Q: I'm a single mother of two teenagers. This past year, I have been struggling financially. I am working full-time and part-time jobs and can barely make my monthly expenses. My sons have birthdays coming up, but I just can't see how I can afford the things on their wish lists. How can I help them have happy birthdays this year without all the presents?

Jim: There's no doubt about it: Times are tough. Your question moves me because it reminds me of my own mom. Like you, she was single, and she had to sacrifice and scrape just to put food on the table for me and my four siblings.

When it comes to their impending birthdays, I'd recommend sitting your sons down and explaining the situation honestly. Let them know that there just isn't money in the budget for big-ticket items this year. Offer some budget-friendly alternatives. They're old enough to not have the same sense of entitlement that a toddler would have. Your love for them and your desire to give them a happy birthday will likely mean more than any present.

In the long term, Brenda Armstrong, president of Mercy Tree, a ministry to single parents, offers some solid advice for those in your situation:

-- Set goals. Write down everything relating to your finances, from income and spending to debts, and create a plan for achieving them. When a child asks about an unplanned purchase, say, "It's not that we don't have enough money, it's that the item doesn't fit with our goals right now."

-- Involve your kids in creative ways to save money. Sell unneeded stuff on eBay, have a movie night at home and so on.

-- Get out of debt. If at all possible, get rid of credit cards.

-- Find support. Network with other single parents in your church or workplace.

For more, check out Brenda's book "Financial Relief for Single Parents: A Proven Plan for Achieving the Seemingly Impossible."

Q: Our 9-year-old grandson is a great boy, but has a problem with anger. He begins to wrestle in fun with his siblings and then something triggers in him and he becomes extremely angry. As he gets older, it seems to get worse. Is there something you would recommend to help him control his anger?

Leon Wirth, executive director of Parenting and Youth: It's encouraging see grandparents so interested in their grandkids' character development. Your grandson's mom and dad bear the primary responsibility for helping him manage his anger, but there are steps you can take as well.

Author Lynne Thompson has written about "Anger Busters for Kids." See if you can incorporate some of the following suggestions into your interactions with your grandson:

-- Model anger management. Don't respond to his angry outbursts with angry outbursts of your own.

-- Show respect. Don't participate by calling names or getting physical.

-- Give him words to express his anger, such as, "I know you are disappointed ... or sad ... or frustrated."

-- Identify with his pain: "I remember when I didn't get to go to a party ..."

-- Set positive limits. Instead of saying, "Don't you throw that toy," say, "After you put the toy on the table, we can go have a snack."

-- Redirect energy bursts that often come with anger. Encourage positive outlets like running, jumping or painting.

-- Avoid power struggles. If your goal is to control, you will teach him to control others.

-- Provide a cooling-off period by reading a book together or going on a walk. Then calmly discuss what happened and make a plan for next time.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

Q: We are the parents of two teens and we have Internet filters for our home computers. My concern is that our teenagers are now using iPods to access the Internet. Is there anything we can do to protect them from the things they should not be accessing on these types of devices?

Jim: With technology advancing so rapidly, it's tough to keep tabs on your kids' online activity. And you're right -- most kids consume online content through their mobile devices now. The idea of using the home computer to go online is so 2005!

Focus on the Family has partnered with Net Nanny to provide Internet filtering options for parents. In addition to offering filtering software for Windows and Mac users, Net Nanny offers filtering software for Android devices, including the Kindle Fire. Filtering software for iOS devices (such as the iPhone, iPad, iPod Touch, etc.) is currently in development, as well. For more information, go to www.focusonthefamily.com/netnanny. You can also find additional information on our Family Safety Resources page at www.focusonthefamily.com/safety. Best wishes to you as you endeavor to keep your kids safe on the digital frontier!

Q: We just found out that our 10-year-old daughter has attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. She started taking medication after being evaluated by her doctor. I have noticed she is more focused on her work and is doing better in school, but her attitude is more negative and she isn't as happy as before. How can we help her have a more positive attitude and be happier?

Leon Wirth, executive director of Parenting and Youth: It's possible that her mood swings are the result of the medication. If the behavior continues, you should consult with your doctor and ask whether your daughter's prescription might be the issue and what the best course of action would be.

There are also some practical steps you can take to help your daughter deal with the emotional challenges of her ADHD. Here are a few, adapted from Dr. Domeena C. Renshaw's book "The Hyperactive Child:"

-- Be consistent in rules and discipline.

-- Keep your own voice quiet and slow. Anger is normal. Anger can be controlled. Anger does not mean you do not love your child.

-- Try to keep your emotions cool by bracing for expected turmoil. Recognize and respond to any positive behavior, however small.

-- Avoid using ceaselessly negative words like "stop," "don't" and "no."

-- Do one thing at a time. Multiple stimuli will prevent her from focusing on her primary task.

-- If angry outbursts are a problem, learn to read her pre-explosive warning signals. Quietly intervene to avoid explosions by distracting her or discussing the conflict calmly.

-- Share your successful tips with her teacher. Strategies for helping your hyperactive child are as important to her as diet and insulin are to a diabetic child.

As you have undoubtedly discovered, successful management of ADHD involves a range of options. So first and foremost, after the diagnosis, you must have education. People living with ADHD are usually greatly relieved to learn that they have an identifiable, treatable condition. They are gratified (as are their parents) to learn that they've done nothing wrong. This condition is not caused; you are born with it. It's part of your design and makeup.

For additional guidance, you may want to contact Children and Adults With Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder, or CHADD (www.chadd.org), an organization that provides a wealth of evidence-based and trustworthy information for families in your situation. Also, you may want to look for two books: "The Hyperactive Child" by Renshaw (mentioned above) and "Why A.D.H.D. Doesn't Mean Disaster" by Dennis Swanberg, Diane Passno and Walter L. Larimore, M.D. (Both are out of print, but should be easily found on the secondary market.)

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

Q: We have a friend who just returned home from Afghanistan. He's finding it very hard to transition to life at home again. How can we help him?

Jim: It can be incredibly difficult for service members to transition from deployment back to the home front. Your concern for his well-being is admirable.

Author Erin Prater has written extensively about the challenges service members face after deployment. According to her, normal reactions during the first six to eight weeks after a soldier's return can include irregular sleeping patterns, anger, appetite and weight change, susceptibility to illness, frustration, fatigue, restlessness, hypervigilance, insecurity, anxiety, crying spells, memory lapses, inability to trust, flashbacks and more.

Prater suggests that service members' spouses can help them through this process by encouraging them to get ample healthy food, rest and exercise, find time for hobbies, avoid the use of illegal substances or excessive alcohol, spend time with friends and family, and if necessary, seek professional help.

You didn't mention whether your friend is married, but to the extent you're able, you can play a role in helping him readjust, too. Be willing to spend time with him in a quiet setting, without pressuring him to talk about his experiences unless it is his desire to do so. Yet give him openings and permission to do so if he wishes. Talking things out can be very helpful.

Finally, Prater says that if these symptoms extend beyond eight weeks, or if they're accompanied by suicidal thoughts, violent behavior and so on, medical and psychiatric intervention may be necessary. Watch for the warning signs, and be willing to come alongside your friend in the same way you would reach out to anyone who has experienced trauma.

Q: My wife and I have been married for 30 years, but we are struggling. We've been under a lot of stress over the last year due to finances, and I've been unable to find a job. What can I do to show her that I love her and want to make our marriage work? I feel like she has given up hope in our relationship and situation.

Dr. Greg Smalley, executive director of marriage and family formation: I'm sorry to learn of your predicament. As you've discovered, unemployment can present formidable challenges to your marriage.

When it comes to finding gainful employment, it may be time for drastic measures. Even if you find a job that seems menial and unfulfilling, it might be necessary to take it for the time being. Also, consider the possibility of relocating. If you have to move, you can look at it as a fresh start and an opportunity for you and your wife to nurture your relationship away from the demands of family and friends.

Indeed, the damage to your marital relationship is of even more pressing concern than your unemployment. You may not feel like it, but go out of your way to have fun and keep things "light" -- it's crucial to keep up your morale while waiting for circumstances to improve. A cheerful, positive attitude will go a long way in a situation like this.

Also, although you may not feel like your finances can handle it right now, I urge you and your wife to seek counseling. You can start with a free consultation with a member of our counseling team here at Focus on the Family, who will also be able to refer you to a qualified professional in your area. Losing a job is hard, but don't let it rob you of the gift of your marriage. If you and your wife are to weather this storm, you need to be on the same team.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.