Q: Should I marry my pregnant girlfriend? Our relationship has always been one of convenience, and neither of us considered it permanent. She intends to raise the baby, and I want to do my part. But my girlfriend has some significant life issues, and we'd face huge obstacles if we married.

Jim: First, let me commend you for accepting responsibility for the choices you've made -- including life for your baby. However, marriage shouldn't be seen as a "quick fix." There are many things that need to occur and questions that need to be answered.

First, sit down together and work though the practical implications of pregnancy. Once you've talked this out, it might be appropriate to broach the subject of marriage. There's a long list of things you should consider, such as emotional maturity and stability, shared values and spiritual commitment, the support of your families and adequate financial resources.

If these issues would make it difficult for either of you to commit to a lifelong relationship, I'd suggest you put aside thoughts of marriage for the time being and think about how you can financially support your child and stay engaged as a dad. On the other hand, if the building blocks for a strong marriage are in place, I'd encourage you to consider premarital counseling with a qualified marriage counselor.

Keep in mind, too, that marriage isn't the only way to provide for your child's future. A plan for adoption may be in everyone's best interest. You might want to talk to a local pregnancy resource center about this option.

Responsibility doesn't come without sacrifice -- whichever path you both believe to be wisest going forward. But it's important that you consider how your decisions will affect this new life. If Focus on the Family can help you through the process, please call us at 1-800-A-FAMILY.

Q: My mother-in-law is a lifelong hypochondriac. The doctors have told her she's fine, and most refuse to see her anymore. She's driven my husband's family crazy for years, and now it's affecting our relationship. My husband says we should just ignore her behavior, but when we do, she gets upset and calls continuously. I feel like my husband needs to confront her, but he's afraid to rock the boat. What should we do?

Dr. Greg Smalley, Vice President, Family Ministries: This isn't an easy situation. The frustrations and challenges you're facing are very real. Unfortunately, hypochondriasis is more than just an annoying behavior. It's a legitimate anxiety disorder that requires professional treatment. If this course hasn't yet been pursued, I'd encourage your husband and his family to explore this option.

While you can't guarantee changes in your mother-in-law's behavior, you do need to address the challenges it presents to your marriage. It's critical that you and your husband approach this as a team and not just something he needs to fix. Begin by determining what you both really need and want. For you, it's a limit on unhealthy communication with your mother-in-law. Your husband probably has the same desire, but also wants to preserve the relationship with his mom. He may fear that imposing any restriction on interactions with her will threaten that -- especially since his mother may have instilled feelings of guilt at a young age about him "not being supportive."

Once you've both identified your core needs, devise and implement a solution that accommodates them. As difficult as it might be, establishing some firm boundaries with her should be a part of your plan. For direction on how to navigate this road, I recommend getting a copy of "Boundaries," by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend. Our licensed counselors would also be happy to help.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

Q: Last year while confronting cancer, I underwent a hysterectomy and had a breast removed. Since then, my husband has distanced himself emotionally and doesn't seem to care at all about sex. I'm devastated. Can you help me?

Jim: I'm sorry to hear of the heartache you've had to endure. Many couples in your situation experience similar struggles, and most don't understand the underlying dynamics.

For a woman in your position, it's easy to feel like she's been "diminished" as a person -- that she's lost part of her identity or femininity. As a result, her body image is skewed and her self-image plummets, which often is further compounded by the emotional ups and downs associated with menopause and midlife.

The man, on the other hand, is frequently wrestling with issues of his own. Despite his best efforts to put up a brave front, he often finds it difficult to watch his wife undergo a major surgery like a mastectomy or hysterectomy. Fear, uncertainty, or feelings of inadequacy may cause him to shut down emotionally in the form of silence and withdrawal.

In both cases, perception is the problem. Both husband and wife are laboring under false ideas about themselves. The solution is to get the streams of honest communication and candid self-disclosure flowing. If you and your husband can acknowledge your feelings to yourselves and then discuss them in open conversation, the cloud hanging over your marriage may begin to disperse. I'd also encourage you both to find the support of a trusted same-sex friend who can help you work through the specifically male and female aspects of your respective situations.

If you find it hard to talk with your spouse about this subject, consider seeking the help of a professional counselor. Our staff would be happy to assist you with a referral.

Q: My 12-year-old daughter loves YouTube. But since there's no real rating system, she can bounce from an innocent talking cat video to some guy's profanity-laced "vlog" without warning. How can I keep her on the right channel?

Bob Waliszewski, Director, Plugged In: Sadly, some of the most risque stuff I've ever seen (and as a film critic I've seen a lot) has been on YouTube. One billion video clips are now viewed daily on YouTube, with 100 hours of content uploaded every minute. In other words, no matter how committed YouTube may be to keeping its service clean and porn-free, there's simply no way its censors can keep up with the volume.

That said, YouTube isn't all bad. Think of it as a library filled with books: Some books are great, some are neutral, and some are disgusting. A good friend of mine recently replaced a broken driver's side window by following a how-to-fix-it YouTube video he found. It saved him hundreds of dollars -- definitely a "good book."

Keeping your daughter in the great books section of the YouTube library, however, is a real challenge. Fortunately, Internet filtering software such as NetNanny does a good job of blocking undesirable content, and I recommend installing such software.

But better still, I'd encourage you to sit down with your daughter to view and talk about a variety of YouTube videos, including some out-of-bounds ones you've previewed. Resist the urge to just give a thumbs up or down. Rather, cultivate discernment in your daughter by asking her questions and discussing the content and messaging of each video. Your goal is to help her identify and understand why a certain video does or doesn't make the grade and how to respond when she encounters unsavory material. Finally, be sure to revisit these conversations every few weeks.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

Q: We adopted our son at birth and have raised him in a loving home. Now that he's a teenager, he's obsessed with the fact that he's adopted. When he gets angry, he yells, "You aren't my real parents!" We are devastated because we love him so much and want him to know that this is his real family. It's so complicated because he doesn't know his birth parents. How can we help him?

Jim: Our team that oversees Focus on the Family's Orphan Care Initiative has written extensively about the challenges adoptive parents face. They recommend that parents do not become hurt, discouraged or threatened when their kids express a desire for contact with their birth parents. You mentioned that your son "doesn't know his birth parents," but is there any information you might be able to give him in that regard?

This will, of course, depend greatly upon your own situation and the circumstances of the adoption. But in general, the adoption should not be an off-limits topic with your son. Allow him to ask questions. Again, our adoption team advises parents that being open, honest and forthcoming is one of the most helpful things they can do for their adopted kids. It does not negate the fact that he is your son and a member of your family.

If you'd like additional help navigating these waters, please call our counseling team for a free consultation. Also, consider two excellent books on this subject: "Handbook on Thriving as an Adoptive Family: Real-Life Solutions to Common Challenges" by David and Renee Sanford, and "Before You Were Mine: Discovering Your Adopted Child's Lifestory" by Susan TeBos and Carissa Woodwyk.

Q: Our teenage daughter is out of control. She's disrespectful to us and is causing problems in school. She's never been like this before. It's so out of character for her. We try to talk to her and she just says there's nothing wrong. We're at our breaking point and feel so helpless. Is it time for counseling?

Dr. Greg Smalley, Vice President, Family Ministries: We often hear from weary parents who have reached the end of their rope with a strong-willed adolescent. You're not alone.

When it comes to her behavior, it's critical that you lay out your expectations in advance and make sure that your daughter understands them. The consequences for rebellious or disobedient behavior should also be spelled out beforehand, and the implementation of those consequences should be prompt and consistent. Your daughter will likely challenge these standards at every opportunity, but it's crucial to keep your cool in the face of defiance. Don't give her an opportunity to seize control of the situation.

Also, keep in mind that teens of all temperaments are in the process of trying to form an identity. This can often play itself out in behavior calculated to define "self" in opposition to the values, beliefs, wishes and instructions of the parents. This is another reason why consistent guidelines are so important. They should be divided into at least three different categories: non-negotiable rules, negotiable rules, and rules that can be discarded as your daughter matures and demonstrates a growing ability to regulate her own behavior.

Is it time for counseling? That's a tough determination to make from afar, but you might start by calling Focus on the Family for a free consultation with one of our licensed marriage and family therapists.

Finally, don't lose hope! We hear from many parents who are ready to give up on their volatile teens, only to see them reach a more mature equilibrium after high school.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.