Q: We're struggling to get our children to be organized and keep their rooms clean. Do you have any tips that would help?

Jim: As the father of two boys, I know how you feel! Every parent has his or her own method of handling such challenges. It's fair to say that "discipline" isn't usually the best way to deal with a situation like this. As a matter of fact, a hard-nosed approach could prove counterproductive. You could end up transforming thoughtless irresponsibility into premeditated rebellion.

We recommend you take full advantage of "natural consequences." Use masking tape to mark off a boundary at the doors of your kids' rooms, between their personal "messyzone" and the rest of the house. Then say, "Inside the messyzone, you can do as you please. But if you want anything that's been left on the floor outside the messyzone, make sure you pick it up before bedtime. After that, it will be confiscated and placed in quarantine until you have enough money to buy it back. The going price is $1."

If nothing else, this is a good way to reduce clutter in the house. It can also provide you with a handy fund for a family pizza night. The mess inside their rooms will likely disappear when they get tired of it and when they realize you're not going to hound them into doing the job.

If these strategies don't work, consider whether there might be something more serious going on. Our counseling team notes that there can be physical or emotional causes, such as attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), for a child's inability to follow through on simple tasks. In that case, you should see a family counselor who is trained to diagnose and deal with such conditions.

More than likely, your kids are just being kids. Best wishes as you help them take responsibility for keeping their rooms presentable!

Q: How can I find age-appropriate movies for my teens? So many movies are not family-friendly, and the current movie ratings can be misleading.

Bob Waliszsewski, director of Plugged In: I'm glad you asked! And I feel your pain. Here at Focus on the Family, we often hear from parents who feel "sucker punched" when they take their kids to a PG or PG-13 film, only to encounter content that is entirely inappropriate.

That's why nearly 15 years ago we began offering content-oriented reviews online. We believed (and still do) that parents needed more than MPAA ratings. They needed to know for themselves what's actually in a film, so they could make wise choices for their children. As such, our Plugged In website (www.pluggedin.com) can be your one-stop destination for anything playing at your local theater. Each review contains information about a film's overall themes and messages, as well as details about sexuality, crude language, violence, drugs and alcohol. There's also an archive of past reviews of movies that are now on DVD or streaming online. We offer similar evaluations of music, TV shows and video games.

From our website you can also access our blog, Facebook page, podcasts (available via iTunes) and other great tools. My favorite is the Plugged In app for iPhone or Android, which offers the same analysis in the palm of your hand.

I know it sounds like we're tooting our own horn here, but we're convinced this is an essential service for families. Your time and money are limited. Why waste them by attending a movie that ends up assaulting your senses with inappropriate content? We won't tell you whether to go or not (thankfully!), but Plugged In will equip you with the information you need to avoid those pitfalls.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

Q: How can I stop my child from swearing? I've confronted him about this several times. But the problem only gets worse. What can I do?

Jim: Assuming you don't swear at home yourself, there are many places where he could have picked up this bad habit. The most likely culprits are the media and school. Although you can't shield him from every negative influence, it's important that you regulate his media habits and oversee his social interactions.

Also, our counseling team recommends that you consider his motivations. Why is he using these words, especially in your presence? Is it a symptom of rebellion? An expression of anger? A reaction to feelings of rejection? In that case, it might be wise to ignore the language for a moment and deal with the deeper emotions. Ask him some strategic questions about school, his social life and how he feels about his relationship with you.

Eventually you'll want to make the point that profane language is inappropriate in polite society. (This can be a tough case to make -- sadly, many U.S. presidents have been caught using swear words.) Make it clear that he's expected to clean up his language as long as he's in your home. If he refuses to cooperate, apply appropriate consequences -- for example, the loss of television, computer or video game privileges for a period of time.

Q: My wife and I have wronged each other in many ways over the years. Affairs, lies, you name it. We've forgiven each other and committed to rebuilding our marriage. But how can we restore trust?

Dr. Greg Smalley, executive director of Marriage and Family Formation: First, congratulations on your determination to fight for your marriage. That's an encouraging sign!

When it comes to rebuilding trust, be wary of cliches and pat answers that promise quick solutions. It's taken many years to build the wall of suspicion that now stands at the heart of your relationship. You can't expect to tear it down in a single day. Restoring trust takes time.

This is especially true when the offenses in question were unusually hurtful or if they've been repeated numerous times. When a person has been wounded, it's difficult to trust again unless they can see tangible evidence that things are going to be different in the future. Here are some things that you and your wife need to look for as you seek to rebuild trust:

1) Take personal responsibility for the damage done without shifting blame or adopting evasive tactics.

2) Focus on empathy. Trust is hard to rebuild until your spouse knows that you really "get it" -- that you deeply understand the hurt and pain you've caused. Sympathy is when you feel bad "for" your spouse, but empathy is when you feel bad "with" your spouse. Invite your wife to share how your behavior made her feel, and vice versa. Empathy says, "I accept responsibility for my actions, but more importantly, I care that I hurt you."

3) Come up with a precise and definitive plan designed to prevent further offenses.

4) Commit to seeking counseling. This would include an active resolve to sort through all problematic issues and to make all the necessary changes.

5) Demonstrate patience and forbearance in allowing both of you the time necessary to heal from the hurts you've endured without undue pressure.

When it comes to point No. 4, I hope you'll call Focus for a free consultation with one of our counselors, who can also refer you to a qualified marriage counselor in your area. May God bless you as you seek to restore your marriage.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

Q: Our son won't do his homework! He's smart and capable; he'd just rather play or watch TV. I don't want to see him fall behind in school, so I have to monitor him at every step. What can I do?

Jim: It's hard to say for certain without knowing all the details (such as his age), but this sounds like it might be an opportune time for what Dr. Kevin Leman calls "reality discipline."

This method is less exhausting and more successful than ranting, raving, blaming, pleading, begging or threatening. It helps children learn to think for themselves and to become more responsible through guidance and action-oriented techniques. Dr. Leman says, "Action-oriented discipline is based on the reality that there are times when you have to pull the rug out and let the little buzzards tumble. I mean disciplining your children in such a way that he/she accepts responsibility and learns accountability for his actions."

When it comes to your son and his homework, we'd suggest that you stop "monitoring him at every step." Let him see what happens when he turns in an assignment late, or fails to turn it in at all. He needs to discover that his actions, or in this case, inactions, have consequences. And he needs to understand that you will not always bail him out when he fails to take responsibility.

Your desire to see him not fall behind in school is admirable, but again, you're not doing him any favors by making his homework your burden. A few missed assignments will not doom him for life. In fact, they very well may be just the motivation he needs to start doing his homework.

Q: Our daughter is out of control with her lying. It isn't just big things; she lies about everything. We have taken privileges away and disciplined her, and nothing seems to help. Why does she do this? And is there something we can do to help her understand the deceit behind the lying?

Leon Wirth, executive director of Parenting and Youth: Virtually every child lies at some point, but some seem to make an art out of it. We're sorry for the stress this has placed on your family.

First, it's important to note that preschool-age children do not fully comprehend the difference between lies and the truth. Parents with young kids need to be sure they understand this difference before lowering the boom.

It sounds like your daughter is old enough to know what she's doing, however. The question you need to ask is, "Why?" Is she lying to avoid unpleasant consequences or to gain an advantage of some sort? Or is she using lying as a means of getting your attention? Dishonesty is never justified, but sit down with her and see if you can ascertain what might be at the root of her behavior. Make sure she understands that it's important for her to always tell you the truth, even when it hurts her to do so.

You mentioned that taking privileges away hasn't helped. But maybe you just need to find out what's important to her. There's no value in barring her from the TV if she's not really that invested in watching TV. When determining consequences for misbehavior, it's important to identify those things that will truly motivate a child to do better.

Finally, be aware of the example you're setting in this regard. The best way to teach honesty is to be honest. If you find yourself taking liberties with the truth, you'll have little authority in preventing your daughter from doing the same.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.