Q: I took my second-grade son to his classroom on the first day of school to explain things about him to his teacher. She waved me off and said she was really looking forward to having him in class and that it would be a good year for him. She suggested I make an appointment to discuss concerns. I felt dissed. Don't teachers want parental involvement?

A: Oh, they do! They just can't engage quite that deeply on the first day of school in a room buzzing with 20 unaccompanied kids looking for their desks and cubbies.

Don't feel dissed. Your son's teacher handled you very professionally, says Frederick Lilly, a retired California principal who made strong communication between home and school a priority.

The teacher sent important messages: One, a new year is a fresh start -- a time to think "success"; two, she'd done her homework on her incoming class; and three, she said she'd happily work with you when she could give you her full attention.

Perhaps most important, she was also encouraging you to allow your son to make his way on his own. Teaching your second-grader to function independently is an important parental job, says Donna Adkins, an Arkansas educator and greatschools.org adviser.

Adkins suggests establishing daily routines your son can follow. Typical independence goals for second-graders include knowing how to get ready for bed and for school, where to go when entering the school, and what to do when arriving in the classroom.

For more advice from Adkins on second-grade expectations (and grade-level expectations for kindergarten through grade six), go to greatschools.org.

If you want to get off on the right foot with your child's teacher this school year, ask the $64,000 question: "How can I help you help my child succeed this year?"

Many primary teachers will respond by asking parents to read with their children regularly. "This is essential," says Massachusetts reading expert Keith Garton. "Young readers need lots of practice to become fluent, and there's no way to provide kids enough practice time during the school day."

Parents expect that a child learning a sport or a musical instrument needs to practice. "It's no different with reading," says Garton. He began writing "Funny Bone Readers," humorous stories about character development, in response to parents' desires to read short, whimsical books with a message with their kids. (Go to redchairpress.com.)

In upper elementary and middle school, teachers may suggest helping your children develop study and organizational skills or limiting TV, gaming or other screen time.

"Whatever the teacher's response," says Lilly, "listen and take it to heart. You'll have learned something about the teacher's priorities."

By asking how you can support the teacher's efforts, you will have signaled early in the school year that you want a good working relationship.

You'll have opened the door to ongoing communication and set the stage for the first parent conference. And you'll have launched a partnership that will pay off for your child all year long.

(Do you have a question about your child's education? Email it to Leanna@aplusadvice.com. Leanna Landsmann is an education writer who began her career as a classroom teacher. She has served on education commissions, visited classrooms in 49 states to observe best practices, and founded Principal for a Day in New York City.)

Q: My brother-in-law, an engineer from Poland, argues that good American schools aren't as good as we think. I believe that the United States does poorly in international rankings because urban districts drag down the scores. He says I'm naive. My kids are in a highly rated school. Should I worry?

A: Don't worry, but don't be complacent either. Your children may be achieving at high levels, and if they are, kudos to them and their teachers. However, international comparisons from the 2012 Program for International Student Assessment (PISA) show that it's not just disadvantaged students who rank poorly. American students from educated families lag in international rankings too.

Secretary of Education Arne Duncan, in discussing the PISA results, calls them a "picture of educational stagnation. ... Fifteen-year-olds in the U.S. today are average in science and reading literacy, and below average in mathematics, compared to their counterparts in (other industrialized) countries."

The PISA results show that educational shortcomings in the United States are everyone's problem, says Eric Hanushek, senior fellow at Stanford University's Hoover Institution.

Hanushek, along with Paul Peterson, the director of the Program on Education Policy and Governance at Harvard University, and Ludger Woessmann, a professor of economics at the University of Munich, dug deep into data from PISA and the National Assessment of Educational Progress (NAEP). They looked at math and science test scores as well as the performance of students from families of low, moderate and high education levels.

Their May 2014 report, "Not Just the Problems of Other People's Children," is a wake-up call.

The report focuses on math because, they say, "the U.S. economic strength has been built in large part through its record of invention and innovation, things that themselves depend upon the U.S. historic strength in science, technical, engineering and math fields (STEM)."

These fields depend on "students who have developed advanced skill in math and science in school."

In an abridged version of the study found online, they write: "When viewed from a global perspective, U.S. schools seem to do as badly teaching those from better-educated families as they do teaching those from less well-educated families.

"Overall, the U.S. proficiency rate in math (35 percent) places the country at the 27th rank among the 34 OECD (Organization for Economic Co-operation and Development) countries that participated in the Program for International Student Assessment (PISA). That ranking is somewhat lower for students from advantaged backgrounds (28th) than for those from disadvantaged ones (20th)."

There are multiple countries with higher math proficiency rates among students from better-educated families. They include Korea (73 percent), Poland (71 percent), Japan (68 percent), Switzerland (65 percent), Germany (64 percent) and Canada (57 percent), compared to 43 percent for U.S. students.

"Many people assume that students coming from families with high education levels are keeping up with their peers abroad," and there are some bright spots, note the authors. Such students from Massachusetts, Vermont, Minnesota, Colorado, New Jersey and Montana have a proficiency rate of 58 percent or higher.

"But students from these states are a small portion of the U.S. student population, and other states rank much lower down the international list. In many places, students from highly educated families are performing well below the OECD average for similarly advantaged students."

Find the abridged version of the report at educationnext.org/us-students-educated-families-lag-international-tests, or the full version at hks.harvard.edu/pepg/PDF/Papers/PEPG14_01_NotJust.pdf.

(Do you have a question about your child's education? Email it to Leanna@aplusadvice.com. Leanna Landsmann is an education writer who began her career as a classroom teacher. She has served on education commissions, visited classrooms in 49 states to observe best practices, and founded Principal for a Day in New York City.)

Q: I'm a high school math teacher who did three days of professional development to "prepare kids for STEM (science, technology, engineering, math) careers." What a waste. The curriculum director droned on and showed videos. Are there programs where teachers can get hands-on experience in STEM jobs?

A: The STEM education movement asks teachers to get kids ready "to participate in a 21st-century workforce." Yet professional development rarely connects educators to people in STEM careers.

That's changing. Innovative partnerships are popping up that make it easier for teachers to connect with STEM professionals who can serve as classroom resources.

The Architectural Foundation of San Francisco created a program called "Designing Student Success." It offers teachers paid summer externships that place them side by side with working professionals in STEM businesses. AFSF Executive Director Alan Sandler says teachers go back to class eager to show students how STEM subjects are used in real-world projects.

"In our pilot, we learned that the model works well across disciplines and appeals to a wide range of teachers," says Sandler. "Teachers say that the experience changes how they organize classrooms and design lessons.

"For example, Common Core emphasizes the skill of collaboration. When teachers see how architects work in teams to solve a big design problem, they are better able to put collaboration in context for students."

Sandler is expanding the program to other cities.

Palm Beach County science teachers can apply for paid summer research internships at Scripps Florida (part of the nonprofit Scripps Research Institute, which conducts studies on biomedical science and technology, among other subjects), funded by the William R. Kenan Jr. Charitable Trust. They become part of a team conducting basic biomedical research under the supervision of a Scripps scientist.

Scripps Florida Education Outreach Director Deborah Leach-Scampavia says the program exposes teachers to laboratory procedures, provides insight into biomedical topics and forges ties to working scientists, who can assist with curriculum or become mentors.

"It's great to see each class of interns take their learning back to school to share with both peers and students," she says.

Bruce Capron, assistant superintendent of the Honeoye Falls-Lima Central School District in upstate New York, thinks that districts have an obligation to bring teachers together with STEM professionals.

"We have to find ways to hurdle the time and financial constraints," he says. "We're working in partnership with the Empire STEM Network to connect our teachers with area STEM professionals, ranging from health researchers and engineers to physicists, geologists and hydrologists. Through workshops, they work together to create rich lessons that are relevant to real-world problems." (Go to empirestem-fl.org for more information.)

Capron left a successful career in engineering to become a school administrator because he wanted to "help align schooling with the world students will find when they leave it."

While teachers can find many terrific STEM resources online, Capron says it's worth the time to set up these partnerships so educators can meet individuals with STEM skills in business and higher education.

"We owe it to teachers to open these doors," he says. "We've found that STEM professionals are eager to work with teachers and students. They want to share their enthusiasm and expertise."

(Do you have a question about your child's education? Email it to Leanna@aplusadvice.com. Leanna Landsmann is an education writer who began her career as a classroom teacher. She has served on education commissions, visited classrooms in 49 states to observe best practices, and founded Principal for a Day in New York City.)