Q: I feel like I'm fighting an uphill battle with my kids when it comes to entitlement, and Christmas only makes things worse. A season I once cherished has become something I look forward to as much as a root canal. Any advice?

Jim: I think there are many parents who share your frustration. In fact, your situation reminds me of a family featured on "Good Morning America" last year.

When John and Lisa Henderson grew concerned over the entitled attitudes their three boys were exhibiting, they came up with a radical remedy. They decided to "cancel" Christmas. No Santa. No stockings. No presents.

"We have not canceled putting up decorations, celebrating the birth of our Savior or any of our other heartwarming traditions," Lisa wrote in a blog post.

After months of working with their boys to help them curb a growing sense of entitlement, Lisa said she and her husband decided to take the money they would've spent on gifts and instead "put it toward service projects and giving gifts to others."

The parents' goal for their kids, Lisa explained, was to "teach them the pleasure of giving, rather than continuing to feed their desire for more."

The boys cried when they learned the news, but as Lisa shared, they soon bought in by "making gifts for each other ... They are learning exactly what we wanted them to learn ... They are thinking of others."

The irony of ironies is that the Hendersons didn't really cancel Christmas at all. Rather, by re-emphasizing the importance of expressing love to one another and exhibiting a spirit of generosity, they recaptured its true meaning.

While you and your family may not require such "drastic" measures, I'd encourage you to cultivate a similar spirit of selflessness this Christmas. If you do, you'll pass on the wonder of the season to your children and help them discover a kind of Christmas that can never be canceled.

Q: Somehow our family has fallen into a pattern of needing to "top" the previous holiday season. My kids seem to expect a bigger and better Christmas, and it always falls on me to make it happen. Frankly, I don't have the energy. Can you help me out?

Greg Smalley, Vice President, Family Ministries: There are plenty of us who know exactly what you're talking about. It seems our culture is trending away from the simple and toward the extravagant in almost every area of life. Outrageous birthday parties, theatrical marriage proposals, grandiose weddings and over-the-top events of all kinds have become the norm. As you've experienced, it's an unhealthy expectation that creates a lot of unnecessary stress. When it comes to Christmas, I believe there's a better way.

You can enrich your family's experience of the Christmas season by looking for ways to maximize everyday moments. It's a principle I've often applied to the challenge of building a stronger marriage, but it can also be used to lessen holiday stress and strain as well.

Instead of staging a "Celebration to End All Celebrations," try introducing Christmas into the little things you do each day during December. For instance, keep a batch of holiday cookies on hand and pack them in each child's lunch when you send them off to school. Get your ornaments down from the attic early and involve everyone in sorting them out. Put up one new decoration every day from your assortment of family favorites. Play Christmas music at mealtimes or before bed. Take advantage of small opportunities to share Christmas memories or talk about what the holiday season means to you. There are endless ways to give every day a creative Yuletide twist.

Try it and I guarantee you'll like it. In fact, you may never have a big holiday blowout again!

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

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Q: Can you tell me what it means to "honor" a parent who has become increasingly cranky, feisty, disagreeable and demanding as a result of Alzheimer's disease and the aging process? My mom was once a sweet, caring and soft-spoken woman, but all that has changed dramatically over the past few years.

Jim: There's no doubt about it -- caring for an aging loved one involves sacrifice and self-discipline, especially in situations like yours.

We should begin, then, by defining "honor." Honor implies choosing to give great respect and care to our elders -- not grudgingly, but from a principle of love and out of genuine concern for their needs. True honor is placing the highest value on our loved ones, regardless of whether they deserve it or not.

Once you've made this choice, the key issue is knowing how to carry it out. The biblical commandment to "Honor your father and mother" doesn't mention specifics. It has nothing to say about nursing homes, pensions or Medicare. Nor does it obligate you to take aging parents into your home.

Instead, the art of honoring a cranky elder is based on intuitive knowledge. That knowledge, in turn, is rooted in your love for and commitment to your mother. Out of that commitment and your day-to-day interactions with her will grow an awareness of practical ways you can serve her and care for her immediate needs. This might mean sharing your home and offering financial support. It could also involve seeking support services, filling out endless health insurance forms, providing transportation and communicating with doctors.

Finally, remember that it's never too late -- or too soon -- to love and honor your elders. As you seek to honor your mother, your love for her will grow and your relationship with her will be enriched.

Q: My 13-year-old son loves music and hopes to turn this passion into a viable career someday. As you can imagine, he's constantly checking out new bands and artists' videos. I'm all for him increasing his artistic knowledge and developing his craft, but I worry that he's being exposed to a lot of risque images and nudity. Do I have reason for concern?

Bob Waliszewski, Director, Plugged-In: Sadly, the challenges parents face from the entertainment industry and popular culture don't ease up or take a day off. A recent discussion on Fox News' "Four4Four" program highlighted three well-known female celebs who'd recently gone topless, as the panel examined the question, "(Are) Music Videos Getting too Naked?" Had the program discussed the subject, "Are Music Videos Getting too Risque?" they could have begun that discussion 30 years ago.

But just because nudity and other explicit content is common doesn't mean it's healthy. Overall, more than 60 percent of men ages 18 to 30 admit to viewing porn monthly, and the downside of doing so is well-documented. (Check out internetsafety101.org/harmsofpornography.htm.)

Although there are many ways to start down a path toward porn addiction, I've heard from several men who've said that watching today's movies and television has been their gateway. As one man shared, "I found that to feed my lusts, I didn't need to purchase Penthouse or Playboy ... Hollywood movies and television became my Playboy and Penthouse."

On our website (pluggedin.focusonthefamily.com), you'll find a video of another man who tells a similar story. While both of these examples link back to movies and TV, it's no stretch to say that a great many of today's music videos can have the same unfortunate effect.

In your son's case, I'd suggest installing Internet filtering software (we recommend NetNanny) and hanging out together while he's online studying the latest music videos.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

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Q: How can I teach my children good manners? This is something I'm determined to instill in my kids, but it's not easy. How do I teach them to treat people respectfully when the rest of the culture seems to care less and less for the feelings, sensibilities and rights of others?

Jim: Manners and etiquette are often conceived of in terms of conformity to a set of social mores or culturally defined standards of "correct" behavior (think Emily Post or Miss Manners). From this point of view, they're an aspect of manmade custom and tradition. For people of faith, however, good manners should spring from something deeper such as the Golden Rule and the Great Commandment: "Just as you want men to do to you, you also do to them likewise," and "You shall love your neighbor as yourself."

What does this love look like in action? Practically speaking, it can find expression in any number of ways. Everything depends on the situation, attitude and expectation of the person on the receiving end. If Grandma expects Johnny to keep his napkin in his lap and his elbows off the dinner table, Johnny should be taught to comply. If your neighbor prefers that visitors remove their shoes before coming inside, you ought to honor his wishes. Ultimately, it all comes down to caring for and putting others first.

How do you teach your kids to implement these principles in everyday life? The answer is simple: You model this kind of behavior yourself. Kindness, good manners and respectful treatment of others are best instilled in young minds through consistent example. They are caught more so than taught. Keep in mind that you can't begin too early, and that the best place to start is at home.

Q: Are kids happier when they're closer in age, or is it better to plan them farther apart? My husband and I are discussing having another baby, but we aren't sure if it's the best thing for our 1-year-old son and the dynamics of our family.

Greg Smalley, Vice President, Family Ministries: I'm happy to know that your parenting experience has apparently been positive to where you want to add to the blessing of your family. That's fantastic!

As for your question, I'm afraid there really isn't a simple answer. The significance of "age spacing" and its impact on sibling relationships will vary from family to family. Nevertheless, there are some things to consider.

Children of the same sex born within two years of each other are more likely to develop close bonds and enjoy mutual companionship than those spaced farther apart. But they'll also have more opportunity for conflict and competition. A great deal of good can come out of close sibling relationships of this nature provided Mom and Dad are involved and manage the details wisely.

Kids born four or more years apart will probably experience less camaraderie growing up. This may translate into a more peaceful household, but the challenges can also simply assume a different character. For example, if the older and bigger child displays aggressive behavior, then ensuring safety for the younger child will be a priority. If, however, the older child is mature and cooperative, Mom and Dad may be tempted to place too many adult responsibilities on his shoulders. A child in this position needs to be encouraged to play and allowed to be a kid.

In the end, there may be more important reasons for planning a baby at a particular time than the ages of the existing children. Of far greater significance is Mom's health, the desire for another child, possibly financial considerations and the stability of the marriage.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

INTERNATIONAL COPYRIGHT SECURED. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.