Q: Our son wants to try out for the football team this year, but I'm concerned. He's only a freshman, and we have friends whose sons have sustained fairly serious injuries playing high school football. Should we forbid him from trying out?

Jim: There's no denying football is a rough sport. I should know -- my own high school football career ended with a broken collarbone!

And there's a significant amount of research suggesting that broken bones are just the tip of the iceberg. According to a 2010 New York Times article, football accounts for 22 percent of all concussions among 8- to 19-year-olds. In fact, 27 percent of football players ages 12 through 17 have had a least one concussion.

And the sport only gets more brutal when you move to the college and professional levels. Researchers have identified a serious condition in some NFL players called chronic traumatic encephalopathy, or C.T.E. It can develop after repeated concussions and other trauma, resulting in serious depression and lack of impulse control. This condition may affect college-level players, too.

Despite these alarming facts, I think it could be a mistake to prohibit your son from trying out for the team. Football is a great sport that teaches kids teamwork and helps them get in shape. At this point, the dangers of college and pro football are not a factor regarding your son, and probably never will be.

However, the "win at all costs" mentality that pervades professional sports can trickle down to the high school level as well. You -- and your son -- simply need to be aware of the risks involved. Most injuries will have no long-term impact, so long as they're allowed to heal properly. Talk to the coach, and make sure he doesn't push his players back out on the field too soon after being hurt. Playing while injured isn't just tough -- it's stupid.

Q: I have a 15-year-old daughter who's very artistic and melodramatic. Lately, she's started acting odd -- dressing in black, staying in her room a lot and avoiding the family. Is this normal teenage behavior, or should I be concerned?

Juli: Yes, it's normal teenage behavior, and yes, you should be concerned. The adolescent years often include the behaviors your daughter is exhibiting: mood swings, withdrawal and going through "fads" with music and clothing. Just because these behaviors are normal doesn't mean they shouldn't cause concern.

Teenagers lack both life experience and the ability to think through consequences of their choices. This leaves them vulnerable to high-risk behaviors, including drug and alcohol use, sexual activity and self-injury.

Parents of teens should be especially attentive when they notice drastic changes in behavior. For example, a straight-A student begins neglecting his schoolwork or a social teen suddenly doesn't want to talk to her friends.

While your daughter is pulling away from you, your strategy should be to "lean into" her. It's critical that you work at connecting with her, even if she seems to resist. Find ways to spend time with her, such as running errands or going to the mall. Ask open-ended questions about school, her friends and the music she likes. Is there anything going on in her life -- family conflict, a breakup, or even problems with a bully -- that may be causing her pain above and beyond the normal adolescent experience?

You mentioned that she's artistic. Perhaps her drawings, poetry or other forms of expression can be a window into what she's feeling. While a certain amount of moodiness is normal in teens, if you see consistent themes of despair or thoughts of self-injury or suicide, it's time to contact someone who specializes in teen issues to help your daughter weather the storm.

(Submit your questions to: ask@FocusOnTheFamily.com)

Q: This summer our teenager has been spending all of his time with friends, and as a result he's never available to take part in family activities. What should we do?

Jim: Although you're probably disappointed by his unavailability, it's likely not cause for concern. Your son's behavior is part of a normal process that child development experts call "separation and individuation." Between the ages of 6 and 12, a child's need to identify with his peer group starts to take precedence over his sense of identification with family. This continues through the teen years and usually concludes with complete separation and independence between the ages of 18 and 20.

You can make this transition smoother if you keep in mind the following suggestions from Focus on the Family's counseling team, which deals with this question occasionally from parents in your position:

First, as difficult as it sounds, reassess your own motives. Do you have selfish reasons for wanting your child to stay close? Do you have a hidden emotional need that you're expecting him to fulfill? Are you afraid of letting go and seeing him make mistakes on his own? If so, you need to realize that these are your problems, not his.

Next, find a way to embrace and affirm this shift in your son's outlook. Allow for separation while helping him realize that he's wanted at home, too. One way to achieve this might be to host activities for your son's friends. Organize a summer barbecue or allow him to invite some pals on your next family hike. This will provide you with a window into your son's peer group as well as a discreet, relaxed opportunity to chaperone his interaction with friends. While there's certainly a place for family-only activities, there's no reason why you can't devise additional outings of a more inclusive nature.

Q: I have a huge concern about the music my teenager and his friends are listening to. I know when I was a teenager that the music I listened to affected my attitude and heart. How can I help my son understand that music does affect your heart and mind and that there is positive music out there to listen to?

Juli: There are a lot of parenting challenges that have changed over time, but this one has been around for several generations. Teens and their parents have never agreed on music. The stakes seem higher now than when teens were enthralled with the Beatles. The lyrics of today's edgiest music are far more graphic and disturbing, describing violent and sexual acts in detail.

Many American teens have smartphones or iPods that can play music without disturbing Mom and Dad. That's why parents must be proactive to stay in touch with what kind of music their kids are listening to.

To get the point across to your son, here's what I would recommend. Print out the lyrics to the music he is listening to. Then ask him to read them out loud to you. This brings to light the impact of what he is choosing to put in his mind.

The next step really depends on your parenting philosophy and on your teen's age. I would flat out prohibit a young teen from listening to destructive music, but give more freedom for discernment to an older teen who has started making his own choices.

If you need help finding good music and getting another perspective on what your teens are listening to, check out our Plugged In website at www.pluggedin.com.

(Submit your questions to: ask@FocusOnTheFamily.com)

Q: Our daughter and her husband are struggling financially. We'd like to help them out, but we don't want to set an unhealthy precedent or violate the integrity of their marriage. How should we handle this?

Jim: Focus on the Family's counseling team deals with this question often. Their advice is that if you have the financial ability and the desire, it's actually more beneficial to give to your children while you are alive than to leave them a large inheritance -- provided, of course, that you do it wisely and follow some basic guidelines:

-- Give with no manipulative strings attached. If you're trying to change an adult child's behavior by what you do for them financially, you're being manipulative. This poses a challenge for some parents and grandparents. Instead of giving money freely, they may want something in return: phone calls, visits during the holidays, license to "meddle" in their children's marriages, etc. Such expectations run contrary to the spirit of true generosity.

-- Transfer wealth gradually, without changing their lifestyle dramatically. Consider helping them out with the cost of necessary items, such as appliances, rather than luxury items. If they're buying a home, you might also think about giving them a monthly gift to help pay down the principal on their mortgage.

-- Be sensitive to your son-in-law's feelings and bear in mind the importance of his role as provider. Don't give the young couple so much money that he feels he isn't needed.

-- Don't rob your children of the ability to learn valuable life lessons. It's hard for more affluent parents to watch their kids struggle with problems that could be solved with a check. But it may not always be healthy for you to intervene. Struggling through a "lean" season may actually help them develop character and strengthen their marriage.

Q: My husband just told me that he's been having an emotional affair with a co-worker. We're trying to work things out, but I'm confused and having a hard time forgiving. Is an emotional affair just as damaging as a physical affair?

Juli: In some ways, an emotional affair is even more difficult to deal with than a physical affair because it is so ambiguous. Even the most basic question, "What defines an emotional affair?" is not an easy one to answer. While your husband did not share his body with another woman, he shared thoughts and feelings that should be reserved only for you. That hurts and feels like a betrayal!

As difficult as it is to forgive your husband and move on, it is a good sign that he confessed the affair to you. By doing so, he recognizes that he has crossed boundaries that he should not have crossed. Instead of rationalizing his actions, he is accepting responsibility.

To move forward, you need to follow many of the same steps involved in recovering from a physical affair. Forgiveness is certainly one of those steps. To forgive your husband means to give up your right to punish him for his past choices.

You also need to address the trust issue that was broken between you. How can you know that he will not continue in an emotional affair or begin another one? Together, you need to talk about boundaries that will protect your marriage. Reading Jerry Jenkins' book, "Hedges," would be a great place to start.

Finally, work together as a team to be sure that you are meeting each other's emotional and sexual needs within your marriage. Couples become more vulnerable to affairs when those needs are neglected.

(Submit your questions to: ask@FocusOnTheFamily.com)