Q: Is it normal to deeply grieve a miscarriage? My husband and I suffered one, and we're surprised at how devastating it's been for us.

Jim: You've just experienced a genuine loss -- a deeply meaningful loss. It would be surprising if you didn't feel as if the rug had been pulled out from under you.

When a pregnancy ends in miscarriage, a woman and her spouse usually experience a wide variety of turbulent emotions. According to mental health professionals, you may feel guilty, as if the miscarriage were somehow your fault. Your mind may default to denial and cling to the possibility that you're actually still pregnant. Depression and mood swings are common. Anger can become a mask for grief. Jealousy toward pregnant women or new mothers may be a problem, causing you to withdraw from social contacts. Eventually, you'll probably experience a combination of these symptoms, spinning through a recurring cycle of grief, shock, denial, anger, depression, detachment, and mental "bargaining" with God.

Whether they're experienced immediately or at some point later on, the emotional and physiological responses to a miscarriage are the same as those involving any significant loss. As with any loss, it's important to ride the cycle of grief out to its natural conclusion -- that of accepting the reality of the situation.

For healing to occur, you and your spouse need to give and receive permission to fully grieve. If this doesn't happen, you can get "stuck" in the denial stage, mired in a morass of depression and repressed emotions. This in turn can have a detrimental effect on your overall spiritual, emotional, and physical health. If you need help working through the cycle of grief, please don't hesitate to call our team of counselors here at Focus on the Family.

Q: I'm a woman in my twenties, raised by a single mom and who rarely saw my dad. Recently he's expressed an interest in seeing me, but when I schedule a time he always cancels. I've decided not to initiate anything further because I feel he doesn't really care for me. I love my mom, but she's insisting that I continue to pursue a relationship with him, to the point where it's created tension between us. What should I do?

Dr. Greg Smalley, Vice President, Family Ministries: I can understand some of the emotions you're feeling. You've never had a relationship with your dad and want to guard your heart from further disappointment. But this is threatening the good relationship you have with your mom. You're feeling caught in between.

Since the relationship with your mom is one you value and want to preserve, I'd start there. Talk to her and try to understand why this is such an important issue for her. The energy behind this may possibly stem from feelings of guilt over the divorce, or perhaps regrets from an unfulfilled relationship with her own father. Your goal here is to better understand your mom's feelings, but not to be controlled by them. As part of the conversation, you'll want to set clear boundaries and respectfully communicate that the relationship with your dad is a matter between him and you, and that you won't be discussing it unless you raise the subject.

As for what happens with your dad, the decision is yours. If you want a relationship with him, let him know that's your desire. If you haven't, he may be thinking it's all your mom's idea. Move slowly. Start by writing him a letter, or communicating on Skype or Facebook. And work on getting to know each other first, before airing your grievances or sharing deep emotions.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

Q: Do you have any recommendations for celebrating Valentine's Day? I'd like my daughter to be able to enjoy the experience, but I don't want to reinforce our culture's misguided ideas about romance.

Jim: You're wise to recognize that Valentine's Day has the potential to promote the wrong ideas about love. But there's no reason why you can't get beyond the glitter of cards, flowers and boxes of candy to help your child understand love's real meaning. Here are some suggestions of things you might do to encourage a proper perspective on the subject.

-- List the characteristics that distinguish true love from infatuation. Place the lists side by side and have your child decide which set of qualities she wants in her life.

-- Talk about the signs or evidence of true love: How do you know when two people really love one another? Have your child provide specific examples from relationships she respects. Discuss her reasons for feeling this way.

-- Take a critical look at television, movies, music and even greeting cards with your child, and help her discern the messages they communicate. Are they promoting infatuation or real love? Shallow feelings or genuine intimacy? Mere physical chemistry or a deep, selfless commitment to relationship? You'd be surprised what a valuable exercise this might turn out to be.

All things considered, this holiday can be a great time to help kids -- teens in particular -- consider the larger issues of love and the importance of choosing a spouse wisely. Emotions and chemistry aren't necessarily wrong -- after all, who wants a passionless marriage without any spark? But if romance is only an emotional "buzz," it's not love at all. Flowers, cards and chocolates can be wonderful expressions of affection, but it's important that kids learn to keep these things in their proper place.

Q: Is it a good idea for married couples to take separate vacations? My husband was invited to take an out-of-state trip with a friend of his. I've always thought that those times should be spent exclusively with each other.

Dr. Greg Smalley, Vice President, Family Ministries: There are actually two different questions you and your husband need to answer. The first is: Does your husband want to go, and if so, why would this be a bad thing for your relationship? The uncertainty you've expressed isn't uncommon, especially for newlyweds who often feel they've found total fulfillment in each other. But this attitude is neither healthy nor realistic. No matter how much they have in common or enjoy one another, couples need the input of and interaction with others if they are to grow together and as individuals.

The second question spouses who are considering a separate vacation should ask is: "Why do I want to go?" There are actually lots of great reasons. In your husband's case, it could be to develop a deeper, encouraging and enriching relationship with his friend. In others, one spouse may have a strong desire to travel somewhere that the other has no interest. Or it could be an opportunity to connect and bond with a child -- such as prior to the onset of adolescence.

That said, separate vacations should be an "addition," not a substitute, for time away with just the two of you. If there are tensions and difficulties in your marriage, and the desire for a vacation is merely to escape from having to deal with these issues, the time away will only lead to a greater sense of loneliness and exacerbate the problems in your relationship. Otherwise, a long weekend away with the girls, or camping with the guys is a good way to rejuvenate, grow and strengthen a healthy marriage.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

Q: Is there anything wrong with seeking support from my Facebook friends when I need to "vent" about my marriage? Sometimes I get frustrated and upset with my spouse, and feel like I need to express my feelings to someone who cares and understands.

Jim: Everyone needs to "vent" once in a while, and there's a place for it in any relationship. But that place isn't Facebook. If you air your dirty laundry in an open forum, you'll only hurt your marriage and destroy trust between you and your spouse.

Because venting is intensely personal, it should be done only with someone you trust, who understands your situation, and who has a personal interest in the emotions you're experiencing. The purpose is to get your feelings out in the open so that you can take a second look at them, view them more impersonally and evaluate them. This is an important part of the process of communicating with loved ones, setting and re-adjusting goals, and making necessary changes. But it should only be done in a private setting with a trusted confidant.

If you need to vent, take it offline. If the two of you find it difficult to communicate, locate a trained marriage counselor who can help you work through your issues. If you need to let someone else know what's going on, open your heart to a spiritual mentor, a parent, a sibling, a pastor or a close friend. Don't make yourself vulnerable with anyone but a person you know you can trust. As for your Facebook "friends," you can let them know that you need prayer without discussing any details. That's as much information as they need.

Q: I'm a single mom of a teenage son who's never been given any responsibility. He's spoiled, and it's my fault. I wanted to make things easier for him because he didn't have a dad, but I realize now that it's only made him self-centered and ill-equipped for adult life. Is it too late to turn this around?

Dr. Greg Smalley, Vice President, Family Ministries: It's never too late to require age-appropriate responsibility from a child. And with a humble approach and firm resolve, you could start seeing some immediate progress.

Begin by having an honest conversation with him. Let him know that you've been misguided in your efforts to show compassion toward him, and that you're sorry you haven't given him the opportunities he's needed to grow as a man. Sincerely apologize, ask forgiveness, and then ask him to join you in making some positive changes that will benefit both of you.

How the discussion moves from there will depend on his response. Your goal is for him to have buy-in and avoid a power-struggle. He may be cooperative and agreeable, but regardless, he should understand that his participation isn't voluntary.

Discuss what's involved in running a home. Because everything's been taken care of for him, he probably has no clue what all needs to be done. Once you've painted that picture, invite him to suggest what responsibilities he'd like to take on. Again, don't ask him "if" he could help around the house. Make a list of chores that need to get done and let him pick.

At first, you may need to work with him to provide instruction and show him what results are acceptable. It's also critical that you determine and clearly communicate what the consequences will be if chores don't get done. Accountability and consistency will be the keys to your success.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.