parenting

Follow Basic Guidelines When Monitoring Kids' Screen Time

A+ Advice for Parents by by Leanna Landsmann
by Leanna Landsmann
A+ Advice for Parents | December 21st, 2015

Q: We try to manage the "screen" lives of our tweens. Yet every time we turn around, there's a new app to worry about or another social media horror story to scare parents. Help!

A: You're in good company. Many parents are overwhelmed, says Caroline Knorr, the parenting editor of Common Sense Media, which has shown that 8- to 12-year-olds are averaging nearly six hours a day on entertainment media, while 13- to 18-year-olds average a whopping nine hours. With numbers like those, it's understandable that parents want strategies to keep kids' online experiences safe, productive and fun.

Here's the good news: Research shows that tweens and teens whose parents are actively involved in their kids' media lives consume less media, make better choices and understand more of what they're interacting with.

"So, even if your kids know way more about media and technology than you do, you can still help them navigate the digital world safely, responsibly and productively," says Knorr.

She suggests these media-savvy New Year's resolutions:

Have the talk -- the one about being safe, smart and responsible online. "You don't have to be an Instagram expert to give your kids a solid understanding of how you expect them to behave," Knorr explains.

Keep social media in perspective. Just because your teen is on Snapchat every minute doesn't mean she's really having fun. According to Common Sense Media, 45 percent of teens use social media every day, but only 36 percent say they enjoy it "a lot." Teens whose parents talk to them about their social media lives report being happier.

"As with anything, social media has good, bad and neutral aspects, but kids need parents to help them sort out which is which," says Knorr.

Create a media plan. It's easy for media and technology to overstay their welcome. Make a plan to stay in control. It might include:

-- Screen-free zones. Certain areas (bedrooms, for example) and times (such as dinner) are off-limits to phones, tablets, TVs and other devices, so they're reserved for rest and family time.

-- Less multitasking during homework. Little distractions can add up to big misses in school.

-- Enforcing limits. "Everyone needs to disengage from their devices, adults included," says Knorr. "But without someone to draw the line, tweens and teens may text late into the night or play video games till they look like zombies. Establish appropriate boundaries and make sure you enforce them."

-- Encourage informal learning. Studying guitar from YouTube videos, reading "Star Wars" wikis and watching TED Talks are all valuable screen activities that you can encourage and share as a family.

-- Promote healthy skepticism. Help kids think critically about the media they consume. Ads and content are increasingly intertwined, and studies have shown that children have a hard time distinguishing between the two. Online stories are routinely unmasked as hoaxes, and companies' privacy policies are filled with legalese. You should ask yourself who made the content you're watching and who the audience is. Think about the content's messages. (For more resources, go to commonsensemedia.com.)

-- Celebrate kids using social media for good. Across the world, tweens and teens who are tired of online negativity pop up with positive messages to share. Celebrate those examples and talk to your kids about the power of social media for productive social change.

(Do you have a question about your child's education? Email it to Leanna@aplusadvice.com. Leanna Landsmann is an education writer who began her career as a classroom teacher. She has served on education commissions, visited classrooms in 49 states to observe best practices, and founded Principal for a Day in New York City.)

parenting

Off-the-Grid Gifts for Kids This Holiday Season

A+ Advice for Parents by by Leanna Landsmann
by Leanna Landsmann
A+ Advice for Parents | December 14th, 2015

Q: I'd like to find some educational, yet enjoyable, non-techie gifts for kids on my list, as I'm sure their parents will get them "Star Wars" and video game-type stuff. The kids range in age from 1 to 12. Are books still cool? Do you have any suggestions?

A: Books are still cool, and essential. In the age of tablets, kids still love to own "real" books. And they benefit academically by growing up in what educators call a "print rich" environment. This boosts kids' love of reading, develops their curiosity and encourages family sharing and discussion.

A 2014 study published in Oxford's Social Forces journal researched families in 42 nations and found that having a growing home library has a strong positive influence on a child's academic success. So continue stuffing those stockings with good reading.

Just remember these rules of thumb when selecting books, suggests Carl Harvey, an elementary school librarian in Noblesville, Indiana.

For the very young, consider board books, pop-up books and picture books. Choose books that promote "cuddle time" and introduce kids to the rhythms and sounds of language as parents read them. Some board books feature sound or textured pages, adding to the reading experience.

For early readers, consider picture books with universal themes or those that promote early learning skills, such as the alphabet or number concepts. Look for books with colorful illustrations and text that repeats or rhymes and tells a story that explores a childhood theme, such as Eric Carle's "The Very Hungry Caterpillar." There are many "best picture books" lists, and most bookstores have a large selection to browse before you buy.

As children become proficient readers, they start to appreciate favorite authors and themes, so ask a parent or a teacher about the kids' fiction preferences. Better yet, says Harvey, give the children gift cards and let them choose their leisure reading.

Nonfiction books are always a good bet. They can boost a child's growing interest in a topic. A doodler might enjoy "Go: A Kidd's Guide To Graphic Design" (Workman, 2013). A "Star Wars" fan might like "Space: A Visual Encyclopedia" (DK Children, 2010). A young chef might love "Cooking Class: 57 Fun Recipes Kids Will Love to Make (and Eat!)" (Storey Publishing, 2015). A budding marine biologist will appreciate "Ocean: A Photicular Book" (Workman, 2014).

Kids' almanacs -- from National Geographic and Scholastic to the Farmers Almanac for Kids -- are packed with "weird but true" facts the whole family can enjoy.

Children's poetry collections are fun for the whole family as well. There are hundreds to choose from, ranging from "The Random House Book of Poetry for Children," illustrated by Arnold Lobel (Random House, 1983), to those organized around themes, such as "National Geographic Book of Nature Poetry" (National Geographic Children's Books, 2015), and "Amazing Places" (Lee and Low Books, 2015), featuring poems about America's great treasures.

Workman Publishing, Klutz and DK offer a rich range of "fun between two covers" for kids, says Rachelle Levy, a Florida educator. "These rainy-day books spur curiosity, discovery and laughter. You'll find books of games, puzzles, mazes and riddles; kits that introduce hobbies; books that take kids places, teach storytelling or card games.

"Half the fun in giving is shopping for them."

(Do you have a question about your child's education? Email it to Leanna@aplusadvice.com. Leanna Landsmann is an education writer who began her career as a classroom teacher. She has served on education commissions, visited classrooms in 49 states to observe best practices, and founded Principal for a Day in New York City.)

parenting

Some Tips On Keeping Kids Busy During Holiday Break

A+ Advice for Parents by by Leanna Landsmann
by Leanna Landsmann
A+ Advice for Parents | December 7th, 2015

Q: We're sticking close to home during holiday break. What family activities can we plan to keep my elementary-age kids and their cousins constructively and inexpensively occupied, i.e., off the couch and out of malls?

A: Great idea, Mom. Family time is something your kids probably won't put on their Christmas lists, but research shows that "one thing kids -- even teens -- really want is more time with parents," says youth counselor Marissa Gehley, the founder of California-based consulting group KNOW (Kids Need Our Wisdom).

With that in mind, try these memory-making activities with your family:

-- Celebrate traditions. Do you have traditions that you want your kids to pass on to future generations? If so, take pictures and post them to a photo-sharing service; you can also create a holiday handbook, video, blog or scrapbook. Include recipes, songs, games, readings and other things that make your holidays special. As the kids get older, they won't put out cookies for Santa, but they can still enjoy the magic of holidays past.

-- Archive family stories. Add to the family tree with memories, anecdotes and photos from grandparents, parents, aunts and uncles. Websites such as StoryWorth.com make it easy for everyone to contribute to the archive.

"The immigration debate caused my young sons to ask why people want to build a wall with Mexico, so over Thanksgiving we talked about our own family's immigrant history," says Houston mother Luisa Sanchez. "We started to record my parents' and grandparents' recollections and preserve their photos. We described their accomplishments. The kids loved it. It helped them understand their heritage as citizens in a country created by immigrants."

-- Do for others. When families volunteer together, children learn the intrinsic value of giving. "More than ever, it's important for families to reach out and care for their communities," says Shirley Harden, a retired educator who volunteers with her grandchildren.

Four guidelines can enrich this experience, says Harden.

For starters, "find volunteer opportunities kids can relate to," she explains. "While you may want to sing for seniors, kids may find it more rewarding to collect blankets and food for an animal shelter."

Second, make sure children are welcome and can do the work.

"Don't show up at a busy soup kitchen with kids in tow unless you've checked ahead of time," Harden says.

Third, discuss in advance what you'll be doing and how your work will help others.

Fourth, "talk about the experience when you get home to give children a chance to reflect on why their efforts mattered," says Harden.

To find appropriate places to volunteer or organizations in need of volunteers, call your local United Way or social services agency. You can also contact churches, synagogues or mosques.

-- Plan a family field trip. Take advantage of early bird or after-5 p.m. prices at local museums, zoos and science centers, suggests Harden.

"With lower gas prices, drive around local neighborhoods to enjoy the holiday decorations," she says. "Top it off with pizza at a local eatery. Make a point to share observations when you get home. This type of family talk deepens channels of communication you'll want to keep open as your children grow older."

(Do you have a question about your child's education? Email it to Leanna@aplusadvice.com. Leanna Landsmann is an education writer who began her career as a classroom teacher. She has served on education commissions, visited classrooms in 49 states to observe best practices, and founded Principal for a Day in New York City.)

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