Q: My brother-in-law, an engineer from Poland, argues that good American schools aren't as good as we think. I believe that the United States does poorly in international rankings because urban districts drag down the scores. He says I'm naive. My kids are in a highly rated school. Should I worry?

A: Don't worry, but don't be complacent either. Your children may be achieving at high levels, and if they are, kudos to them and their teachers. However, international comparisons from the 2012 Program for International Student Assessment (PISA) show that it's not just disadvantaged students who rank poorly. American students from educated families lag in international rankings too.

Secretary of Education Arne Duncan, in discussing the PISA results, calls them a "picture of educational stagnation. ... Fifteen-year-olds in the U.S. today are average in science and reading literacy, and below average in mathematics, compared to their counterparts in (other industrialized) countries."

The PISA results show that educational shortcomings in the United States are everyone's problem, says Eric Hanushek, senior fellow at Stanford University's Hoover Institution.

Hanushek, along with Paul Peterson, the director of the Program on Education Policy and Governance at Harvard University, and Ludger Woessmann, a professor of economics at the University of Munich, dug deep into data from PISA and the National Assessment of Educational Progress (NAEP). They looked at math and science test scores as well as the performance of students from families of low, moderate and high education levels.

Their May 2014 report, "Not Just the Problems of Other People's Children," is a wake-up call.

The report focuses on math because, they say, "the U.S. economic strength has been built in large part through its record of invention and innovation, things that themselves depend upon the U.S. historic strength in science, technical, engineering and math fields (STEM)."

These fields depend on "students who have developed advanced skill in math and science in school."

In an abridged version of the study found online, they write: "When viewed from a global perspective, U.S. schools seem to do as badly teaching those from better-educated families as they do teaching those from less well-educated families.

"Overall, the U.S. proficiency rate in math (35 percent) places the country at the 27th rank among the 34 OECD (Organization for Economic Co-operation and Development) countries that participated in the Program for International Student Assessment (PISA). That ranking is somewhat lower for students from advantaged backgrounds (28th) than for those from disadvantaged ones (20th)."

There are multiple countries with higher math proficiency rates among students from better-educated families. They include Korea (73 percent), Poland (71 percent), Japan (68 percent), Switzerland (65 percent), Germany (64 percent) and Canada (57 percent), compared to 43 percent for U.S. students.

"Many people assume that students coming from families with high education levels are keeping up with their peers abroad," and there are some bright spots, note the authors. Such students from Massachusetts, Vermont, Minnesota, Colorado, New Jersey and Montana have a proficiency rate of 58 percent or higher.

"But students from these states are a small portion of the U.S. student population, and other states rank much lower down the international list. In many places, students from highly educated families are performing well below the OECD average for similarly advantaged students."

Find the abridged version of the report at educationnext.org/us-students-educated-families-lag-international-tests, or the full version at hks.harvard.edu/pepg/PDF/Papers/PEPG14_01_NotJust.pdf.

(Do you have a question about your child's education? Email it to Leanna@aplusadvice.com. Leanna Landsmann is an education writer who began her career as a classroom teacher. She has served on education commissions, visited classrooms in 49 states to observe best practices, and founded Principal for a Day in New York City.)

Q: I'm a high school math teacher who did three days of professional development to "prepare kids for STEM (science, technology, engineering, math) careers." What a waste. The curriculum director droned on and showed videos. Are there programs where teachers can get hands-on experience in STEM jobs?

A: The STEM education movement asks teachers to get kids ready "to participate in a 21st-century workforce." Yet professional development rarely connects educators to people in STEM careers.

That's changing. Innovative partnerships are popping up that make it easier for teachers to connect with STEM professionals who can serve as classroom resources.

The Architectural Foundation of San Francisco created a program called "Designing Student Success." It offers teachers paid summer externships that place them side by side with working professionals in STEM businesses. AFSF Executive Director Alan Sandler says teachers go back to class eager to show students how STEM subjects are used in real-world projects.

"In our pilot, we learned that the model works well across disciplines and appeals to a wide range of teachers," says Sandler. "Teachers say that the experience changes how they organize classrooms and design lessons.

"For example, Common Core emphasizes the skill of collaboration. When teachers see how architects work in teams to solve a big design problem, they are better able to put collaboration in context for students."

Sandler is expanding the program to other cities.

Palm Beach County science teachers can apply for paid summer research internships at Scripps Florida (part of the nonprofit Scripps Research Institute, which conducts studies on biomedical science and technology, among other subjects), funded by the William R. Kenan Jr. Charitable Trust. They become part of a team conducting basic biomedical research under the supervision of a Scripps scientist.

Scripps Florida Education Outreach Director Deborah Leach-Scampavia says the program exposes teachers to laboratory procedures, provides insight into biomedical topics and forges ties to working scientists, who can assist with curriculum or become mentors.

"It's great to see each class of interns take their learning back to school to share with both peers and students," she says.

Bruce Capron, assistant superintendent of the Honeoye Falls-Lima Central School District in upstate New York, thinks that districts have an obligation to bring teachers together with STEM professionals.

"We have to find ways to hurdle the time and financial constraints," he says. "We're working in partnership with the Empire STEM Network to connect our teachers with area STEM professionals, ranging from health researchers and engineers to physicists, geologists and hydrologists. Through workshops, they work together to create rich lessons that are relevant to real-world problems." (Go to empirestem-fl.org for more information.)

Capron left a successful career in engineering to become a school administrator because he wanted to "help align schooling with the world students will find when they leave it."

While teachers can find many terrific STEM resources online, Capron says it's worth the time to set up these partnerships so educators can meet individuals with STEM skills in business and higher education.

"We owe it to teachers to open these doors," he says. "We've found that STEM professionals are eager to work with teachers and students. They want to share their enthusiasm and expertise."

(Do you have a question about your child's education? Email it to Leanna@aplusadvice.com. Leanna Landsmann is an education writer who began her career as a classroom teacher. She has served on education commissions, visited classrooms in 49 states to observe best practices, and founded Principal for a Day in New York City.)

Q: Our school district is doing Family Day (Sept. 22). The organizer, who wants me to lead our school's effort, says that kids whose families eat meals together do better in school and are less likely to become obese. Is that true? If so, more families might make the effort.

A: With many parents working full-time and juggling kids' after-school schedules, family dinners at home may be going the way of landlines. And that would be a shame, say folks at the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse (CASA) at Columbia University, the organizers of Family Day.

CASA has tracked family eating patterns for nearly two decades. Its studies suggest that children who eat dinner often with their families are more likely to get better grades, have fewer school absences, be less bored, experience less stress and feel closer to family members than children who share meals with parents infrequently. Teens who have dinner with parents five or more times a week are also less likely to have problems with drugs and alcohol.

There is a nutritional benefit as well, says historian Cody Delistraty. In a recent article in The Atlantic ("The Importance of Eating Together"), he cites research showing that kids who don't eat dinner with their parents at least twice a week are 40 percent more likely to be overweight compared to those who do.

But Family Day isn't just about dinner.

"I'm a fan of what Family Day seeks to accomplish because it's basically about being present in kids' lives, being there to listen when they want to tell you something," says California youth counselor Marissa Gehley, founder of KNOW (Kids Need Our Wisdom) Consulting. "Driving your teen to hockey practice, cleaning up the kitchen after dinner, shopping for school supplies or getting your kindergartner ready for bed -- all are great casual opportunities to check in with your kids and really hear and respond to what they're thinking."

The trick is to be a smart questioner and a patient listener, says Gehley. She suggests that your conversations will bring your kids closer if you try the following:

-- Ease into communication. Don't pepper kids with questions right after school or the minute they get into the car or sit down for supper.

-- Avoid questions that elicit a yes or no answer. Instead, try: Why do you think ...? ... Tell me about ... What do you see? ... Why do you suppose? ... How did this compare with ...?

-- Ask questions because you're genuinely excited about their answers. "Kids know when you're nagging and they'll clam up," says Gehley.

-- Give kids time to think before responding. "Teachers call this 'wait time,'" Gehley says, "and while it may be a little frustrating to you, it's important."

-- Don't substitute texting for talking. "When you set the dinner table, remember: It's not fork, knife and cellphone," says Gehley. "Make the dinner table a tech-free zone. You can't focus on your kids if you're listening for the ping of texts and emails arriving on your phone."

(Do you have a question about your child's education? Email it to Leanna@aplusadvice.com. Leanna Landsmann is an education writer who began her career as a classroom teacher. She has served on education commissions, visited classrooms in 49 states to observe best practices, and founded Principal for a Day in New York City.)