Q: Our school district is doing Family Day (Sept. 22). The organizer, who wants me to lead our school's effort, says that kids whose families eat meals together do better in school and are less likely to become obese. Is that true? If so, more families might make the effort.

A: With many parents working full-time and juggling kids' after-school schedules, family dinners at home may be going the way of landlines. And that would be a shame, say folks at the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse (CASA) at Columbia University, the organizers of Family Day.

CASA has tracked family eating patterns for nearly two decades. Its studies suggest that children who eat dinner often with their families are more likely to get better grades, have fewer school absences, be less bored, experience less stress and feel closer to family members than children who share meals with parents infrequently. Teens who have dinner with parents five or more times a week are also less likely to have problems with drugs and alcohol.

There is a nutritional benefit as well, says historian Cody Delistraty. In a recent article in The Atlantic ("The Importance of Eating Together"), he cites research showing that kids who don't eat dinner with their parents at least twice a week are 40 percent more likely to be overweight compared to those who do.

But Family Day isn't just about dinner.

"I'm a fan of what Family Day seeks to accomplish because it's basically about being present in kids' lives, being there to listen when they want to tell you something," says California youth counselor Marissa Gehley, founder of KNOW (Kids Need Our Wisdom) Consulting. "Driving your teen to hockey practice, cleaning up the kitchen after dinner, shopping for school supplies or getting your kindergartner ready for bed -- all are great casual opportunities to check in with your kids and really hear and respond to what they're thinking."

The trick is to be a smart questioner and a patient listener, says Gehley. She suggests that your conversations will bring your kids closer if you try the following:

-- Ease into communication. Don't pepper kids with questions right after school or the minute they get into the car or sit down for supper.

-- Avoid questions that elicit a yes or no answer. Instead, try: Why do you think ...? ... Tell me about ... What do you see? ... Why do you suppose? ... How did this compare with ...?

-- Ask questions because you're genuinely excited about their answers. "Kids know when you're nagging and they'll clam up," says Gehley.

-- Give kids time to think before responding. "Teachers call this 'wait time,'" Gehley says, "and while it may be a little frustrating to you, it's important."

-- Don't substitute texting for talking. "When you set the dinner table, remember: It's not fork, knife and cellphone," says Gehley. "Make the dinner table a tech-free zone. You can't focus on your kids if you're listening for the ping of texts and emails arriving on your phone."

(Do you have a question about your child's education? Email it to Leanna@aplusadvice.com. Leanna Landsmann is an education writer who began her career as a classroom teacher. She has served on education commissions, visited classrooms in 49 states to observe best practices, and founded Principal for a Day in New York City.)

Q: My 5-year old daughter, Illana, has been so excited about starting kindergarten, but suddenly she cries when we talk about it and insists she's staying home with her sister. She loved preschool, so I don't get it. How can we get her ready for her first day?

A: Many children, even those with preschool experience, get last-minute "kindergarten jitters," says Shirley Harden, a retired Maryland principal who coaches parents on supporting their children's school success. She offers these tips:

-- If possible, visit Illana's school before classes begin. "Often principals encourage kindergartners to come for a sneak peek to see their classroom, cafeteria and other rooms," says Harden. "During your walk-through, point out bulletin boards and displays. Even show her the bathrooms, so she's familiar with the facilities."

-- Probe her worries. Because parents make the first day a big deal, kids may develop unwarranted concerns, says Harden. "Talk through any fears and put them to rest," she says. "Explain how her day will go and what she will do after school to allay concerns about how she gets home." Tell her about first-day jitters in your life, such as a new job. Explain that it's normal to have anxieties about new things.

-- Read books about starting kindergarten. "There are some really funny ones," says Blanche Warner, a library manager in Naples, New York. "Librarians have them ready in August."

Warner suggests these time-tested titles:

-- "A Place Called Kindergarten" (Puffin, 2008) by Jessica Harper. Tommy's animal friends become alarmed when they learn Tommy has gone to a place called "kindergarten."

-- "Countdown to Kindergarten" (HMH Books for Young Readers; 2006) by Alison McGhee and Harry Bliss. Ten days before school starts, a new kindergartner can't tie her shoes and fears the worst.

-- "Jake Starts School" (Square Fish, 2010) by Michael Wright. A boy worries about staying at school without his parents.

-- "Kindergarten Rocks!" (HMH Books for Young Readers, 2008) by Katie Davis. Dexter isn't scared to start school, but his stuffed dog, Rufus, is terrified!

-- "Late for School!" (Carolrhoda Books, 2013) by Stephanie Calmenson and Sachiko Yoshikawa. A teacher oversleeps and is late for the first day.

-- "Look Out Kindergarten, Here I Come!" (Puffin 2001) by Nancy Carlson. Henry looks forward to kindergarten, but he isn't sure about staying once he gets there.

-- "Miss Bindergarten Gets Ready for Kindergarten" (Puffin, 2001) by Joseph Slate and Ashley Wolff. This book introduces the alphabet as Miss Bindergarten and her students get ready for kindergarten.

-- "On the Way to Kindergarten" (Puffin, 2008) by Virginia Kroll and Elizabeth Schlossberg. This picture book helps parents show their kindergartner all of her accomplishments in the past five years.

Make a plan to support Illana's learning all year. Include daily activities such as reading each night, reinforcing social and emotional skills needed in school, and talking about a range of topics to develop oral language and a strong vocabulary. Find ways to connect math and science concepts to daily life by using science and math vocabulary; for example, "Today's weather brought rain. Let's measure how much rain we got." Encourage active play and limit screen time.

Introduce yourself to her teacher and offer your support, says Harden. "That way," she says, "should a problem arise, you'll have a working partnership from day one."

(Do you have a question about your child's education? Email it to Leanna@aplusadvice.com. Leanna Landsmann is an education writer who began her career as a classroom teacher. She has served on education commissions, visited classrooms in 49 states to observe best practices, and founded Principal for a Day in New York City.)

Q: My 8-year-old son's teacher suggests evaluating him for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder because he is unfocused and distractible. While he's more fidgety than his sister, he can sit transfixed all day on video games. Could video games cause these inattentive behaviors?

A: There is no evidence that TV or video games cause ADHD, yet super-fast-paced TV shows and video games have a special appeal for kids who have ADHD, says Dr. Natalie Weder, a child and adolescent psychiatrist at the Child Mind Institute (childmind.org).

"If you think about 'SpongeBob,' or a video game, there's never a second when there's nothing happening on the screen," she says. "If you're playing a video game, you have to immediately respond; otherwise, you lose. You don't have time to think.

"Kids with ADHD are very drawn to that because it makes them have to pay attention. There are no gaps for them to start thinking about something else."

When kids are absorbed in video games, they aren't displaying the kind of attention required by day-to-day tasks, such as getting ready for school or finishing an assignment.

While it may appear your son shows sustained attention in a video game, "the truth is that the task is changing so rapidly, short bursts of attention are all that's involved," says Dr. Ron Steingard, also a child psychiatrist at the Child Mind Institute. "These games are constantly shifting focus, and there is instant gratification and reward."

If your son is "transfixed all day" on games, change your parenting game plan. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends no more than an hour per day of total media screen time for elementary school-age children.

That much screen time means time not spent doing other things more valuable for their development, notes Weder. "It takes time away from doing more creative or more learning-based activities, and from interaction with family and friends that helps them with their social skills."

If you decide to get him evaluated, know that the process isn't an exact science. First, talk with his teacher and school specialists to gather more information on why they made the suggestion. Next, do your homework to learn the definition of ADHD. Become familiar with the debate about over-diagnosis and over-prescribing of drugs.

There are reputable websites that describe the evaluation and diagnosis process, such as the American Academy of Pediatrics (healthychildren.org); the Child Mind Institute, (childmind.org); the National Institute of Mental Health, (nimh.nih.gov); and the National Resource Center on AD/HD (help4adhd.org).

Then visit your pediatrician for a screening to rule out any physical conditions, such as hearing problems. If you're confident that your pediatrician has experience with ADHD, he or she may be able to evaluate your son. If not, ask for a referral to an ADHD specialist -- a neurologist, child psychiatrist, child psychologist or licensed counselor who has deep experience and can apply it to your son's case.

In the meantime, cut back on video games. At an age when developing social skills is critically important, "no kid should spend unlimited time sitting in front of a screen in lieu of playing with other kids," says Steingard.

(Do you have a question about your child's education? Email it to Leanna@aplusadvice.com. Leanna Landsmann is an education writer who began her career as a classroom teacher. She has served on education commissions, visited classrooms in 49 states to observe best practices, and founded Principal for a Day in New York City.)