Q: My daughter, a junior, is looking forward to going to her high school prom in a few weeks. But I'm worried about the hedonistic atmosphere. What's your perspective on this?

Jim: There are a number of good reasons to be concerned about what goes on during and after a high school prom -- everything from immodest dress and dancing to sexual activity to drug and alcohol abuse. It can be a real challenge to guide your teen wisely through this minefield.

You can defuse some of the danger by simply asking your daughter about her plans and expectations. Why does she want to go so badly? What does she expect to happen when she gets there?

The list of bad reasons for going to prom is considerable -- and yet most of them are promoted in teen magazines. They include things like finding a "boyfriend" or "girlfriend" and hooking up, or simply impressing others with clothes and limousines that come with hefty price tags.

But there can be positive reasons for attending prom, too. Your daughter might be allowed to take part in this event as a reward for hard work, personal integrity or academic achievement. She can be encouraged to see it as a chance to deepen strong friendships in a group setting. In fact, going with a group of friends -- rather than with an exclusive "date" -- can be a great way for your daughter and her pals to keep one another accountable in the face of prom's temptations.

Gaining a sense of your daughter's intentions for prom night can either confirm your anxieties or bolster your confidence. Either way, you'll have more solid information on which to base your decision. If you choose to let her attend, you can enhance the experience by getting excited about it with her. If, on the other hand, this process of investigation leaves you feeling uncomfortable about prom night, you can explore alternative activities together -- many of which are far less expensive!

Juli: For many men, technology has become a way to escape from the pressures of work and family life. You may be shocked to learn that 53 percent of all American adults play video or computer games. Add that to the hours the average American watches TV and checks email and Facebook, and you can see that this is a common problem.

It's much easier for your husband to tune out while at home than to interact or contribute to family chores. Nagging him about it isn't likely to help. Most likely, you'll need to be more intentional about getting his attention.

Start by asking to have a conversation with him. When you have his full attention, tell him how much you miss him and how it concerns you to see so much of his time plugged into technology. Tell him that while you recognize his need to unwind, you also need him to be more present in the home.

Then ask him to come up with some reasonable guidelines, like no technology during meals, no more than two hours in the evening, etc. If he's unwilling to do this, I'd insist on meeting with a third party, such as a mentor couple or counselor. This is more than a time waster. It can be a marriage killer, so treat it that seriously.

Dr. Juli Slattery is a licensed psychologist, co-host of Focus on the Family, author of several books, and a wife and mother of three.)

(Submit your questions to: ask@FocusOnTheFamily.com)

Q: I'm a stay-at-home mom with four children under the age of 7. I love my kids and would do anything for them. But sometimes, I just lose it. I can't handle all of the noise and the constant demands. I feel so guilty for losing my temper!

Juli: You just exposed the greatest secret of most young moms: They get overwhelmed, they yell and then they feel guilty. Please know that you are not alone.

Being home all day with little ones is a demanding and thankless job. Even the most devoted mom can slip into anger and depression as the laundry piles up, the kids are vomiting and the cries for "Mommy!" fill the house. The stress of motherhood becomes more pronounced if you're isolated.

To do any worthwhile job well, including motherhood, you need regular breaks and things in your life that replenish you. This means you need to make time for outlets that reduce stress like exercise, friendship, hobbies and romance with your husband. A great first step is to join a local MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) group just to have time with other moms who can completely relate to your life. They even offer childcare during the meetings!

You also need to recognize when your anger and frustration are being triggered. Give yourself a time-out. Taking five minutes to calm down, get perspective and form a game plan can keep you from losing your temper.

You may also want to check out Julie Ann Barnhill's book "She's Gonna Blow! Real Help for Moms Dealing With Anger." You'll find practical suggestions from a mom who has walked in your shoes.

I respect your commitment to be home with your children and your desire to be a great mom. Don't lose sight of all of the wonderful ways you're investing in your kids.

Jim: This critical time, when it appears a proposal is imminent, is the perfect opportunity to explore pre-engagement counseling. While many couples seek out a counselor once they're already engaged and making wedding plans, we believe there are many reasons to start that process before the engagement is official. My wife, Jean, and I did this, and it was an important step for us.

Consider this: Engaged couples are far less inclined to take an in-depth, honest look at their relationship. In many cases they've already purchased the rings, reserved the church, sent out invitations and hired a photographer. There's also the social stigma of breaking off an engagement. For all these reasons, engaged couples have a vested interest in ignoring one another's flaws and overlooking potential rough spots in their relationship. They're already committed to moving forward. In many cases this can lead to problems later.

Therefore, we'd recommend that you and your boyfriend find a good marriage-and-family therapist and set up a series of sessions now. The process should include a personality test such as the PREPARE/ENRICH Premarital Inventory. Contact Focus on the Family (focusonthefamily.com) for help in finding a counselor in your area.

Yes, this process will require an investment of time and money. But hopefully you and your boyfriend will agree that it's worth it in order to make sure your relationship is really marriage material. It's much easier and a lot less expensive than going through a divorce later. Best wishes to you!

Dr. Juli Slattery is a licensed psychologist, co-host of Focus on the Family, author of several books, and a wife and mother of three.)

(Submit your questions to: ask@FocusOnTheFamily.com)

Q: I recently discovered that my wife has connected with an old flame through Facebook. She keeps telling me it's not a big deal, but I think it is. Do I have a right to be angry and to tell her not to talk to this guy?

Juli: This has become one of those gray areas that aren't exactly seen as "cheating." As innocent as it may seem to reconnect with a high school sweetheart, it's a recipe for disaster and it can devastate trust in marriage.

The deeper motivation behind connecting with someone from the past is to flirt with the question, "What if?" It's the stuff romantic comedies are made of. What if I had chosen differently? Would my life be any better?

I certainly believe you should be alarmed. You have the right to defend your marriage and to have a "healthy jealousy" for your wife. However, instead of getting angry, you may garner her attention more readily by expressing your hurt and concern for your marriage. If you react in anger and demand that she break off communication with her old boyfriend, she's likely to feel controlled or threatened. Even if you succeed in convincing her to sever ties, you haven't really addressed your marriage problem.

The real issues are trust and fidelity. Her rekindling an old flame opens a door that can easily lead to an emotional or sexual affair. Even if it never develops past playful banter, it can undermine intimacy and confidence in your marriage. What cracks are there in your relationship that might be prompting the "What if?" in her mind?

Instead of reacting emotionally, view this incident as you would the "check engine" light on your dashboard. The light isn't the problem. It's just a warning that something far more threatening may be developing.

Jim: It's encouraging to know that your daughter isn't doing anything inappropriate during those late nights, but that's always a risk, even for compliant teens. Even if they don't go looking for trouble online, trouble may find them, in the form of a predator or an offensive link. So remain vigilant.

Regardless of her activity online, you have reason to be concerned about the hours your daughter's keeping. A study of 20,000 youths in the journal Sleep found that those who slept fewer than five hours a night were three times more likely to become psychologically troubled in the next year. And much of that lack of sleep can be attributed to late nights on the computer, instant messaging, gaming and Facebook.

Less sleep was also associated with longer-term mental health problems, especially depression, later in life. Researchers think a lack of sleep may explain a rise in mental illness among young people in recent decades. The teenage years can be full of anxiety already. If you add sleep deprivation to the mix, the results can be disastrous. Some experts believe that this combination can even contribute to major depression and bipolar disorder long after adolescence is over.

The most straightforward solution is to place limits on your daughter's computer time. Make sure she's getting plenty of sleep every night. Let her know that, for her own sake, using the computer into the early morning hours isn't permissible. The same goes for smartphones and other devices. She may be surprised at how much better she feels!

Dr. Juli Slattery is a licensed psychologist, co-host of Focus on the Family, author of several books, and a wife and mother of three.)

(Submit your questions to: ask@FocusOnTheFamily.com)