Q: My seventh-grade daughter, Neela, worries about everything. She is a terrific student, but nothing is ever good enough. Her teacher says she's too hard on herself and will be happier if she learns to count her blessings. What do you think of that?

A: Be thankful that Neela has a teacher who suggested she learn a key life skill. Exciting research points to ways that gratitude influences our well-being. While religions and philosophies have long embraced the importance of thankfulness, scientists are latecomers to knowing how gratitude benefits our outlook, says University of California-Davis professor Robert A. Emmons, Ph.D., author of "Thanks!: How Practicing Gratitude Can Make You Happier" (Mariner, 2008).

Emmons' studies have shown that children who are appreciative have more positive attitudes toward school and their families. He found that young adults who learn to express daily gratitude reported higher levels of alertness, enthusiasm, determination, attentiveness and energy than those who focus on life's hassles.

This all makes sense to Dawn Mahan, a New York middle-school teacher, who says, "I see many students who practice such negative self-talk that I look for ways to help them learn the power of gratitude."

She points out opportunities for students to count their blessings, not their burdens.

Emmons suggests keeping a gratitude journal. "Doing this for as little as three weeks is often enough to create a meaningful difference in one level of happiness," he says. He also suggests writing a gratitude letter to someone we have not properly thanked in the past, and reading it in person.

When it comes to teens, counselor Marissa Gehley, founder of KNOW (Kids Need Our Wisdom) Consulting, says parents must go beyond teaching kids to say thank you. "That's important, but just a first step in the art of being grateful," she advises.

"Suppose Grandma sends Neela a birthday check for her college fund," Gehley says. "She should write (not text!) a thank you note, of course. But the bigger challenge is to help Neela understand why she should appreciate money for college when she was hoping for a gift card to her favorite store. You meet that challenge with conversation: about goals, college, dreams for her future, and how she's fortunate to have a grandmother who is helping her to achieve them. It's not a five-minute chat. When we (BEGIN ITALS)practice(END ITALS) gratitude consistently, it helps kids cement their values."

Kids won't just one day start gratitude lists. "You need to prime the pump as a family," says Gehley. "At the end of each week, think of things that are a cause for thankfulness. Go beyond the obvious.

"For example, when her son didn't get into a high school he had his heart set on, one mother helped him appreciate that it really was an opportunity. His second-choice school had a great art program, something he's passionate about. The very best way parents can raise grateful kids is by modeling the behavior themselves every day."

Teacher Appreciation Week is May 7-11. It's time to show some serious gratitude to Neela's teacher!

(Do you have a question about your child's education? Email it to Leanna@aplusadvice.com. Leanna Landsmann is an education writer who began her career as a classroom teacher. She has served on education commissions, visited classrooms in 49 states to observe best practices, and founded Principal for a Day in New York City.)

Q: Juan, my middle-schooler, didn't get into his first-choice high school of the arts, so he'll go to our large public high school instead. It's excellent, with a "10" rating from greatschools.org, but he's resisting. He says it doesn't have an arts program though he's never been inside. He's an average student with a talent for illustration. Private school is not affordable. How can I get him to accept it?

A: Those Rolling Stones lyrics, "You can't always get what you want, but if you try ... you get what you need," applies here. But no teen wants to be told what he needs. Your job is to turn that good neighborhood school into something he wants.

First, set up conferences with a guidance counselor and a teacher he likes at his middle school to discuss his track record, collect evidence of Juan's art talent, and get advice about what programs would be best for him at the new school. Does Juan need any special services? Ask the counselor to contact her counterpart at the high school to schedule a tour. Do this soon. Schedule it yourself if you have to.

Prior to your visit, gather information: Check the school's website, do an online search and talk with current students and parents. What do they like about the school? What are the challenges? Which teachers stand out? What opportunities should Juan take advantage of?

Take your son's records, including his arts portfolio, to the tour. Ask about arts offerings. While art programs have been hard hit, most highly regarded high schools have art programs. Are there studio classes available? After-school options? Visit the school's art rooms so Juan can envision being there.

Have a list of questions to cover. Listen carefully to the answers and take notes to remember key facts and suggestions. This also models for Juan how to investigate and analyze options.

Invite the counselor to ask questions. A simple opening such as "What would you like to know about Juan's academic record?" can start a productive conversation that shows you where he might best fit in the new school. Let Juan know in advance that you expect him to be a part of the conversation. Let the counselor know your expectations as a parent. Ask how teachers communicate with the home.

Note the spelling and titles of the educators you meet, and have Juan drop a note -- maybe with an illustration -- to thank them for their time. "Showing appreciation is important," says Bill Jackson, president of greatschools.org. "You can bet those teachers will remember Juan with a smile come fall!" (Thank his current teachers for their conference time, too!)

It's equally important to schedule an appointment with the admissions counselor of the "choice" school Juan wasn't admitted to so he can learn why he missed the cut and get advice on applying again for his sophomore year. This could motivate him to work really hard in his neighborhood school his freshman year. Be thankful it's a good one!

(Do you have a question about your child's education? Email it to Leanna@aplusadvice.com. Leanna Landsmann is an education writer who began her career as a classroom teacher. She has served on education commissions, visited classrooms in 49 states to observe best practices, and founded Principal for a Day in New York City.)

Q: My sister is vehemently opposed to our local school budget and argues that "Washington should butt out" of funding local schools. In a downturn, shouldn't we try to get more dollars from the federal government?

A: For decades, the federal role in public school funding has been limited. More than 90 percent of revenues for the nation's public schools come from state and local sources. The Center on Education Policy data shows that in school year 2007-8, the federal government contributed just 8 percent of the total revenues for elementary and secondary education.

Where does the lion's share come from? In 2007-8, an average 44 percent came from the states and 48 percent came from local sources -- mostly property taxes. The mix varies depending on the state. (In Nevada, only 31 percent came from the state. In Vermont, 86 percent came from the state.)

Your sister might be thinking of the federal economic stimulus funds known as the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act signed in February 2009. Education was one of the biggest beneficiaries of the $814 billion pot of money. Education got $100 billion, a one-time allocation that saved thousands of teaching positions on the chopping block due to reduced state and local revenues. (Three-fifths of the average school budget is spent on instruction.)

U.S. Department of Education data shows that the stimulus package funded more than 360,000 positions during the 2009-10 school year. For example, California saved more than 55,000 positions with the money; Florida, 25,000; and Georgia, 20,000. (Track education stimulus dollars at edmoney.org. Track all stimulus funds at recovery.gov.)

"While the number of jobs saved may seem eye-popping, the stimulus funding didn't seem like a windfall to many school districts," observes Education Week reporter Michele McNeil in a Hechinger Report on the impact of the dollars on school budgets. "That's because many recession-battered states, desperate to balance their budgets, cut education funding and spent the savings on other public services. They then used federal stimulus money to back-fill those budgetary holes for education."

The stimulus money included the Department of Education's $4.35 billion Race to the Top fund that compelled districts to improve education outcomes for students by implementing rigorous standards aligned with assessments; creating longitudinal data systems to track students' progress; improving effectiveness and distribution of teachers; and providing interventions to low-performing schools.

U.S. Education Secretary Arne Duncan described the investment as the country's education "moon shot" designed to lead the world in academic achievement. Will we look back in a decade and see results?

Only if parents and leaders at the local level get involved. A new report, "After the Stimulus Money Ends: The Status of State K-12 Education Funding and Reforms," shows that a majority of states say they are not planning to create incentives for highly qualified teachers or principals to remain in or move to districts and schools where they are needed most.

"This is likely because several actions related to educator effectiveness and low-performing schools have traditionally been addressed at the local rather than the state level," says Nancy Kober, report co-author. (For more information, go to www.cep-dc.org.)

(Do you have a question about your child's education? Email it to Leanna@aplusadvice.com. Leanna Landsmann is an education writer who began her career as a classroom teacher. She has served on education commissions, visited classrooms in 49 states to observe best practices, and founded Principal for a Day in New York City.)