Q: I'm in my mid-30s and have never been married. I have been dating a man for the last few months. I have polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) and cannot have children. At what point in our dating relationship should I share that kind of information? It is a very emotional situation for me. Thank you for your advice.

Jim: First, I'm sorry to learn of your inability to conceive. At Focus we often hear from women who have struggled with infertility in various forms, and we know how difficult it can be.

I ran your question by our counseling team, and as for when to reveal this information to your boyfriend, the consensus was clear -- the sooner the better. If you're in your 30s and have been dating several months, I'd be surprised if the subject of marriage hasn't been raised already. Although it may be painful to talk about, this is the type of information your boyfriend needs to know. It establishes and open and honest relationship, too.

Although the desire for children is an important consideration for couples considering marriage, it doesn't have to be a deal breaker. There are a number of other important factors for each of you to consider during this phase of dating, including one another's character, families of origin, and so on.

Also, it's important to remember that NO married couple is guaranteed biological children. It just doesn't happen for some people, despite their strong desire to have kids. But couples who are deeply committed can weather the storm of infertility and look into other options, especially adoption. May God bless you and your boyfriend as you work through these questions together.

Q: I am single and having a hard time finding someone in my age range -- 25-35 -- that wants to have a loving, committed relationship. It seems that most men I date just want to date casually. Eventually I would like to get married and have a family. Do you have some advice for me?

Lisa Anderson, manager of young adults: Your question reminds me of that song by the Supremes, "You don't really love me, you just keep me hanging on." You're absolutely right that there are many single men out there who are suffering from some form of Peter Pan syndrome ... they refuse to grow up, to commit, to be men. Probably hundreds of books -- some of them helpful, some not -- have been written on this phenomenon, and there is reliable social science data to back it up.

Be that as it may, it would be a mistake to stereotype all men this way. There are still some good guys out there. Rather than resorting to the "men are pigs" mentality, I'd encourage you to maximize this season of singleness.

Suzanne Hadley Gosselin, one of our bloggers at boundless.org, has written on this subject. (She's now happily married, but it took a while!) She recommends developing and deepening your own character traits while single, including contentment, perseverance, humility and spirituality. In her own words, "Getting married and staying married isn't easy, but solid character is a good foundation for both."

You should also find friends you trust who can be on the lookout for solid, healthy matches for you. Those who know us and love us are the best matchmakers, and they can be good gatekeepers to keep out the riffraff!

Finally, check out boundless.org for the wealth of great content it offers young men and women in your position -- and mine. The bottom line is that the desire for marriage is natural and good, but singleness doesn't have to be a death sentence in the meantime.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

Q: I want to do something special for my wife for Valentine's Day beyond the usual dinner and flowers, but I'm at a loss. Do you have any ideas?

Jim: Don't underestimate the power of dinner and flowers! Many wives would love to be shown that much attention on Valentine's Day. Just be sure that she knows your gift comes from the heart, and is not just a holiday obligation.

You also might consider turning a Valentine's Day date into the gift that keeps on giving. Focus on the Family's resident marriage expert, Dr. Greg Smalley (a frequent contributor to this column), has cited a wealth of research showing that married couples who engage in regular date nights enjoy a stronger bond. Maybe this year, Valentine's Day could signal the start of a commitment to begin intentionally dating your wife on a regular basis.

Certainly, with careers, kids and other obligations, it can be tough to find the time for regular date nights. But the benefits of making it happen are well documented. Many couples have committed to going on a date at least once a month for a year. I'm guessing a commitment of this nature is a present your wife would appreciate even more than chocolates or flowers. For more information, go to www.focusonthefamily.com/datenight.

Q: My husband and I both used drugs before we were married. We were able to conquer our habit together several years ago. Recently, he confessed that he has been using recreational drugs on occasion to deal with stress and depression. Because he has kept this from me and because he is using again, it has put a huge strain on our marriage. I am becoming very angry and don't know how to help my husband or deal with my emotions. What should we do?

Dr. Greg Smalley, executive director of Marriage and Family Formation: We're sorry to learn of your husband's relapse. Obviously, there are two critical factors to consider here: 1) the drug use itself and 2) the damage his behavior has done to your marital relationship.

When it comes to the drug use, your husband needs to enroll in a treatment program immediately. I take it as a good sign that he confessed his behavior to you, rather than you "catching him in the act." This suggests that he feels remorse for his decisions and, hopefully, wants to seek help. We would recommend a comprehensive treatment program called Thriving: Recover Your Life (www.thrivingrecovery.org).

It's also critical that you and your husband work together to address the fallout in your marriage as a result of broken trust. All too often, once a problem is exposed and the negative activity has been brought to a halt -- whether it be drug use, adultery, gambling or something else -- many people tell themselves that all is well. But in reality, very little healing can occur unless the root issues behind your husband's drug use are found and treated. A paradigm shift has to take place at the heart of your marriage. Without that shift, you can become hopelessly trapped in an ongoing pattern of grief, anger or depression.

Here again, it's important that you and your husband enlist outside help. You need to find a qualified marriage counselor who can help you both work together to build trust. Seeking counseling isn't an admission of defeat; rather, it's a bold proclamation that you're both willing to do whatever it takes to heal and to help your marriage thrive. Contact Focus on the Family for a free consultation with a counselor, as well as a referral to qualified professionals in your area.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

Q: I'm a single mother of two teenagers. This past year, I have been struggling financially. I am working full-time and part-time jobs and can barely make my monthly expenses. My sons have birthdays coming up, but I just can't see how I can afford the things on their wish lists. How can I help them have happy birthdays this year without all the presents?

Jim: There's no doubt about it: Times are tough. Your question moves me because it reminds me of my own mom. Like you, she was single, and she had to sacrifice and scrape just to put food on the table for me and my four siblings.

When it comes to their impending birthdays, I'd recommend sitting your sons down and explaining the situation honestly. Let them know that there just isn't money in the budget for big-ticket items this year. Offer some budget-friendly alternatives. They're old enough to not have the same sense of entitlement that a toddler would have. Your love for them and your desire to give them a happy birthday will likely mean more than any present.

In the long term, Brenda Armstrong, president of Mercy Tree, a ministry to single parents, offers some solid advice for those in your situation:

-- Set goals. Write down everything relating to your finances, from income and spending to debts, and create a plan for achieving them. When a child asks about an unplanned purchase, say, "It's not that we don't have enough money, it's that the item doesn't fit with our goals right now."

-- Involve your kids in creative ways to save money. Sell unneeded stuff on eBay, have a movie night at home and so on.

-- Get out of debt. If at all possible, get rid of credit cards.

-- Find support. Network with other single parents in your church or workplace.

For more, check out Brenda's book "Financial Relief for Single Parents: A Proven Plan for Achieving the Seemingly Impossible."

Q: Our 9-year-old grandson is a great boy, but has a problem with anger. He begins to wrestle in fun with his siblings and then something triggers in him and he becomes extremely angry. As he gets older, it seems to get worse. Is there something you would recommend to help him control his anger?

Leon Wirth, executive director of Parenting and Youth: It's encouraging see grandparents so interested in their grandkids' character development. Your grandson's mom and dad bear the primary responsibility for helping him manage his anger, but there are steps you can take as well.

Author Lynne Thompson has written about "Anger Busters for Kids." See if you can incorporate some of the following suggestions into your interactions with your grandson:

-- Model anger management. Don't respond to his angry outbursts with angry outbursts of your own.

-- Show respect. Don't participate by calling names or getting physical.

-- Give him words to express his anger, such as, "I know you are disappointed ... or sad ... or frustrated."

-- Identify with his pain: "I remember when I didn't get to go to a party ..."

-- Set positive limits. Instead of saying, "Don't you throw that toy," say, "After you put the toy on the table, we can go have a snack."

-- Redirect energy bursts that often come with anger. Encourage positive outlets like running, jumping or painting.

-- Avoid power struggles. If your goal is to control, you will teach him to control others.

-- Provide a cooling-off period by reading a book together or going on a walk. Then calmly discuss what happened and make a plan for next time.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.