Q: How can we use humor to promote a more cheerful and healthy atmosphere in our home?

Jim: That's a great question and one that reflects an understanding that humor and laughter are important elements of a happy, healthy and thriving family life. I think writer Agnes Repplier got it exactly right when she said, "We cannot really love anybody with whom we never laugh."

So how can you turn your house into a place where love and laughter flow like the Mississippi? Here are some suggestions:

-- First, don't take yourself too seriously. Perspective often escapes us, making it easy to distort the significance of things. Take a step back and try to get a sense of where you fit in the "bigger picture." And remind yourself that God alone sees your situation as it really is.

-- Second, resolve to laugh even when you don't feel like laughing. Tough times are when a good laugh is most urgent, and a bit of humor can help wash away the stress. It can also keep your marriage and family together when you're coming unglued.

-- Next, look for the humor around you. Art Linkletter famously observed that "people are funny" -- and it's true. Life is full of good comedic material, so stay on the lookout for the comic element in everyday life.

-- Also, discover what makes your spouse and children laugh. Study their individual humor styles and find ways to exploit and develop them at least once a day.

-- Finally, learn how to poke fun at one another in a lighthearted, healthy, affirming and non-derogatory way. In the right relationship and proper context, some good-natured "teasing" can actually increase feelings of intimacy among family members. Just so long as one person's "joke" doesn't become another person's raw and bleeding wound.

Question: I'm a single woman and have a mutual interest in getting to know a man who's eight years younger than I am. This feels strange because other guys I've dated have been closer to my own age. Do you think this is OK? Any advice?

Dr. Greg Smalley, Vice President, Family Ministries: It wasn't so long ago that your question would've raised eyebrows. But older women dating and marrying younger men isn't considered as culturally taboo as it once was. Like every other relationship, the most important consideration is the character of the man and woman involved. That said, it's worth mentioning some dynamics that can make these relationships unique in their challenges.

One obvious area you'll want to evaluate is his level of maturity and stability. Keep in mind that there can be a big difference if you and he are ages 26 and 18, or 34 and 26. This can be an issue, as men generally take more time to identify their purpose and place in the world; they aren't always inclined to settle down, or prepared to support a family. Watch for how he handles his finances, stress, commitments to job, church, friends, family, etc.

Equally important is the need for you to take an honest look at your motives and to be aware of possible blind spots. Women tend to be the more nurturing of the sexes, and some guys are looking for a perpetual mother. Such pairings typically have disastrous results, with the woman taking on every responsibility and eventually losing respect for and resenting the "little boy" she married who never grew up.

Feel free, then, to move ahead. But as you do, be sure to ask yourself these and other questions early on and along the way to ensure that you're both like-minded and in a similar, healthy place.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

Q: How can we help our son have a successful prom night? He's excited about this event, but I'm afraid he may also be a bit naive, both about the cost and the potential pitfalls.

Jim: The success of prom night begins long before the tux is put on. You can get things off to a good start by sitting down with your teen and talking about his thoughts. In situations like this, disappointments and letdowns are usually the result of overblown, unrealistic expectations. So do what you can to help your son put things in perspective.

Here are some other things to consider that will help make the experience a positive one for your teen and his date:

-- Discuss a budget. Life goes on after the prom. So do payments for flowers, photos, rentals, etc. Your son may be feeling pressure to make a big splash, and you can help relieve him of that burden by sitting down together and devising a plan that will be both economical and memorable.

-- Establish an itinerary. When will the evening begin and end? Where will dinner be? Who will be in the car? Who's driving? Get him to pin down all of the specifics, and have him communicate the details to his date's parents also. Feel free to verify the information with a couple of phone calls throughout the evening.

-- Have a heart-to-heart talk about sexual self-control. Your teen should commit to respecting both his body and his date's. (Young ladies in particular should be careful about what they wear. Modesty and good taste should be the rule.)

-- Provide support. Let your son know that you'll be praying for a safe and enjoyable evening. Encourage him to call "Dad's All-Night Taxi Service" should plans turn sour. Teens need to know that you'll be there for them without creating a scene.

Q: My husband quit smoking a few years ago. I just found out that he's smoking again and has been hiding it for over a year. I want to support my husband, but I'm upset over this. What should I do?

Dr. Greg Smalley, Vice President, Family Ministries: My guess is you're feeling a lot of different emotions. Before doing anything else, I'd encourage you to sort them out. You're probably frustrated that he's back at square one with his struggle, and naturally, you're upset that he's kept it from you for so long. You have a right to expect honesty in your relationship, and instead there's been a lack of transparency. While the foundation of trust may not have collapsed, it's suffered some erosion. Repairing that needs to be your focus.

Sit down with your husband for an honest conversation. Begin by expressing your disappointment for him, not in him, and assure him of your love, respect and confidence that he'll win this battle. Convincing him of this may alleviate some of the shame, which may be what led him to conceal his relapse.

Once that's been said, let him tell you his story. Has stress at work or home triggered the urge? What made him feel he couldn't share his struggles and be honest with you? After you've got a clearer picture, move into why his actions hurt you. Don't make smoking the issue. He's probably more upset about that than you. Instead let him know it's a matter of trust, and for that to exist, you need to feel he can confide in you. Ask if there are obstacles to that, and what might be done to remove those. If the obstacles seem too big or you need guidance working through this challenge, please give our counselors a call at 1-800-232-6459. They're here to help.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

Q: We're considering taking my elderly mother into our home, rather than placing her in a nursing facility. This decision is especially difficult because we still have three children living with us. Would this new arrangement impact family dynamics?

Jim: In a big way -- and you should be prepared for blessings, as well as challenges. On the plus side, you'll have the emotional and practical support of your family as you take on the weighty task of meeting your mother's needs. There's also the potential of realizing a strong sense of family unity and cohesiveness as you share in the caregiving responsibilities.

Then there are the potential benefits for your kids as they experience firsthand the importance of sacrifice and service in the interest of others. This can become a vital part of their character growth. There's also the opportunity for them to develop a special relationship with their grandparent.

On the other side, the stability of your family will likely be affected. With these changes, your children's social lives will probably be disrupted and their personal freedom may be restricted in some ways. And you and your spouse will at times be caught in between the competing needs of your kids and your mother, while your own needs frequently take a backseat. This is what people have in mind when they talk about the "sandwich generation."

There's obviously a lot here to pray about as you consider the equally legitimate questions of your responsibility to your mom and your family's well-being. In short, there are no simple solutions to the challenges you'll face if you take her in. It will involve a delicate balancing act and place you in a position where you will have no choice except to rely on the grace and wisdom of the Lord from one moment to the next. And that's a good place to be.

Q: My teenagers often go to films that have racy content. My heart tells me that it's probably not a good thing, but I have nothing more to go on than that. Can you help?

Bob Waliszewski, Director, Plugged In: I recently received an email from a young man who explained how his struggle with lust was linked to his television and movie choices, and not surfing inappropriate Internet sites. He's not alone. Hollywood has become a super-teacher to an untold large number of young people. As Tinseltown instills its own brand of sexual "values" via motion pictures, young people are embracing what they're being taught.

This isn't simply my opinion; mounting research is saying the same thing. For instance, two RAND Corp. studies found that teens exposed to sexualized television and music were more likely to become sexually active compared to their peers who had limited exposure. Researchers at Dartmouth College had similar findings regarding the power of sexualized motion pictures.

I believe that your teenagers already have a tough fight in guarding their hearts and minds without consuming risque media. Once, after a speaking engagement, a young man came up to me to argue for a film that I had labeled as inappropriate. His view was that the "art" trumped content. My response was to completely ignore the acting and special effects. Instead, I asked him if a certain sex scene and another involving nudity had ever caused him to struggle with his thought life. To this day, I've never had an answer. The man lowered his head and walked away.

Armed with the research, which is easy to find online, I'd suggest you have a heart-to-heart talk with your teens. It's never too late to lay down safe boundaries.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.