What do you get when you cross spring picture day, a green screen background and St. Patrick's Day? Completely memorable elementary school photos, of course! At Sugar Grove Elementary School in Center Grove, Indiana, picture day happened to fall on St. Patrick's Day, United Press International reported. And no kid wants to get pinched on the saint's special day, so many kids were dressed in green. One problem: Inter-State Photography used green screens, like those used on TV weather broadcasts, behind the kids, so many of them "disappeared" in the initial proofs. Amanda Snow said her son's green hoodie turned into a fence, and "he had a green mohawk, but that is completely gone. ... It ended up being just a hilarious fiasco," she said. The photo company said the issues will be fixed on the final photos, but Snow hopes not: "I might reach out to the company and see if I can get the unedited ones, because honestly, they've brought me so much joy and laughter over the last day," she said. [UPI, 3/28/2022]

Animal Antics

Step aside, Punxsutawney Phil. Mojave Max, a 33-year-old desert tortoise, sees your predictions of spring and calls them with a dramatic yearly emergence from his burrow in Las Vegas, Nevada. According to KSNV-TV, Max lives at the Las Vegas Springs Preserve, where he is the official mascot for the Clark County Desert Conservation Program. Every year, he marks the beginning of spring by making his way out of his burrow when his internal clock and the longer daylight hours tell him to do so. This year, Max peered out on March 26 at 12:21 p.m. Of course, Max's interpretation of "spring" is hyper-local: It was 93 degrees in Las Vegas on March 26. [KSNV, 3/27/2022]

Recurring Themes

At least this wannabe traveler didn't need help with his luggage. On March 29, an unidentified man scaled the barbed-wire fence at Midway Airport in Chicago and approached a private jet that had been cleared for takeoff, CBS News reported. As he tried to stall the plane, he removed his shirt, shoes, jacket and pants. Police said he appeared to be intoxicated. He jumped up on a wing of the plane; the pilot, in contact with air traffic control, said, "He's right here at the front of the jet. He's trying to get in. Our door is open here." Chicago police apprehended him and took him to a local hospital for a mental evaluation. The plane eventually took off. [CBS News, 3/30/2022]

Least Mature Criminal

In Warren, Ohio, police responded to robbery call with a twist straight out of elementary school. As a 22-year-old man walked along a road late on March 27, a man wearing a ski mask approached him and asked if he was a drug dealer. When the victim said he was not, the robber allegedly pulled out a knife and demanded money, WKBN-TV reported. After the thief got about $80 from him, he made the victim "pinkie promise" that he wouldn't call the cops, then rode off on a bicycle. The police have not located the pinkie promise perp. [WKBN, 3/29/2022]

The Continuing Crisis

Christopher Whetstone, 41, was arrested March 29 after authorities carrying out a search warrant at his home in Temecula, California, found two rocket launchers and a practice grenade in a trash can, National Public Radio reported. He was charged with grand theft, although it's unclear whether the charges are related to the discarded heavy artillery items. Riverside County Sheriff's Department Sgt. Edward Soto said narcotics and a bazooka also were found in the home, which is adjacent to a middle school. [NPR, 4/1/2022]

Sweet (or Savory?) Revenge

When Alisha Moy, 20, and Jordan Cobbold, 21, broke it off after just a few weeks of dating, Moy was ready to move on. But Cobbold, apparently, was not, Metro News reported on March 31. A couple of weeks after they met, Cobbold suggested he take a key to her flat in Suffolk, England, which raised red flags for her. "I remember calling my mum because I was worried about it," she said. After she messaged him to break it off, she returned home from work to find "something wrong" in her apartment. "He'd pulled my shoes out of the little cloakroom and poured beans and spaghetti in there. There were condiments splattered all over the walls and cooking sauce poured all over my vacuum cleaner," she said. Cobbold had cut the cords to all her brand-new electrical appliances. Damage was estimated at about $2,000; police arrested him a few days later and he was fined, given community service and a restraining order. [Metro News, 3/31/2022]

Inappropriate Behavior

An unidentified crane driver in Dublin, Ireland, lost his job after he recorded himself dropping a bag of his own excrement from the crane cab onto a rooftop on March 30, DublinLive reported. While flinging the sick sack overboard, the man joked about "the joys of being a crane driver" and laughed, much to the horror of social media viewers who saw the video. The construction company said the driver had been removed immediately and would "not work on any of our other sites in the future." They also asked social media platforms to remove the video. [DublinLive, 3/31/2022]

Compelling Explanation

Kitty Deering of Edmond, Oklahoma, was surprised to learn that students at her daughter's high school were selling "white privilege" cards for $10 around Valentine's Day, KFOR-TV reported on March 31. The white cards read "Trumps Everything" on the front and, on the back, "This card grants its bearers happiness because it's the color of your skin and not the choices that you make that determines your ability to be successful." But Joel Patrick, the creator of the cards (who is Black), said the cards were "created as a joke. If they're saying this in seriousness, that's a personal problem with them. You don't go around telling someone you're better than them." Deering isn't buying it. "There's been years of ongoing issues of segregation here ... between staff, between students, between the community," she said. "We have to change it. That's not how I raise my children." [KFOR, 3/31/2022]

Unclear on the Concept

The owner of a tree-removal service in Dearborn, Michigan, has been arrested after several warnings about dumping debris in Detroit city limits, Fox2-TV reported. Police said Mahmoud Saad already had more than $14,000 in fines before his arrest on March 25, which he had paid. "Vehicles that have been registered to this person we have caught eight different times on our dumping cameras," said Officer Jeremy Woods. "Every time we talk to him, he acts like he's remorseful and then he does it again." Cmdr. Eric Decker called it a "slap in the face." Saad was held on a misdemeanor charge, which may result in more fines and having to pay for cleanup at multiple locations. [Fox2, 3/25/2022]

Someone in Royton, Oldham, England, woke up on March 20 and felt like something was missing from their life. And maybe breakfast was particularly difficult that morning. The Manchester Evening News reported that at the Barclay Pizza & Prosecco restaurant, as workers cleaned up after Saturday night's festivities, they found a full set of dentures on the floor in the bar. Barclay owner Emma Whelan posted a photo of a plastic bag containing the false teeth on Facebook, hoping to locate the owner. "We get a lot of things left behind after a night in the Barclay ... but this is a new one," Whelan said. "It must have been a cracking night." [Manchester Evening News, 3/20/2022]

Oops

The Roller-McNutt Funeral Home in Little Rock, Arkansas, is facing a lawsuit on behalf of the family of Harold D. Lee of Pauline, South Carolina, who was hoping to be buried next to his parents at a Quitman, Arkansas, cemetery after his death on Thanksgiving Day 2019. Lee's body was transferred to the Roller-McNutt facility and arrangements were made for the casket and funeral, KNOE-TV reported, but according to the lawsuit, the funeral home alerted the family on Dec. 10, 2019, that they had "accidentally cremated the body." Lee was extremely religious and "stickily (sic) desired not to be cremated, as he believed his body would be raptured following the second coming," the lawsuit stated. His wife, Eunice, was violently shaking in shock when she got the news. The funeral home waived the cost of the funeral and returned $5,000 after the mistake was made, the lawsuit noted. [KNOE, 3/22/2022]

Out of the Mouths of Babes

Kristin Wiley, 49, was pulled over by Indian River County (Florida) Sheriff's officers after she barely missed hitting their stopped vehicle on March 20, The Smoking Gun reported. When they approached the car, they saw her 9-year-old son in the back seat, crying. The officer noted that Wiley's eyes were "watery and red in color," and he smelled alcohol on her breath, so he asked if she'd been drinking. She replied, "No," but her son piped up from the back seat, "Mom, you can't lie to the police. You did drink." He told the officer that his mom had been drinking at a party and said he was "very scared while Kristin was operating the vehicle," the officer reported. A breath test recorded her alcohol content at nearly three times the legal limit. Along with DUI, she was charged with child abuse. [Smoking Gun, 3/21/2022]

Awesome!

When Steve Nichols and John Winn of Indian Trail, North Carolina, saw a TV news story about a dog whose owners abandoned him because they thought he was "gay," they knew they had to do something. The couple of 33 years told The Charlotte Observer that they drove to Albemarle on March 23 to adopt the dog, whom they named Oscar, after the Irish poet Oscar Wilde. Oscar's previous owners had surrendered him for humping another male dog, which, Nichols said, "was one of the stupidest things I've ever heard. That's just pack behavior." Nichols noted that the dog hadn't been neutered and was suffering from heartworm, which led him to believe that "the owner apparently didn't do anything to take care of this dog." Oscar is getting the care he needs and will join the couple's other dog, Harry, at their home. [Charlotte Observer, 3/23/2022]

Great Art

In the London neighborhood of Richmond, an unusual property that's been dubbed the "Invisible House" is attracting attention -- or flying under the radar -- of passersby, MyLondon reported. The front of the home sits on a busy thoroughfare and is almost completely covered with one-way mirrored glass, which reflects a roundabout across the road and the busy sidewalk in front. The family, who wanted to remain anonymous, said the architect wanted the mirror to "make the house 'talk with its environment.' We really liked the idea and ran with it." The back of the house sits on a quiet lane and features traditional architecture. [MyLondon, 3/22/2022]

And Their Little Bird, Too!

In a scene eerily reminiscent of "The Wizard of Oz," the Castellanos family of Arabi, Louisiana, took a wild ride on March 22 as a destructive tornado ripped through the area, ABC News reported. Dea Castellanos was sitting on a couch in her living room when the house began to spin, whipping her into a bedroom. Her daughter, who has muscular dystrophy, was in another bedroom. The one-story home was lifted from its foundation and crashed down in the middle of the street, where neighbors called 911 and the girl was taken to the hospital. One of the Castellanos' pet birds stood among the rubble as they salvaged what they could; family members were "doing fine" after their ordeal. [ABC News, 3/23/2022]

Welcome to Hogwarts, Harry!

A U.K.-based startup called Invisibility Shield Co. has brought Harry Potter's most handy tool to reality, Oddity Central reported. The company's technology isn't quite as perfect as the fictional character's cloak, but it's close: "From the observer's perspective," the company says, "the background light is effectively smeared horizontally across the front face of the shield, over the area where the subject would ordinarily be seen." Of course, they add, the shield won't protect users from dementors or Voldemort himself. They hope to start deliveries in December. [Oddity Central, 3/22/2022]

Bright Ideas

-- One exhibit at the March International Robot Exhibition in Tokyo attracted a lot of attention: Kawasaki's Bex, a prototype robot goat that can carry 220 pounds of cargo (or humans). The Bex is named after the ibex, a large wild goat of Eurasia and Africa that's famously sure-footed, Engadget reported. However, on flat surfaces, Bex moves along on wheels attached to its "knees," and on rougher terrain, it walks at a slower pace. Kawasaki reportedly envisions it being used to transport construction materials and to carry out remote industrial site inspections. [Engadget, 3/14/2022]

-- Need socks? Need exercise? Souki Socks, a small factory in Japan's Nara Prefecture, has you covered -- or at least your toes. The company devised a contraption that combines a stationary bike with a sock-knitting machine and called it Charix. Before customers sit down, Oddity Central reported, they choose the size and colors for their socks. Riders pedal for about 10 minutes; the staff sew the toes and finish the socks on the spot, and happy clients take the new pair home. [Oddity Central, 3/21/2022]

News That Sounds Like a Joke

Around Corsham, Wiltshire, England, people, sheep -- even a former police German shepherd -- are being terrorized by two aggressive canines, Metro News reported. "There were two unpleasant Chihuahuas who attacked the German shepherd, so the size of a dog is no reflection on their aggressiveness," said councillor Ruth Hopkinson. "They weren't leashed, and the owner thought, 'They're only little, they're only friendly.' But you have to be really careful." One resident described the Chihuahuas as "bloody Mexican hooligans," and Hopkinson warned that the little dogs are causing havoc during a sensitive time of year: "If in a lambing field, please keep to the paths and your dog on a leash. When they're spooked, the ewe and lamb can become separated and (because they're not very bright creatures) they can't find each other, and it is leading to lamb deaths. The dogs may just be 'playing,' but that's not how the sheep see it." [Metro News, 3/25/2022]

Thirteen-year-old Matilda Walden of Bentham, United Kingdom, has broken the Guinness World Record for assembling a Mr. Potato Head, United Press International reported on March 14. Walden put together the iconic toy in just 5.69 seconds. The previous record had been in place for 10 years. Her secret technique? "I had to be joining the nose and mustache together as I picked them up in one hand," she said. Walden was hoping to raise awareness of Skipton Extended Learning for All, an organization that offers services to children. Walden noted, "I have disabilities, and sometimes find that in other community events I was not welcome and people judge me." She is thinking about going for the record for assembling a Mr. Potato Head while blindfolded. [UPI, 3/14/2022]

Inexplicable

On March 12, a standoff in Bedford County, Pennsylvania, dragged on for 10 hours after Catherine Ann Imler, 57, made an odd appearance around 1:30 p.m. at another resident's home, WJAC-TV reported. Imler was naked, and she reportedly forcefully entered the home, where she stole the man's shotgun. As she walked out his back door with the gun, he asked her what she was doing, and she said, "It's my house." Imler then returned to her own home. The victim called authorities, who set up a perimeter around Imler's house but couldn't extract her until late that evening, when she was taken to UPMC Altoona with self-inflicted injuries from a sword. [WJAC, 3/14/2022]

Bright Idea

A big night out on March 12 led Leoni Fildes, 34, to a big idea: She would get an Uber from The Church Inn in Salford, United Kingdom, to Ukraine, to "help" the situation there. Fildes admits she had "one too many double pink gins and shots of Sambuca," the Manchester Evening News reported, and she was saved from her drunken philanthropic tendencies by fiscal realities: Her Uber app reported "insufficient funds" to back the 1,700-mile trip, which would have cost about 4,500 British pounds. (Not for lack of trying, though -- Uber attempted to make the transaction nine times.) "I remember when we were looking, we said, 'Oh, we'll get the comfort one.' That's dearer -- the XL one," Fildes said. "I'm so glad I didn’t have the funds available." [Manchester Evening News, 3/17/2022]

Oops, I Did It Again

NBC2-TV reported on March 6 that Anthony Antonaras, 38, of Venice, Florida, inexplicably rammed his pickup truck three times into the home of a woman he knows, damaging her garage doors and a window near the front door. When she came outside, Antonaras was sitting in the bed of the truck as “Wrecking Ball” by Miley Cyrus blared from the stereo. He told police that his “foot slipped”; but he also said that the woman is “not a good person” and that the incident was “a message.” Antonaras could be heard screaming expletives while the homeowner was speaking with the 911 dispatcher on the phone. He faces felony charges for criminal mischief and other offenses. [NBC2, 3/6/2022]

We All Need a Little Good News

Sunday, March 13, was a holiday in New Zealand: Waitangi Day. As such, Turanga library in Christchurch was scheduled to be closed for the day, but the automated door locks malfunctioned, The Guardian reported, and the unstaffed and unsecured library was used by 380 people that day -- without any ill effects. "Our self-issue machines automatically started up and 147 books were issued by customers," a library staff member said. "No book-theft alarms went off, and at this stage nothing has been reported missing, nor have we spotted any damage." Only one disgruntled customer left a note about there being "no librarians in sight." "We're grateful for the honesty of the people who used the library during this time," said Bruce Rendall, head of facilities, property and planning at Christchurch city council. [Guardian, 3/14/2022]

Least Competent Criminal

Thomas Eugene Colucci of Spring Hill, Florida, wasn't quite sure that the methamphetamine he purchased from a man he met at an area bar was the real deal, Fox13-TV reported. So on March 10, he called 911 to ask authorities to test his stash. Colucci told the Hernando County Sheriff's Office that as an experienced meth user, he knew what it should feel like, and handed two small baggies over to a deputy. He wanted officials to "put the person in trouble" who sold him the drugs, but he couldn't provide a name or contact information. Deputies did test the substance, which proved to be meth, and placed Colucci under arrest for possession. [Fox13, 3/11/2022]

Blue Light Special

Pastor Paul Knight of Hope Church in Grand Forks, North Dakota, is puzzled. On the morning of March 9, as he drove by his own home, he noticed that someone had placed a giant K from a Kmart store on his front lawn, the Grand Forks Herald reported. The sign is believed to be from the Kmart store that's being redeveloped in town. "I don't know who to call," Pastor Knight said. "So I am kind of making a general announcement: The people who are responsible for this, you're welcome to remove it anytime. My wife hopes it's gone by June, I think." [Grand Forks Herald, 3/14/2022]

What Are the Odds?

Katie Chisholm, 32, is only about 2% Irish, according to her ancestry.com report, but the luck o' the Irish was with her, and her mother, Mary Adams, 67, and her daughter, Charlotte Chisholm, 1, as they all were born on March 17, The Irish Sun reported. Katie, of Omaha, Nebraska, says she and her family "just feel like the luckiest people ever. My husband's family has a much stronger Irish heritage -- his mother's maiden name is O'Connor. St. Patrick's Day was always a major family holiday for him growing up." As for those odds of three generations of women born on March 17? According to the Sun, they're about 1 in 100,000. [Irish Sun, 3/16/2022]

You Had One Job

On March 14, as the Norwegian Escape, a 164,000-ton cruise ship that can carry 4,000 passengers, attempted to pull away from Puerto Plata in the Dominican Republic, it hit the seabed, damaging the ship's hull and putting an end to the rest of the seven-day cruise. According to CNN, Norwegian Cruise Lines said the grounding was the result of wind; passengers were evacuated and will receive a full refund, plus a credit toward a future cruise. Passengers didn't seem to mind being stranded in paradise; one tweeted that "morale is high." [CNN, 3/16/2022]

Unclear on the Concept

Jackson, Wisconsin, dentist Scott Charmoli, 61, was convicted on March 10 of five counts of health care fraud and two counts of making false statements about his patients' treatment, The Washington Post reported, after a scheme in which he drilled into and broke his patients' teeth so he would have to charge them to fix the damage. His plan increased his income from $1.4 million in 2014 to $2.5 million a year later. Federal prosecutors reported that Charmoli inserted more crowns in his patients' mouths than 95% of Wisconsin dentists between 2016 and 2019; one assistant testified that the change in strategy made her uncomfortable and she ended up leaving the practice. Charmoli is scheduled for sentencing in June. [Washington Post, 3/16/2022]