Q: How can we help our son have a successful prom night? He's excited about this event, but I'm afraid he may also be a bit naive, both about the cost and the potential pitfalls.

Jim: The success of prom night begins long before the tux is put on. You can get things off to a good start by sitting down with your teen and talking about his thoughts. In situations like this, disappointments and letdowns are usually the result of overblown, unrealistic expectations. So do what you can to help your son put things in perspective.

Here are some other things to consider that will help make the experience a positive one for your teen and his date:

-- Discuss a budget. Life goes on after the prom. So do payments for flowers, photos, rentals, etc. Your son may be feeling pressure to make a big splash, and you can help relieve him of that burden by sitting down together and devising a plan that will be both economical and memorable.

-- Establish an itinerary. When will the evening begin and end? Where will dinner be? Who will be in the car? Who's driving? Get him to pin down all of the specifics, and have him communicate the details to his date's parents also. Feel free to verify the information with a couple of phone calls throughout the evening.

-- Have a heart-to-heart talk about sexual self-control. Your teen should commit to respecting both his body and his date's. (Young ladies in particular should be careful about what they wear. Modesty and good taste should be the rule.)

-- Provide support. Let your son know that you'll be praying for a safe and enjoyable evening. Encourage him to call "Dad's All-Night Taxi Service" should plans turn sour. Teens need to know that you'll be there for them without creating a scene.

Q: My husband quit smoking a few years ago. I just found out that he's smoking again and has been hiding it for over a year. I want to support my husband, but I'm upset over this. What should I do?

Dr. Greg Smalley, Vice President, Family Ministries: My guess is you're feeling a lot of different emotions. Before doing anything else, I'd encourage you to sort them out. You're probably frustrated that he's back at square one with his struggle, and naturally, you're upset that he's kept it from you for so long. You have a right to expect honesty in your relationship, and instead there's been a lack of transparency. While the foundation of trust may not have collapsed, it's suffered some erosion. Repairing that needs to be your focus.

Sit down with your husband for an honest conversation. Begin by expressing your disappointment for him, not in him, and assure him of your love, respect and confidence that he'll win this battle. Convincing him of this may alleviate some of the shame, which may be what led him to conceal his relapse.

Once that's been said, let him tell you his story. Has stress at work or home triggered the urge? What made him feel he couldn't share his struggles and be honest with you? After you've got a clearer picture, move into why his actions hurt you. Don't make smoking the issue. He's probably more upset about that than you. Instead let him know it's a matter of trust, and for that to exist, you need to feel he can confide in you. Ask if there are obstacles to that, and what might be done to remove those. If the obstacles seem too big or you need guidance working through this challenge, please give our counselors a call at 1-800-232-6459. They're here to help.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

Q: We're considering taking my elderly mother into our home, rather than placing her in a nursing facility. This decision is especially difficult because we still have three children living with us. Would this new arrangement impact family dynamics?

Jim: In a big way -- and you should be prepared for blessings, as well as challenges. On the plus side, you'll have the emotional and practical support of your family as you take on the weighty task of meeting your mother's needs. There's also the potential of realizing a strong sense of family unity and cohesiveness as you share in the caregiving responsibilities.

Then there are the potential benefits for your kids as they experience firsthand the importance of sacrifice and service in the interest of others. This can become a vital part of their character growth. There's also the opportunity for them to develop a special relationship with their grandparent.

On the other side, the stability of your family will likely be affected. With these changes, your children's social lives will probably be disrupted and their personal freedom may be restricted in some ways. And you and your spouse will at times be caught in between the competing needs of your kids and your mother, while your own needs frequently take a backseat. This is what people have in mind when they talk about the "sandwich generation."

There's obviously a lot here to pray about as you consider the equally legitimate questions of your responsibility to your mom and your family's well-being. In short, there are no simple solutions to the challenges you'll face if you take her in. It will involve a delicate balancing act and place you in a position where you will have no choice except to rely on the grace and wisdom of the Lord from one moment to the next. And that's a good place to be.

Q: My teenagers often go to films that have racy content. My heart tells me that it's probably not a good thing, but I have nothing more to go on than that. Can you help?

Bob Waliszewski, Director, Plugged In: I recently received an email from a young man who explained how his struggle with lust was linked to his television and movie choices, and not surfing inappropriate Internet sites. He's not alone. Hollywood has become a super-teacher to an untold large number of young people. As Tinseltown instills its own brand of sexual "values" via motion pictures, young people are embracing what they're being taught.

This isn't simply my opinion; mounting research is saying the same thing. For instance, two RAND Corp. studies found that teens exposed to sexualized television and music were more likely to become sexually active compared to their peers who had limited exposure. Researchers at Dartmouth College had similar findings regarding the power of sexualized motion pictures.

I believe that your teenagers already have a tough fight in guarding their hearts and minds without consuming risque media. Once, after a speaking engagement, a young man came up to me to argue for a film that I had labeled as inappropriate. His view was that the "art" trumped content. My response was to completely ignore the acting and special effects. Instead, I asked him if a certain sex scene and another involving nudity had ever caused him to struggle with his thought life. To this day, I've never had an answer. The man lowered his head and walked away.

Armed with the research, which is easy to find online, I'd suggest you have a heart-to-heart talk with your teens. It's never too late to lay down safe boundaries.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

Q: What's wrong with marijuana? Personally, I don't see any reason why it shouldn't be legalized.

Jim: Your viewpoint is gaining support, as evidenced by voter approval legalizing the recreational use of marijuana in Colorado and Washington. Public opinion aside, my concerns are rooted in the well-documented facts of what pot does to the person who uses it. These are just a few that have been highlighted by our Physicians Resource Council.

First, marijuana smoke is more irritating to the upper respiratory tract and contains 50 to 70 percent more cancer-provoking hydrocarbons than tobacco. Combine this with pot-smokers' tendency to inhale deeply and hold their breath while smoking, and it's easy to see why long-term marijuana users are at a high risk for chronic lung disease and for cancer of the upper respiratory tract and lungs.

Its impact on motor skills and intellectual functions is also detrimental. Frequent use can impair concentration, learning, memory and judgment -- conditions that can linger long after immediate effects of the drug have worn off. Long-term marijuana users are also known for developing a marked lack of motivation. Their personal goals and self-discipline literally go up in smoke. Other research has linked marijuana use with poor overall job performance.

Another concern is its addictive properties, which impair an individual's ability to make deep and meaningful attachments with people. This promotes isolation, which feeds the need to smoke pot, which strains more relationships, which causes increased conflict in marriage or with co-workers and friends.

Finally, pot can become a gateway drug for the user, creating pathways in the brain that invite experimentation with harder street drugs or prescription medications. Studies have shown that 90 percent of those currently using hard addictive drugs like heroin started with marijuana.

Given these facts and the damage that pot has done to people I love, there's simply no way I can support its legalization for recreational use.

Q: My husband refuses to trash old, ragged shirts. He wears them around the house and I can't stand it. So I "help" him out by making them quietly disappear. He usually doesn't notice, but recently he busted me and went looking for a particular faded relic that I'd just turned into a dust rag. Now I'm in the doghouse. Do you think what I did was really that bad?

Dr. Greg Smalley, Vice President, Family Ministries: I've laughed with lots of couples whose wives have been baffled by their husbands' inability to part with weathered wearables. It's a mystery to them that defies reason. So you can take comfort in knowing that you're in the company of some good women, including Mrs. Smalley.

That said, while the phenomenon is humorous, and the result of your actions non-catastrophic (I assume your husband's not walking around topless), there's a sense in which a foundational building block of your marriage -- respect -- may need some repair. And that may be true for both of you.

For your husband's part, he may have some legitimate reasons for wanting to keep and wear these shirts (and as a guy, I'll vouch that there are some). Regardless of your assessment, it's his stuff and his feelings, and you need to respect that. On your end, you probably have valid reasons for being bothered by his wearing these shirts.

This is a great opportunity for listening to and learning about each other. The place to start is talking about it, and this incident provides a natural springboard. My recommendation: Begin the conversation with a heartfelt apology and a desire to hear his perspective, and you should be on your way to a reasonable compromise and a new understanding of each other.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.