Q: I lost my arm in a heavy equipment accident recently. I'm not dealing well with it, and I'm concerned about the major adjustments this means not only for me, but also for my family.

Jim: We're so sorry to learn of your injury. You're right: This will mean adjustments for you and your family. But that doesn't mean you can't live life to the fullest.

Our counseling team recommends six things you can do as you learn to live with your "new normal":

-- Educate yourself about your condition.

-- Recognize your limits and learn to say "no."

-- Accept help from others.

-- Build fun into your life.

-- Focus your physical and emotional resources on those things that matter most.

-- Share your gifts and talents with others.

In addition, marriage and family therapist Deborah B. Dunn recommends that married couples facing an injury of this nature find a third party outside of the family who is supportive and encouraging and who can help them process the event. She also recommends being honest with children about the realities of the injury. There's no need to be graphic, but don't try to sugarcoat what has happened.

There are several organizations that can offer you additional encouragement and resources. These include Rest Ministries, Joni and Friends, and Endurance With Jan and Dave Dravecky. In addition, if you think it would be helpful, feel free to contact Focus on the Family for a free consultation with one of our licensed counselors and a referral to a counselor in your area. God bless you and your family!

Q: My husband works hard, and I appreciate that, but he doesn't help out at home. I'm physically and emotionally exhausted, and the situation feels unfair (to me and to the children). How can I get him to understand the importance of helping me and of spending time with the kids?

Dr. Greg Smalley, executive director of Marriage and Family Formation: In my years of marriage counseling, I've discovered that emotional word pictures can be powerful tools for getting your message across. An emotional word picture involves using either an object or a story to express your feelings. This simultaneously activates a person's emotions and intellect -- it's a fancy name for an analogy or parable. The key to crafting a potent word picture is identifying things your husband is interested in.

It sounds like you want to communicate several things to him: 1) the importance of helping you with housework, 2) the importance of spending time with the kids, 3) that you feel the situation is "unfair" and 4) that you feel "exhausted."

For the sake of illustration, let's assume that the most pressing issue is the need for him to understand the importance of helping around the house. And again, for illustration, let's say he's interested in fighter planes.

You could say something like this: "Managing the housework makes me feel like I'm a fighter pilot whose jet has been riddled with bullets and can barely fly. But to win the war, we really need my jet flying at full strength. When you help me with the kids and the housework, I feel like you're a dedicated ground crew, working overtime to bring me back to full strength and getting me ready to soar into battle again. It makes me feel like we're a team and that you value me enough to help me recover from battle. I need my excellent ground crew because I can't fight without you."

Of course, your illustration may be different depending on your husband's interests. It may seem far-fetched, but I've seen it work time and again -- emotional word pictures can help get your message across!

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

Q: Our teenage son is extremely intelligent. The problem is he only wants to play video games all day and night when he's home. It's a struggle to get him to do any physical activities or even just read a book. How can I encourage him to do other things without completely taking his video games away?

Jim: You're not alone. A study by the Kaiser Family Foundation revealed that kids aged 8 to 18 now spend more than seven and a half hours every day using electronic gadgets, including game consoles!

It's time to go beyond "encouraging him to do other things" and actually set some limits. Sit down with him and explain your concerns in clear language. Tell him you feel things have gotten out of hand and that you're going to start limiting the amount of time he spends gaming.

Point out that it's important to live a balanced life that includes interests outside of video games -- things like reading, spending time with friends, playing sports or enjoying the outdoors. Say that you won't allow any video games until homework and chores are complete.

Then be sure to follow through! Don't back down in the face of whining and complaining. At worst, you might need to get rid of the game console for a time. Most parents who stay strong in this battle find that their teens eventually discover that there's more to life than pixels on a screen.

We have implemented this plan with our own two boys, ages 10 and 12. We also use an "earn to play" system. Both approaches have worked well for us.

Q: I'm a single father, and I'm having a hard time juggling work, home, school and my children. I want to be the best I can be for them. Do you have any advice for single dads in these types of situations?

Leon Wirth, executive director of Parenting and Youth: My heart goes out to you. We often read about the plight of single moms, and rightly so, but your situation is no less challenging.

To encourage you, here's an excerpt from an article that another single dad, Don Barlow, wrote for Focus on the Family:

"In January 1987, my wife of 12 years died from pancreatic cancer. This left me with the responsibility of raising my 8-year-old daughter alone. After the shock of my wife's death, I became aware that I knew nothing about raising a daughter by myself ...

"When she was in elementary school, I became a 'Room Father.' (When it was my turn to bring cookies, I could buy the dough in rolls, cut it into individual cookies and bake them.) I helped coach her softball team. I encouraged her involvement in church activities, so she would be spiritually grounded. I enrolled her in charm school and we joined ballroom dancing classes together ...

"I tried to be involved by balancing work and family. I passed up a job at a local university because of the position's frequent out-of-state travel ...

"My daughter is 23 years old now. Like any parent, I didn't know it would turn out OK, until it did. It boiled down to this: Ultimately, the best gift I could give my daughter was my time, my love and my encouragement."

You're probably thinking, "That's easier said than done," and you're right! You're going to need all the prayer and support you can get as you tackle the challenges of being a single dad. But take courage in the fact that investing time, love and encouragement in your kids will reap huge benefits.

For more insights, check out the Dad Matters blog at www.focusonthefamily.com/dadmatters.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

Q: I have been dating my boyfriend for almost a year, and our relationship is going very well. The issue is with his mom. She is very controlling; it's "her way or the highway." We've talked about getting married in the future, and we don't want her controlling our marriage. How can we confront her in a loving way?

Jim: You're absolutely correct. You don't want your mother-in-law controlling your marriage! And while it might be tempting to give her the benefit of the doubt and believe that she'll back off once you actually tie the knot, based on what you've described, that doesn't seem likely.

Our counseling team has dealt with this question in the past and suggests that it is your boyfriend's responsibility to take the lead on this issue. If he's afraid to confront her or simply doesn't want to rock the boat, we suggest that you make a date with him and then patiently explain that you can no longer tolerate his mom's attempts to control your relationship. Then work on setting some firm boundaries for her.

Once you're on the same page, the two of you should sit down with his mom and share your concerns. Your boyfriend should take the lead in this conversation. He should make it clear -- as lovingly and gently as possible -- that you are adults and that you expect to be treated as such. Hopefully, she will see the error of her ways and learn to loosen up a bit.

As a part of this process, you might also want to read "Boundaries" (Zondervan, 2002), an excellent book by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend. It contains a wealth of helpful material for setting healthy boundaries in a variety of relationships.

Q: My husband left me six months ago. He said he just couldn't be married any longer. I have tried many times to reconcile with him, but he is unwilling to go to counseling or to even try to work on the marriage. I don't want to get a divorce. I am willing to try anything to rebuild our marriage. Do you know of any programs or resources that would help us?

Dr. Greg Smalley, executive director of Marriage and Family Formation: I'm very sorry to learn of the difficult state of your marriage. There are programs that can help, such as intensive couples' counseling, but your husband needs to be willing to attend. Until he's open to doing so, and until he desires to work on the marriage, your options are limited. If you've been continuously urging him to attend counseling for the past six months or more, it's time to give him some space. Just a little bit of breathing room may help him make the decision for himself. You can't make it for him.

In the meantime, consider working on your own heart. I don't know the details of your separation, but in general, when a separation or divorce occurs, it's easy to focus on the other person's issues rather than confronting our own.

In other words, your husband's refusal to take part in counseling shouldn't prevent you from pursuing counseling on your own. You might consider seeking out a support group in your church that could help you grapple with this difficult period in your marriage. Talking one-on-one with a counselor may also be helpful to you as you hope and pray for the day when your husband decides to work on the marriage. Contact Focus on the Family for a referral. God bless you.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.