Q: Teachers urge parents to talk with their kids about school each day, but my 9- and 10-year-old boys just give me one-word answers. I would love to have conversations with them. How?

A: You're right: Educators, school psychologists and administrators tout the benefits of checking in with your kids through casual conversation. You can learn about what excites them, who they're hanging out with and why, which teachers are as tough as nails and who's a bully on the bus. Daily conversations also build vocabulary, reinforce concepts taught and model oral language skills.

"Casual conversations about school let your children know you're interested in their most important job -- being a responsible student," says Shirley Harden, a retired Maryland principal who coaches parents. She says that once you get the hang of skillful questioning, it will become easy and fun and your boys will start remembering things to tell you when they get home.

Try these tips to engage your boys.

-- Pick a good time to talk. If you ask, "How was school?" the minute they walk in the door, you will likely hear, "OK. What's to eat?"

Let kids decompress and follow their after-school routines, such as eating a snack, playing, doing homework and having dinner. Talk during a meal, while watching TV or before bedtime.

"Some of the best conversations come during family reading time, or other nightly rituals," says Harden. "Kids are relaxed, and if they're excited about a topic they'll want to tell you, and if they're worried about something it will likely surface."

-- Don't ask, "How was school today?" Avoid questions that elicit one-word answers. Instead, ask: Who did you meet today? What are the biggest differences between school this year and last year? Tell me what surprised you today? Which classmates did you sit with at lunch? What do you think your teacher will ask tomorrow? What questions did you ask your teacher today?

"Try to start a conversation that raises topics you can come back to in the following days," says Harden.

-- Focus on the positive. Asking, "What is the best thing about your class schedule?" will give you more insight into the school day than, "Do you still have to rush to get from gym class to reading?" Positive questions can still give your child a chance to express concerns, says Harden, while negative questions can shut down a conversation.

-- Ask questions that get kids to think. Say you're reviewing your fifth-grader's social studies homework. It's better to ask, "What factors led to the Civil War?" than to ask, "What year did the Civil War start?" The former question tests for conceptual understanding. If your son has that, he probably knows the answer to the latter.

-- Focus on facts rather than emotions. Ask, "What was the most interesting thing the new substitute teacher said today?" rather than, "Is your substitute teacher nice?"

-- Be a patient listener. Kids (and adults) often need time to formulate their responses, so ask your question and then wait.

"Don't rush to fill the void," advises Harden. "Let them think through their answers."

(Do you have a question about your child's education? Email it to Leanna@aplusadvice.com. Leanna Landsmann is an education writer who began her career as a classroom teacher. She has served on education commissions, visited classrooms in 49 states to observe best practices, and founded Principal for a Day in New York City.)

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Q: At our son's middle-school orientation, the principal asked parents to help teens develop the "habits of mind" of good students. It sounded great, but when I got home I wondered what she meant. Does she mean study skills?

A: Not exclusively. To be sure, study skills, such as the ability to focus on a task, manage one's time and take responsibility for assignments, help students succeed. But I'm betting that she means more than just turning in homework on time or getting the right answers on a math test.

This principal wants students to develop skills that will help them when they don't know the answers, suggests Dr. Arthur L. Costa, emeritus professor of education at California State University, Sacramento.

"It means having a disposition toward behaving intelligently when confronted with problems, the answers to which are not immediately known: dichotomies, dilemmas, enigmas and uncertainties," he says.

Costa and his colleague, Bena Kallick, identified 16 "habits of mind" (www.habitsofmindinstitute.org) that help students become effective, curious lifelong learners. They include:

-- persistence

-- thinking and communicating with clarity and precision

-- managing impulsivity

-- gathering data through all senses

-- listening with understanding and empathy

-- creating, imagining, innovating

-- thinking flexibly

-- responding with wonderment and awe

-- thinking about thinking (metacognition)

-- taking responsible risks

-- striving for accuracy

-- finding humor

-- questioning and posing problems

-- thinking interdependently

-- applying past knowledge to new situations

-- remaining open to continuous learning

Many school district leaders find that teaching these "habits of mind provide a well-researched approach for college and career readiness," says Margo Ulmer, a school board president in Naples, New York. "We know that mastering content is only one aspect of academic success."

Educators like Carol Dweck of Stanford University and Angela Duckworth of the University of Pennsylvania are applying the findings of other researchers. They've shown in separate studies how attitudes and character traits such as grit, self-control, goal-orientation and a growth mindset (a belief that one's abilities can be developed through effort and hard work) can trump IQ in learning. Paul Tough describes their research in "How Children Succeed: Grit, Curiosity and the Hidden Power of Character" (Mariner Books, 2013).

When students develop these habits of mind in middle school, says Ulmer, "they increase their ability to persevere, reason, research and solve problems. They become stronger students in high school and have an easier transition to college work. They also have a foundation for the collaborative, problem-solving work required in many of today's careers."

These habits are especially important in STEM (science, technology, engineering and math) subjects, says researcher Ryan Stowe of Scripps Research Institute in Jupiter, Florida, which conducts biomedical research. Stowe works with STEM teachers in Palm Beach County.

"Content knowledge, like knowing the definition of a molecule, is important, but equally important is acquiring a scientific disposition," he says. "The real world is a messy, inexact place where one is often confronted with nebulous situations for which no easy solutions exist. When we teach students to tackle these scenarios in a thoughtful manner, they learn to think like a scientist. Such a disposition predisposes one to seek uncertainty, learn from failure and be comfortable with ambiguity."

(Do you have a question about your child's education? Email it to Leanna@aplusadvice.com. Leanna Landsmann is an education writer who began her career as a classroom teacher. She has served on education commissions, visited classrooms in 49 states to observe best practices, and founded Principal for a Day in New York City.)

Q: My 12-year-old is part of the "Google it" generation when she has to research reports. Some of the stuff she finds (and thinks is true) is just goofy. Should we invest in an encyclopedia for her? What kinds of reference materials should parents provide for kids?

A: There is an assumption among digital natives that a quick Google search and a Wikipedia entry will give them all the information they need, says Carl Harvey, library media specialist at North Elementary School in Noblesville, Indiana.

"It can be a start," he says, "but educators work hard to teach students to take the next step -- verify that the information is accurate. It's an important skill. We want students to learn that not everything you read on the Internet is true and that good researchers check multiple sources. We love it when parents reinforce this at home."

Students should have access to a reputable encyclopedia for homework. Before you purchase a set or a digital subscription, check with your school librarian, suggests Harvey.

"Many schools allow students to log in to digital encyclopedias and other online databases from home with their passwords," he says. "For example, Indiana provides access to an encyclopedia and many other online databases in their INSPIRE database. Any resident has access."

Many public libraries provide members with access to online encyclopedias with login/passwords for accessing them from home as well, says Harvey.

"We are open for homework hours," says Blanche Warner, a library manager in Naples, New York. "We work closely with our schools to have resources available to students. If seventh-graders are researching the local ecosystem, we are ready with maps, charts, books, photos and digital resources."

If you're thinking of purchasing an encyclopedia, look at World Book and Britannica, suggests Harvey. He leans toward digital subscriptions because they're less expensive and "information is updated as the need arises, where a book is only updated at the next printing."

Your choice -- digital or paper -- depends on your budget and your objective, says Mike Ross, an executive at Encyclopaedia Britannica.

"Some parents purchase a digital subscription to Britannica, along with a print set of Britannica Kids," he says. "The digital multimedia products are easy to search and always current. But those enticing volumes on the shelf invite browsing and kick-start a kid's curiosity when she pulls one out to read."

Every child should have a print children's dictionary, says El Paso, Texas, elementary educator Lisa Schoenbrun.

"Children learn more about words and their histories when they look them up in a dictionary than when they simply type the word into a database," she says. "Look up 'handbag' and on the pages your daughter will also discover 'handball,' 'handbook,' 'handcuffs,' 'handful,' 'handicap,' 'handicraft,' 'hand-me-down,' 'handstand.' Having a dictionary on hand helps build vocabulary."

Other reference books such as almanacs and atlases are inexpensive, motivating resources that add knowledge in bits, says Harvey.

"TIME For Kids, National Geographic and World Almanac publish annually," he says. "A series like the 'TIME For Kids Big Book of Why' is fun reading. Put these books where the whole family can browse and start conversations that lead to new learning."

(Do you have a question about your child's education? Email it to Leanna@aplusadvice.com. Leanna Landsmann is an education writer who began her career as a classroom teacher. She has served on education commissions, visited classrooms in 49 states to observe best practices, and founded Principal for a Day in New York City.)