Q: How should I deal with the tension between my son and his dad over his participation in sports? Summer leagues are starting up again, and I'm dreading the inevitable fights between them. Our son is an excellent athlete, but he's never enjoyed playing, because of the pressure he gets to perform. What do you suggest?

Jim: As someone who grew up enjoying and benefitting from sports, I can understand your husband's eagerness to pass some of the same positive experiences on to your son. It's important to encourage children to pursue excellence and develop self-discipline, and with some kids sports can be an excellent vehicle for teaching these values. Even more critical, though, is for the parent-child relationship to be based on unconditional love and acceptance. Kids desperately need Mom and Dad to be their biggest cheerleaders, affirming them when they succeed and encouraging them when they fail.

If we as dads (or moms) are overly competitive, we can often make the mistake of basing worth on achievement and affirming our kids only when they succeed. That's a bad move. It may negatively impact our child's self-esteem for the rest of his or her life. It will also place an unnecessary strain on the parent-child relationship, preparing the way for major explosions when they reach the teen years.

If your husband has difficulty parenting this way, you may want to get a copy of Dr. Tim Kimmel's insightful book "Grace-Based Parenting" (Thomas Nelson, 2005) and study it together. Then spend some time discussing the changes that one or both of you may need to make in your interactions with your son. I'd also invite you to give our licensed counselors a call at 855-771-HELP (4357).

Q: My daughter is married to a good man, but she can be very unkind and disrespectful to him. I want to talk with her about this, but I'm not sure that's best. It embarrasses me when she's like this. What should I do?

Dr. Greg Smalley, Vice President, Family Ministries: You're wise to tread lightly here. It's important to not shy away from confronting destructive behavior, but in every scenario it should be approached with prayer, honesty and humility. If not, it can result in further harm instead of healing. The pitfalls in your case could be the alienation of your daughter, or an unintended wedge being driven in their relationship if your daughter thinks you're taking sides. Your actions could also have the effect of "neutering" your son-in-law in the eyes of his wife if she thinks "Mother" has to fight his battles.

Honestly assessing your motives will help you avoid these undesirable outcomes. Be open to the possibility that your interpretation of things may be influenced by experiences from your family of origin, or those in your own marriage. That you find your daughter's behavior "embarrassing" might indicate that you're concerned how it reflects on you.

Keep in mind, too, that it can be difficult for an adult child to accept "reproof" from a parent. It may be a matter better addressed by a non-family member. You might pray that God would embolden a trusted friend or bring along a couple mentor.

If you decide that your relationship is strong and secure enough to have this conversation, voice your concerns thoughtfully. Use "I" statements, and resist judging or blaming. Instead of using absolutes (i.e. "You are ..."), speak in tentative terms (i.e. "It appears that ..."). Remember: Your goal is to listen, rather than to try and fix things. You might encourage her to find help from a counselor, including our Focus staff of therapists. If we can assist, please give us a call.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

Focus on the Family counselors are available Monday through Friday between 6 a.m. and 8 p.m. Mountain time at 855-771-HELP (4357). Focus on the Family's website is at www.focusonthefamily.com.

Q: I married my husband purely for pragmatic reasons. As a single mom, I believed he'd make a great father to my child. Now I realize that I never really had romantic feelings for him. Is there hope for our relationship?

Jim: The short answer to your question is yes. Why? Two reasons: First, in cultures where marriages are arranged, we know that couples often learn to love one another deeply, even though their relationships weren't originally based on romantic feelings. This isn't to say that feelings have no place in marriage. They absolutely do. But in this case, the feelings generally follow in the wake of intentional, deliberate actions, growing out of commitment, perseverance and hard work.

In your situation, there's even more reason for hope. Though you're not sure how to make it happen, you want to fall in love with your husband -- otherwise, you wouldn't have asked your question. To put it another way, you're dissatisfied with the status quo and willing to make a change. In a very real sense, then, you've already taken an important step in the right direction.

You can build on this foundation by asking yourself what it was that first attracted you to your husband. At some level, the two of you felt an emotional connection and there was something that led you to believe that life with him would be better than life without him. That spark may have diminished over time, but it can still be found and fanned into a flame if you're willing to put forth the effort.

A resource that may help is Emerson Eggerichs' book and CD series "Love and Respect." Our Focus counselors are also available for a free consultation and would love to speak with you. They can be reached at 855-771-HELP (4357).

Q: I know there are Internet-filtering products that can block inappropriate websites on our home computer. But I'm just as concerned about protecting my children from the kind of destructive content they can pull up on their smartphones and mobile devices. Is there anything out there that can help?

Bob Waliszewski, Director, Plugged In: You're wise to be aware of this potential threat to your kids' well-being. With more and more information being accessed via mobile devices, it's no longer enough to just equip your PC with the best filtering software. You also need to safeguard your family's phones from harmful Web content.

Focus on the Family has partnered with Net Nanny in an effort to help make families aware of its effective Internet-blocking software for home computers. I'm pleased to say that you can find this same reliability through a Net Nanny app that's been designed for Android smartphones. (This app is also available for iPhones, but due to Apple's regulations, it isn't as robust as the Android version.) The tool is effective because Net Nanny becomes your child's default Internet browser and blocks other browsers from launching on his or her smartphone. Net Nanny also manages the apps your child can access on the device. Plus, as the parent, you can manage your child's phone settings, view reports and much more.

How? Simply download the app, follow the installation instructions and create a user profile for your child on his or her device. You can use one of Net Nanny's pre-defined age-based user profiles, or you can customize the profile to include your own designated categories or specific sites you want to restrict. Another great feature of the app is that it categorizes webpages in real time, including brand-new websites and sites with user-generated content such as comments or posts.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

Q: What's your opinion about overnight group activities for elementary-grade children? We want our kids to have fun with their friends, but we're concerned about exposing them to inappropriate influences.

Jim: As the dad of a fifth-grader myself, I completely understand your struggle. It's a sad fact that we live in a world that is increasingly dangerous and unhealthy for our kids. As parents, we must be mindful of what our kids are exposed to when they're in someone else's care.

I realize we can't keep our children in a safe cocoon forever. Eventually they'll face external threats and temptations, and as parents, we're responsible to equip them for that challenge as early as possible. It's important to look for appropriate opportunities that will allow your kids to step out from under your immediate oversight a little bit at a time.

For us, however, we've elected to encourage our kids' growth in this area through avenues other than sleepovers. (Although we've done them in rare cases where we've known the families well.) Your situation and comfort level may be different. If so, I'd simply encourage you to exercise due diligence with every invitation. You might consider meeting with the adults responsible for supervising the overnighter. Find out where it will be held and what activities are planned. If you're well-acquainted with the person in charge, there's probably little to worry about.

If, however, this sleepover is being held in someone's private home and you're unfamiliar with the parents, I'd suggest that you meet with them beforehand to make sure that their values and perspectives are in line with your own. If this is a school- or church-sponsored event, you may discover that the teacher or leader would love to have you volunteer as a chaperone.

Q: My husband and I divorced when our now-10-year-old son was 3. He visits his dad frequently, but unfortunately gets little attention from my ex, who's now remarried and has started a new family. My son tries to be brave, but I know he must feel hurt and rejected. What can I do?

Dr. Greg Smalley, Vice President, Family Ministries: Yours is a heartbreaking situation, and my heart truly feels for you. Witnessing your son being neglected by his dad is painful, and you shouldn't dismiss or minimize your feelings -- both for you and your son's sake.

After you've acknowledged and sorted out your own emotions, it's important that you give your son the opportunity to identify and express his feelings, too. This is because children can't grasp the complex dynamics of broken relationships. They don't see things for what they are, and often assume guilt for the breakup, believing that they've done something wrong. Don't wait for your son to bring up the subject. He probably won't, especially if he's trying to be brave.

Next, try to uncover what's at the root of your ex-husband's emotional neglect of your son. It may be that he's avoiding you, his new wife is interfering, there's financial strain, etc. Whatever the reasons, he needs to understand and feel the weight his actions are having on his son. You're more likely to achieve this goal and agree to a solution if you appeal to his emotions, rather than by shaming or harassing him.

Finally, do everything you can to find a good man who can encourage and serve as a positive role model for your son. You might approach your father, someone from church, or a trusted teacher, coach or neighbor about the possibility of spending time with your boy. Your son will be sure to benefit, even if his father doesn't participate.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.