Q: How can we get a break from the kids once in a while? Ever since they came along, we can't even find two minutes to sit down and have a meaningful conversation.

Jim: This is a common challenge for most parents, and it probably won't surprise you that the biggest hurdles are typically time and money. Although these are real concerns, a little outside-the-box thinking and expectation adjustment can go a long way toward getting around these obstacles.

For instance, you may not be able to afford a baby sitter or dinner at a restaurant once a week. If so, you might choose one night a week to get the kids in bed early, put a pizza in the oven, and enjoy each other's company. Many couples are avoiding this roadblock by sharing baby-sitting responsibilities with other young parents. One couple goes out while the other cares for both sets of kids; then, the following week, they trade places. This is just one of the ways you might get creative about finding child care in order to free yourselves up for regular "dates." If the cost of a night out on the town is prohibitive, pick up some fast food and head for the park. Relaxing and meaningful time together doesn't have to be expensive.

If you're wondering whether it's worth the hassle, think back to the time you had with your spouse before your first baby arrived. My guess is that you'll recall some special moments you'd forgotten about that brought the two of you closer together. Even if you can't find the same time you once enjoyed, take whatever you can get. The main thing is to consciously and regularly look for any and all opportunities to be a couple again. You'll be glad you did.

Q: Several times you've suggested that pornography is detrimental to individuals who engage with it. I can understand if you want to make this a moral issue, but personally I don't see how it negatively impacts the person who consumes it. Where's the harm?

Dr. Greg Smalley, Vice President, Family Ministries: The most obvious evidence may be seen in the increase in sexual addictions that has accompanied the digital age and its corresponding easy access to and proliferation of porn. Sexual addictions of every kind have become widespread, affecting men and women, boys and girls, from every age group and all walks of life.

God has designed us with a basic human craving for relationship, and all of us are wired with the need to connect. Unfortunately, pornography offers a counterfeit and distorted form of intimacy and attachment. In fact, Juli Slattery and Linda Dillow, co-founders of Authentic Intimacy, report that married couples younger than 30 years of age are facing intimacy challenges that previous generations never had to confront -- and a common, significant factor is pornography.

Many of today's young men have been "raised" on porn and have become accustomed to the instant sexual gratification it provides. As a result, they often don't know how to build an authentic sexual relationship with their wives. Or they may not want to invest the effort needed to achieve true physical intimacy, especially since women generally require time to respond, and men can interpret it as personal failure when they don't. That's not to mention the sense of rejection and betrayal experienced by a wife or husband whose spouse is hooked on porn.

Recovery isn't easy, and it takes time and hard work to develop healthy relationships. But help is available. Our Focus staff of licensed therapists would be happy to talk with anyone who may be struggling. Please give them a call.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

Focus on the Family counselors are available Monday through Friday between 6 a.m. and 8 p.m. Mountain time at 855-771-HELP (4357). Focus on the Family's website is at www.focusonthefamily.com.

Q: After decades of looking forward to retirement, I find that the promised carefree lifestyle isn't quite what I expected. I worked hard to attain this goal, and now I'm struggling with discontentment. What do you suggest I do?

Jim: Restlessness and discontent are often spawned by false hopes and unrealistic expectations. We've been conditioned by advertisers and marketers to picture retirement as an endless existence of leisure and luxury. The problem is that most of us never make it to this "paradise" -- and even those who do sometimes find it leaves a sour taste in their mouth. Perhaps your dissatisfaction stems from your experience not matching up with the hype.

If retirement isn't delivering what you really want out of life, I'd encourage you to shake up the status quo. Start by taking an honest inventory of who you are and what you desire. It's quite possible that you're a person who, more than anything else, wants the opportunity to keep giving of yourself. In fact, Focus on the Family has been blessed by the invaluable contributions of retirees who volunteer their skills and experience to help us in our outreach.

If you feel something like this might provide the fulfillment you've been lacking, I can assure you that there is no shortage of organizations needing your help. You might start with your church or local school district -- they always need mentors or teaching assistants. And many nature preserves, museums and fine art centers are searching for docents.

That said, it's also possible you may be struggling with depression that sometimes accompanies a major change in life. If you think this may be your situation, I'd invite you to call our Focus counseling staff. They would be privileged to help you work through this transition, so you can embrace this new season to the fullest.

Q: I know I'm supposed to love and honor my wife, but there are times when she's incredibly rude and unkind to me, our kids and even family and friends. How can I "honor" her when she's behaving badly?

Dr. Greg Smalley, Vice President, Family Ministries: There are many ways a husband can honor his wife. Admittedly, that's a lot easier when we're happy and the relationship is peachy. But unkind and selfish behavior is something we've all been guilty of, and it's how we respond to our spouse when we're on the receiving end that's the key. Here's an approach I've found helpful.

-- Separate the person from the behavior. As someone created in God's image, your wife is of value and worthy of honor regardless of her behavior.

-- Recognize that your perception of your wife is affected by her behavior. It's easy to "switch lenses" when you're frequently hurt or frustrated by her. Consequently, you may be tempted to see everything through a lens that accentuates the negative and eliminates the positive. Psychologists call this "confirmation bias." The remedy is to flip the lens and begin actively looking for the positives.

-- Consider how you might be distorting the problem. Is it possible that you have a hot button, a pet peeve, an old wound or an issue in your past that makes a particular behavior loom large in your mind?

-- Finally, confront the negative behavior, not the person, using healthy conflict-resolution tools. It's critical to do this in the spirit of honesty and humility versus anger and pride. This, ultimately, is how you will honor her.

For help on navigating conflict in a respectful, appropriate and effective way, check out my book, "Fight Your Way to a Better Marriage" (Howard Books, 2013), or call our Focus staff of counselors.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

Focus on the Family counselors are available Monday through Friday between 6 a.m. and 8 p.m. Mountain time at 855-771-HELP (4357). Focus on the Family's website is at www.focusonthefamily.com.

Q: We just learned my spouse has cancer, and we're reeling. We have the best possible medical care, but there's one area where doctors can't help us: What can we do to keep the disease from harming our marriage?

Jim: Your world's been turned on its head overnight, and my heart truly goes out to you.

As you've wisely anticipated, medical crises can present a challenge to any marriage. I'd encourage you to prepare yourselves for potential threats by keeping the following thoughts in mind.

-- Adjust your expectations. Life is changed for the moment. How you respond as a couple will depend upon your willingness to set aside your earlier hopes and dreams and roll with the punches of your present circumstances.

-- Become adaptable. A medical crisis requires compromise and sacrifice for the sake of the patient and other family members. You may have to learn different medical skills, exchange previous roles and responsibilities and find new ways of enjoying life together.

-- Count your blessings. Make a determined effort to look for and find things for which you're grateful. While this is admittedly tougher to do in the midst of deep water, you both will reap the emotional, physical and spiritual benefits that result from an attitude of gratitude.

-- Nurture your faith. Perhaps the biggest challenge you'll face is making sense of and finding meaning in all this. Feelings of doubt are normal during crisis, so don't sweep them under the rug or feel guilty for having them. You may discover a deeper and stronger sense of God's presence as you wrestle with them.

-- Ask for help. Practical assistance, prayer, medical or legal advice, and a meal shared with a listening ear are things you may need at different times. Don't be shy about making your needs known. Friends will want to support you, and the experience will be as good for them as it will be encouraging to you.

It's people like you I had in mind when I penned my book, "Stronger: Trading Brokenness for Unbreakable Strength." I know your deepest need is beyond any human act or offering. But if it's any encouragement, I'd like to invite you, and others who are facing difficult circumstances, to call 1-800-A-FAMILY (232-6459) and request a copy with my compliments as supplies are available, or to speak with one of our licensed counselors. We're here and ready to help.

Q: Video games are always begging for our kids' attention. But I'm concerned about some of the detrimental effects of gaming. Can you give me any advice?

Bob Waliszewski, Director, Plugged In: There are several things to consider, but I'll touch on the two most important.

First, make sure the content of your family's gaming consumption is on the positive side of the ledger. There are a lot of upbeat, fun-to-play games families can enjoy together that can promote deeper relationships. In fact, I've almost always got a game of electronic chess going with my son, who lives out of state.

Unfortunately, many of today's most popular video games are anything but positive. As a parent, it's your responsibility to establish wise guidelines in your home that steer clear of games that glamorize life's ugly side.

Second, even positive games can be a time bandit and lead to addictive behaviors if not kept in check. So establish reasonable time limits. In our home, we used an egg timer to enforce a 30-minutes-per-day rule.

For video game reviews and other helpful resources, check out pluggedin.com.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

Focus on the Family counselors are available Monday through Friday between 6 a.m. and 8 p.m. Mountain time at 855-771-HELP (4357). Focus on the Family's website is at www.focusonthefamily.com.