Q: Would you recommend adopting a child from another country or a different ethnic group? My spouse and I are seriously interested in helping a youngster who needs a home, but we're unsure about the potential risks and challenges of interracial or intercultural adoption.

Jim: Let me applaud you for your willingness to bring a needy child into your home. As you may know, Focus on the Family's Adoption and Orphan Care Initiative was developed to raise awareness about the plight of orphans and to urge people to become involved. With 100,000 children waiting to be adopted here in the United States and more than 150 million orphans worldwide, it's clear that there's an opportunity to make a life-changing difference in these precious lives.

As one who was orphaned at a young age, I would wholeheartedly support and encourage families to welcome any child awaiting adoption with open arms, regardless of his or her nationality or ethnic origin. It's important, however, for everyone to be aware of and prepared for relational dynamics that might potentially have an impact. For example, if someone in the neighborhood, or perhaps an extended family member, harbors racial prejudice and could possibly display those attitudes in front of the child, the prospective parents need to be prepared to deal with the situation appropriately.

In addition, parents should take intentional steps to become educated about and culturally sensitive to their child's ethnicity.

Although it's difficult to address this topic comprehensively in this context, you may be interested to know that our staff has devoted an entire chapter to interracial adoption in a book we've prepared that you might find helpful: "Handbook on Thriving as an Adoptive Family: Real-Life Solutions to Common Challenges." You can order a copy from our online store (family.christianbook.com), or by calling us at 855-771-HELP (4357).

Q: Our family has high standards when it comes to our movie choices. But how do we handle movies that kids often watch at slumber parties?

Bob Waliszewski, Director, Plugged In: Good question. You're smart to assume that overnighters will involve at least one film before kids actually get to the "slumber" part of the party.

Here's what I'd recommend: Call the parents of the child hosting the event. Explain that because of the influential nature of motion pictures, your family is very intentional about consuming films that have a positive impact, and because of this, you'd like a heads-up on what movies, if any, are being planned for the night. They may appreciate the inquiry because many parents have boundaries for their own kids. If the film being showcased presents concerns, politely explain why and offer to send some alternative movies with your child. Should you experience or sense a lack of support, you may need to determine whether or not your child should attend the gathering, or if he or she is trustworthy and courageous enough to ask to be excused while others are watching.

One last thing: Become the "go-to" house for your kids' activities -- slumber parties and all other fun things -- as much as possible. Instead of watching movies (which takes no creativity whatsoever), help your kids plan a "better than watching a movie" slumber party.

Maybe you can play a game of broom soccer or ultimate Frisbee at a park nearby. A scavenger hunt that involves video-recording certain activities (e.g., videotape a dog that responds to the command, "Bang!" by rolling over and playing dead) is always a winner with kids. Or if there's talent within the group, have the kids script and shoot a melodrama using their phones, which they can then enjoy watching together afterward.

Consider looking online for other kid-safe ideas.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

Q: How should I respond to my child's fascination with evil characters? He's only 3 years old, but whenever he plays make-believe, he always takes on the role of the villain, and the only action figures he wants are those representing "bad guys." Is this fascination unhealthy?

Jim: Our counselors suggest that there's probably no reason to be overly concerned about your 3-year-old's interest in villains. Many young children are fascinated with "bad guys." If your son is like most kids, it's likely a phase that will eventually pass. You might also keep in mind that if you focus on the issue and try to force him to stop liking these characters, he may thrive on the negative attention. Kids will do almost anything for attention, especially if they're feeling neglected. For now, the best approach is to ignore this current preoccupation and simply concentrate on affirming his interests that are more positive.

That said, if your son is mimicking the behaviors of the evil characters and acting out in inappropriate ways, I'd encourage you to nip that in the bud. Don't allow him to become mean-spirited, aggressive or hurtful with you, his siblings or other children.

In the meantime, remember that you can use fictional children's characters to teach your child about virtuous personality traits. It's possible to do this by setting up a contrast between the "good guys" and the "bad guys." For example, you can ask him, "Which character is more honest?" Then discuss the consequences of dishonesty. In the same way, you could ask, "Who is more helpful to other people?" By doing so, you'll be directing the conversation into channels that are affirming of positive virtues and actions.

Q: Do you have any advice for the parent of a preteen who's trying to gear up for "the talk" about sexuality and "the facts of life"?

Dr. Greg Smalley, Vice President, Family Ministries: It's good to hear you've been giving this some thought. Too often kids hear about sex from everyone but their parents, and a "pre-emptive strike" can give your child a healthy view of sexuality that will stand up to distorted perspectives coming from other sources.

There's no foolproof formula for carrying out this assignment, but I'd suggest keeping the following principles in mind:

-- Giving your child facts about reproduction doesn't rob him of innocence. A school-age child who understands the specifics of sex, while seeing it as something that, in the proper context, both expresses love and begins new life, retains his innocence. But a child who knows very little about sex can already have a corrupt mindset if he's been exposed to it in a degrading context.

-- Don't try to tell your child everything during a single marathon session. Details should be shared gradually over a period of several years.

-- If your child asks questions you can't answer, don't become flustered. Be honest, and then do some research. You'll gain far more stature in your child's eyes by showing candor than by bluffing.

-- The overarching theme of your discussions should be the importance of respect -- respect for our bodies, the wonders of reproduction, privacy in sexual matters and for the well-being of others. Along with providing the correct names and places of body parts, the mechanics of intercourse and the process of fertilization, you'll want to emphasize that sex between one man and one woman -- maintained within a marriage relationship to which both are committed for life -- is not only the right context for the expression of sex, but the safest and most pleasurable.

For more help and a free copy of "The Talk: Changing the Conversation," visit us at focusonthefamily.com/havingthetalk.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

Q: My husband and I are newly married, and my in-laws are always making unannounced visits. We've subtly suggested that they call first, but so far nothing has changed. What should we do?

Jim: In-law relations can be especially sensitive and difficult to manage. Because this involves your husband's parents, it's best if he addresses this problem with his mom and dad. That's assuming that the two of you are on the same page. If this isn't the case, then you'll need to resolve this issue before tackling the in-law problem.

For a marriage to thrive, a couple needs to view and recognize themselves as a family unit that is separate and distinct from their families of origin. It's critical that they grant their new family unit precedence over the old and give priority to building and strengthening their relationship. Once you and your husband have agreed on this, you can then explain your position to your in-laws.

Hopefully this can be accomplished by means of a good-natured, non-defensive family discussion. I'd suggest your husband begin by telling his parents how much you both love them, and that you desire their involvement in your lives. Then he should explain that, as newlyweds, you're trying to establish a new life together, and that this requires a certain amount of privacy. Assure them that they are welcome to come by, but that you'd prefer to know ahead of time.

If they react defensively or in anger, or continue to drop by unannounced, there are probably some boundary issues below the surface that you may need to guard against. If that's the case, I'd encourage you to get a copy of the book "Boundaries," by Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend (Zondervan, 1992). Or feel free to call one of our Focus counselors for help.

Q. My wife and I are newly married with adult children from previous marriages. Her son recently moved in with us because his wife left him for another man. We're trying to support him, but I'm concerned he's taking advantage of his mother. She does everything for him and it bothers me. How should I approach my wife about this without harming our relationship?

Dr. Greg Smalley, Vice President, Family Ministries: You're wise to take a thoughtful approach here. My advice to anyone who's confronting another person is to first sort out what's really the troubling issue. For you, it could be that you're being protective of your wife. Or perhaps the attention she's redirecting toward him has caused you to feel neglected by your new bride, whose company you'd like to be enjoying. Both can be legitimate concerns, but it's critical you determine what it is that truly needs to be discussed.

When you do sit down with your wife, take your cue from St. Francis and seek to understand, before being understood. Listen first to learn why she's indulging her son. She may be feeling guilt over the breakup of her family, or pain for her son because of his own divorce. Whatever the case, empathize with her feelings and how this has impacted her. Only then should you begin to share your feelings.

Finally, work together to come up with a solution that's a "win-win" for your marriage. Remember you're a team, and anything resembling a "win-lose" is a loss for both of you. Devise a plan for how her son can contribute (cleaning, laundry, rent, etc.) and for how long he can stay. Then support your wife as she communicates these boundaries to her son with you by her side. Although this is a challenge you'd prefer to avoid, it could make your marriage even stronger in the end.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.