Q: Should I accept a "friend" request on Facebook from an old boyfriend? I'm in love with my husband and committed to him, so I feel sure that this won't pose a threat to our marriage. What do you think?

Jim: I'd suggest the first thing you should do is ask your husband what he thinks. It's important to be open and honest, and keeping secrets only undermines trust. If your marriage is strong and healthy, then it's worth protecting. You need to be careful about exposing your relationship to threats of any kind, no matter how remote they may seem.

Since your former boyfriend initiated the contact, it would probably be a good idea to ask yourself some questions about his motives. If you have any reason to suspect that his intentions are not entirely appropriate or honorable, ignore the request and move on.

If you're still feeling inclined to reconnect with this guy, you may need to consider your motives. Are you feeling compelled to revisit the past because of present discontentment? Have you been thinking about the way things "might have been" had this relationship turned out differently? This may not be the case, but it deserves some thought.

Ultimately, it's a decision that you must make together with your husband. If you choose to go ahead and accept your old flame's invitation to reconnect, I'd urge you to do so via a Facebook account that intentionally reflects the healthy nature of your marriage. Among other things, your page should be filled with images designed to remind visitors of your relationship with your husband. Photos should frequently show the two of you together as much as possible. The whole point is to represent the two of you as a unit. This will discourage your old boyfriend from making any unwarranted assumptions.

Q: My mom and my aunt had a huge argument several years ago and haven't spoken since. I'm married and I want my family to have a relationship with my aunt and cousins, but Mom says she'll disown me if I do. This is tearing me up. What can I do?

Dr. Greg Smalley, Vice President, Family Ministries: Unfortunately, I've seen families needlessly splintered because of situations like yours. Like others I've observed, your mom severs relationships when she feels hurt, upset or angry. I can't offer you any guarantees how your mom will respond, but let me suggest the best approach you can take if you want to retain your own identity and build healthy relationships.

As an adult, you need to establish appropriate boundaries with your mom -- you are separate from her. This is especially true in a situation like yours where your mom is inclined to test or cross them. Let her know that you love her and value your relationship, but that her ongoing disagreement is between her and her sister -- not you -- and that you will be pursuing a relationship with your aunt and cousins. She may object, and even accuse you of betraying her, but it's critical you stand your ground.

Once you've initiated things with your extended family, keep the focus of your relationship on you and them -- not your mother. There may be the temptation for you to be made the mediator, or for you to assume that role. But it's important for everyone involved that your mom and aunt work out their issues without interference from other family members.

In the meantime, continue to pursue your mom to the extent that she shows respect and receptivity. She may pull back at first, but it's likely the "new system" will eventually take root, and she'll come back around.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

Q: How can we make family meals a priority when we're so busy? Crazy schedules are the norm in our household. I don't get home from work until 6 p.m. and if my family waits for me to prepare a nutritious dinner, they'll starve before I can get it on the table.

Jim: Because you're a working mom with a busy family, it's impossible to serve up the kind of family dinners your great-grandmother used to. That's OK. Don't throw in the towel and admit defeat just yet. Instead, change your strategy. Approach the problem from a different angle.

Remember, shared meals don't always have to happen at dinnertime or during the busy working week. Sometimes this just isn't possible. If you can manage three family meals a week, you'll be on the right track. And you can achieve this if you're willing to stretch your plan to include weekends and other mealtimes. The idea is to compensate for your lack of time with a little creativity and ingenuity.

One way to do this is to prepare a large number of meals beforehand. Several cookbooks are available with lots of practical tips for planning and preparing meals on a monthly basis, including the "Once-A-Month Cooking" series by Mary Beth Lagerborg and Mimi Wilson. You may also want to take a look at subscription-based services such as eMeals (www.emeals.com), which offer customized meal plans, recipes and correlated shopping lists that help you focus on the relational aspect of mealtimes by taking the stress out of food preparation.

If you don't want to get involved in planning that far ahead, you may be able to simplify things just by changing your ideas about dinner. The evening meal doesn't have to be a big production. The point is to have some family time around the table.

Q: I have a co-worker who doesn't carry her share of the load. She's constantly on the phone with friends, writing personal emails and passing work off to other people. I'm so frustrated. I'd love to "squeal" on her, but that would only make me look bad. What should I do?

Dr. Greg Smalley, Vice President, Family Ministries: I applaud you for looking for constructive ways to deal with this. Too many people try to avoid conflict, but ignoring the problem only leads to an explosion of emotions down the road. And even if you're justified, losing your temper is never in your best interest.

Your first order of business is to deal with you and identify your feelings. You may feel disrespected, helpless, powerless, taken advantage of, and it's important to acknowledge this. Only after you've done this will you be ready to effectively address the problem.

Next, as hard as it may be, you need to go directly and privately to your co-worker and share your observations and concerns. Don't do this in anger, but with a humble spirit and a heart that wants to understand. Empathy can lead to greater understanding, and you may be surprised to discover some personal issues -- such as a family crisis -- that may account for the temporary poor performance.

Ideally you'll receive a reasonable explanation and a commitment to change. But if you're confronted with indifference or defiance, you'll want to involve your supervisor. Rather than go on your own, schedule a time with your boss and the two of you. Don't look to accuse or assign blame. Your goal should be to objectively share your observations, and ask for clarity on how the workload is supposed to be divvied up. This should put your co-worker on notice that you're no longer willing to enable this kind of behavior.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

Q: I've heard that you were abandoned and orphaned as a child, and that Focus on the Family is encouraging adoption through the foster care system. Can you provide my spouse and me with any guidance, or suggest any resources as we consider adopting a child?

Jim: You've heard correctly, so I'm encouraged to learn of your interest in adoption. Currently, there are approximately 100,000 kids in the United States waiting for permanent adoptive families. In each instance, parental rights have been terminated, so the only "parents" the children have are the states in which they live. For this reason, to adopt from foster care, it's necessary to work through a licensed placing agency.

After selecting an agency, individuals will need to complete an application, have a background check and undergo a home study (conducted by the agency). You can access your state's website through the link on our site at www.iCareAboutOrphans.org/StateAdoptionRequirements. This page will direct you to more specific information on adoption in your state and help answer many of your questions.

I'd also encourage you to visit our Adoption and Orphan Care Initiative website (www.iCareAboutOrphans.org) from time to time to stay current on matters related to adoption. It offers a wide range of current resources that will be of help, regardless of where you are in the adoption process. I'd also strongly recommend reading David Sanford's "Handbook on Thriving as an Adoptive Family: Real-Life Solutions to Common Challenges" (Focus on the Family, 2008). If we can be of further assistance, please contact us at orphancare@family.org or call 1-800-A-FAMILY.

Q: My 16-year-old daughter wants to get a tongue ring and a tattoo. I'm skeptical. What are your thoughts on this?

Dr. Greg Smalley, Vice President, Family Ministries: Piercings and ink are becoming more and more popular among youth and even adults. But there are some things you and your daughter need to be aware of before she takes the plunge.

When it comes to tattoos, there are health risks to consider. Complications can include local bacterial infections, allergic reactions and potential disfiguring skin reactions. More serious infections, such as hepatitis C, hepatitis B and HIV can result from tattoo needles that have been contaminated with infected blood. Plus, as time passes, many regret the tattoos they got in their younger days. Removing them is not only costly, but may leave scarring.

Piercings carry similar risks. Oral piercing carries a higher risk of infection than ear piercing, and also opens the door to dental and gum problems.

Finally, there are sexual and "subcultural" implications associated with certain tattoos and piercings. Your daughter may not intend to send overtly sexual or rebellious signals through her choices, but that doesn't mean others won't perceive them that way. Do some homework first to make sure she's not communicating anything dangerous or unnecessarily provocative. Like it or not, other people will often make assumptions about her character and personality based on her appearance. This is especially true in job interviews. So it's worth taking the time to think through the image she wants to portray.

If, after examining all the evidence, your daughter is still determined to go through with it, you have two choices. Given that this decision will have lifelong consequences, you may feel it's in her best interest to exercise your authority as parents and ask your daughter to hold off until she's 18. On the other hand, since she's considering something that is not inherently immoral or illegal, is this worth creating a potential rift between you? May God grant you wisdom in this process!

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.