Q: How can we teach our daughters to be more discerning about relationships with friends? I realize girls are more relational than boys, but sometimes I worry that my two tween girls are over-the-top and out of control in this area. Should I be concerned?

Jim: You probably don't need to be overly concerned. Girls at this age do tend to be more relational than boys, and soak up friendships like a sponge. As with the onset of puberty, it's something that happens whether parents like it or not. You should, however, be prepared to guide and moderate it appropriately as necessary.

I'd suggest you encourage your daughters to cultivate their bent for relationships in positive ways. Teach them to be kind, inclusive and welcoming to those who aren't part of their circle of friends. Emphasize the Golden Rule -- and impress upon them the importance of keeping a compassionate eye out for kids who've been marginalized by the "popular crowd." Remind them that thoughtful, caring people are nicer to be around. Encourage them to choose friends of solid character.

At the same time, you'll want to alert them to potential pitfalls. Tell your daughters to beware of any girl or boy who wants to "own" them or who tries to assert an exclusive right to their loyalties. Teach them that true friendship is liberating and open-ended, not demanding or binding.

You should also warn them about the dangers of cliquishness and the meanness of character it tends to foster. There's nothing wrong with having a group of special friends, but it shouldn't be an elite and impenetrable inner circle. As long as it remains porous -- open to outsiders and newcomers -- a group of this kind can provide girls with lots of opportunities for healthy and enriching social interaction.

Q: I've been hearing about the potential impact of electronic media on health, learning and interpersonal relationships. Should I be concerned? If so, should it affect the limits I put on my kids' consumption?

Bob Waliszewski, Director, Plugged-In: A few years back, a "Zits" comic showed teenager Jeremy vacationing with his parents at the Grand Canyon. The joke was that instead of enjoying the breathtaking scenery, Jeremy was in the back of the car playing video games. It was a humorous commentary on a very sad and real problem.

According to the latest report from the Pew Research Center, 24 percent of teens say they're online "almost constantly." Another 56 percent report logging on several times a day. Of course, surfing the Web is just one aspect of today's digital world. We also have to consider movies, TV, music and video games. All of these have their place -- and can even be beneficial when used wisely. But there's increasing evidence that today's media also puts kids at greater risk for depression, obesity, attention problems, sexual promiscuity, poor grades, drug and alcohol use, anxiety and low self-esteem.

In view of this, I would say, "Yes. You have many good reasons for placing limits on your kids' consumption of electronic media."

Putting the genie back in the bottle may not be pleasant. But as you know, being a responsible and loving parent sometimes means doing the hard thing. This may include gathering cellphones at bed- and mealtimes, setting one day a week as a "screen-free day," or even taking a screen-free vacation where electronic devices get left at home. Just as important is to fill the void with fun and meaningful activities. Also, inviting your kids' input as to what that might look like can go a long way in easing the transition.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

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Q: What does it take to be a good father? I grew up without a dad. Now I'm married with a baby on the way, and I'm feeling anxious and unprepared. Do you have any advice?

Jim: I get you. That was me. That is me. Being a dad is tough enough. But for guys like us whose fathers were physically or emotionally absent, the job seems especially daunting. You and I understand -- perhaps in ways other men cannot -- just how important it is for kids to have a healthy male role model in their lives.

Thankfully, God has been gracious to put some wise and solid men in my path to instruct, encourage and support me along the way. Realizing what a difference maker they've been, my first suggestion would be to find a mentor -- an experienced older man who can help you discover what it means to be a good husband and father. A good place to look may be a church that has a strong men's ministry. Another excellent option is the National Center for Fathering. Visit the organization's website at fathers.com for information about its Dads of Destiny program and other great resources.

It's also possible that your experience as a fatherless child has left you with some unresolved emotional issues. I'd encourage you to work through these as you seek to become the best dad you can be for your own kids. We'd be happy to provide you with referrals for qualified counselors in your area.

Finally, as my Father's Day gift to you and any other dads who can use encouragement to face today's challenges of fatherhood, I'd like to give you a copy of my latest book, "The Good Dad: Becoming the Father You Were Meant to Be." Just call 1-800-A-FAMILY (232-6459) and request a copy with my compliments as supplies are available.

Q: Sometimes my husband and I talk about sensitive issues while out on a date. We're so busy that this is typically the most convenient time for us to discuss problems and concerns. Is this a good idea?

Greg Smalley, Vice President, Family Ministries: King Solomon wrote, "Enjoy life with the woman whom you love all the days of your fleeting life which (God) has given to you under the sun; for this is your reward in life..." Although his admonition was offered thousands of years ago, current research confirms what the wise king understood and knew in his heart: Spending time enjoying your spouse is critical to a healthy marriage.

Marital research experts Dr. Scott Stanley and Dr. Howard Markman conducted a survey to discover what creates a "strong" relationship. To their surprise, the amount of fun couples had together emerged as the strongest factor in understanding overall marital happiness.

If time spent together having fun is this important, then we must jealously guard these moments against invading distractions. Allowing conflict or unpleasantries to creep in is like throwing a red shirt into a washer full of white clothes. It's only one small shirt, but it's enough to ruin the whole load.

Conflict during dates can have the same destructive effect because it intensifies emotions, making it difficult to relax and enjoy each other. If the pattern becomes a practice, your mate may lose the desire to do fun things because the experience ends up turning "pink."

Before that happens, we encourage you and your spouse to set aside difficult conversations during date night and reschedule them for when you can give them your undivided attention. Focusing on the fun during dates will strengthen your bond and enable you to deal with the difficult issues better at the proper time.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

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Q: Should we terminate our friendship with another couple after the man and I became involved in an emotional affair? It's over now, and our spouses have taken a firm but conciliatory attitude toward the whole thing. We've suspended our normal get-togethers for the time being. At some point, though, do you think it would be OK to resume our friendship?

Jim: As much as it's hard to hear, I would say "no." From our perspective, there's simply no way around it. When marital unfaithfulness has occurred, perhaps the most important element of the reconciliation process is a willingness on the part of the offending spouse to take responsibility for his or her actions and accept the consequences. In your case, we'd have to include the loss of this friendship among the casualties.

Imagine if the man was a co-worker. Would it be possible, once the affair was over, to go back to life as usual in the office? We don't think so. Our advice would be to give two weeks' notice and find a new job.

What if he were your next-door neighbor? This is admittedly a more difficult and complicated scenario. Nevertheless, circumstances permitting and all other things being equal, we'd still recommend that you pack the house and relocate.

Why do we say this? Because it's unwise to place yourself in temptation's path. You may think you've got your emotions under control, but the affair can and often does recur if you're not careful. A wise man once wrote, "Can a man scoop fire into his lap without his clothes being burned? Can a man walk on hot coals without his feet being scorched?" The answer, of course, is no. The best thing you can do is cut all ties with the other couple.

Q: How can I know if I need to seek professional help with my depression? I've felt sad and fatigued for a long time, but I'm hoping it's just a phase.

Greg Smalley, Vice President, Family Ministries: Because clinical or major depression is a serious problem, I'd encourage you to seek help right away. Clinical depression is more than a temporary emotional slump. It involves a persistent -- lasting two weeks or longer -- and usually disruptive disturbance of mood and often affects other bodily functions as well. Here's a list of the most prominent characteristics:

-- Persistent sadness and/or irritability. This may include depressive emotional reactions that seem out of proportion to the circumstances; episodes of moping and crying; withdrawal and isolation; fatigue and loss of enthusiasm or interest in favorite activities; poor school performance; and outbursts of anger and overt acting out.

-- Painful thoughts that manifest themselves in relentless introspection, a negative self-concept, persistent anxiety and a sense of hopelessness.

-- Physical symptoms such as insomnia, changes in appetite, headaches, dizziness, nausea, heart palpitations, abdominal cramps and episodes of shortness of breath.

-- In rare cases, a severe case of depression may also involve delusional thinking, including visual and auditory hallucinations. This is not merely depression but a form of psychosis, a serious disorder of neurochemical functions in the brain.

While treatable, the causes of depression can be extremely complex, including a blend of genetic, biochemical, personal, family and spiritual factors. That's why I'd encourage to you get a physician's evaluation and seek professional counseling without delay. Focus on the Family's Counseling Department would be happy to speak with you and provide you with a list of qualified therapists in your area. You can contact them Monday through Friday between 6:00 a.m. and 8:00 p.m. MST at 855-771-HELP (4357)

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

INTERNATIONAL COPYRIGHT SECURED. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.