parenting

Change Parenting Plan if Kid Is Too Focused on Video Games

A+ Advice for Parents by by Leanna Landsmann
by Leanna Landsmann
A+ Advice for Parents | July 14th, 2014

Q: My 8-year-old son's teacher suggests evaluating him for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder because he is unfocused and distractible. While he's more fidgety than his sister, he can sit transfixed all day on video games. Could video games cause these inattentive behaviors?

A: There is no evidence that TV or video games cause ADHD, yet super-fast-paced TV shows and video games have a special appeal for kids who have ADHD, says Dr. Natalie Weder, a child and adolescent psychiatrist at the Child Mind Institute (childmind.org).

"If you think about 'SpongeBob,' or a video game, there's never a second when there's nothing happening on the screen," she says. "If you're playing a video game, you have to immediately respond; otherwise, you lose. You don't have time to think.

"Kids with ADHD are very drawn to that because it makes them have to pay attention. There are no gaps for them to start thinking about something else."

When kids are absorbed in video games, they aren't displaying the kind of attention required by day-to-day tasks, such as getting ready for school or finishing an assignment.

While it may appear your son shows sustained attention in a video game, "the truth is that the task is changing so rapidly, short bursts of attention are all that's involved," says Dr. Ron Steingard, also a child psychiatrist at the Child Mind Institute. "These games are constantly shifting focus, and there is instant gratification and reward."

If your son is "transfixed all day" on games, change your parenting game plan. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends no more than an hour per day of total media screen time for elementary school-age children.

That much screen time means time not spent doing other things more valuable for their development, notes Weder. "It takes time away from doing more creative or more learning-based activities, and from interaction with family and friends that helps them with their social skills."

If you decide to get him evaluated, know that the process isn't an exact science. First, talk with his teacher and school specialists to gather more information on why they made the suggestion. Next, do your homework to learn the definition of ADHD. Become familiar with the debate about over-diagnosis and over-prescribing of drugs.

There are reputable websites that describe the evaluation and diagnosis process, such as the American Academy of Pediatrics (healthychildren.org); the Child Mind Institute, (childmind.org); the National Institute of Mental Health, (nimh.nih.gov); and the National Resource Center on AD/HD (help4adhd.org).

Then visit your pediatrician for a screening to rule out any physical conditions, such as hearing problems. If you're confident that your pediatrician has experience with ADHD, he or she may be able to evaluate your son. If not, ask for a referral to an ADHD specialist -- a neurologist, child psychiatrist, child psychologist or licensed counselor who has deep experience and can apply it to your son's case.

In the meantime, cut back on video games. At an age when developing social skills is critically important, "no kid should spend unlimited time sitting in front of a screen in lieu of playing with other kids," says Steingard.

(Do you have a question about your child's education? Email it to Leanna@aplusadvice.com. Leanna Landsmann is an education writer who began her career as a classroom teacher. She has served on education commissions, visited classrooms in 49 states to observe best practices, and founded Principal for a Day in New York City.)

parenting

Explore Different Options for Kids' Summer Classes

A+ Advice for Parents by by Leanna Landsmann
by Leanna Landsmann
A+ Advice for Parents | July 7th, 2014

Q: Our daughter, Celia, failed sixth-grade math and started summer school. She isn't motivated and finds it embarrassing. (She's never had math trouble before.) We've threatened to take her cellphone away, but she's indifferent. She says math is hard and the teacher lacks sympathy. Should we try an online course?

A: Online programs require motivation for a student to succeed, but it's an option, "and options are what you should explore right now," says Jane Bluestein, a New Mexico educator who coaches parents on student motivation.

Research shows that many girls do well in elementary math, but decline in middle school. As math gets more challenging, some girls begin to view it as a "talent," something you're either good at or not, while boys tend to view math as a skill to be learned, notes Stanford University psychology professor Carol Dweck.

"If this is the case, be understanding, and help her shift to an 'I can' mindset," says Bluestein. "Here's the approach: She's fallen behind. No biggie. We all do. She has a chance to catch up. How does she want to do that? Figure out the options. Let her know that not improving is not an option. She can have her 'summer' as soon as she passes sixth-grade math."

Schedule a conference with the teacher, including Celia. The teacher probably has more sympathy than you realize! Find out what Celia needs to be ready for seventh grade. Ask about your daughter's strengths and weaknesses; identify skills she can practice with a supplemental online course, and what evaluation will prove that she passed. Ask about materials, activities, games and online courses to supplement summer school.

Because the main goal here is improvement, consider a private tutor, such as a retired teacher, college student or a private tutoring company that offers one-on-one attention.

"Unfortunately, many summer programs are punitive in how they're presented to students. This way, she doesn't have to deal with what she considers a stigma," says Bluestein.

"Celia is old enough to control some of the choices about how to improve in math," says Bluestein. "Ask her how she wants to get caught up and pass whatever evaluation is required to exit sixth grade. Give her two or three choices -- staying in summer school being one of them -- as well as a list of privileges she can have, or regain, as soon as she starts showing improvement or meets the requirements that will be expected of her when she starts seventh grade."

Use positive consequences, not threats. When you emphasize positive consequences, you avoid negative reactions and put the responsibility on your daughter, where it belongs, Bluestein urges. Rather than say, "If you won't go to summer school, we're canceling your iPhone!" try, "Catch up on the content you need to do well in seventh grade -- and you have these options for accomplishing that. As soon as you do, you get your privileges back."

You might want to add her privileges back little by little as she starts showing improvement and commitment.

There are many local and virtual communities of STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering and Math) mentors -- professionals who volunteer to tutor girls in these subjects and introduce them to STEM careers. Consider connecting Celia to one in the fall, suggests Bluestein, who says, "Seeing how to use math in a cool career can be a big motivator."

(Do you have a question about your child's education? Email it to Leanna@aplusadvice.com. Leanna Landsmann is an education writer who began her career as a classroom teacher. She has served on education commissions, visited classrooms in 49 states to observe best practices, and founded Principal for a Day in New York City.)

parenting

Nonfiction Can Help Make Third-Grader a Better Reader

A+ Advice for Parents by by Leanna Landsmann
by Leanna Landsmann
A+ Advice for Parents | June 30th, 2014

Q: Our son Brian's second-grade teacher wrote that he did well enough in reading to avoid summer school, but recommended that we "read aloud a lot to him this summer, focusing on nonfiction." School's out, so I can't ask her why. Does that help him with his reading? Why nonfiction?

A: Yes, reading aloud to your rising third-grader will help him become a better reader. Jim Trelease describes the many benefits of reading aloud to preschool and school-age children in his classic work, "The Read-Aloud Handbook" (Penguin, 2013).

Reading aloud introduces children to vocabulary not found in day-to-day conversation, says Trelease.

"In conversation, we use shorthand, not full sentences," he says. "The language in books is very rich. When you read books, newspapers and magazines to your child, you introduce him to more sophisticated language. A child introduced to sophisticated words has a giant advantage over a child who hasn't heard those words. Reading aloud also teaches a child to focus." (See trelease-on-reading.com.)

Research shows that as little as 15 minutes of reading aloud to your son each day can greatly increase his reading power. If you choose a book that's on or just above his reading level, encourage him to follow along with the text, so he sees new words and hears your pronunciation.

Why nonfiction? Much of what we read in life is nonfiction. The new Common Core State Standards emphasize it. Sometimes referred to as "informational text," it helps us learn about real people, places and events. Nonfiction requires different comprehension skills than fiction, such as deriving meaning from photos with captions, comprehending data in a chart and using footnotes and glossaries.

Brian's teacher may also recommend it because nonfiction is a great way to get boys into reading. The text is often more accessible than fiction, more descriptive and straightforward, with photos, illustrations, maps and charts.

Plan your summer reading around topics that interest your son, recommends Jonathan Rosenbloom, founding editor of the nonfiction Time for Kids Big Book series.

"If he loves sports," Rosenbloom says, "find biographies or autobiographies of players; go to sports sites or newspaper sports pages and magazines such as Sports Illustrated for Kids. Nonfiction helps kids learn about the world by leaps and bounds.

"How better to find answers to his questions about deep-sea divers, how fast turtles swim, or how to take care of a new pet goldfish than to read about the topic with you?"

Ask your local librarian to help you gather print and online resources to read to Brian. Check out grade level-appropriate books for him to read to you.

It's good news that Brian doesn't have to go to summer school. But his second-grade teacher raised a red flag. Read every day with him this summer and encourage him to read independently, too. Plan to meet with Brian's new teacher in the fall. Third grade is a critical year to diagnose any reading problems and nip them in the bud.

(Do you have a question about your child's education? Email it to Leanna@aplusadvice.com. Leanna Landsmann is an education writer who began her career as a classroom teacher. She has served on education commissions, visited classrooms in 49 states to observe best practices, and founded Principal for a Day in New York City.)

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