Q: My son, Malik, who is just finishing first grade, and another boy got into trouble at school. Their teacher sort of kicked them to get them to move faster in line and they reacted. Another teacher reported her and the principal got involved. It was stressful because no one believed the boys. The principal moved them to another teacher, whom Malik likes. But now Malik wants go to a different school. While I want to support him, and it would just be a transporation issue, should I let him?

A: I'm sorry Malik experienced this unfortunate incident in first grade. While he learned a couple of life lessons (even when we tell the truth, sometimes the adults we trust don't do the right things), those alone don't give a rising second-grader the wisdom to decide where to enroll in school.

It sounds like the principal acted decisively and Malik ended the school year in good hands. Meet with the principal, if you haven't already; discuss Malik's overall performance, your expectations for him and what teacher he'll have in the fall. This lets the principal know you want to stay closely involved, if you decide to keep Malik in this school.

Assuming that apart from this encounter you've been happy with the school, turn the incident into an opportunity to grow, says Diane Stephenson-Moe, an elementary counselor at Jeffers Hill Elementary School in Columbia, Maryland.

"Unless you've detected a lack of leadership or a pattern that suggests a troubled school," she says, "I don't see why one bad experience should be a reason to uproot him. When we allow children to run away from something unpleasant, it doesn't teach them skills such as resilience and problem solving."

Several factors should go into a decision to change schools. First, compare available options. How do they compare on academic performance and other factors that matter to you?

"Think about your child's needs and your family's needs and values," says Bill Jackson, the founder and CEO of GreatSchools. "Consider Malik's personality. Would he be better in a smaller school ... one with a special program that might engage him more fully? Does location matter? What are your before- and after-school care needs?"

List the pros and cons of your decision. Find further guidance at greatschools.org/gk/articles/choosing-a-school.

Life always throws us undesirable situations, "but we have to learn to deal with them," says Stephenson-Moe. "I understand that parents want to support their child -- that's good -- but I'm not comfortable giving a child this much say in such a big decision. Parents can oversupport to the point where we do children a disservice. We can't rescue and shield kids from every unpleasant experience in life."

Whatever you decide, take some time to help Malik reflect and put first grade in perspective, suggests Stephenson-Moe. Help him consider the year. What was his proudest moment and his toughest challenge? What was the most fun? What was something hard that he had to learn that he's now mastered? Who are the new friends he made?

All of this will help him see what he did to get better this school year and what he wants to get better at next school year.

(Do you have a question about your child's education? Email it to Leanna@aplusadvice.com. Leanna Landsmann is an education writer who began her career as a classroom teacher. She has served on education commissions, visited classrooms in 49 states to observe best practices, and founded Principal for a Day in New York City.)

Q: My son's first-grade teacher suggested that we have him tested for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), even though he's well above grade level. He has a hard time paying attention. She says he doesn't listen, talks with classmates and sometimes makes them mad. My cousin says he needs more discipline. I worry about him taking ADHD drugs. Should we test him?

A: When a young learner exhibits troubling behavior, parents encounter many perspectives on testing for ADHD -- from teachers, learning specialists, pediatricians or other parents. Everyone's got an opinion, some more helpful than others.

Your son's teacher is concerned about his ability to function socially and be successful in school. Most children get better at paying attention as they age, so if he's not showing progress, she's right to alert you. Making a diagnosis and coming up with a plan to modify the behavior is time-consuming and often a trial-and-error process.

First, do your homework. Websites like understood.org can be valuable resources. Many books also offer advice. Start with "Taking Charge of ADHD, Third Edition" (Guilford Press, 2013), "Smart But Scattered" (Guilford Press, 2009) and "Raising Boys With ADHD" (Prufrock Press, 2012).

Two, use any techniques from his teacher or from your research that might be helpful in managing his behavior, such as:

-- Make sure your son is close to you during activities like reading aloud or playing games, to make it easier for him to pay attention.

-- Give immediate and frequent consequences for negative or positive behaviors.

-- Give tangible rewards like tokens or play money that can be redeemed for cool stuff.

-- Break all tasks, especially projects, into smaller chunks. Describe concrete steps to him (e.g., how to tidy a room).

-- Use prompts and reminders, especially for rules and time intervals.

Three, prepare him for possible testing. An ADHD test usually involves observation forms completed by parents and the teacher and a visit to a pediatrician, who does an assessment and makes a diagnosis.

Many parents think ADHD means medication. Not necessarily. Attentional problems should always be addressed first through behavioral and environmental modifications. The doctor may make a recommendation for medication, but the decision to act on it always rests with the parents.

Before you consider any testing, document your son's behavioral patterns in various settings with a range of people; note differences where there may be different expectations or different stimuli. Observe him in restaurants, shopping malls, after-school activities or friends' houses. Can he read social cues from peers in these settings? Such difficulties can be signals for learning differences besides ADHD.

Parents must know their child well enough in different contexts and advocate for what he needs to do his best, says Susan Henry, a National Board Certified primary teacher in Massachusetts.

"Your goal, once you learn what factors help him pay attention and what sets him off, is to find ways to modify his activities, put in place counseling and other supports and reinforce appropriate behavior. This could include drug therapy."

But, she maintains, "Your intervention now will pay off later."

(Do you have a question about your child's education? Email it to Leanna@aplusadvice.com. Leanna Landsmann is an education writer who began her career as a classroom teacher. She has served on education commissions, visited classrooms in 49 states to observe best practices, and founded Principal for a Day in New York City.)

Q: Our kids, ages 7 and 10, brought home nice letters from teachers asking parents to read with their children this summer. Attached was a list of "40 books all kids should read before they're 12." Who makes these lists? How do we know if the books are worthwhile? What if we choose our own books?

A: Choosing your own books is just fine. It's reading that counts! The late California literacy leader Doris Dillon created grade-level-specific booklists for teachers to send home the last day of school. But she always added a note: "These are just suggestions. Nothing is required reading! Have fun creating and reading your very own list of summer favorites!"

Four decades of data show that summer reading keeps kids' skills sharp, especially when they freely choose the books they read. Stephen Krashen, professor emeritus at USC's Rossier School of Education, found that allowing kids to select titles not only improves their comprehension, it can also improve their spelling, writing and grammatical development.

Use compiled lists for ideas, says Carl Harvey, library media specialist at North Elementary School in Noblesville, Indiana.

"Review where the lists came from and who influenced them," he explains. "Some lists might leave off excellent books with controversial themes. Other lists may lean too heavy on the classics and ignore new titles. Many great children's books are available. Any 'should read' list is very subjective!"

With thousands of new children's and young adult titles published each year -- and thousands more on publisher backlists -- how do you identify books so compelling that kids won't want to turn off the lights (or power down the tablet) at bedtime?

Start with their interests, says Harvey.

"Parents often have an idealized notion of what kids should spend the summer reading," he says. "Does your son play 'Minecraft'? Look for a strategy book about it. Does your daughter love one author? Find other books by that writer. A captivating series is perfect for summer." (Most series' authors have websites that draw readers in.)

Let kids choose. Don't worry if it looks like "junk" to you, says Harvey.

"If your son love superheroes, encourage comics and graphic novels," he urges.

Expect trial and error in the selection process. At the library, let your kids choose an armful of books. Read those that click with them and return those that don't. You won't have any regrets. If you're downloading books, the same rules apply.

Don't rule out books because they're not the right age level, says Valerie Lewis, children's literature expert and co-founder of Hicklebee's Bookstore in San Jose, California.

"There's really no such thing as a '10-year-old and up' book," she says. "If your daughter chooses something she's emotionally not ready for, explain that it's a book for when she is older. But don't rule out scary books. We all survived 'Hansel and Gretel.'"

However, Harvey advises that if parents are concerned about a book's appropriateness, "The best way to decide is to read it themselves."

Meanwhile, continue to read aloud to your children, Harvey recommends. Summer is a good time to select a compelling book that's a stretch for them to read on their own. Stop at a "cliffhanger" point each evening. Reading aloud has tremendous benefits, not the least of which is quality time with Mom or Dad.