Q: We have a friend who just returned home from Afghanistan. He's finding it very hard to transition to life at home again. How can we help him?

Jim: It can be incredibly difficult for service members to transition from deployment back to the home front. Your concern for his well-being is admirable.

Author Erin Prater has written extensively about the challenges service members face after deployment. According to her, normal reactions during the first six to eight weeks after a soldier's return can include irregular sleeping patterns, anger, appetite and weight change, susceptibility to illness, frustration, fatigue, restlessness, hypervigilance, insecurity, anxiety, crying spells, memory lapses, inability to trust, flashbacks and more.

Prater suggests that service members' spouses can help them through this process by encouraging them to get ample healthy food, rest and exercise, find time for hobbies, avoid the use of illegal substances or excessive alcohol, spend time with friends and family, and if necessary, seek professional help.

You didn't mention whether your friend is married, but to the extent you're able, you can play a role in helping him readjust, too. Be willing to spend time with him in a quiet setting, without pressuring him to talk about his experiences unless it is his desire to do so. Yet give him openings and permission to do so if he wishes. Talking things out can be very helpful.

Finally, Prater says that if these symptoms extend beyond eight weeks, or if they're accompanied by suicidal thoughts, violent behavior and so on, medical and psychiatric intervention may be necessary. Watch for the warning signs, and be willing to come alongside your friend in the same way you would reach out to anyone who has experienced trauma.

Q: My wife and I have been married for 30 years, but we are struggling. We've been under a lot of stress over the last year due to finances, and I've been unable to find a job. What can I do to show her that I love her and want to make our marriage work? I feel like she has given up hope in our relationship and situation.

Dr. Greg Smalley, executive director of marriage and family formation: I'm sorry to learn of your predicament. As you've discovered, unemployment can present formidable challenges to your marriage.

When it comes to finding gainful employment, it may be time for drastic measures. Even if you find a job that seems menial and unfulfilling, it might be necessary to take it for the time being. Also, consider the possibility of relocating. If you have to move, you can look at it as a fresh start and an opportunity for you and your wife to nurture your relationship away from the demands of family and friends.

Indeed, the damage to your marital relationship is of even more pressing concern than your unemployment. You may not feel like it, but go out of your way to have fun and keep things "light" -- it's crucial to keep up your morale while waiting for circumstances to improve. A cheerful, positive attitude will go a long way in a situation like this.

Also, although you may not feel like your finances can handle it right now, I urge you and your wife to seek counseling. You can start with a free consultation with a member of our counseling team here at Focus on the Family, who will also be able to refer you to a qualified professional in your area. Losing a job is hard, but don't let it rob you of the gift of your marriage. If you and your wife are to weather this storm, you need to be on the same team.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

Q: Can you recommend some fun family outings? Spring is a long way off, and in the middle of winter it's hard to find things to do as a family to stay connected.

Jim: For the Daly family, it's all about finding the balance between staying indoors -- which can quickly result in "cabin fever," especially with two energetic boys -- and venturing out into the Colorado cold. We try to find room for both in our winter routine.

There's certainly nothing wrong with finding activities at home, especially when the temperatures get really frigid. Try playing some board games or card games, or even creating a "family Olympics" competition on the Wii or another electronic console. You might also enjoy cooking a meal together as a family. Let your kids plan the menu, or try out some new recipes. My wife has been known to bake a batch of fresh bread or some other goodies for the neighbors, and then send the boys and me out to deliver them door-to-door.

Of course, kids are kinetic by nature, and at some point they're going to get tired of being cooped up inside the house. That's when it might be time to grit your teeth, put on your long underwear and brave a trip to the zoo. Or perhaps you can just have a snowball fight in the back yard. Look for hiking trails and other natural environments near you. Even if you often visit these places in the summer, you'll be amazed at how different they can look when the leaves are gone and there's snow on the ground.

And if you're really feeling adventurous, try some typically warm weather activities -- biking, throwing the Frisbee, even swimming! The possibilities are limited only by your imagination. Attempting some "out of the ordinary" winter activities is a great way for your family to build memories.

Q: Our teenage son is addicted to a specific electronic game. We're at a loss on how to help him. Do you have any advice or recommendations for us?

Leon Wirth, executive director of Parenting and Youth: Many people consider addiction to be related exclusively to substances like drugs or alcohol, but in reality it can involve anything that is mind- or mood-altering to the point that a person is willing to neglect friends, family and even physical health in order to pursue it. There is now abundant evidence that electronic games have the potential to elicit this kind of addictive behavior.

Here at Focus on the Family, we've been receiving an increasing number of calls about computer and video game addiction over the past several years. This has become a serious problem.

Since it can be difficult to address the complex issue of addiction on your own, we'd strongly recommend that you enlist the help of a licensed counselor. Contact Focus on the Family for a free consultation, as well as referrals to qualified professionals in your area.

As your son works with a counselor on issues related to his addiction, there are also some general steps you can take to prevent further harm in the long-term. These include: 1) setting time limits; 2) making sure your son completes all chores and homework before game play; 3) being aware of the content of the games your son is playing; 4) modeling good viewing/gaming habits yourself; 5) suspending play if your son is having difficulty with self-control; 6) monitoring your son's attitudes and behavior outside of gaming time; and 7) helping him develop interests and hobbies outside of video games.

May God bless you as you walk with your son and help him break the cycle of addiction.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

Q: As a grandparent, is there anything I can do to help our grandchildren cope with the divorce of their parents? It has been devastating to them.

Jim: We're sorry to learn of this difficult situation. At the same time, your desire to help your grandchildren through this tough period is encouraging. Knowing how to best help them depends on a number of factors, including their age, your proximity to them and so on. But here are some general principles that you may find helpful.

According to Dr. Archibald D. Hart, author of "Helping Children Survive Divorce" (Thomas Nelson, 1997), the impact of divorce typically varies by age. Kids aged 5 to 8 most often regress in their behavior. They also tend to feel responsibility for the divorce and may demonstrate an irrational fear of abandonment. For these reasons, many experts feel this is the most critical age for children to experience divorce, because they're old enough to understand what's happening but not old enough to adequately process it.

This is where you, as a grandparent, can make a positive impact. Assuming you're able to spend one-on-one time with them, you can help them process the anger they may be feeling, as well as help them grapple with false guilt. Even if your grandkids are older and aren't experiencing these specific problems, you can be a friend and confidante for them. Your home can be a place of refuge, an opportunity to regain a sense of "normalcy."

For more, track down a copy of Dr. Hart's book, or contact Focus on the Family for a free consultation with one of our licensed family counselors. May God bless you as you reach out to your grandkids!

Q: I am getting ready to marry for the second time. The man I am engaged to wants a prenuptial agreement. I want to believe this time I will be married forever and don't understand why he wants this. What are your thoughts on prenuptials before getting married?

Dr. Greg Smalley, executive director of marriage and family formation: Much depends on your fiance's reasons for wanting a prenuptial agreement. We often read of celebrities who sign prenuptial agreements filled with outlandish demands and strange stipulations designed to give one partner the "upper hand" over the other.

But is it possible to believe that marriage truly is a lifelong, permanent commitment, and yet still desire a prenuptial agreement? Absolutely. There may be legitimate issues -- including inheritance or trust funds for children from a previous marriage, or protection from debts incurred prior to the marriage -- that need to be addressed. This doesn't mean the couple is not committed for life. It is simply a prudent attempt to avoid financial and legal headaches in the future, particularly where extended family is involved.

Only you and your fiance can know where he stands on this spectrum. He may have legitimate grounds for desiring a prenuptial agreement, or he may be dealing with issues from his past that prevent him from fully trusting you and committing to the relationship, in which case a legal document will do nothing to solve the problem.

Either way, let me urge you in the strongest terms possible to enroll in premarital counseling. This is essential for any couple considering marriage, but it's absolutely imperative for couples in your situation who have been divorced. The prenuptial agreement is not the primary concern here. It is ensuring that you are both ready to fully commit to and trust one another. Contact Focus on the Family for a free consultation with a licensed counselor, as well as a referral to a qualified professional in your area who can help you work through these issues together.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.