Q: My daughter got into a fight with some girls at school. We thought she'd be suspended, but the principal asked the girls involved to "make things right with those wronged." I wanted to ground her, but the principal advised against it, saying discussing it with her was better. Why?

A: The current "zero tolerance" discipline policies aren't working, so many schools instead use discipline techniques called "restorative practices." The theory is that students learn little from consequences, but should be required to think about their actions, consider how to be held accountable, and decide what they can do to repair and create healthier relationships.

In January, the U.S. Department of Education issued guidelines encouraging schools try restorative practices because districts using them have seen positive results.

The technique uses three questions to get kids thinking about the causes and effects of their behavior.

"When parents ask these questions, the trick is to keep emotions in check," says Marissa Gehley, a California student safety specialist and founder of Kids Need Our Wisdom (KNOW) Consulting. "Stay calm. Get the facts. Don't ask, 'Why?' which triggers emotions."

The first question is: What happened?

Perhaps your daughter says, "It was Reba's fault. She took my notebook, showed it to Melinda, so I shoved her to grab it back."

Remind her that you're talking about what she did, not her friends, says Gehley. Ask what she did before Reba took her notebook. Suppose your daughter tells you they were going to study hall.

At this point, you should clarify: "So you were headed to study hall. Reba took your notebook and passed it to Melinda. You shoved her and took it back."

Then, the next question is: Who else was affected?

Most kids say, "Nobody!" so ask your daughter to see the fight from another perspective. How many saw it? Who broke it up? Did anyone get hurt?

Ask her to imagine how other students felt. Assume a teacher broke it up. Ask how the actions might have affected the teacher.

"Students start to see their actions from others' perspectives," says Gehley.

The last restorative question is: How can you make this right?

"This often comes as a surprise, so listen carefully," advises Gehley. Your daughter may say she is embarrassed; she is sorry to disappoint you; she regrets hitting her friend; or she wishes it never happened.

Ask her what two or three things would help correct the situation. She might apologize to the teacher, reach out to her friends, or say that she should have simply asked Reba to return the notebook rather than react with force.

Don't be discouraged if the three questions don't go according to script with every situation, advises Gehley. The more you practice dispassionate questioning, the more effective it is.

"We can't 'suspend' our way to safer classrooms," says Gehley. "We need to teach kids relationship-building skills to build a more respectful culture in schools and at home. When they begin to use their brains rather than their brawn to solve problems, life gets better for everybody."

(To learn more about restorative practices, go to safersanerschools.org.)

(Do you have a question about your child's education? Email it to Leanna@aplusadvice.com. Leanna Landsmann is an education writer who began her career as a classroom teacher. She has served on education commissions, visited classrooms in 49 states to observe best practices, and founded Principal for a Day in New York City.)

Q: One thing I don't like about the Common Core is that it removed fiction from the curriculum. I'm a liberal arts graduate who loves reading fiction books each night to my children. What's wrong with that?

A: There's nothing wrong with that -- keep it up. But one evening after the kids are in bed, read up on the Common Core State Standards (CCSS) at corestandards.org. You'll learn that you're wrong. The Common Core provides for plenty of fiction reading. But it also encourages a shift in emphasis to nonfiction -- educators like to refer to it as "informational texts" -- especially in the higher grades.

"There is extensive research establishing the need for students to leave high school with much more proficiency in reading complex informational text -- nonfiction -- about real people, places and events," says educator Matt Gross, co-founder of Newsela, a daily news website for kids that offers high-interest nonfiction articles at five levels of complexity.

"One CCSS goal is to get students ready for college and careers," Gross explains. "Unless you're a literature major, a high percentage of college reading is nonfiction in every subject area. And as adults, most of what we read in our careers requires being able to comprehend informational text.

"Being a strong nonfiction reader requires different comprehension skills than fiction. Nonfiction texts such as autobiographies, biographies, essays, almanacs, research papers, maps, graphs and charts require readers to think critically, analyze, interpret and evaluate data and opinions."

Many elementary teachers pair fiction and nonfiction to teach content and concepts. This is especially true in elementary life sciences, where "hands-on" lessons aren't always feasible, safe or effective, says Melissa Stewart, co-author with Nancy Chesley of "Perfect Pairs: Using Fiction and Nonfiction Picture Books to Teach Life Science, K-2" (Stenhouse Publishers, 2014).

In a first-grade lesson on how animals protect themselves, they pair Leo Lionni's book "Swimmy" (Dragonfly Books, 1973), a fictional tale about a small fish who hatches a plan to stay safe in the ocean, with "What Do You Do When Something Wants to Eat You?" (Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Books, 2001), a captivating explanation of how animals protect themselves by noted science author and illustrator Steve Jenkins.

Teachers love it when parents add nonfiction into their reading choices at home. Choose books by authors with a true passion for their subjects, who can write authoritatively and imaginatively.

For example, award-winning science writer Sandra Markle, author of more than 200 children's books, went to the ends of the Earth -- Antarctica -- to research her book on penguins! Michael Patrick O'Neill travels the planet to take his eye-popping deep-sea photography. His goal? To get kids to read, write and discuss ocean science and conservation.

As students move up the grades, they'll find more nonfiction in all subjects. Passages in the 2009 fourth-grade National Assessment of Educational Progress test were split evenly between fiction and nonfiction. The eighth-grade test contained 45 percent fiction and 55 percent nonfiction; by 12th grade, the ratio was 30/70.

The Common Core doesn't sell fiction short, says Newsela's Gross. "Instead, it expands students' abilities to read nonfiction genres that are so important to succeed in life."

(Do you have a question about your child's education? Email it to Leanna@aplusadvice.com. Leanna Landsmann is an education writer who began her career as a classroom teacher. She has served on education commissions, visited classrooms in 49 states to observe best practices, and founded Principal for a Day in New York City.)

Q: My third-grade granddaughter lives with me. At parents' night, her teacher asked everyone to send her a text in order to go on a reminder list to receive class information. I felt uncomfortable signing up, due to privacy issues. Is this the new way educators communicate with families?

A: It's not the only way, but many teachers are using technology to reach parents. The service your granddaughter's teacher mentioned sounds like a free app called Remind. It allows teachers to send one-way messages via SMS, thereby delivering notifications to everyone involved with the class.

Ask your granddaughter's teacher about the app she plans to use. If it is Remind, that app's terms of service say that personal contact information is never seen by teachers or the school. If it's a different tool or app, make sure it has a similar privacy policy before signing up.

Dionne Hansen, a Seattle mom of two elementary-age kids, appreciates the Remind service.

"It's convenient to get a text from the teacher reminding me of something, rather than wade through my son's backpack for a paper he might have tossed," she says.

Jill Warner, a Nokesville, Virginia, middle-school science teacher, sends texts to parents and students about assignments, when reports are due and to alert them about upcoming tests.

"Eighth-graders don't want to talk with their parents about school, so this little app gets the information home," she explains.

Tech-savvy teachers use other tools, too. Edmodo is a learning network app that allows teachers to send assignments to students and to accept completed assignments digitally. It also allows teachers to create interactive quizzes and share content such as videos. Students can talk to their whole classroom as part of a group, or one-on-one with teachers, but not directly to each other. Parents can follow what their children are working on and receive broadcast messages from the teacher.

While many schools still block Facebook, which was "once considered inappropriate for classroom use, Facebook and Twitter are becoming commonplace in schools," says Michael Sharnoff, associate online editor at eSchool News. "Teachers use Twitter to engage students on lessons and assignments, and parents follow teacher accounts to stay connected."

Sharnoff says that more and more teachers are creating classroom Facebook pages to discuss and keep up with assignments and projects and to post content, including images and video, without length restrictions.

With the decrease in funding for school field trips, teachers turn to Skype for virtual field trips and "meetings" with interesting people around the globe.

Buzzmob, a mobile app launched in California schools in 2013, connects administrators, teachers and parents with the ability to chat, share tips and photos, and send out vital information in real time. Sharnoff says that the app's "GPS-aware function syncs with your current location and connects you with people around you."

So, say you're picking up your son, and his class is doing a project outside. The GPS function lets you know the minute you set foot on campus. This is particularly useful in case of an emergency.

While these apps facilitate communication with parents, they aren't a substitute for getting to know your child's teacher. Establish a personal relationship so that when it's time for a one-on-one conversation about your child, you'll have a strong foundation to work from.

(Do you have a question about your child's education? Email it to Leanna@aplusadvice.com. Leanna Landsmann is an education writer who began her career as a classroom teacher. She has served on education commissions, visited classrooms in 49 states to observe best practices, and founded Principal for a Day in New York City.)