Q: As a grandparent, is there anything I can do to help our grandchildren cope with the divorce of their parents? It has been devastating to them.

Jim: We're sorry to learn of this difficult situation. At the same time, your desire to help your grandchildren through this tough period is encouraging. Knowing how to best help them depends on a number of factors, including their age, your proximity to them and so on. But here are some general principles that you may find helpful.

According to Dr. Archibald D. Hart, author of "Helping Children Survive Divorce" (Thomas Nelson, 1997), the impact of divorce typically varies by age. Kids aged 5 to 8 most often regress in their behavior. They also tend to feel responsibility for the divorce and may demonstrate an irrational fear of abandonment. For these reasons, many experts feel this is the most critical age for children to experience divorce, because they're old enough to understand what's happening but not old enough to adequately process it.

This is where you, as a grandparent, can make a positive impact. Assuming you're able to spend one-on-one time with them, you can help them process the anger they may be feeling, as well as help them grapple with false guilt. Even if your grandkids are older and aren't experiencing these specific problems, you can be a friend and confidante for them. Your home can be a place of refuge, an opportunity to regain a sense of "normalcy."

For more, track down a copy of Dr. Hart's book, or contact Focus on the Family for a free consultation with one of our licensed family counselors. May God bless you as you reach out to your grandkids!

Q: I am getting ready to marry for the second time. The man I am engaged to wants a prenuptial agreement. I want to believe this time I will be married forever and don't understand why he wants this. What are your thoughts on prenuptials before getting married?

Dr. Greg Smalley, executive director of marriage and family formation: Much depends on your fiance's reasons for wanting a prenuptial agreement. We often read of celebrities who sign prenuptial agreements filled with outlandish demands and strange stipulations designed to give one partner the "upper hand" over the other.

But is it possible to believe that marriage truly is a lifelong, permanent commitment, and yet still desire a prenuptial agreement? Absolutely. There may be legitimate issues -- including inheritance or trust funds for children from a previous marriage, or protection from debts incurred prior to the marriage -- that need to be addressed. This doesn't mean the couple is not committed for life. It is simply a prudent attempt to avoid financial and legal headaches in the future, particularly where extended family is involved.

Only you and your fiance can know where he stands on this spectrum. He may have legitimate grounds for desiring a prenuptial agreement, or he may be dealing with issues from his past that prevent him from fully trusting you and committing to the relationship, in which case a legal document will do nothing to solve the problem.

Either way, let me urge you in the strongest terms possible to enroll in premarital counseling. This is essential for any couple considering marriage, but it's absolutely imperative for couples in your situation who have been divorced. The prenuptial agreement is not the primary concern here. It is ensuring that you are both ready to fully commit to and trust one another. Contact Focus on the Family for a free consultation with a licensed counselor, as well as a referral to a qualified professional in your area who can help you work through these issues together.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

Q: I need some advice on how to approach my teen daughter regarding the negative messages in teen magazines. I don't know where to start. Everything seems geared toward physical beauty. Do you have some ideas?

Jim: You have your work cut out for you! Our media culture tends to judge everyone -- but especially women -- based solely on their appearance. This mentality can wreak havoc on young girls when it comes to their self-esteem, body image and so on. Ironically, women's magazines are among the worst offenders. Even relatively conservative publications airbrush the images on their covers.

According to author Vicki Courtney ("BeTween: A Preteen Girl's Guide to Life"), little girls naturally want to be told they're pretty. If we don't tell them at all, they could end up having an unhealthy craving for male attention later on.

Hopefully, your daughter received this type of affirmation growing up. Now that she has reached the teen years, it's important to emphasize virtue and character over appearance. When she's exposed to negative stereotypes in teen publications, help her understand that those images of models who appear to have found the fountain of youth are not real. Most have been prepped by hair and makeup artists, Botox, plastic surgery -- and then airbrushed after the photos are taken.

It's up to you to help her distinguish between fact and fiction, illusion and reality. With a little guidance and a lot of love, you can diffuse our culture's negative messages about femininity, and help your daughter develop a healthy self-image.

Q: Our teenage son is a fan of horror movies. I watched one with him on DVD recently and, frankly, I was stunned by the violence. It's not like the campy horror films I remember. What should I do?

Jim: Bob Waliszewski, director of Plugged In, is Focus on the Family's resident media expert. Here's his take.

Bob: You have good reason to be concerned. Your son may believe that a steady diet of horror movies won't affect him. But the fact remains that our minds are shaped, for good or ill, by the stuff we pour into them.

This may seem rather intuitive, but I can't stress it enough: You need to help your son develop wisdom and discernment as he grows and matures. The best way to accomplish this is by providing reasonable guidelines while maintaining a close, warm, trusting relationship with him.

Sit down with your son and explain that research shows that violent media can lead toward violent behavior, and at the very least, aggressive attitudes. Praise him for his love of cinema (there are some truly great films out there!), but don't hesitate to let him know that dark, occultic, violent material will likely have a negative impact on his outlook and character.

Also, be sure to remind him that the reason you have to say "no" to certain types of entertainment is because you love him -- not because you're trying to spoil his fun. One of the ways you express your love is by doing your best to protect him from harmful influences. You wouldn't let him eat an E. coli-contaminated hamburger, so why would you let him consume "E. coli"-laced films?

Once you've explained your general perspective, you can proceed to let him know -- gently, but firmly -- that certain types of films will no longer be allowed. If you want him to respect your decisions in this regard, you'll have to convince him that you've done your research. A good place to start would be the movie reviews posted at www.pluggedin.com. Plugged In also offers plenty of positive alternatives -- movies that will encourage, build up and inspire -- something that all of us desire.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

Q: I want to build Christmas traditions with our kids, but my husband doesn't think it's a big deal. He finds it all too sentimental. What are your thoughts?

Jim: Take it from someone who didn't have many happy memories growing up due to the general instability of my family: Traditions are important!

Maybe it's picking out a Christmas tree, arranging a nativity scene, decorating the house or baking gingerbread cookies. When family members engage in these activities, it's a time of connection with one another that marks the moment. Collectively, these moments become memories we carry into our future. Years from now, the smell of certain foods or the sound of a favorite song will bring to mind special memories from our past and the important people who filled them.

Traditions connect us with our heritage as well. When young kids spend time with their grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles, it's an opportunity for them to feel a part of something bigger than themselves. It links them with their family history. Traditions also have the ability to bring a sweetness to the memory of loved ones we've lost over the years. Their presence lives on in the traditions we enjoyed with them.

I hope your husband will reconsider his position -- for your kids' sake, especially. The blessings that Christmas traditions create will bring joy to your family for generations to come.

Q: My strong-willed child is always a handful, but especially at bedtime. The excitement of the Christmas season has only amplified this problem. He refuses to stay in bed! What can we do?

Leon Wirth, executive director of Parenting and Youth: Bedtime battles are not unusual when there's a strong-willed child in the house. The remedy is the same as that for any conflict with a strong-willed child: firm, loving and persevering discipline.

Success depends on establishing clear expectations and meaningful consequences, and applying them consistently. Be sure to discuss these consequences ahead of time. Your son should understand clearly what is and isn't acceptable before he's held accountable.

Begin by saying something like, "We all have things we must do in our home to live well together. My job tonight is to see you get the rest you need. Your job tonight is to stay in bed and go to sleep." Let him know that if he doesn't obey, he'll have unpleasant consequences. This could involve the removal of a privilege in his bedtime routine. If his door is usually open or a nightlight is left on, perhaps the door will be closed and the light extinguished if he gets up.

After putting him to bed, be prepared to intercept him immediately. If he gets up, take him back to bed and sit quietly with him. Talk calmly and firmly about the importance of staying put. Say, "What we need right now is for you to stay in bed. What do you think we can do to make that happen?" If he gets up again, repeat the process. Be firm, but not angry or exasperated. Stay within the boundaries you established.

Your goal, and the key to success, is to outlast your child, no matter how long it takes. It's a matter of simple endurance. Once the battle has been won, the child will usually live within the parameters established. If it is lost, the next conflict will be even harder to resolve.

Don't forget to pay attention to the positive side of the ledger, too. It's important to "catch" your son being good. When he has a good night, encourage him and praise him for his accomplishment.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.