Q: My 5-year old daughter, Illana, has been so excited about starting kindergarten, but suddenly she cries when we talk about it and insists she's staying home with her sister. She loved preschool, so I don't get it. How can we get her ready for her first day?

A: Many children, even those with preschool experience, get last-minute "kindergarten jitters," says Shirley Harden, a retired Maryland principal who coaches parents on supporting their children's school success. She offers these tips:

-- If possible, visit Illana's school before classes begin. "Often principals encourage kindergartners to come for a sneak peek to see their classroom, cafeteria and other rooms," says Harden. "During your walk-through, point out bulletin boards and displays. Even show her the bathrooms, so she's familiar with the facilities."

-- Probe her worries. Because parents make the first day a big deal, kids may develop unwarranted concerns, says Harden. "Talk through any fears and put them to rest," she says. "Explain how her day will go and what she will do after school to allay concerns about how she gets home." Tell her about first-day jitters in your life, such as a new job. Explain that it's normal to have anxieties about new things.

-- Read books about starting kindergarten. "There are some really funny ones," says Blanche Warner, a library manager in Naples, New York. "Librarians have them ready in August."

Warner suggests these time-tested titles:

-- "A Place Called Kindergarten" (Puffin, 2008) by Jessica Harper. Tommy's animal friends become alarmed when they learn Tommy has gone to a place called "kindergarten."

-- "Countdown to Kindergarten" (HMH Books for Young Readers; 2006) by Alison McGhee and Harry Bliss. Ten days before school starts, a new kindergartner can't tie her shoes and fears the worst.

-- "Jake Starts School" (Square Fish, 2010) by Michael Wright. A boy worries about staying at school without his parents.

-- "Kindergarten Rocks!" (HMH Books for Young Readers, 2008) by Katie Davis. Dexter isn't scared to start school, but his stuffed dog, Rufus, is terrified!

-- "Late for School!" (Carolrhoda Books, 2013) by Stephanie Calmenson and Sachiko Yoshikawa. A teacher oversleeps and is late for the first day.

-- "Look Out Kindergarten, Here I Come!" (Puffin 2001) by Nancy Carlson. Henry looks forward to kindergarten, but he isn't sure about staying once he gets there.

-- "Miss Bindergarten Gets Ready for Kindergarten" (Puffin, 2001) by Joseph Slate and Ashley Wolff. This book introduces the alphabet as Miss Bindergarten and her students get ready for kindergarten.

-- "On the Way to Kindergarten" (Puffin, 2008) by Virginia Kroll and Elizabeth Schlossberg. This picture book helps parents show their kindergartner all of her accomplishments in the past five years.

Make a plan to support Illana's learning all year. Include daily activities such as reading each night, reinforcing social and emotional skills needed in school, and talking about a range of topics to develop oral language and a strong vocabulary. Find ways to connect math and science concepts to daily life by using science and math vocabulary; for example, "Today's weather brought rain. Let's measure how much rain we got." Encourage active play and limit screen time.

Introduce yourself to her teacher and offer your support, says Harden. "That way," she says, "should a problem arise, you'll have a working partnership from day one."

(Do you have a question about your child's education? Email it to Leanna@aplusadvice.com. Leanna Landsmann is an education writer who began her career as a classroom teacher. She has served on education commissions, visited classrooms in 49 states to observe best practices, and founded Principal for a Day in New York City.)

Q: My 8-year-old son's teacher suggests evaluating him for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder because he is unfocused and distractible. While he's more fidgety than his sister, he can sit transfixed all day on video games. Could video games cause these inattentive behaviors?

A: There is no evidence that TV or video games cause ADHD, yet super-fast-paced TV shows and video games have a special appeal for kids who have ADHD, says Dr. Natalie Weder, a child and adolescent psychiatrist at the Child Mind Institute (childmind.org).

"If you think about 'SpongeBob,' or a video game, there's never a second when there's nothing happening on the screen," she says. "If you're playing a video game, you have to immediately respond; otherwise, you lose. You don't have time to think.

"Kids with ADHD are very drawn to that because it makes them have to pay attention. There are no gaps for them to start thinking about something else."

When kids are absorbed in video games, they aren't displaying the kind of attention required by day-to-day tasks, such as getting ready for school or finishing an assignment.

While it may appear your son shows sustained attention in a video game, "the truth is that the task is changing so rapidly, short bursts of attention are all that's involved," says Dr. Ron Steingard, also a child psychiatrist at the Child Mind Institute. "These games are constantly shifting focus, and there is instant gratification and reward."

If your son is "transfixed all day" on games, change your parenting game plan. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends no more than an hour per day of total media screen time for elementary school-age children.

That much screen time means time not spent doing other things more valuable for their development, notes Weder. "It takes time away from doing more creative or more learning-based activities, and from interaction with family and friends that helps them with their social skills."

If you decide to get him evaluated, know that the process isn't an exact science. First, talk with his teacher and school specialists to gather more information on why they made the suggestion. Next, do your homework to learn the definition of ADHD. Become familiar with the debate about over-diagnosis and over-prescribing of drugs.

There are reputable websites that describe the evaluation and diagnosis process, such as the American Academy of Pediatrics (healthychildren.org); the Child Mind Institute, (childmind.org); the National Institute of Mental Health, (nimh.nih.gov); and the National Resource Center on AD/HD (help4adhd.org).

Then visit your pediatrician for a screening to rule out any physical conditions, such as hearing problems. If you're confident that your pediatrician has experience with ADHD, he or she may be able to evaluate your son. If not, ask for a referral to an ADHD specialist -- a neurologist, child psychiatrist, child psychologist or licensed counselor who has deep experience and can apply it to your son's case.

In the meantime, cut back on video games. At an age when developing social skills is critically important, "no kid should spend unlimited time sitting in front of a screen in lieu of playing with other kids," says Steingard.

(Do you have a question about your child's education? Email it to Leanna@aplusadvice.com. Leanna Landsmann is an education writer who began her career as a classroom teacher. She has served on education commissions, visited classrooms in 49 states to observe best practices, and founded Principal for a Day in New York City.)

Q: Our daughter, Celia, failed sixth-grade math and started summer school. She isn't motivated and finds it embarrassing. (She's never had math trouble before.) We've threatened to take her cellphone away, but she's indifferent. She says math is hard and the teacher lacks sympathy. Should we try an online course?

A: Online programs require motivation for a student to succeed, but it's an option, "and options are what you should explore right now," says Jane Bluestein, a New Mexico educator who coaches parents on student motivation.

Research shows that many girls do well in elementary math, but decline in middle school. As math gets more challenging, some girls begin to view it as a "talent," something you're either good at or not, while boys tend to view math as a skill to be learned, notes Stanford University psychology professor Carol Dweck.

"If this is the case, be understanding, and help her shift to an 'I can' mindset," says Bluestein. "Here's the approach: She's fallen behind. No biggie. We all do. She has a chance to catch up. How does she want to do that? Figure out the options. Let her know that not improving is not an option. She can have her 'summer' as soon as she passes sixth-grade math."

Schedule a conference with the teacher, including Celia. The teacher probably has more sympathy than you realize! Find out what Celia needs to be ready for seventh grade. Ask about your daughter's strengths and weaknesses; identify skills she can practice with a supplemental online course, and what evaluation will prove that she passed. Ask about materials, activities, games and online courses to supplement summer school.

Because the main goal here is improvement, consider a private tutor, such as a retired teacher, college student or a private tutoring company that offers one-on-one attention.

"Unfortunately, many summer programs are punitive in how they're presented to students. This way, she doesn't have to deal with what she considers a stigma," says Bluestein.

"Celia is old enough to control some of the choices about how to improve in math," says Bluestein. "Ask her how she wants to get caught up and pass whatever evaluation is required to exit sixth grade. Give her two or three choices -- staying in summer school being one of them -- as well as a list of privileges she can have, or regain, as soon as she starts showing improvement or meets the requirements that will be expected of her when she starts seventh grade."

Use positive consequences, not threats. When you emphasize positive consequences, you avoid negative reactions and put the responsibility on your daughter, where it belongs, Bluestein urges. Rather than say, "If you won't go to summer school, we're canceling your iPhone!" try, "Catch up on the content you need to do well in seventh grade -- and you have these options for accomplishing that. As soon as you do, you get your privileges back."

You might want to add her privileges back little by little as she starts showing improvement and commitment.

There are many local and virtual communities of STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering and Math) mentors -- professionals who volunteer to tutor girls in these subjects and introduce them to STEM careers. Consider connecting Celia to one in the fall, suggests Bluestein, who says, "Seeing how to use math in a cool career can be a big motivator."

(Do you have a question about your child's education? Email it to Leanna@aplusadvice.com. Leanna Landsmann is an education writer who began her career as a classroom teacher. She has served on education commissions, visited classrooms in 49 states to observe best practices, and founded Principal for a Day in New York City.)