Q: This far into the semester, my second-grader and fourth-grader still can't get into a school-year rhythm. The younger one forgets his lunch; the older one can't remember which night is Cub Scouts. My wife leaves for work early, so I'm the "traffic cop" who feels guilty when they get on the bus in tears. Help!

A: Tears are no way to start a school day. It sounds like your kids aren't emotionally ready for the routines that school requires.

"Children need to be explicitly taught to manage and embrace the job of being a student," says Shirley Harden, a retired principal who coaches parents on how to do this. "Most families send kids to school rested and fed so they have energy. But kids also need a full tank of mental energy, with their heads clear so that they can learn, make good choices and deal with life's glitches.

"They get that energy by knowing that they have an important job -- to be a student and assume the job's responsibilities."

Parents teach these job responsibilities by establishing a structure for school days, outlining daily rules and routines and practicing them so the structure becomes a habit, says educator Marcia Tate, author of "Preparing Children for Success in School and Life" (Corwin, 2011). Here's how:

-- Spell out and model expectations: "Explain that it takes contributions from every family member to make a household run smoothly," says Tate. "Discuss what they can do to make the family function more harmoniously. Stress the importance of doing their jobs well and model it. Want them to make their beds each morning? Make yours, too."

Rather than tell children what not to do ("Don't leave your lunchbox there"), tell them what to do ("Please put your lunchbox on the kitchen counter").

-- Practice routines and procedures: "Routines can be centered around getting ready for school, what happens when the school day ends, cleaning up after meals, doing homework or getting ready for bed," says Tate. "The more routines are practiced, the faster they become a habit. It may take three or four weeks for kids to develop the habit of making their beds."

-- Hold kids accountable: "Tell your children you expect them to follow through on job commitments you've discussed and established as a family," says Tate. "Decide on consequences for noncompliance and stick with them."

-- Relieve stress the night before. Carry out tasks (laying out clothes, gathering books and getting papers signed) the night before. Are kids buying or taking lunch? Go over the next day's schedule to note nondaily activities, such as clubs. Try for regular bedtimes: Research shows that they can reduce behavior problems and increase focus for kids this age.

-- Schedule a positive ritual to end the day: "A nightly wind-down just before bed is important," says Harden. "What you call it doesn't matter -- it's the ritual that counts. You might read, recap the day or plan the weekend. Draw out concerns and deal with them. No one wants to go to sleep with a worry list."

(Do you have a question about your child's education? Email it to Leanna@aplusadvice.com. Leanna Landsmann is an education writer who began her career as a classroom teacher. She has served on education commissions, visited classrooms in 49 states to observe best practices, and founded Principal for a Day in New York City.)

Q: I'm active in my kids' schools. Several people are encouraging me to run for the school board. My husband worries it would be an all-consuming job. What is involved?

A: School board service is demanding. It is also a great way to make a positive contribution to public education.

"It's a chance to better your community and an opportunity for personal growth," says Bruce Capron, a western New York state resident who left an engineering career to become a school administrator as a result of his board service.

School board members I emailed for advice suggest you consider these questions:

-- Do you have time?

While it need not be "all-consuming," board work requires good time-management skills. Most meet monthly, or more often if a special initiative needs oversight. Meeting prep and committee duties add to the commitment.

-- Can you think strategically?

School boards are broadly responsible under state law for providing an education to every student. Their job is to hire and supervise a superintendent, make policy and pass a budget. Board members must think "big picture" about a complex enterprise, says Capron: "Those who represent a narrow political interest at the expense of all others are ineffective."

-- Ready for a steep learning curve?

The most effective board members have a good education, bring their professional skills and abilities to the table, and are willing to learn.

"Board members must quickly get up to speed on myriad topics -- such as using data to boost student achievement; budgeting; construction; union contracts; and technology," says Ray Cortines, a retired superintendent who has worked with school boards in California and New York.

-- Do you like dealing with the public?

If you dislike asking folks for their vote, then don't run. From the get-go, you need to enjoy public engagement, whether gathering signatures for the ballot or involving community members once elected. You have to deal with everyone, even the cranks.

You must be comfortable discussing your views and making decisions in an open forum, says Capron. "And if someone button-holes you at your son's soccer game to talk about a school board matter, it's part of the job."

-- Can you make tough decisions?

You may be faced with hard choices, such as whether to reduce teaching staff or raise taxes, or close an underperforming school. In most states, the school board is the only level of government -- whether local, state or federal -- where elected representatives have to obtain voter approval for the budget every year. The board must show where tax money goes and how it benefits each member of the community, not just those who have kids in school.

-- Do your homework.

Talk with your superintendent, current or former board members, parents and teachers. Ask what they view as the top three challenges facing the district. "If tackling those seems like a worthy challenge -- one you'll enjoy -- enter the race. If not, stay active in your children's school. Either way, you'll make a difference in kids' lives," says Cortines.

Learn more at the National School Boards Association website, nsba.org.

(Do you have a question about your child's education? Email it to Leanna@aplusadvice.com. Leanna Landsmann is an education writer who began her career as a classroom teacher. She has served on education commissions, visited classrooms in 49 states to observe best practices, and founded Principal for a Day in New York City.)

Q: Recently you mentioned research showing that intelligence isn't fixed -- that students' attitudes can improve their aptitudes. My 12-year-old son's mantra is "I can't do that." Jake thinks he's dumb, so he doesn't try hard. Where can I learn more?

A: I've referenced the work of Stanford University psychologist Carol S. Dweck, whose studies have shown the importance of helping children foster a "growth mindset" -- a belief that their abilities can be developed through dedicated effort and hard work.

Her research has established a connection between students' motivation to learn a new skill and how they think about intelligence. Do they think their intelligence is "fixed"? Or do they think they can learn anything they set their minds to?

She discovered that those who think that their intelligence or skill level can be improved by effort and experimentation seek more challenge, learn from mistakes and don't give up in the face of failure.

Students who believe they're born with a specific intelligence have what Dweck calls a "fixed mindset" and are often discouraged by failure and reluctant to challenge themselves.

Using neuroscience research that demonstrates how a learner's brain can change and improve, Dweck and colleagues created "Brainology," an online program to foster "growth mindsets." It's used at home and in more than 600 middle and high schools. (Learn more at mindsetworks.com.)

What can you do to boost Jake's "growth mindset"?

-- Get him thinking about his brain. Research how the brain functions. Learn about neuroplasticity (or, how the brain changes and improves with use). He'll see that contrary to what many believe, we're not stuck at one level of intelligence. The brain is a muscle. The more we exercise it, the stronger it becomes.

-- Shift his thinking toward success. Use the power of "yet," says Dweck. If Jake maintains he isn't good in math, tell him he isn't good yet. Emphasize that, with effort, he will become proficient. (See Dweck's related videos on YouTube.)

-- Change the way you praise. Parents often use general praise ("You're smart! You can do it!") to provide encouragement. Dweck says it's more effective to praise specific efforts that lead to improvement, such as focus, persistence and work habits. ("Jake, you're doing a great job planning your research paper to avoid last-minute worries.") Dweck says this takes the spotlight off fixed ability and puts it on the process of learning.

-- Make it OK to fail. Taking risks and learning from failure lead to invention and creativity. Says Dweck: "Struggle should be rewarded -- the fastest answer isn't always the best."

Struggle boosts resilience, an essential trait for success.

One could say that inventor Thomas Edison summed up the essence of a "growth mindset" when he proclaimed: "None of my inventions came by accident. I see a worthwhile need to be met and I make trial after trial until it comes. What it boils down to is 1 percent inspiration and 99 percent perspiration."

(Do you have a question about your child's education? Email it to Leanna@aplusadvice.com. Leanna Landsmann is an education writer who began her career as a classroom teacher. She has served on education commissions, visited classrooms in 49 states to observe best practices, and founded Principal for a Day in New York City.)