LEAD STORY -- Can't Possibly Be True

A newly released report from the U.K.'s Air Accidents Investigation Branch has determined that an inflight incident on June 29, 2022, could have turned out "very different," CNN reported. On that day, a flying instructor slumped over on a pilot's shoulder as they flew a small plane above Lancashire, England. The pilot, who had asked the instructor to accompany him because of wind conditions that day, thought his cohort was "just pretending to take a nap" as a joke, but after landing the plane, he realized the instructor had died. The report noted that the instructor likely "suffered a cardiac arrest as the aircraft took off." [CNN, 2/22/2023]

Unclear on the Concept

Neurosurgeon Charlie Teo, 65, appeared before Australia's Health Care Complaints Commission in February to defend himself against charges relating to a brain tumor surgery he performed on a woman, ABC News reported. "I took out too much. I took out the wrong bit of the frontal lobe," Teo said. "I actually didn't know at the time. I'm learning from this case. It wasn't negligence. Maybe some ignorance on my behalf." The woman was left in a vegetative state and died several weeks later. Teo said one of the complainants against him had been "hoodwinked" and "coerced" into filing the charge by Teo's "enemies." "I did the wrong thing. Was that my intention? Absolutely not," he said. [ABC News, 2/20/2023]

Least Competent Criminal

Quanisha Manago, 28, of Kershaw, South Carolina, got a special delivery on Feb. 13, but it wasn't from Amazon. WHNS-TV reported that Lancaster County Sheriff's officers were tipped off about a package coming Manago's way with valuable contents: two large bricks of cocaine, weighing over 6 pounds. Working with other agencies, an undercover agent delivered the box to Manago's home, then watched as she stored it in her car and started to drive away. That's when she was arrested. Sheriff Barry Faile said the cocaine had a street value of more than $180,000. "Thanks to all who participated, it will never hit the street," he said, adding the packaged was shipped from outside the United States. [WHNS, 2/20/2023]

Government in Action

-- On Jan. 19 in Austin, Texas, Chris Newby was sleeping when "the whole house shook," he said. "It sounds like a plane hit the house." Instead, according to KXAN-TV, it was a car -- an impaired driver barreled through Newby's spare bedroom wall. "The entire room was just crunched," he said. Ten days later, Newby received a letter from the city informing him that he was in violation of two codes: "One for having a hole in my house and one for having no window," Newby said. The letter was dated the day of the crash and stipulated that he had 30 days to get repairs completed or face fines of up to $4,000 per day. "It felt tone-deaf to me," he said. "I'm in violation for being a victim." But Matthew Noriega, a division manager at the code department, said Newby has time: "If an extension is needed, we will give them that extension," he clarified. Still, Newby said Austin "feels a little less like home every day." Sad emoji. [KXAN, 2/20/2023]

-- In Florida, the state senate Democratic leader and canine fun-ruiner Lauren Book filed a piece of legislation that would make it illegal to let a dog "extend its head or any other body part outside" a moving car window, WTSP-TV reported on Feb. 21. The bill has other pet-related provisions relating to animal safety, including prohibiting pets riding in the open beds of pickups and drivers holding a dog in their lap. If passed, the bill will become law on July 1. [WTSP, 2/21/2023]

Weird Science

Just looking for a few minutes of peace and quiet? You might be tempted to step inside the anechoic chamber at Microsoft headquarters in Redmond, Washington, Oddity Central reported. However, even if you were allowed to try it, you might find it unbearable -- it is the world's quietest place, at -20.3 decibels. (Calm breathing clocks in at 10 decibels.) "As soon as one enters the room, one immediately feels a strange and unique sensation which is hard to describe," said Hundraj Gopal, a speech and hearing scientist who helped design the chamber. "When you turn your head, you can hear that motion. The longest continuous time anyone has spent inside the chamber is 55 minutes," Gopal said. Microsoft uses the room to test microphones, receivers, headphones and speakers. [Oddity Central, 2/20/2023]

Awesome!

When friends presented tattoo artist Karen Green with a brand-new iPhone in 2007, she never even opened the box, CNN reported. She had recently upgraded her unsmart phone and didn't want to switch carriers, "and I figured it's an iPhone, so it'll never go out of date," Green said. On Feb. 19, Green's still-shrink-wrapped first-edition iPhone sold for more than $63,000 through an online auction with Louisiana-based LCG Auctions. Featuring a 2-megapixel camera and "sharp corners front and back," the phone sold originally for $599. Green will use the funds to support her tattoo business. [CNN, 2/20/2023]

(Not a) Fetish

Don't call Aakash Majumdar's attraction to balloons a fetish. The 28-year-old resident of Mumbai, India, identifies as "objectum sexual," meaning he's attracted to inanimate objects -- but not just sexually. News.com.au reported on Feb. 16 that Majumdar wakes up every morning and "makes out" with his balloons, which he sleeps beside. "I like their presence and warmth, and share intimate feelings with my balloons and vice versa," he said. "When you're in love, you spend a lot of time together and accept all kinds of flaws." Of course, being balloons, they're vulnerable: "One day while inflating a few balloons with a pump, a balloon got popped," he said. "I cried for the loss and after that, I became more careful." [News.com.au, 2/16/2023]

Great Art!

Nick Stoeberl, 33, was awarded a Guinness world record in 2012 for the male with the longest tongue (3.97 inches), United Press International reported, and now he's putting it to good use. Stoeberl, who's been dubbed Lickasso, is making paintings with his organ, selling them for up to $1,200 each. The California man said he wraps his tongue in plastic wrap first, then plies his art on canvas. "Why not express myself through that medium?" he asked. [UPI, 2/21/2023]

Bright Idea

Post-COVID, Carnival parades have resumed in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, and one unnamed man was ready to PAR-TAY! The Daily Mail reported that on Feb. 19, military police arrested a man wearing a 7-foot-tall penis costume and flip-flops; he had allegedly been chasing women in the city center and "acting suspiciously." [Daily Mail, 2/22/2023]

News That Sounds Like a Joke

Oh, to never be a teenager again. Around 1 a.m. on Feb. 20, a homeowner in Centereach, New York, heard loud noises coming from his yard, Fox News reported. His surveillance video showed six people kicking down several sections of his fence. About three hours later, the suspects, aged 12 to 18, returned and ran through the fence together, apparently in completion of a TikTok challenge mimicking the Kool-Aid man. Officers caught up with the kids around 4:15 a.m. and charged them with several counts of criminal mischief; some of them had also destroyed fences in other parts of Suffolk County. [Fox News, 2/21/2023]

Send your weird news items with subject line WEIRD NEWS to WeirdNewsTips@amuniversal.com.

Tony Toto and his wife, Frances, of Allentown, Pennsylvania, are celebrating 57 years of marriage, WFMZ-TV reported in a feel-good Valentine's Day story. "We have been blessed that we had all these years," Tony said, noting "that one time when we had a rough time." Yeah, that was the time in 1983 when Frances hired teenaged hitmen five times to kill Tony. "I don't think I was thinking straight," Frances said. "It was like it was a love-hate kind of a thing." Of course, the murder attempts weren't successful, and Frances and the young hitmen were arrested. She spent four years in prison, but their love never wavered. A feature film called "I Love You to Death" was made about their troubles, and they became minor celebrities, traveling to movie premieres and giving interviews. Tony and Frances got counseling and committed to better communication, and decades later, have a long marriage to show for their efforts. [WFMZ, 2/14/2023]

The Aristocrats

On Feb. 11, during an intermission at the Hannover State Opera House in Hannover, Germany, ballet director Marco Goecke shocked even himself when he approached the dance critic from the Frankfurter Allgemeine Zeitung newspaper, Wiebke Huester, and smeared animal feces on her face. The Associated Press reported that Goecke was unhappy with a recent review of a production he staged in The Hague. Following the incident, he took off through the crowded theater lobby. But strangely, Goecke seemed to justify his actions in a later interview, saying that after having his work "soiled for years ... Once a certain point has been reached, I disagree." The opera house suspended and banned him from the facility until further notice. [AP, 2/13/2023]

Weird Science

People who suffer from chronic constipation now have a high-tech treatment option: a vibrating pill that stimulates the colon, CNN reported. The Vibrant capsule, prescribed by a doctor, is taken at bedtime and reaches the large intestine about 14 hours later. Vibrations cause the gut to contract, moving food along. Eventually, the capsule is eliminated and makes its way to a sewage treatment plant, where it's sifted out and sent to a landfill. Dr. Eamonn Quigley of Houston Methodist Hospital helped test the new technology. He said most people couldn't feel it working. "A minority could feel it. None of them felt it was being uncomfortable." But we're uncomfortable just reading this. [CNN, 2/8/2023]

Unconventional Weaponry

Christopher Gaddis, 41, was holding a cat in his arms when he was approached by Metro Nashville Police officers on Feb. 8, WSMV-TV reported. Gaddis had two outstanding warrants, and officers were trying to arrest him when he shoved the cat into the face of one of them, leaving several cuts on the officer's hands. Gaddis also kicked the officer. After being treated for his own injuries from the cat, Gaddis was charged with resisting arrest and assaulting an officer. [WSMV, 2/10/2023]

It's Come to This

In what prosecutor Owen Beale called an "organized criminal matter," Joby Pool, 32, pleaded guilty to theft and criminal damage in Kidderminster, England, magistrates court, The Guardian reported. His crime? Pool broke into a warehouse on Feb. 11 and towed away a trailer with about 200,000 Cadbury Creme Eggs, valued at about $37,000. He didn't get very far; when police stopped him, he "walked toward (them) with his hands up." "This clearly wasn't spur-of-the-moment offending," Beale said. "You don't just happen to learn about a trailer with that kind of value being available." The "Easter bunny," as police dubbed him, will be sentenced in March to about two years in jail. [Guardian, 2/14/2023]

Bright Ideas

-- In the Germantown neighborhood of Philadelphia, one gas station is employing a dramatic tactic to try to keep people experiencing homelessness away: blasting opera music over its outdoor speakers. WPVI-TV reported that neighbors aren't fans: "I heard all this music, I couldn't tell where it was coming from. Loud, it was unbelievable that time of night," said Clinton Barnes, who lives close by. "I don't think it's a deterrent," said Karen Clark. "They have to find something else." One neighbor said it was as loud as if someone had "cranked the volume all the way up" on the TV inside their home. Gas station employees refused to comment. [WPVI, 2/16/2023]

-- Austin Bristoe, 26, of Bloomington, Indiana, was sick and tired of people breaking into his 1998 Buick and stealing stuff, Fox59-TV reported. On Feb. 12, when police responded to a car fire, they found Bristoe just standing next to his burning vehicle, and he told them he set it on fire to stop the thefts. "If there was nothing left of the vehicle, then there would be nothing left to steal," Bristoe's logic went. As it burned, the fire caused a small explosion, and Bristoe commented, "I hoped the explosions would be bigger." After arresting him for arson, they searched him, finding several packed syringes and benzodiazepine. [Fox59, 2/14/2023]

Suspicions Confirmed

Police in Santa Cruz, California, are warning locals not to "engage" with the Cookie Monster, KION-TV reported on Feb. 15. A man named Adam Sandler (not the actor), known to dress up as "Sesame Street" characters and harass people, has surfaced in Santa Cruz. Resident Sarah Jones said he entices people "to want to take a photo with him," but as soon as they approach, he flips up his costume head and starts yelling. "Based on how dirty his costume was I knew it wasn't going in the right direction," she said. Sandler has not been charged with any crimes. [KION, 2/15/2023]

Update

News of the Weird reported last August about a 3 1/2-foot-tall, 200-pound bronze statue of Dennis the Menace that had disappeared from a playground in Monterey, California. On Feb. 8, Monterey County Sheriff Tina Nieto announced that Dennis had been found in Roberts Lake after authorities received an anonymous tip, the Associated Press reported. They were sure it was the same statue because the thief had cut through one of Dennis' feet to remove it, and the recovered statue's foot is damaged. "Today is a happy day!" Nieto gushed. [AP, 2/9/2023]

Weird Fashion

It's about time! Japanese garment company Takikou has developed a wearable bean bag, Oddity Central reported. "This concept was born out of the idea of a cushion that would allow you to totally let go, anytime, anywhere," said the company's Shogo Takikawa. "You can put this on and chill out in your living room or loads of other places." The bean bag is available in different sizes and colors, but it does weigh about 11 pounds (which might make you want to sit down more often). Prices range from $60 to $119. [Oddity Central, 2/14/2023]

Least Competent Criminal

Jose Luis Callisaya Diaz, who is serving a 15-year term in the maximum-security Chonchocoro prison facility in Bolivia, made a bold attempt at escape in February, Fox News reported. Diaz, also known as El Arana ("the spider"), wrapped himself in a sheepskin, got past a wall and crawled through the countryside surrounding the prison in the middle of the night. Juan Carlos Limpias said Diaz "took advantage of the inclement weather to try to escape through one of the walls of the external perimeter of the prison." He was apprehended after guards noticed he wasn't in his cell and photographed on all fours in the grass. Perhaps he needs a new nickname: La Oveja. [Fox News, 2/16/2023]

Send your weird news items with subject line WEIRD NEWS to WeirdNewsTips@amuniversal.com.

A couple in Etobicoke, Toronto, left on an extended business trip in January 2022, CTV News reported. When they returned home months later, they were stunned to realize that their house had been sold and the new owners had moved in. Police said a man and woman impersonated the owners, hired a real estate agent and listed the property using fake identification. Police are still looking for the imposters. [CTV News, 1/5/2023]

Size Matters

Momo the lar gibbon, who lives at the Kujukushima Zoo and Botanical Garden Mori Kirara in Nagasaki Prefecture, Japan, delivered a baby in February 2021, which surprised zookeepers, since Momo lived in her own enclosure with no males around. She was very protective of the offspring, United Press International reported, so it wasn't until two years later that handlers were able to collect DNA from the youngster to determine who the father was. As it turned out, a 34-year-old agile gibbon, Itou, was the baby daddy. Zookeepers found that a partition between Momo's exhibit and Itou's off-display area had a perforated board with holes about 9mm in diameter, and they believe the two were able to mate through one of those holes. The perforated board was replaced with a steel plate, but Momo and Itou will be introduced properly to each other so that they may live as a family. [UPI, 2/3/2023]

That Rule Doesn't Apply to Me

On Jan. 16, Brazilian attorney Leandro Mathias de Novaes delivered his mother to the Laboratoria Cura in Sao Paolo, where she was scheduled for an MRI. Before they both entered the MRI room, the New York Post reported, they were asked to remove any metal objects from their persons and signed a form detailing the protocols, but Novaes opted to not remove, or disclose, his concealed weapon. When the MRI's magnetic field yanked the pistol from his waistband, it fired and struck him in the stomach; he was hospitalized for three weeks after the incident but died on Feb. 6. [NY Post, 2/9/2023]

Clothing Optional

Trevyn Wayne Hill, 21, of Las Vegas, let it all hang out on Jan. 28 when he approached another guest in a stairwell at the Des Moines (Iowa) Downtown Marriott, KCCI-TV reported. Court documents said Hill was naked and brandishing a toilet plunger when he yelled, "I'm going to (expletive) get you" while chasing the other person. Hill cruised around the hotel in his birthday suit, destroying a sprinkler system and pulling several fire alarms before finally being subdued by firefighters. Hill pleaded not guilty to assault, first-degree criminal mischief and disorderly conduct. [KCCI, 2/3/2023]

Least Competent Criminal

Early on the morning of Feb. 5, 20-year-old Lantz Kurtz broke into a gas station in Palm Coast, Florida, and stole multiple items. He exited via the front door, apparently unaware that he'd left a big clue behind: his debit card, Fox35-TV reported. Officers responding to the alarm found the card and tracked down Kurtz, who told them he had intended to come back to the store and pay for the items. But Sheriff Rick Staly wasn't having it: "Leaving a debit card behind does not absolve you from theft or committing a burglary," he said. [Fox35, 2/8/2023]

Crime Spree

Robert Powers, 37, managed to terrorize multiple citizens of Altoona, Pennsylvania, on Feb. 6, WTAJ-TV reported. He allegedly broke into four different homes, telling one woman as he covered her mouth, "I'm Batman." At the next home, he choked a man, went through his pockets and held him hostage with a pocketknife. Next, he turned the man's gas stove on and forced him into his truck, heading across town at speeds of more than 100 mph before crashing into a Jeep. Powers then kicked open the door of a nearby home and repeatedly asked, "Why'd you do this, mom?" as he walked through the residence. Finally, at the last crime scene, police were able to subdue Powers, who admitted he may have ingested meth or bath salts. [WTAJ, 2/7/2023]

Great Art!

Marcelo "B-boy" De Souza Ribeiro of Sao Paolo, Brazil, is known as the most modified man in the world, with 1,500 tattoos covering his skin and now, a new transformation: a "devil hand." The Daily Star reported that Ribeiro did a lot of research before undergoing the procedure, which split his hand between the middle and ring fingers. "I began to see the possibility of making an opening ... through the middle where you can have opening and closing movements and a firmer folding of the hand," he said. Over the years, he's spent about $35,000 on his modifications, which also include a split tongue. Ribeiro said he thinks of his body as an "art exhibition." [Daily Star, 2/9/2023]

Bright Idea

Jose Ruben Nava, former director of the zoo in Chilpancingo, Mexico, is under fire after officials learned that he slaughtered four pygmy goats to serve at the zoo's year-end dinner, MSN reported. Fernando Ruiz Gutierrez, director of wildlife for the state's environment department, said serving the goat meat "put the health of the people who ate them at risk because these animals were not fit for human consumption." Nava is also accused of trading a zebra for tools. He was let go from his position in January after the death of a deer at the zoo. [MSN, 2/2/2023]

Irony

A 61-year-old butcher working at the Sheung Shui Slaughterhouse in Hong Kong died at the hands -- er, hooves -- of a pig he was trying to slaughter on Jan. 20, CNN reported. The unnamed man was knocked to the ground by the struggling pig, which had revived after a shot from a stun gun, and suffered a wound from a meat cleaver. Strangely, police said, the man's wounds were to his hand and foot; a cause of death had not been released. The Labour Department extended its "deepest sympathy to his family." [CNN, 1/21/2023]

Animal Antics

The Wyandotte (Michigan) Police Department opened an investigation in January after an officer was suspected of stealing another officer's lunch while he was out of the room. The "Today" show reported that Officer Barwig was called away from the break room to assist in the jail; when he returned, K-9 Officer Ice was seen licking his chops, and Barwig's sandwich was nowhere to be seen. "Officer Ice has invoked his Fifth Amendment right to remain silent and quite frankly is not cooperating with the investigation," the department posted on its Facebook page. Later, dozens of attorneys offered to represent Ice in court, but the department decided not to pursue discipline or criminal charges. [Today, 1/23/2023]

Can't Possibly Be True

Jesse and Deedee O'Dell of Tulsa, Oklahoma, normally spend around $10 for their Starbucks coffees, but on Jan. 7, their bill was considerably more, KOKI-TV reported. A few days later, when Deedee tried to use the same card at a mall, it was declined. That's when the couple discovered that Starbucks had given itself a $4,444.44 tip on their $10.90 bill. They contacted the district manager, who said there'd been an "issue" with the network, and they received two checks to cover the enormous gratuity -- but both checks bounced. While they wait for replacement checks, they've had to cancel a family vacation, "and the tickets are nonrefundable," said Jesse. A Starbucks representative said new checks are on the way and the mistake was caused by "possible human error." [KOKI, 2/7/2023]

Send your weird news items with subject line WEIRD NEWS to WeirdNewsTips@amuniversal.com.