Q: I'm having a hard time with my children (ages 10, 14 and 16). They "chilled" all summer, and now that school's in session, they push back on everything. I have to nag to get them on the bus! It was so easy when they were young.

A: It's time for a refresher in boundary-setting. Albuquerque, N.M., parent/educator Jane Bluestein, Ph.D., hears this question a lot after a summer of "anything goes."

Bluestein, author of "Parents, Teens and Boundaries: How to Draw the Line" (Health Communications Inc., 1993), suggests you focus on "positivity, clarity and follow-through, the three biggest problems most parents face when establishing limits."

-- First, think positive. "Many parents confuse boundaries with threats," says Bluestein. "'If you don't do your homework, you're not watching a video' isn't really a boundary; it's a threat."

Threats provoke resistance, passive-aggressiveness or flat-out defiance. Switching your emphasis to a positive consequence avoids a negative reaction or a competition for power. Reframe your goal positively, she advises.

"'Of course you can watch the video -- as soon as your homework is finished.' This is a tiny, simple shift that changes the energy in the contingency," Bluestein says. "It allows parents to retain authority without disempowering kids. It builds responsibility and accountability and honors their need for autonomy. They now have the power to get what they want by doing what you've asked."

-- Clarity is important. It's hard to cooperate if you don't know what the other person wants, so be specific. What do you mean by "a clean room" or "a reasonable hour"? When you ask your kids to do their chores, is your mental list the same as theirs?

"Write down the list of chores or the definition of a clean room," says Bluestein. "The more specific you can be, the more likely you'll get what you want."

-- Follow-through is key. Kids won't take you seriously if you're wishy-washy and inconsistent about consequences.

"If you say 'no TV or video games until all assignments are done,' then cave when your kids whine or threaten, you're teaching them, 'This is how you can get what you want.' Be prepared for more of the same," Bluestein warns. "By the same token, if you only allow access to the TV, game console or computer after a specific task is done to the criteria you have made clear to them ahead of time, then you're teaching kids the importance of earning -- and maybe even appreciating -- the privileges they have."

-- Communicate boundaries before a conflict occurs. Bluestein says to spell it out. For example: "You may go to the mall as long as you've finished your report by Saturday noon," or, "You may ask Caitlyn for a sleepover once you've finished the chores that are your responsibility, and I've checked to see that they are done properly." (For more examples, advice and boundary-setting tips, go to www.janebluestein.com.)

Before next summer rolls around, create a plan with your kids to add structure, home responsibilities and jobs to the break. Letting them "chill" another summer does them a disservice.

(Do you have a question about your child's education? Email it to Leanna@aplusadvice.com. Leanna Landsmann is an education writer who began her career as a classroom teacher. She has served on education commissions, visited classrooms in 49 states to observe best practices, and founded Principal for a Day in New York City.)

Q: Our kindergarten-age daughter has nightmares. When she wakes up from one, it's so disruptive that we let her stay in our bedroom. Her teacher reports that she dozes in class. (There are no naps.) We try to schedule eight hours of sleep, but she's hard to settle at bedtime. Will she outgrow this pattern?

A: A change in routine, such as going to full-day kindergarten, can cause sleep disruptions. Most kids don't simply grow out of poor sleep patterns, so be proactive.

"Sleep problems are rarely (with few exceptions) part of a normal phase that must be waited out," says Dr. Richard Ferber, author of "Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems" (Fireside, 2006).

First, recognize that healthy sleep has a big impact on school performance. Studies show that sleep-deprived kids have trouble with focus and memory and may be more aggressive and prone to obesity. Think about sleep this way, suggests Dr. Marc Weissbluth, author of "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" (Ballantine, 2005).

"Sleep is the power source that keeps your mind alert and calm," he says. "Every night and at every nap, sleep recharges the brain's battery."

Second, establish a longer sleep schedule and stick with it seven nights a week. The National Sleep Foundation (sleepfoundation.org) suggests that 5- to 12-year-old children need 10 to 11 hours of sleep each night to function well at school.

Third, prepare your daughter for quality sleep. Limit caffeine and chocolate before bed. Make sure the bedroom is comfy, peaceful and the right temperature. Remove distractions, such as TV. Wind down with a bedtime story.

Fourth, tackle nightmares head on.

"These fears are very real to a child," says Sharon Cramer, author of "Marlow and the Monster" (B&F Publishing, 2012), a tale that helps kids cope with imaginary creatures.

Cramer's suggestions for curtailing nightmares include: eliminating violent books, movies and cartoons; putting the mattress on the floor if your daughter is afraid of what's under the bed; keeping a soft light on and having a lit path to the bathroom; and making sure your daughter is surrounded by her favorite stuffed animals. Tack a sign on the door that says "Only Nice Monsters Allowed," and enjoy stories that debunk traditional monster fears, like "James and the Giant Peach."

"My granddaughter and I watched 'Monsters, Inc.' several times until she reframed in her mind what a monster is: a cuddly creature that protects little girls," says Cramer.

Fifth, try not to invite your daughter to your bed, advises Cramer.

"Stay with her in her bedroom until she's comforted and back to sleep," she says. "Letting her retreat to your room sets a bad routine that is hard to break and only reinforces that her own bedroom is to be feared. Next morning, tell her about what scared you as a child and how you learned it was your imagination and not real."

Teachers surveyed by University of Virginia cognitive scientist Daniel Willingham say that if they could magically make parents do one thing to help children succeed academically, it would be to make sure they come to school having had a good night's sleep.

(Do you have a question about your child's education? Email it to Leanna@aplusadvice.com. Leanna Landsmann is an education writer who began her career as a classroom teacher. She has served on education commissions, visited classrooms in 49 states to observe best practices, and founded Principal for a Day in New York City.)

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Q: My 10- and 11-year-old boys enjoyed Summer Reading Camp, but now that it's over, I can't get them to pick up a book. I want them to keep reading until school starts. Any thoughts?

A: While it would be super if all young readers spent the summer with their noses in books, rethink what you consider reading: Will they pick up a magazine? A Kindle? An iPad? Will they research a topic on a website?

"Students don't have to devour novels to keep up their skills," says Jonathan Rosenbloom, an editor at TIME For Kids Books. "In fact, with more emphasis on informational texts in the new Common Core Standards, getting kids to read more nonfiction should be a summer goal."

Rosenbloom suggests these strategies:

First, get your sons to do the family reading. If you are planning a weekend trip, have them research the route, write an itinerary, find the cheapest gas, chart places to stop and so on. If you are hungry for peanut butter cookies, have them comb your cookbooks and the Internet for a great recipe, then make the shopping list, bake the cookies and write a recipe review. If you are searching for a movie the family will enjoy, ask them to identify three and read the reviews to you.

"The goal is to show them how we use reading and writing each day to find information, make decisions, be productive and add pleasure to our lives," says Rosenbloom.

Second, think beyond the book. The price of e-readers has dropped considerably, and there are thousands of tween titles available. Many kids also enjoy reading on their smartphones and tablet devices. Talk to them about how you will monitor their purchases, and give them a budget for downloading the reading of their choosing.

Third, stock up on "quick reads," so when you have a few minutes, you can enjoy reading with them. Children's almanacs are great sources of awesome info: The 2013 editions of the World Almanac for Kids, the TIME For Kids Almanac and the National Geographic Kids Almanac were all recently released.

Fourth, take your boys to yard sales to stock up on reading material. Among the used books, atlases, encyclopedias and magazines, Rosenbloom says, "Your sons might find an issue of Popular Science on the possibility of alien life that leads to hours of related reading."

Fifth, as you browse your own news sources each day, save and print articles you think would interest your boys and then read the articles together. A profile of a sports figure might lead them to read that person's biography; a news article on a record-size Asian carp will have them looking up other invasive species. Before you know it, your boys will have good topics teed up for research reports when school starts.

(Do you have a question about your child's education? Email it to Leanna@aplusadvice.com. Leanna Landsmann is an education writer who began her career as a classroom teacher. She has served on education commissions, visited classrooms in 49 states to observe best practices, and founded Principal for a Day in New York City.)