Q: My wife and I got married over the summer. Her family lives three hours away, and my family lives four hours away in the opposite direction. Both families want us to come home for Christmas, and we're literally caught in the middle. Help!

Jim: We hear from many couples who struggle with this dilemma. The wife's parents might insist on having their little girl at home on Christmas morning. But the husband's mom is fixing a huge turkey dinner and says she'll be hurt if he isn't there to share it. Just wait until you have kids -- things can get downright ugly when grandchildren are involved!

To help navigate this minefield, it's important to remember two principles: be fair, and be flexible.

When it comes to being fair, try to come up with a solution that works for both of your extended families. That might mean spending Thanksgiving with one family and Christmas with the other, and then switching off the next year.

When it comes to being flexible, think about what is in the best interests of those around you. Perhaps spending half the holidays on the road is not what your budget can handle right now. Don't be afraid to tell your extended family that it's honestly not a good idea for you to travel this year. There's nothing wrong with you and your wife having Christmas at home and starting some traditions of your own. Just be sure to communicate your decisions early so your family members can plan accordingly. Don't wait until the last minute to tell them.

Whatever you decide, just make sure that you and your wife are engaging in healthy communication on the subject. Don't let pressure from extended family members undermine the fact that you and your wife are on the same team!

Q: My husband and I were recently married. We're very happy and have a great relationship, except for one thing: I don't get along with his friends. This has led to arguments and tension between us. Is there a way to solve this problem?

Dr. Greg Smalley, executive director of marriage and family formation: Many newlyweds find themselves faced with challenges of this nature soon after the wedding, and their ability to work through them together is an important measure of the strength of their relationship. This issue can provide you and your husband with a great opportunity to learn what it means to compromise and be flexible.

You didn't mention what it is about your husband's friends that bothers you. Are they engaging in behavior that is immature, irresponsible or immoral? If so, we'd suggest that your husband has a responsibility to confront this issue. He needs to ask himself whether these friendships are truly good for him and for your marriage.

However, if the issue is simply that you have different tastes and interests than your husbands' friends, we would challenge you to do the hard work of finding common ground with these folks. For example, let's say this group loves football and monster truck rallies -- things that don't interest you in the slightest. Would you consider biting the bullet and learning a little bit about the NFL and oversized trucks -- if only for the sake of your marriage? To do so would certainly represent a compromise on your part, but it would also send a signal to your husband that you're willing to set your interests aside once in a while for the sake of his.

Hopefully he'll do the same thing for you on occasion -- perhaps by letting his friends go to the next event without him, and instead taking you out on a quiet date.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

Q: My daughter has a solo in the school Christmas program, but I'm afraid she's going to get sick and miss the performance due to the fact that half the kids in her class have colds. Would an immunity-boosting supplement help?

Jim: Most of us have seen people at the office downing vitamins, zinc, ginseng and other concoctions in an effort to fight off a cold. I turned to my friends on Focus on the Family's Physicians Resource Council for input on this question, and they agreed that trying to boost one's immune system is largely ineffective against colds. The runny nose and other symptoms we experience with a cold are not caused by the virus, but by its host. Our bodies naturally produce a number of chemicals to fight a cold, and those chemicals are what cause the headaches, the drippy nose and other unpleasant effects.

According to Jennifer Ackerman in her book "Ah-Choo!: The Uncommon Life of Your Common Cold" (Twelve, 2010), a runny nose and sinus headache are not signs of a weakened immune system. Rather, they're evidence that your immune system is already putting up a good fight. Trying to strengthen it with an over-the-counter concoction probably won't work. Immunity-boosting products could actually aggravate your symptoms.

The old adage is true: There's no cure for the common cold. The best advice for your daughter would probably be to wash her hands regularly, drink plenty of liquids and get lots of rest. Here's hoping that she'll be happy and healthy for her Christmas solo!

Q: My ex-husband and I divorced several years ago. Since that time, he has turned his life around. As a result, we've been dating again and I have a feeling he's going to "pop the question" on New Year's Eve. Do you think remarriage is a good idea in this case?

Dr. Greg Smalley, executive director of marriage and family formation: In a day when divorce is rampant and reconciliation is rare, a story like yours is amazing. And so, yes, we do think that remarriage is a good idea -- provided you can avoid the problems that led to your divorce in the first place.

You say your ex-husband has "turned his life around," which suggests that the divorce was primarily the result of his bad behavior. It's wonderful to hear that his attitudes have been transformed, but this doesn't mean you shouldn't proceed with caution. Change can be a slow process. In light of your history, it's important to make sure that you've seen concrete evidence of your husband's changed heart over time before you jump back into marriage. Don't set a timeline for moving forward until you're sufficiently reassured on this point.

Also, take a look at your own heart and motivations, and consider the role you may have played, however small, in the divorce. Have you sufficiently dealt with those issues? In addition, if you have children, they've already been impacted by your divorce, and you certainly don't want to make matters worse by remarrying and then splitting up again if things don't work out.

What you need most right now is the help and guidance of an experienced marriage counselor. He or she can help you both fully explore whether you're ready for remarriage and help you determine the best course of action. Try to find a counselor who is familiar with a relationship tool called "Prepare and Enrich." This test will help you and your ex-husband identify any lingering issues that you may need to address before moving ahead. Focus on the Family's Counseling Department can refer you to qualified marriage-and-family professionals in your area.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

Q: Our holiday budget looks grim this year. How can we enjoy the Christmas season without stressing about money?

Jim: Times are tough for many families! Here's some holiday budgeting advice adapted from financial guru Ron Blue:

-- Don't spend more on Christmas than you can afford. Ideally, you should start planning your spending early in the year, setting aside money for presents. Resist the urge to put big-ticket purchases on your credit card.

-- Give something of lasting value. Kids don't need big, flashy toys. Try to come up with gift ideas that truly align with their unique interests and personalities -- things they'll use repeatedly, such as books or board games, rather than those that will be cast aside by the end of Christmas Day.

-- Do something meaningful for someone else. Some of the best gifts involve a simple investment of time. Involve the entire family in doing a good deed for a neighbor or relative.

-- Focus on spiritual, not material, things. For many, Christmas has become an excuse to worship at the altar of materialism. Even if you don't embrace Christmas as a celebration of Christ's birth, you can use it to talk with your kids about the dangers of commercialism.

-- Give something to yourself. Make a commitment to pay off debt, start an emergency fund or live within your means in the coming year.

-- Build memories. Look for opportunities to spend meaningful time with your kids during this holiday season. They'll remember these moments for the rest of their lives, long after the toys and trinkets have journeyed to the landfill.

Q: We lost our home in a fire last month. My husband and I know we have a long road to recovery, but we're especially worried about our kids. Will the trauma of this experience impact them long-term?

Leon Wirth, executive director of Parenting and Youth: We're sorry for your loss. I personally know that trauma; our family lost a house in a fire five days before Christmas when I was 10 years old. Be prepared for an emotional roller coaster as your kids deal with the aftermath. Here are some suggestions to help them heal:

-- Keep them in a routine as much as possible. Create a predictable atmosphere of normalcy, perhaps by taking a daily walk or having a regular story time.

-- Encourage your kids to be honest with their emotions. Don't let them bury their pain and fear inside. Let them know it's OK to be sad.

-- Accept your kids' emotions for what they are. Whatever reaction they're experiencing is "normal" for them. For young kids, this often takes the form of acting out. For teens, it may mean becoming more withdrawn.

-- Don't avoid discussing the loss of your home, but don't obsess about it either. Help your kids explore nonverbal ways of processing the tragedy -- such as through drawing, painting or journaling.

-- Provide your kids with opportunities to meet other kids and families who have endured similar traumas.

-- Be mindful of the way you're processing your own emotions in their presence. They'll take a lot of cues from you. It's okay for them to know you're hurting, too, but be aware that your emotions can also be misread and cause a sense of panic or despair unnecessarily.

-- If your kids are having a particularly difficult time dealing with this loss in the form of persistent and extreme mood swings, nightmares or bad behavior, don't hesitate to seek the assistance of a qualified counselor. The same goes for you and your husband. Contact Focus on the Family (www.focusonthefamily.com) for a free consultation and referral.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.