Tony Toto and his wife, Frances, of Allentown, Pennsylvania, are celebrating 57 years of marriage, WFMZ-TV reported in a feel-good Valentine's Day story. "We have been blessed that we had all these years," Tony said, noting "that one time when we had a rough time." Yeah, that was the time in 1983 when Frances hired teenaged hitmen five times to kill Tony. "I don't think I was thinking straight," Frances said. "It was like it was a love-hate kind of a thing." Of course, the murder attempts weren't successful, and Frances and the young hitmen were arrested. She spent four years in prison, but their love never wavered. A feature film called "I Love You to Death" was made about their troubles, and they became minor celebrities, traveling to movie premieres and giving interviews. Tony and Frances got counseling and committed to better communication, and decades later, have a long marriage to show for their efforts. [WFMZ, 2/14/2023]

The Aristocrats

On Feb. 11, during an intermission at the Hannover State Opera House in Hannover, Germany, ballet director Marco Goecke shocked even himself when he approached the dance critic from the Frankfurter Allgemeine Zeitung newspaper, Wiebke Huester, and smeared animal feces on her face. The Associated Press reported that Goecke was unhappy with a recent review of a production he staged in The Hague. Following the incident, he took off through the crowded theater lobby. But strangely, Goecke seemed to justify his actions in a later interview, saying that after having his work "soiled for years ... Once a certain point has been reached, I disagree." The opera house suspended and banned him from the facility until further notice. [AP, 2/13/2023]

Weird Science

People who suffer from chronic constipation now have a high-tech treatment option: a vibrating pill that stimulates the colon, CNN reported. The Vibrant capsule, prescribed by a doctor, is taken at bedtime and reaches the large intestine about 14 hours later. Vibrations cause the gut to contract, moving food along. Eventually, the capsule is eliminated and makes its way to a sewage treatment plant, where it's sifted out and sent to a landfill. Dr. Eamonn Quigley of Houston Methodist Hospital helped test the new technology. He said most people couldn't feel it working. "A minority could feel it. None of them felt it was being uncomfortable." But we're uncomfortable just reading this. [CNN, 2/8/2023]

Unconventional Weaponry

Christopher Gaddis, 41, was holding a cat in his arms when he was approached by Metro Nashville Police officers on Feb. 8, WSMV-TV reported. Gaddis had two outstanding warrants, and officers were trying to arrest him when he shoved the cat into the face of one of them, leaving several cuts on the officer's hands. Gaddis also kicked the officer. After being treated for his own injuries from the cat, Gaddis was charged with resisting arrest and assaulting an officer. [WSMV, 2/10/2023]

It's Come to This

In what prosecutor Owen Beale called an "organized criminal matter," Joby Pool, 32, pleaded guilty to theft and criminal damage in Kidderminster, England, magistrates court, The Guardian reported. His crime? Pool broke into a warehouse on Feb. 11 and towed away a trailer with about 200,000 Cadbury Creme Eggs, valued at about $37,000. He didn't get very far; when police stopped him, he "walked toward (them) with his hands up." "This clearly wasn't spur-of-the-moment offending," Beale said. "You don't just happen to learn about a trailer with that kind of value being available." The "Easter bunny," as police dubbed him, will be sentenced in March to about two years in jail. [Guardian, 2/14/2023]

Bright Ideas

-- In the Germantown neighborhood of Philadelphia, one gas station is employing a dramatic tactic to try to keep people experiencing homelessness away: blasting opera music over its outdoor speakers. WPVI-TV reported that neighbors aren't fans: "I heard all this music, I couldn't tell where it was coming from. Loud, it was unbelievable that time of night," said Clinton Barnes, who lives close by. "I don't think it's a deterrent," said Karen Clark. "They have to find something else." One neighbor said it was as loud as if someone had "cranked the volume all the way up" on the TV inside their home. Gas station employees refused to comment. [WPVI, 2/16/2023]

-- Austin Bristoe, 26, of Bloomington, Indiana, was sick and tired of people breaking into his 1998 Buick and stealing stuff, Fox59-TV reported. On Feb. 12, when police responded to a car fire, they found Bristoe just standing next to his burning vehicle, and he told them he set it on fire to stop the thefts. "If there was nothing left of the vehicle, then there would be nothing left to steal," Bristoe's logic went. As it burned, the fire caused a small explosion, and Bristoe commented, "I hoped the explosions would be bigger." After arresting him for arson, they searched him, finding several packed syringes and benzodiazepine. [Fox59, 2/14/2023]

Suspicions Confirmed

Police in Santa Cruz, California, are warning locals not to "engage" with the Cookie Monster, KION-TV reported on Feb. 15. A man named Adam Sandler (not the actor), known to dress up as "Sesame Street" characters and harass people, has surfaced in Santa Cruz. Resident Sarah Jones said he entices people "to want to take a photo with him," but as soon as they approach, he flips up his costume head and starts yelling. "Based on how dirty his costume was I knew it wasn't going in the right direction," she said. Sandler has not been charged with any crimes. [KION, 2/15/2023]

Update

News of the Weird reported last August about a 3 1/2-foot-tall, 200-pound bronze statue of Dennis the Menace that had disappeared from a playground in Monterey, California. On Feb. 8, Monterey County Sheriff Tina Nieto announced that Dennis had been found in Roberts Lake after authorities received an anonymous tip, the Associated Press reported. They were sure it was the same statue because the thief had cut through one of Dennis' feet to remove it, and the recovered statue's foot is damaged. "Today is a happy day!" Nieto gushed. [AP, 2/9/2023]

Weird Fashion

It's about time! Japanese garment company Takikou has developed a wearable bean bag, Oddity Central reported. "This concept was born out of the idea of a cushion that would allow you to totally let go, anytime, anywhere," said the company's Shogo Takikawa. "You can put this on and chill out in your living room or loads of other places." The bean bag is available in different sizes and colors, but it does weigh about 11 pounds (which might make you want to sit down more often). Prices range from $60 to $119. [Oddity Central, 2/14/2023]

Least Competent Criminal

Jose Luis Callisaya Diaz, who is serving a 15-year term in the maximum-security Chonchocoro prison facility in Bolivia, made a bold attempt at escape in February, Fox News reported. Diaz, also known as El Arana ("the spider"), wrapped himself in a sheepskin, got past a wall and crawled through the countryside surrounding the prison in the middle of the night. Juan Carlos Limpias said Diaz "took advantage of the inclement weather to try to escape through one of the walls of the external perimeter of the prison." He was apprehended after guards noticed he wasn't in his cell and photographed on all fours in the grass. Perhaps he needs a new nickname: La Oveja. [Fox News, 2/16/2023]

Send your weird news items with subject line WEIRD NEWS to WeirdNewsTips@amuniversal.com.

A couple in Etobicoke, Toronto, left on an extended business trip in January 2022, CTV News reported. When they returned home months later, they were stunned to realize that their house had been sold and the new owners had moved in. Police said a man and woman impersonated the owners, hired a real estate agent and listed the property using fake identification. Police are still looking for the imposters. [CTV News, 1/5/2023]

Size Matters

Momo the lar gibbon, who lives at the Kujukushima Zoo and Botanical Garden Mori Kirara in Nagasaki Prefecture, Japan, delivered a baby in February 2021, which surprised zookeepers, since Momo lived in her own enclosure with no males around. She was very protective of the offspring, United Press International reported, so it wasn't until two years later that handlers were able to collect DNA from the youngster to determine who the father was. As it turned out, a 34-year-old agile gibbon, Itou, was the baby daddy. Zookeepers found that a partition between Momo's exhibit and Itou's off-display area had a perforated board with holes about 9mm in diameter, and they believe the two were able to mate through one of those holes. The perforated board was replaced with a steel plate, but Momo and Itou will be introduced properly to each other so that they may live as a family. [UPI, 2/3/2023]

That Rule Doesn't Apply to Me

On Jan. 16, Brazilian attorney Leandro Mathias de Novaes delivered his mother to the Laboratoria Cura in Sao Paolo, where she was scheduled for an MRI. Before they both entered the MRI room, the New York Post reported, they were asked to remove any metal objects from their persons and signed a form detailing the protocols, but Novaes opted to not remove, or disclose, his concealed weapon. When the MRI's magnetic field yanked the pistol from his waistband, it fired and struck him in the stomach; he was hospitalized for three weeks after the incident but died on Feb. 6. [NY Post, 2/9/2023]

Clothing Optional

Trevyn Wayne Hill, 21, of Las Vegas, let it all hang out on Jan. 28 when he approached another guest in a stairwell at the Des Moines (Iowa) Downtown Marriott, KCCI-TV reported. Court documents said Hill was naked and brandishing a toilet plunger when he yelled, "I'm going to (expletive) get you" while chasing the other person. Hill cruised around the hotel in his birthday suit, destroying a sprinkler system and pulling several fire alarms before finally being subdued by firefighters. Hill pleaded not guilty to assault, first-degree criminal mischief and disorderly conduct. [KCCI, 2/3/2023]

Least Competent Criminal

Early on the morning of Feb. 5, 20-year-old Lantz Kurtz broke into a gas station in Palm Coast, Florida, and stole multiple items. He exited via the front door, apparently unaware that he'd left a big clue behind: his debit card, Fox35-TV reported. Officers responding to the alarm found the card and tracked down Kurtz, who told them he had intended to come back to the store and pay for the items. But Sheriff Rick Staly wasn't having it: "Leaving a debit card behind does not absolve you from theft or committing a burglary," he said. [Fox35, 2/8/2023]

Crime Spree

Robert Powers, 37, managed to terrorize multiple citizens of Altoona, Pennsylvania, on Feb. 6, WTAJ-TV reported. He allegedly broke into four different homes, telling one woman as he covered her mouth, "I'm Batman." At the next home, he choked a man, went through his pockets and held him hostage with a pocketknife. Next, he turned the man's gas stove on and forced him into his truck, heading across town at speeds of more than 100 mph before crashing into a Jeep. Powers then kicked open the door of a nearby home and repeatedly asked, "Why'd you do this, mom?" as he walked through the residence. Finally, at the last crime scene, police were able to subdue Powers, who admitted he may have ingested meth or bath salts. [WTAJ, 2/7/2023]

Great Art!

Marcelo "B-boy" De Souza Ribeiro of Sao Paolo, Brazil, is known as the most modified man in the world, with 1,500 tattoos covering his skin and now, a new transformation: a "devil hand." The Daily Star reported that Ribeiro did a lot of research before undergoing the procedure, which split his hand between the middle and ring fingers. "I began to see the possibility of making an opening ... through the middle where you can have opening and closing movements and a firmer folding of the hand," he said. Over the years, he's spent about $35,000 on his modifications, which also include a split tongue. Ribeiro said he thinks of his body as an "art exhibition." [Daily Star, 2/9/2023]

Bright Idea

Jose Ruben Nava, former director of the zoo in Chilpancingo, Mexico, is under fire after officials learned that he slaughtered four pygmy goats to serve at the zoo's year-end dinner, MSN reported. Fernando Ruiz Gutierrez, director of wildlife for the state's environment department, said serving the goat meat "put the health of the people who ate them at risk because these animals were not fit for human consumption." Nava is also accused of trading a zebra for tools. He was let go from his position in January after the death of a deer at the zoo. [MSN, 2/2/2023]

Irony

A 61-year-old butcher working at the Sheung Shui Slaughterhouse in Hong Kong died at the hands -- er, hooves -- of a pig he was trying to slaughter on Jan. 20, CNN reported. The unnamed man was knocked to the ground by the struggling pig, which had revived after a shot from a stun gun, and suffered a wound from a meat cleaver. Strangely, police said, the man's wounds were to his hand and foot; a cause of death had not been released. The Labour Department extended its "deepest sympathy to his family." [CNN, 1/21/2023]

Animal Antics

The Wyandotte (Michigan) Police Department opened an investigation in January after an officer was suspected of stealing another officer's lunch while he was out of the room. The "Today" show reported that Officer Barwig was called away from the break room to assist in the jail; when he returned, K-9 Officer Ice was seen licking his chops, and Barwig's sandwich was nowhere to be seen. "Officer Ice has invoked his Fifth Amendment right to remain silent and quite frankly is not cooperating with the investigation," the department posted on its Facebook page. Later, dozens of attorneys offered to represent Ice in court, but the department decided not to pursue discipline or criminal charges. [Today, 1/23/2023]

Can't Possibly Be True

Jesse and Deedee O'Dell of Tulsa, Oklahoma, normally spend around $10 for their Starbucks coffees, but on Jan. 7, their bill was considerably more, KOKI-TV reported. A few days later, when Deedee tried to use the same card at a mall, it was declined. That's when the couple discovered that Starbucks had given itself a $4,444.44 tip on their $10.90 bill. They contacted the district manager, who said there'd been an "issue" with the network, and they received two checks to cover the enormous gratuity -- but both checks bounced. While they wait for replacement checks, they've had to cancel a family vacation, "and the tickets are nonrefundable," said Jesse. A Starbucks representative said new checks are on the way and the mistake was caused by "possible human error." [KOKI, 2/7/2023]

Send your weird news items with subject line WEIRD NEWS to WeirdNewsTips@amuniversal.com.

Jean Merritt of Philadelphia has a special knack for spreading goodwill. She writes letters. According to Philadelphia magazine, Merritt solicits mailing addresses and then responds with a handwritten ("in meticulous cursive") letter on captivating stationery. Her missive to reporter Victor Fiorillo mentioned that she has an overabundance of writing papers and postcards. "I've been writing letters since I was a little girl, and never stopped," Merritt said. Along with requested letters, she writes to people in nursing homes through Letters Against Isolation and to people in prisons. "My mother collected stationery, and I'm still using the stationery I found in her house when she died in 2011. ... I see stationery on clearance, and I can't resist it." Sadly, she said most people don't write her back. But, she noted, "Doing this is also just really good for my brain." [Philadelphia magazine, 2/2/2023]

Inexplicable

-- During the height of the COVID-19 pandemic, when students in Harvey (Illinois) School District 152 were learning remotely, the district provided meals that families could pick up. According to WGN-TV, food service worker Vera Liddell, 66, allegedly helped herself to some of that food -- to be specific, 11,000 cases of chicken wings. Liddell worked for the district for more than a decade. A business manager uncovered the plot during a routine audit, finding "individual invoices signed by Liddell for massive quantities of chicken wings, an item that was never served to students because they contain bones," prosecutors said. Liddell would place the orders, then pick up the food in a district van. They didn't reveal what Liddell did with the $1.5 million worth of wings. She was charged with theft. [WGN, 1/31/2023]

-- An unnamed 27-year-old man was arrested on Jan. 27 in Seattle after a homeowner returned to her house to find him in her bathroom, filling the tub with water. KOMO-TV reported that when police arrived, they discovered a smashed window and the burglar inside, "clothed but very wet, and the bathtub was full of water," reports said. The intruder would not provide a motive for his strange break-in and was charged with residential burglary. [KOMO, 1/28/2023]

Suspicions Confirmed

Varsity basketball coach Jahmal Street and assistant coach Arlisha Boykins were fired from their positions at Churchland High School in Portsmouth, Virginia, after Boykins, 22, came off the bench as a sub in a Jan. 21 girls' JV game, The Washington Post reported. The girl who was unavailable for the game was 13 years old. As a result of the incident, the team's remaining games were canceled. Churchland investigated and held meetings with players and parents. "Coaches always preach to kids about integrity ... so I was just shocked," the father of the absent player said. He said his daughter will not attend Churchland next year. [Washington Post, 2/1/2023]

Unclear on the Concept

Musa Hasahya Kasera, 68, has a problem, but he admits it stems from his own irresponsibility, Yahoo! News reported. The eastern Ugandan man has 12 wives, 102 children and 578 grandchildren. "At first it was a joke," he said, "but now this has its problems. ... Two of my wives left because I could not afford the basics like food, education, clothing." Most of the family live in a house with a rusting corrugated iron roof on a mere 2 acres of land. "I can only remember the name of my first and the last born, but some of the children, I can't recall their names," Kasera lamented. Now his wives are using contraception; "I have learnt from my irresponsible act of producing so many children that I can't look after," he said. Horse, meet barn door. [Yahoo! News, 2/2/2023]

Americans Abroad

American animal rights activist Alicia Day, 34, was arrested in Moscow, Russia, on Feb. 1, according to Reuters, after she paraded a calf through Red Square, shouting "Animals are not food!" In a Russian court, she was fined 20,000 rubles ($285) and sentenced to 13 days of "administrative arrest." Although Day is in Russia on a tourist visa, she explained in court that she had a driver bring the calf to Red Square so she could "show it a beautiful place in our beautiful country." [Reuters, 2/1/2023]

-- A 34-year-old California man was arrested in Florence, Italy, on Jan. 26 after he drove his rented Fiat onto the Ponte Vecchio, a stone bridge dating from 1345 that spans the Arno River and is now a pedestrian walkway and shopping destination. SF Gate reported that the unnamed driver told police he couldn't find parking and didn't realize he was on the historic bridge. He was fined about 500 euros. [SF Gate, 1/31/2023]

Awwwwww

The Rhode Island Department of Health played along with the Cumberland, Rhode Island, police department after it received a request from a little girl for DNA testing on a partially eaten cookie and some gnawed-on carrot sticks, the Associated Press reported. She was hoping for a conclusive match for Santa Claus, but alas, the department said it was unable to "definitively confirm or refute the presence of Santa" in her home. However, it did find DNA closely matching Rangifer tarandus, or reindeer, on the carrots. [AP, 1/24/2023]

Police Report

Murphy the ape statue was an "icon" at Design Emporium Antiques in Kensington, Maryland -- until he was stolen in the wee hours of Jan. 4, the New York Post reported. Murphy, made of cast iron and weighing 200 pounds, was hurriedly loaded into the bed of an "older model Chevrolet Colorado Z71," authorities said, as seen on a surveillance video. The suspect "pulled right up and had the bolt cutters ready" to cut the cable securing the sculpture. Shop owner Kristina Jamgochian said people would take selfies with Murphy. "It's my business and I feel violated," she said. A $10,000 reward awaits anyone who helps recover the gorilla. [NY Post, 1/31/2023]

Oops!

-- A 66-year-old female patient at the Glen Oaks Alzheimer's Special Care Center in Urbandale, Iowa, had suffered a slow decline and was moved into hospice care in late December. On Jan. 3, CBS News reported, the woman was pronounced dead, and the funeral home was called. She was placed in a body bag and transported to the Ankeny Funeral Home and Crematory, where workers unzipped the bag and got a shock: They "observed (the resident's) chest moving and she gasped for air," a report from the Iowa Department of Inspections and Appeals detailed. Responding EMS workers were able to get a pulse and monitor breathing, but she had no eye movement or verbal response. She was returned to the care facility, where she died two days later with her family at her side. The home is facing $10,000 in fines. [CBS News, 2/2/2023]

-- In New York City, last week included the unveiling of the Long Island Railroad's new Grand Central Madison terminal, which was built to the tune of $11 billion. But, NBC New York reported on Feb. 1, the new facility is marred by a spelling mistake -- etched in stone. A carved quote from artist Georgia O'Keeffe sports a misspelling of her name, with only one F. "We clearly F-ed this one up and it's being fixed," said MTA Communications Director Tim Minton. However, he couldn't say when the edit would be complete. [NBC New York, 2/1/2023]

Send your weird news items with subject line WEIRD NEWS to WeirdNewsTips@amuniversal.com.