Q: Recently you mentioned research showing that intelligence isn't fixed -- that students' attitudes can improve their aptitudes. My 12-year-old son's mantra is "I can't do that." Jake thinks he's dumb, so he doesn't try hard. Where can I learn more?

A: I've referenced the work of Stanford University psychologist Carol S. Dweck, whose studies have shown the importance of helping children foster a "growth mindset" -- a belief that their abilities can be developed through dedicated effort and hard work.

Her research has established a connection between students' motivation to learn a new skill and how they think about intelligence. Do they think their intelligence is "fixed"? Or do they think they can learn anything they set their minds to?

She discovered that those who think that their intelligence or skill level can be improved by effort and experimentation seek more challenge, learn from mistakes and don't give up in the face of failure.

Students who believe they're born with a specific intelligence have what Dweck calls a "fixed mindset" and are often discouraged by failure and reluctant to challenge themselves.

Using neuroscience research that demonstrates how a learner's brain can change and improve, Dweck and colleagues created "Brainology," an online program to foster "growth mindsets." It's used at home and in more than 600 middle and high schools. (Learn more at mindsetworks.com.)

What can you do to boost Jake's "growth mindset"?

-- Get him thinking about his brain. Research how the brain functions. Learn about neuroplasticity (or, how the brain changes and improves with use). He'll see that contrary to what many believe, we're not stuck at one level of intelligence. The brain is a muscle. The more we exercise it, the stronger it becomes.

-- Shift his thinking toward success. Use the power of "yet," says Dweck. If Jake maintains he isn't good in math, tell him he isn't good yet. Emphasize that, with effort, he will become proficient. (See Dweck's related videos on YouTube.)

-- Change the way you praise. Parents often use general praise ("You're smart! You can do it!") to provide encouragement. Dweck says it's more effective to praise specific efforts that lead to improvement, such as focus, persistence and work habits. ("Jake, you're doing a great job planning your research paper to avoid last-minute worries.") Dweck says this takes the spotlight off fixed ability and puts it on the process of learning.

-- Make it OK to fail. Taking risks and learning from failure lead to invention and creativity. Says Dweck: "Struggle should be rewarded -- the fastest answer isn't always the best."

Struggle boosts resilience, an essential trait for success.

One could say that inventor Thomas Edison summed up the essence of a "growth mindset" when he proclaimed: "None of my inventions came by accident. I see a worthwhile need to be met and I make trial after trial until it comes. What it boils down to is 1 percent inspiration and 99 percent perspiration."

(Do you have a question about your child's education? Email it to Leanna@aplusadvice.com. Leanna Landsmann is an education writer who began her career as a classroom teacher. She has served on education commissions, visited classrooms in 49 states to observe best practices, and founded Principal for a Day in New York City.)

Q: Our fourth-grade son's teacher is strict and he's having a hard time. I admit Jeremy doesn't always listen and often acts impulsively. My husband thinks it's good for him to be reined in, but I don't want Jeremy to feel like a failure. Should I ask the principal to switch teachers?

A: Why would you do that? To protect Jeremy from having to learn how to deal with a world that doesn't always run according to his whims?

Unless there is a severe personality conflict between the teacher and your son -- and you offer no evidence -- don't think about changing teachers.

Instead, be grateful for the wake-up call. Now is the time to work closely with Jeremy's teacher to foster character, responsibility and emotional development.

"Every school year is important, but fourth grade is pivotal for mastering the habits of mind that make or break students from here on out," says Bill Laraway, a fifth-grade teacher at Silver Oak Elementary in San Jose, Calif. "I can tell the first week of school which students will soar and which will struggle because they lack these skills."

"By the end of fourth grade, students should have learned organization, self-regulation and how to schedule time and assignments," says Laraway. "They should know which study skills are most effective for them and be accountable for their work. Mom shouldn't run interference for Jeremy.

"Nor should Dad put the burden of 'reining in' on the teacher. Instead, they should support the teacher in helping Jeremy build character, grit, impulse control and work habits."

While students entering Laraway's class might call him strict, "by the end of the year they're proud of what they've accomplished. Students regularly come back to visit -- one recently after getting her Ph.D. -- to tell me they were grateful I didn't cut them any slack.

"Students benefit from being held to high expectations."

Compelling research shows the benefits of moderate childhood stress, setting the bar high, how praise kills kids' self-esteem, and why grit is a better predictor of success than SAT scores, says Joanne Lipman, co-author of "Strings Attached: One Tough Teacher and the Gift of Great Expectations" (Hyperion, 2013).

Lipman cites the work of Stanford researcher Carol Dweck on the demotivating effects of overpraising students; University of Pennsylvania researcher Angela Duckworth on the importance of "grit" and tenacity in school success; and University of Nebraska psychologist Richard Dienstbier, who pioneered the idea that dealing with routine stresses -- such as having a tough teacher -- can make students stronger.

"When it comes to doing well in school, learning to set goals, manage time, prioritize assignments, focus without being reminded and take responsibility for one's actions are key," says Laraway. "Parents do kids a disservice when they want to solve every problem and smooth every wrinkle in their lives."

For more insights, check out Dweck's book, "Mindset: The New Psychology of Success" (Ballantine, 2007), and "How Children Succeed: Grit, Curiosity, and the Hidden Power of Character," by Paul Tough (Mariner Books, 2013), which explains Duckworth's work.

(Do you have a question about your child's education? Email it to Leanna@aplusadvice.com. Leanna Landsmann is an education writer who began her career as a classroom teacher. She has served on education commissions, visited classrooms in 49 states to observe best practices, and founded Principal for a Day in New York City.)

Q: My son Rashan got into a new, accelerated STEM program at a magnet middle school. He was excited until he and some other STEM students were taunted for "acting white." He gets ridiculed for reading on the bus. I called the principal -- she just seems overwhelmed. My husband tells him to "toughen up" because the world is full of bullies. While Rashan likes the program, he misses his elementary friends (who are stuck in a really bad middle school). I want him to stay in the STEM program to pursue his dream of becoming a doctor. Any advice?

A: While your husband has a point, school bullying and harassment threaten students' safety and emotional well-being and shift their focus from learning to self-protection. Being taunted for wanting to achieve can erode a student's confidence and decrease motivation to excel in school.

Over the last decade, much effort and money has been spent to help the nation's schools create a positive and supportive climate for all learners. This principal needs to get her middle school on board.

There are several concrete steps you (and other parents) can take to put a stop to this behavior, says Marissa Gehley, a California youth counselor and founder of KNOW (Kids Need Our Wisdom).

-- Educate yourself. "There are great resources, such as casel.org, Stopbullying.gov and search-institute.org," says Gehley. A little research will show you and your husband ways to help Rashan deal with bullying and give you important information when working with the school.

-- Be a squeaky wheel. The principal's overwhelmed? Meet with a counselor, assistant principal or Rashan's adviser. Ask about the school's anti-bullying and harassment policy. What programs are in place to discourage this behavior? What are bus drivers' responsibilities? Join your school's parent group to raise awareness. "The more folks in the loop, the easier it is to change school culture for the better," says Gehley.

-- Keep lines of communication open. "This is key! It's great that Rashan is talking with you about it," says Gehley. "It means he trusts and values your advice. Check in with him often -- about friends, schoolwork and activities. Don't make bullying the only thing you talk about." Encourage him to develop a trusting relationship with an adult at school, such as a teacher, counselor or coach, who he can turn to for advice.

-- Teach Rashan to deal with bullies. "Using humor, saying 'stop' with conviction and directness, ignoring or simply walking away are often effective techniques to stop a bully," says Gehley. "Discuss and practice techniques that fit Rashan's personality. He has to feel comfortable with them to be effective."

-- Support Rashan in doing what he loves. "Pursuing activities, hobbies and interests can help him make new friends and can boost his confidence," notes Gehley. "There's strength in numbers, so encourage him to invite new friends from the STEM program to your home. Since he wants to be a doctor, find an area mentor and role model who can help him keep his eye on the prize."

(Do you have a question about your child's education? Email it to Leanna@aplusadvice.com. Leanna Landsmann is an education writer who began her career as a classroom teacher. She has served on education commissions, visited classrooms in 49 states to observe best practices, and founded Principal for a Day in New York City.)