Q: What's your opinion about overnight group activities for elementary-grade children? We want our kids to have fun with their friends, but we're concerned about exposing them to inappropriate influences.

Jim: As the dad of a fifth-grader myself, I completely understand your struggle. It's a sad fact that we live in a world that is increasingly dangerous and unhealthy for our kids. As parents, we must be mindful of what our kids are exposed to when they're in someone else's care.

I realize we can't keep our children in a safe cocoon forever. Eventually they'll face external threats and temptations, and as parents, we're responsible to equip them for that challenge as early as possible. It's important to look for appropriate opportunities that will allow your kids to step out from under your immediate oversight a little bit at a time.

For us, however, we've elected to encourage our kids' growth in this area through avenues other than sleepovers. (Although we've done them in rare cases where we've known the families well.) Your situation and comfort level may be different. If so, I'd simply encourage you to exercise due diligence with every invitation. You might consider meeting with the adults responsible for supervising the overnighter. Find out where it will be held and what activities are planned. If you're well-acquainted with the person in charge, there's probably little to worry about.

If, however, this sleepover is being held in someone's private home and you're unfamiliar with the parents, I'd suggest that you meet with them beforehand to make sure that their values and perspectives are in line with your own. If this is a school- or church-sponsored event, you may discover that the teacher or leader would love to have you volunteer as a chaperone.

Q: My husband and I divorced when our now-10-year-old son was 3. He visits his dad frequently, but unfortunately gets little attention from my ex, who's now remarried and has started a new family. My son tries to be brave, but I know he must feel hurt and rejected. What can I do?

Dr. Greg Smalley, Vice President, Family Ministries: Yours is a heartbreaking situation, and my heart truly feels for you. Witnessing your son being neglected by his dad is painful, and you shouldn't dismiss or minimize your feelings -- both for you and your son's sake.

After you've acknowledged and sorted out your own emotions, it's important that you give your son the opportunity to identify and express his feelings, too. This is because children can't grasp the complex dynamics of broken relationships. They don't see things for what they are, and often assume guilt for the breakup, believing that they've done something wrong. Don't wait for your son to bring up the subject. He probably won't, especially if he's trying to be brave.

Next, try to uncover what's at the root of your ex-husband's emotional neglect of your son. It may be that he's avoiding you, his new wife is interfering, there's financial strain, etc. Whatever the reasons, he needs to understand and feel the weight his actions are having on his son. You're more likely to achieve this goal and agree to a solution if you appeal to his emotions, rather than by shaming or harassing him.

Finally, do everything you can to find a good man who can encourage and serve as a positive role model for your son. You might approach your father, someone from church, or a trusted teacher, coach or neighbor about the possibility of spending time with your boy. Your son will be sure to benefit, even if his father doesn't participate.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

Q: How can we use humor to promote a more cheerful and healthy atmosphere in our home?

Jim: That's a great question and one that reflects an understanding that humor and laughter are important elements of a happy, healthy and thriving family life. I think writer Agnes Repplier got it exactly right when she said, "We cannot really love anybody with whom we never laugh."

So how can you turn your house into a place where love and laughter flow like the Mississippi? Here are some suggestions:

-- First, don't take yourself too seriously. Perspective often escapes us, making it easy to distort the significance of things. Take a step back and try to get a sense of where you fit in the "bigger picture." And remind yourself that God alone sees your situation as it really is.

-- Second, resolve to laugh even when you don't feel like laughing. Tough times are when a good laugh is most urgent, and a bit of humor can help wash away the stress. It can also keep your marriage and family together when you're coming unglued.

-- Next, look for the humor around you. Art Linkletter famously observed that "people are funny" -- and it's true. Life is full of good comedic material, so stay on the lookout for the comic element in everyday life.

-- Also, discover what makes your spouse and children laugh. Study their individual humor styles and find ways to exploit and develop them at least once a day.

-- Finally, learn how to poke fun at one another in a lighthearted, healthy, affirming and non-derogatory way. In the right relationship and proper context, some good-natured "teasing" can actually increase feelings of intimacy among family members. Just so long as one person's "joke" doesn't become another person's raw and bleeding wound.

Question: I'm a single woman and have a mutual interest in getting to know a man who's eight years younger than I am. This feels strange because other guys I've dated have been closer to my own age. Do you think this is OK? Any advice?

Dr. Greg Smalley, Vice President, Family Ministries: It wasn't so long ago that your question would've raised eyebrows. But older women dating and marrying younger men isn't considered as culturally taboo as it once was. Like every other relationship, the most important consideration is the character of the man and woman involved. That said, it's worth mentioning some dynamics that can make these relationships unique in their challenges.

One obvious area you'll want to evaluate is his level of maturity and stability. Keep in mind that there can be a big difference if you and he are ages 26 and 18, or 34 and 26. This can be an issue, as men generally take more time to identify their purpose and place in the world; they aren't always inclined to settle down, or prepared to support a family. Watch for how he handles his finances, stress, commitments to job, church, friends, family, etc.

Equally important is the need for you to take an honest look at your motives and to be aware of possible blind spots. Women tend to be the more nurturing of the sexes, and some guys are looking for a perpetual mother. Such pairings typically have disastrous results, with the woman taking on every responsibility and eventually losing respect for and resenting the "little boy" she married who never grew up.

Feel free, then, to move ahead. But as you do, be sure to ask yourself these and other questions early on and along the way to ensure that you're both like-minded and in a similar, healthy place.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

Q: How can we help our son have a successful prom night? He's excited about this event, but I'm afraid he may also be a bit naive, both about the cost and the potential pitfalls.

Jim: The success of prom night begins long before the tux is put on. You can get things off to a good start by sitting down with your teen and talking about his thoughts. In situations like this, disappointments and letdowns are usually the result of overblown, unrealistic expectations. So do what you can to help your son put things in perspective.

Here are some other things to consider that will help make the experience a positive one for your teen and his date:

-- Discuss a budget. Life goes on after the prom. So do payments for flowers, photos, rentals, etc. Your son may be feeling pressure to make a big splash, and you can help relieve him of that burden by sitting down together and devising a plan that will be both economical and memorable.

-- Establish an itinerary. When will the evening begin and end? Where will dinner be? Who will be in the car? Who's driving? Get him to pin down all of the specifics, and have him communicate the details to his date's parents also. Feel free to verify the information with a couple of phone calls throughout the evening.

-- Have a heart-to-heart talk about sexual self-control. Your teen should commit to respecting both his body and his date's. (Young ladies in particular should be careful about what they wear. Modesty and good taste should be the rule.)

-- Provide support. Let your son know that you'll be praying for a safe and enjoyable evening. Encourage him to call "Dad's All-Night Taxi Service" should plans turn sour. Teens need to know that you'll be there for them without creating a scene.

Q: My husband quit smoking a few years ago. I just found out that he's smoking again and has been hiding it for over a year. I want to support my husband, but I'm upset over this. What should I do?

Dr. Greg Smalley, Vice President, Family Ministries: My guess is you're feeling a lot of different emotions. Before doing anything else, I'd encourage you to sort them out. You're probably frustrated that he's back at square one with his struggle, and naturally, you're upset that he's kept it from you for so long. You have a right to expect honesty in your relationship, and instead there's been a lack of transparency. While the foundation of trust may not have collapsed, it's suffered some erosion. Repairing that needs to be your focus.

Sit down with your husband for an honest conversation. Begin by expressing your disappointment for him, not in him, and assure him of your love, respect and confidence that he'll win this battle. Convincing him of this may alleviate some of the shame, which may be what led him to conceal his relapse.

Once that's been said, let him tell you his story. Has stress at work or home triggered the urge? What made him feel he couldn't share his struggles and be honest with you? After you've got a clearer picture, move into why his actions hurt you. Don't make smoking the issue. He's probably more upset about that than you. Instead let him know it's a matter of trust, and for that to exist, you need to feel he can confide in you. Ask if there are obstacles to that, and what might be done to remove those. If the obstacles seem too big or you need guidance working through this challenge, please give our counselors a call at 1-800-232-6459. They're here to help.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.