Q: I feel like my daughter's slipping away. I want to be a great dad, but I don't know how to connect with her now that she has reached the "tween" years.

Jim: The single most important thing you can do is spend quality time with her. This is a constant challenge for me as I try to invest in my two boys. Dr. Kevin Leman suggests that the bond fathers develop with their daughters during times of real conversation and connection can pay huge dividends.

According to Dr. Leman, during the tween years fathers need to adopt the policy of "dating" their daughters on a regular basis. Showing your daughter that she's a high priority is essential for many reasons. For one thing, it will help her seek out men who will respect her later in life. Affirming your daughter's femininity and treating her special conveys this important charge: "Honey, seek out someone who will treat you right." If you can demonstrate for your daughter what a true gentlemen is like -- someone who honors, respects and values her -- she'll be more likely to gravitate toward men like that when she begins dating.

So take your daughter out for dinner or a round of miniature golf, or something else that interests her. I know this can be tough, especially when you also need to make time for your other family members. But it's so important. The investment you make in your daughter now will impact her for the rest of her life.

Q: Can you suggest guidelines for modesty in the home? I assume it's OK for my husband and me to shower with our children and change clothes in front of them while they're still toddlers. I'm just wondering when we should stop doing that. Any ideas?

Dr. Greg Smalley, Vice President, Family Ministries: There isn't a hard and fast rule for dealing with this issue. Most pediatricians and child development experts agree that when a child begins to express a desire for privacy when naked or going to the bathroom, that's the time parents should begin to express more personal modesty. This typically occurs around the age of 3 or 4. For some kids it may be a little later.

It's also important that you begin to instill a healthy view of sexuality in your children from an early age. You should start when they're toddlers, using age-appropriate concepts and language.

For example, when a young child asks questions about where babies come from, answer their questions in a positive, straightforward manner. Deflecting the question or making an awkward reference to "the stork" won't cut it! You might say something like, "God made a special way for mommies and daddies to have babies. He uses a tiny little seed from Daddy and a tiny little egg from Mommy. The seed and the egg come together inside Mommy's tummy, and then God does a miracle and makes a new baby." This kind of explanation is typically sufficient for most kids. You don't need to go into a detailed description of human physiology.

One more thing that is bound to come up in your home, if it hasn't already: Most experts also recommend using accurate names for male and female genitalia. Cutesy names or code words can be confusing to a child, and can unintentionally lead to shame and embarrassment down the road, especially with other children.

For more guidance in this area, check out Dr. Kevin Leman and Kathy Flores Bell's book, "A Chicken's Guide to Talking Turkey With Your Kids About Sex."

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

Q: Our teenage son's girlfriend is pregnant. He's 17 and she's 16. It's difficult to admit this to anyone. What does he most need to hear from us?

Jim: We're sorry to learn of this difficult situation. Your son and his girlfriend have clearly made a serious mistake, but mistakes of this kind can be important stepping-stones to maturity and adulthood.

Our counseling team suggests that your whole family can play a role in guiding the expectant mother through this frightening new experience. She needs to be reminded of the value of the precious life she's carrying. In partnership with her parents, you can help her weigh and balance her options and determine what her personal goals ought to be at this point. She won't be able to do this without the assistance of caring, life-affirming adults.

Your son also needs your understanding. At his age, he's trying hard to become his own person. Unfortunately, his bid for independence has put him in an awkward position.

Unlike the girl, who has to deal with the realities of pregnancy, a teenage dad can find it easy to dissociate himself from the situation. Part of your role will be to see that this doesn't happen. Gently but firmly compel him to face the implications of his choices. Talk to him about the sanctity of human life. Help him think about the tremendous and awesome responsibility of bringing a child into the world. Encourage him to discuss these issues openly with his girlfriend and her parents. Urge him to explore ways in which he can take an active role in the pregnancy, the birth and the crucial decisions that lie ahead.

We'd strongly suggest that all of you seek professional counseling as you attempt to navigate these waters. Contact Focus for a free consultation and referral. May God grant you strength during this emotional time!

Q: Should I accept a "friend" request on Facebook from an old boyfriend? I'm very much in love with and committed to my husband, so I feel sure that this will not pose a threat to our marriage.

Dr. Greg Smalley, Vice President, Family Ministries: The first thing you should do is sit down and discuss this with your husband. Tell him about the "friend" request, and ask him how he feels about it. It's important to be open and honest and lay everything out on the table. Keeping secrets only undermines trust. If your marriage is as strong and healthy as you say it is, then it's worth protecting.

A recent survey of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers revealed that Facebook has been a major factor in U. S. divorces the last few years. You need to be careful about exposing your relationship to threats of any kind, no matter how remote they may seem.

Since your former boyfriend has initiated this contact, you should consider his motives. If you suspect that his intentions are not entirely appropriate or honorable, ignore the request and move on. Plus, you don't know what's going on in his life, and this might cause him to stumble.

If you're still confused, apply this basic litmus test: Would it be helpful or harmful to your marriage to re-establish a connection with this person? If you're feeling inclined to grant the request, you may need to pause and evaluate your own motives. Are you certain that you don't feel compelled to revisit the past because of present discontent? We're not suggesting that this is the case, but it's a question worth considering. In the final analysis, it's a decision that you and your husband must make together.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

Q: How do I handle conflicts with my ex-husband over parenting styles? I'm a firm believer in structure and discipline. But that goes out the window every time the kids spend a weekend with my ex, who cares nothing for rules or guidelines. What can I do about this?

Jim: Conflicts of this kind are usually the result of nonexistent communication. You may be divorced, but if you care about your kids, you owe it to them to be on the same page.

How do you find common ground? Try to be as positive and friendly as possible, and resist the temptation to criticize or blame. Don't put your ex-husband down in front of the children. Begin by affirming the good things he's doing with the kids. From there you can move on to questions like, "How do you think we can do a better job? What do our kids need most from both of us at this point? What are we doing right and what needs to change?"

If you handle it right, a conversation like this can bring out areas of mutual agreement between you and your ex. It will reveal those rules, standards and values that you share in common and that can be made to apply in both homes. By building on this foundation, you can begin to make real progress toward a genuine meeting of the minds.

And while it might seem counterintuitive, you might consider seeing a counselor with your ex-husband. An objective third party can steer you away from anger, accusation and other negative forms of communication. Later on, you can ask the counselor to sit down with you and your kids to talk about relationships, assumptions and expectations.

Q: Sometimes my wife and I talk about sensitive issues while out on a date. We seem to be so busy that the only time we can discuss our problems or concerns is when we're alone. Is this a good idea?

Dr. Greg Smalley, Vice President, Family Ministries: First of all, I want to commend you and your wife for going out on dates in the first place! For many married couples, dating falls by the wayside once children, careers and other responsibilities enter the picture. Their relationships can suffer as a result.

For this reason, I'd encourage you to do whatever it takes to protect your dates from conflict and overly "serious" discussion. Conflict can be destructive to your recreation because it intensifies emotions. As this happens, it becomes difficult to relax and enjoy each other. The conflict becomes like a red shirt in a load of white laundry -- it tends to color the entire experience. If this pattern occurs too often, your mate may lose the desire to do fun things because your dates end up turning "pink."

This isn't about avoidance, of course. You do need to set aside time to discuss the serious issues; just don't call it a "date night." It might require staying up a little later after the kids are in bed, or even getting up early once in a while. Schedule the conversation when you can provide the necessary attention it deserves.

It's worth noting that I haven't always taken my own advice on this issue. I remember scheduling a day at Disneyland with my wife, Erin, but before we even reached the park, I brought up a sensitive issue in the car that resulted in arguing and tears. Needless to say, our date was ruined. You can read all the gory details in our book, "Take the Date Night Challenge." It's full of conflict-free dating ideas for couples in your shoes!

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.