Q: It's Thanksgiving, but I feel like my kids are anything but thankful. They have a staggering sense of entitlement. How can I combat this?

Jim: The answer depends on your kids' ages. Preschoolers are too young to grasp ideas like unselfishness and gratitude. That doesn't mean you shouldn't try to teach these concepts, but don't be overly concerned if your young children haven't caught on quite yet.

Older kids are another matter. This is where many parents come face-to-face with the impact of our materialistic, consumer-driven culture. Advertisers and toy manufacturers aren't in the business of helping parents teach contentment and thankfulness. From their perspective, children are a lucrative sector of the "market," and they design their publicity campaigns accordingly. As a result, children are conditioned to believe that they're entitled to have everything they want -- right now!

One of the best ways you can counter this mentality is by modeling gratitude yourself. Actions speak louder than words. As you go through your daily routine, remember to express thankfulness on a regular basis -- even for simple things like a roof over your head and food on the table. The practice of thanksgiving should not be confined to one Thursday in November.

Another way to help your child develop a grateful heart is by serving others who are less fortunate. Volunteer to serve meals at a local rescue mission. Visit shut-ins at a nursing home. Sign up to sponsor an underprivileged child in the developing world through a ministry like World Vision or Compassion International. This is a wonderful way to increase your entire family's awareness of the blessings they enjoy while getting in touch with the needs of people around the world.

Q: I do not feel "in love" with my mate. What should I do?

Jim: Love is more than a feeling. It's a decision! I'll let Focus on the Family's executive director of Marriage and Family Formation, Dr. Greg Smalley, explain.

Greg: As a marriage counselor, I often hear couples say, "I don't feel love for my mate anymore." To be honest, that statement does not cause me much concern. It simply provides an opportunity to challenge the couple's beliefs about love and its origins.

I remember the day I fell in love with Erin, the woman who would become my wife. As I reveled in those early feelings of infatuation, I had no idea that there would be times in our marriage when we would fight, and when we would experience moments of conflict so painful that we would doubt our love for one another. During these times, I tried to figure out what was wrong with me -- or with her. Was I incapable of generating love? Was there some flaw in Erin that made her "unlovable"?

After a long process of prayer, soul-searching and counseling, I learned to make the conscious decision to view Erin as God sees her -- valuable and precious. I realized that I had closed the door to my heart, preventing the flow of love. I'd become so busy focusing on her faults (and ignoring my own) that I had closed the doors to my heart.

And so I stopped worrying about whether or not I felt "in love." Rather than trying to manufacture feelings of love, I would ask myself, "Is my heart open or closed to my wife?" Since I did not have any ability to create love, I made the focus on the state of my own heart, which is something I can control. I encourage you and your spouse to sit down with a counselor who can help you work through this issue. Visit focusonthefamily.com for a referral.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

Q: We have three children, and we are looking for any advice you can give us on how we should do money allowances in our household.

Jim: Some parents believe in paying a weekly allowance, while others pay their kids for individual chores. Some parents don't pay anything, opting instead to give their children money for purchases based on their overall attitude and helpfulness. There's no one-size-fits-all approach.

Whatever system you adopt, it's important to remember that one of your major goals is to prepare your children to live in the "real world" -- the world of work, taxes, charitable giving and investments. In that world, nobody is going to pay them for making their beds or taking out the trash. Instead, they'll be paid for things like managing a group of employees, tuning up somebody's car or selling a pair of shoes to a demanding customer.

With that in mind, we would suggest that kids perform certain tasks around the house simply because they are part of the family. This might include taking care of their own rooms, picking up their toys, helping prepare meals, washing their own clothes and, yes, even taking out the trash.

On the other hand, you might pay your kids for chores that demand more time and energy -- contributions to the life of the household that go beyond the call of duty. This might include mowing the lawn, washing the car or, in the case of a responsible teenager, baby-sitting younger siblings for an entire Saturday afternoon.

Whether it's a regular responsibility or a chore that earns a "paycheck," it's important to communicate clearly what you're looking for in terms of the timeframe and the level of quality you expect.

Q: What do you do when your spouse is unwilling to compromise or discuss issues that you don't agree on in your marriage?

Jim: Compromise can be a challenge in any marriage! I'm going to let Dr. Greg Smalley, Focus on the Family's executive director of Marriage and Family Formation, tackle this one.

Greg: The key is to dig down below the surface issue to what is actually driving both spouses' feelings of hurt. Instead of getting stuck arguing about a specific issue (money, sex, kids, work, etc.) or what each partner is doing wrong, use the opportunity to discuss what is really going on deep inside of you.

What drives hurt and frustration in marriage? Buttons. Whenever someone says something that hurts you or makes you mad, it pushes your buttons. Common buttons include feeling rejected, abandoned, helpless, inadequate, unloved, worthless or unimportant. All of these buttons are ultimately rooted in fear. When someone pushes your fear button, you tend to react with unhealthy words or actions calculated to motivate the other person to change and give you what you want. For example, if you fear being a failure, you want to feel successful. If you fear being rejected, you desire to feel accepted. Most of us use unhealthy reactions to deal with our fear, and as a result, we sabotage our relationships.

The key to breaking this cycle is for you and your spouse to first identify your buttons, and then your reactions. Remember, you can either talk about the surface issue, arguing about what the other person does that hurts or frustrates you, or you can talk about what is really driving your hurt and frustration -- your buttons. Don't be afraid to ask an outside party for help with this process, if necessary. Focus on the Family can offer you a free counseling session by phone and also put you in touch with a qualified counselor in your area.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

Q: The TV is always on at our house! I like to do other activities with the kids, but I just can't pull everyone away from the TV. What is the appropriate amount of time to spend watching TV each day, and how can I get my family interested in other activities?

Jim: The solution to your dilemma can be summed up in three words: Turn it off! Countless studies testify to the detrimental effects of too much TV exposure, especially on children. It places them at higher risk for obesity, smoking, learning difficulties and being bullied. I could go on ...

And I will! There's also the issue of content. Whether through advertising or depictions of sex and violence, it's likely your children are receiving messages that you don't want them to hear.

Television isn't inherently evil, of course, and I'm not suggesting that you make your kids quit "cold turkey" (although many families, including my own, have made their homes largely TV-free, with no regrets). Considering the steady diet to which they've become accustomed, your children will likely balk at the thought of curtailing their TV intake.

Your family can go outside. In the warmer months, your family can play miniature golf or visit the local swimming pool. You can get involved in charity work as a family.

Your kids will likely relish the opportunity to engage in physical activity as a family and will thank you in the long run.

Q: My father died this year, and our young son has been asking questions. He wants to know where Grandpa has gone and whether he's become a "guardian angel." What's the best way to talk about death with a child?

Jim: There's no one better qualified to answer this question than Focus on the Family's executive director of parenting and youth, Leon Wirth.

Leon: We'd encourage you to be open with your son about his grandfather's passing. Death is a part of life, and it's important for children to understand that. So be honest when you talk about it. Say, "Grandpa died," not, "He's gone away," or, "He went to sleep." These phrases can lead to confusion and might even cause your son to wonder if he'll die when he goes to sleep!

Look for teachable moments and opportunities to talk about what has happened. Parents often avoid this subject to protect their kids, but we can use everyday occurrences -- wilting flowers, changing seasons, even the death of a pet -- to help them understand the reality. Perhaps most importantly, remember that when a death occurs, our kids will take their cues from us and react in great part based on how we react.

Also, help your son feel comfortable sharing his feelings. Let him know that you miss Grandpa, too, and that it's OK to feel sad when we lose a loved one. Part of this process might involve recalling good memories of special times with Grandpa. Look through photo albums and tell fun stories from the past.

Be sure to use age-appropriate language. Most young children don't have the capacity to grasp abstract concepts such as death and eternity. Depending on his age, there's a chance your son will not fully understand what has happened to his Grandpa and won't be able to appreciate the permanence of death. So keep the discussion simple, geared to your son's level of maturity and insight.

For more on helping your son process this time of grieving, seek out a copy of H. Norman Wright's book, "It's Okay to Cry: A Parent's Guide to Helping Children Through the Losses of Life" (WaterBrook Press, 2004). It includes a number of practical suggestions for helping kids cope with the death of a loved one.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.