Question: Teenage rebellion has hit our home at last. My 15-year-old son's rotten attitude just went from bad to worse! How do I get him through the "rapids" of adolescence without rocking the boat any more than absolutely necessary?

DR. DOBSON: First of all, you need to recognize that the trial you're facing is "common to man." Adolescent revolt is hormonally driven and occurs in the best of families. When hostility and rebellion begin to appear, how do you keep your boys (and girls) from blowing up and doing something stupid?

I've addressed that subject in the past, but let me offer a recent finding that I haven't shared before. The National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health surveyed 11,572 teenagers to determine which factors were most helpful in preventing harmful behavior, such as violence, suicide, substance abuse, early sexual behavior and teen pregnancy.

Here's what the researchers found: The presence of parents is beneficial at four key times of the day –– early morning, after school, dinnertime and bedtime. When that regular contact is combined with other shared activities between parents and kids, the most positive outcome is achieved. The researchers also observed that adolescents who felt a sense of connection with their parents (feelings of warmth, love and caring) were least likely to engage in harmful behavior.

Some of my readers might be asking, "How can I be with my teenagers morning, noon and night? I have altogether too much work to do." Well, you simply have to decide what is most important to you at this time. It won't matter as much a few years down the road, but your availability right now could make the difference for your child between surviving or plunging off the cliff.

QUESTION: I have great fear that my baby will die when I put her in her crib. What is known now about sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS)? Have researchers figured out what causes these tragic cases where seemingly healthy babies die while sleeping?

DR. DOBSON: Sudden infant death syndrome is still a major concern, killing about 2,500 babies each year in the United States alone. We do know more, however, about the circumstances that are often associated with this terrible event. A study was conducted by the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission with the collaboration of researchers at the University of Maryland and the Washington University School of Medicine in St. Louis, Mo. The results were presented at a meeting of the Society for Pediatric Research in 1996.

The epidemiologist who directed the investigation, Dr. N.J. Scheers, said, "We have not found a cause of SIDS, but our results show that specific items of bedding used in the U.S., such as comforters and pillows, were associated with an increased risk for death to prone-sleeping infants whose faces became covered, compared to infants on their sides or backs without soft bedding under them."

It was concluded that babies placed on their stomachs in soft bedding are more likely to re-breathe their own carbon dioxide that is trapped in the blankets and pillows around them. In about 30 percent of the 206 SIDS deaths in the research project, babies were found with bedding pressed against their noses and mouths. Most of them were under four months old and could not extricate themselves.

QUESTION: My husband and I just moved to Arizona from Pennsylvania, and I haven't established a network of friends here yet. My family is back east, and I have no one but my husband to talk to about problems the kids are having. He is very busy, so all the "homework" is left to me. How can I deal with the feelings of loneliness and isolation as a mother?

DR. DOBSON: It is vital that you build relationships with other women that can help satisfy the needs for friendship and emotional support. Failure to do that places too great a strain on the marital relationship, which can lead to serious interpersonal problems. I'm not saying that your husband has no responsibility to help you get through this period of loneliness, but unless he is a very unusual man, he will not be able to "carry" you emotionally while earning a living and handling the other responsibilities of living.

Therefore, I recommend that you seek out women's groups that are designed to meet the needs you described. Many churches offer Bible study groups and classes that put women in touch with one another. Other possibilities are out there, such as Mom's Day Out. For mothers of school-age children, there is a Christian ministry called Moms In Touch International, designed to bring women together to pray for their local school, its teachers, principal, school board, etc. It "bonds" them together in a common cause.

What I'm saying is that you are not alone, even in a new city. There are other women out there who need you as much as you need them. You can find each other with a little effort. It is dangerous under the circumstances you described to sit and wait for the world to come to your front door.

QUESTION: What can I do to help my middle child figure out who she is?

DR. DOBSON: Parents should take steps to ensure the identity of all their children but especially the child in the middle. That can be accomplished by relating to each boy or girl as an individual, rather than merely as a member of the group. Let me offer two suggestions that will illustrate what I mean.

1. It is meaningful for Dad to "date" each child, one at a time, every four or five weeks. The other kids should not be told where they are going until it is revealed by the boy or girl in retrospect. They can play miniature golf, go bowling, play basketball, eat tacos or pizza, or visit a skating rink. The choice should be made by the child whose turn has arrived.

2. Ask each offspring to design his or her own flag, which can be sewn in canvas or cloth. That flag is then flown in the front yard on the child's "special" days, including birthdays, after he has received an A in school, when he scores a goal in soccer or hits a home run in baseball, and so forth.

There are other ways to accomplish the same purpose. The target, again, is to plan activities that emphasize one child's individuality apart from his identity within the group.

QUESTION: Is it possible to love someone and not feel it?