Kazakh bodybuilder, actor and self-described "sexy maniac" Yuri Tolochko announced his marriage to his beloved, a sex doll named Margo, on Instagram on Nov. 25 and shared with his followers their wedding video, in which the joyous couple, wearing a tuxedo and a full-length wedding dress, exchange vows and welcome friends and loved ones to a reception after the ceremony, The Sun reported. The groom identifies himself as pansexual and able to fall in love with "a character, an image, a soul," and said the two became engaged a year ago, after he rescued her from some unwanted attention in a nightclub. "Couples need to talk less and connect more," Tolochko said. "Margo and I realized that it takes more than words to have a conversation." [The Sun, 11/25/2020]

Nice Try

Jin Wu, of Taiwan, told his Facebook followers on Nov. 21 about his good fortune in purchasing a PlayStation 5 the previous day, and marveled at the low price he paid for it, reported Taiwan News. The reason became clear when the seller revealed he had tried to pass the console off as an air purifier, but his wife wasn't fooled. "My wife wants to sell it," the middle-aged gamer told Wu. "It turns out that women can tell the difference between a PS5 and an air filter." [Taiwan News, 11/30/2020]

Bright Idea

A Washington State Patrol officer pulled over a motorist on I-90 near North Bend on Nov. 30 after noticing the vehicle's "super dim" headlights, patrol spokesman Rick Johnson told CNN. Closer inspection revealed the unnamed driver had duct-taped flashlights to the front of his vehicle to replace the headlights, which had been damaged in a crash. Flashlights-as-headlights are illegal in Washington because they don't provide enough brightness, Johnson said, adding that the driver also had a suspended license. [CNN, 12/3/2020]

Awesome!

-- The British Museum on Dec. 9 announced that among the historical finds it has registered this year was a cache of 63 gold coins dating from the reign of Henry VIII, dug up by a family weeding their garden in New Forest. The coins, totaling 24 pounds and equivalent to more than $18,000 in today's dollars, were probably buried around 1540, The Guardian reported. The museum has experienced an increase in garden finds this year, as Treasure Registrar Ian Richardson said people are spending more time in their gardens, "resulting in completely unexpected archaeological discoveries." [The Guardian, 12/9/2020]

-- French chef Benoit Bruel in Lyon struck a blow for French cuisine by capturing the Guinness World Record for most varieties of cheese on a pizza with 254 cheeses, United Press International reported on Nov. 30. Guinness posted a video of Bruel making and then enjoying the pizza with friends along with its listing of the achievement, noting also that "Benoit took this as a patriotic challenge, as one of the things France is most famous for is its cheeses." [UPI, 11/30/2020]

-- Ray Liddell, 49, of Hartlepool, England, was shocked when the inflatable toy Grinch he bought for his daughter turned out to be 35 feet tall -- taller than his two-story house, Times Now News reported. The giant turned Liddell into something of a local celebrity as hundreds of people stop by to see the Grinch, so he decided to put the attraction to good use, asking visitors to donate to Alice House Hospice, where his father was cared for before dying of COVID-19. "I reckon we must have had over 5,000 people visit," Liddell said on Dec. 7, and according to reports, he's collected more than $13,000 for the facility. [Times Now News, 12/3/2020]

Least Competent Criminal

Police in Jackson, Mississippi, had little trouble identifying the man who they said passed a threatening note to a teller at a Trustmark Bank on Dec. 3 and got away with an undetermined amount of cash, WAPT reported. Security cameras in the bank clearly captured images of suspect Richard Jiles, 41, wearing a white shirt and camouflage jacket with a blue face mask pulled down below his chin to reveal his entire face. Jiles was later apprehended. [WAPT, 12/5/2020]

Superfan

Houston Astros fan Darren Johnson in Fort Worth, Texas, posted photos of the chicken coop he built on Facebook in November and was "totally shocked" by the overwhelming response, he told KTRK. The coop, which Johnson estimates took about 100 hours to construct, is an exact 1/60th-scale replica of the Houston Astrodome, including details such as an Astros logo and the numbers of all the Astros' retired jerseys, and the chickens who call it home are all named after Astros players. The social media attention "shows my kids that I'm not the only one obsessed with a stadium that's been closed for 20 years," Johnson said. [KTRK, 12/7/2020]

Schemes

-- Residents in upscale neighborhoods of Woodway and Edmonds, Washington, have been visited recently by people carrying official-looking documents who knock on doors, tell homeowners they own the property and "they're there to repossess the home and want the people to vacate the premises," Edmonds police Sgt. Josh McClure told KIRO. The group identifies itself as Moorish Sovereign Citizens, McClure said, who "believe that they own all of the land between Alaska and Argentina." So far, the people have cooperated with police and left after being told they are trespassing. [KIRO, 11/25/2020]

-- The 400 Rabbits tequila bar in Nottingham, England, has applied to the local registrar general to be declared a place of worship, namely the Church of the 400 Rabbits, in an effort to allow customers back inside the establishment, something that is currently prohibited by local COVID restrictions. The Guardian reports that the effort may have been inspired by a similar attempt made by a gym in Krakow, Poland, in October. Men's Health reported that Marta Jamroz, manager of The Atlantic Sports and Fitness Club, went to great lengths to rebrand her gym as the Church of the Healthy Body. the outcome of her efforts is unclear; the tequila bar's application is given little chance to be approved. [The Guardian, 12/2/2020; Men's Health, 10/20/2020]

Coping

Seattle dad and self-described travel enthusiast Steve Simao attracted a following after his daughter, Annisa, called him out on her TikTok account for his purchase of a pair of first-class leather seats taken from a Delta MD90 Jetliner, complete with an air safety card. Simao, who is vice president of sales at Windstar Cruises, found the seats on eBay in November, reported The Washington Post, and has had fun scratching his itch to travel with them ever since, sending his daughter videos of her mother "bringing food to the (tray) table and him just sitting there enjoying it," Annisa said. Delta CEO Ed Bastian has taken notice and given the three Simaos round-trip, first-class tickets to anywhere in the United States. Hawaii is high on their list. [The Washington Post, 12/8/2020]

James Dixon, 29, of Chicago was arrested and charged with first-degree murder after a Thanksgiving get-together ended in the death of Vincell Jackson, 52, the host's boyfriend, police said. In the early hours of Nov. 27, prosecutors said, an argument broke out after Dixon used his bare hands to help himself to holiday meal leftovers, and Jackson "forcefully escorted him to the home's front door," the Chicago Tribune reported. Assistant State's Attorney Susie Bucaro said the altercation moved out to the front porch, where a witness found Jackson stabbed nine times. He was pronounced dead at a hospital, and Dixon was arrested eight hours later, Bucaro said, with a blood-covered knife in his possession. [Chicago Tribune, 11/29/2020]

Names in the News

-- After more than 1,000 years, the Austrian town of F--king is getting a new name, The Local reported. English-speaking tourists have had a field day snapping selfies with city signs, even stealing them, and the 100 residents of modern-day F--king have had enough. According to the minutes of a municipal council meeting published on Nov. 16, the town will change its name to Fugging as of Jan. 1. "I can confirm that the village is being renamed," said Andrea Holzner, mayor of the surrounding municipality. "I really don't want to say anything more." [The Local, 11/28/2020]

-- A newly elected local councilman in Ompundja, Namibia, is assuring constituents that he has no plans for world domination, despite his unfortunate name: Uunona Adolf Hitler. The 54-year-old, who prefers to be called Mr. Uunona, told a German news website that his father named him without an understanding of the Nazi leader, Sky News reported. Namibia is a former German colony, so many streets, places and people have German names. "It was a perfectly normal name for me when I was a kid," Uunona said. [Sky News, 12/3/2020]

Cliches Come to Life

After a heated argument with his wife in late November, a 48-year-old unnamed man from Como, Italy, stepped outside to walk it off and kept on walking until he was stopped a week later by police officers patrolling after curfew in Gimarra, more than 260 miles away, Oddity Central reported. The man said he had walked the entire way, without using any other modes of transportation and relied on the kindness of strangers for food and drink. "I'm fine. I'm just a little tired," he said. His wife, who had reported him missing, picked him up the next day, but had to pay a fine of almost $500 for his violation of the curfew. [Oddity Central, 12/3/2020]

Speaking of ...

-- The recent unexplained appearance of a silver monolith in the deserts of Utah has made headlines all around the world. It also seems to have attracted imitators, including one in Romania's mountainous Neamt region. The 9-foot-tall metal structure mysteriously appeared on Nov. 27 and vanished on Dec. 1, leaving "just a small hole covered by rocky soil," a local reporter told Reuters. "An unidentified person, apparently a bad local welder, made it." Georgiana Mosu, a spokeswoman for the local police, said officers are investigating the incident because the monolith was placed in a protected archaeological area. [Reuters, 12/1/2020]

-- Germany has also experienced a recent monolith mystery, according to the Associated Press. Local media in southern Germany reported the disappearance on Nov. 30 of a wooden phallus sculpture about 7 feet tall that inexplicably appeared on Gruenten Mountain several years ago and had became a destination for hikers and tourists, even appearing on Google Maps as a "cultural monument." But over the weekend, someone chopped it down, leaving only a pile of sawdust. Police in the town of Kempten are investigating. [Associated Press, 11/30/2020]

Turnabout Is Fair Play

An unnamed hunter near the Czech Republic village of Horni Plana contacted police in late November after a deer startled by the man's dogs charged him, snagging his .22-caliber rifle on its antlers before running into the woods, United Press International reported. The gun was unloaded, and police said another hunter saw the stag more than a half-mile away with the rifle still hanging from its antlers. [United Press International, 11/25/2020]

News That Sounds Like a Fairy Tale

Police in Kansas City, Kansas, responded to a call on Nov. 27 from a man who said he returned home around 4 p.m. that day to find a stranger in his house. The unnamed suspect was wearing the victim's clothing, had made a sandwich and cooked and ate ramen noodles, and when police arrived, was fast asleep in the victim's bed, Fox4 reported. The man was arrested and booked into the Wyandotte County Jail, where the beds surely were too hard. [Fox4, 11/29/2020]

Least Competent Criminal

Daniel M. Rizza, 20, of McKeesport, Pennsylvania, driving a gray Audi SUV, ran out of gas on Nov. 27 and called state police to ask for help, but when he was told a trooper would be responding, he abruptly said he'd changed his mind and hung up, according to court documents. WTAJ reported the trooper responding to the call learned en route that a gray Audi had been reported stolen nearby earlier in the day, and after a check of the SUV's make, model, identification number and registration, he arrested Rizza, who was charged with a felony count of receiving stolen property. [WTAJ, 11/30/2020]

Awesome!

An unnamed North Korean man in his late 20s told officials his training as a gymnast enabled him to jump almost 10 feet high over a fence on Nov. 3 to escape into South Korea, National Public Radio reported. After crossing the fence, the man evaded capture for about 14 hours before being detained by South Korean soldiers, whom he told he wanted to defect. Skeptical officials made him jump the same height again twice to help prove his story. Amazingly, he successfully avoided land mines and sensors around the border. [NPR, 11/25/2020]

Tis the Season

-- An animal rescue worker in Adelaide, Australia, thought she was being pranked when Amanda McCormick called on Dec. 2 to report she had discovered a koala in her Christmas tree. The little marsupial didn't come with the tree; it wandered in the house and found a cozy new home among the ornaments, 9News reported. The female koala was safely removed to its more natural habitat. "Koalas are very curious creatures, and if the opportunity presents itself, they will investigate," the rescue team said. [9News, 12/2/2020]

-- Socially distanced visitors to Tokyo's Sunshine Aquarium were delighted to see Santa Claus, complete with a mask and flippers and holding a Christmas wreath, gliding among banana fish and a stingray in a huge tank on Dec. 4, according to Reuters. The swimming Santa, who also used a bazooka-like feeder to shoot treats to the fish, is a 20-year tradition at the aquarium. "I know it's difficult to hold events like these because of the coronavirus situation," said visitor Ayami Kobayashi, 35, "but I'm grateful they still held the event." [Reuters, 12/4/2020]

The Design Museum in London has included a "DIY meal kit" featuring steaks that could be grown from a diner's own human cells among the nominees in its Beazley Designs of the Year exhibit. Developers of the Ouroboros Steak envision that an individual will be able to harvest cells from their own cheek and feed them with serum derived from donated blood that has expired, Dezeen reported. After about three months, the steaks would be fully grown. "People think that eating oneself is cannibalism, which technically this is not," said Grace Knight, one of the designers. Researcher Orkan Telhan added, "Our design is scientifically and economically feasible but also ironic in many ways," he added. [Dezeen, 11/13/2020]

Inexplicable

Officers from Utah's Department of Public Safety were helping the Division of Wildlife Resources count bighorn sheep from a helicopter on Nov. 18 when a shiny object in the desert landscape caught their eye. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, turn around, turn around," one of the biologists shouted, according to pilot Bret Hutchings. KSL reported the crew landed and found a 10- to-12-foot-high silver monolith planted in the ground and tucked into a red-rock cove. After joking about extraterrestrials, the crew decided it looked manmade and took pictures, chalking it up to "some new wave artist ... a big '2001: A Space Odyssey' fan," Hutchings mused. [KSL, 11/21/2020]

Collateral Damage

Police in Corvallis, Oregon, said Dylan Milota was high on marijuana when he crashed the 2019 Tesla S he was driving at more than 100 mph into a utility pole on Nov. 17, breaking the pole and spraying hundreds of small batteries through the windows of two nearby residences. One landed on a bed, starting a fire in the bedsheets, KMTR reported. A tire from the car struck the second story of a nearby apartment building so forcefully it broke water pipes inside the wall, destroying the bathroom on the other side and causing flooding in the lower level, police said. Citizens were warned not to pick up any stray batteries, which can stay hot for up to 24 hours and release toxic fumes. Milota fled on foot but was quickly apprehended and charged with various offenses. [KMTR, 11/19/2020]

News You Can Use

-- College student Benjamin LaRose of Millis, Massachusetts, is recovering from third-degree burns he suffered at an outdoor party with friends this fall when someone used hand sanitizer as an accelerant in the fire pit they were gathered around, Boston25 reported. "It was rather sudden how quick it reacted," LaRose said, "very much like napalm," catching his leg and shorts on fire and requiring skin grafts to treat the burns. LaRose's pediatrician, Dr. Lester Hartman, warned of the dangers of using hand sanitizer and then being exposed to open flames: "Alcohol is very volatile and explosive ... and people that are doing a barbecue or even lighting a cigarette or lighting a candle" need to let the alcohol evaporate first. Or, experts say, use soap and water. [Boston25, 10/5/2020]

-- "Do not let moose lick your car," say the flashing electronic signs along roads in Jasper (Alberta) National Park, where park spokesman Steve Young told CNN: "(Moose are) obsessed with salt. ... They usually get it from salt lakes in the park, but now they realized they can also get road salt that splashes onto cars." Officials say if moose become accustomed to licking cars, they'll lose their fear of vehicles, putting the animals in danger. In Jasper, where drivers often stop to get photos of the moose, officials recommend driving away if the animals start to approach. [CNN, 11/22/2020]

Awesome!

Josua Hutagalung, 33, was working outside his home in Sumatra in August when he got a surprise delivery: A meteorite crashed through his roof and landed outside. "When I lifted it, the stone was still warm, and I brought it into the house," the coffin-maker told local media. United Press International reported the 4.5-pound meteorite was a rare variety, valued by experts at almost $1.9 million, which attracted American expert Jared Collins, who paid more than $1 million for the rock. "I have also always wanted a daughter," Hutagalung said, "and I hope this is a sign that I will be lucky enough now to have one." He also plans to donate some of the funds to his local church's new building project. [United Press International, 11/18/2020]

Compelling Explanations

French police in Lannion, Brittany, became suspicious when they spotted a man lurking near a parked car at a time when France's COVID-19 lockdown rules required him to be at home on Nov. 20. Upon questioning, the 39-year-old unnamed man produced the legally required "attestation," including his full name, the time he left home and his written-in reason for being out: to "smash a guy's face in." Local police chief Daniel Kerdraon said, "He was trying to fulfill the letter of the law, in his own way," The Guardian reported, "but we told him his reason for going out was not valid." He was fined not only for violating the curfew but also for being drunk in public. [The Guardian, 11/23/2020]

Bright Idea

Matthew Piercey, 44, has been indicted on 31 federal felony counts related to a suspected Ponzi scheme, but when FBI agents tried to arrest him in Redding, California, on Nov. 16, he took off, authorities said. NBC News reported agents followed him to Lake Shasta, where Piercey pulled a $1,200 Yamaha 350LI Seascooter out of his vehicle, then disappeared into the frigid water, spending about 25 minutes "out of sight underwater where law enforcement could only see bubbles," Assistant U.S. Attorney Christopher Hales wrote in court papers. The agents waited him out and arrested him when he resurfaced. Piercey faces up to 20 year in prison if convicted. [NBC News, 11/17/2020]

The Way the World Works

Evidence of election rigging in New Zealand's Bird of the Year competition has set organizers all atwitter, NPR reported. Officials at Forest & Bird, a conservation organization, noticed that more than 1,500 votes in the annual event had come from one email address on Nov. 9, all in favor of the spotted kiwi. "That is an amazing bird," spokeswoman Laura Keown said, "but ... these votes had to be disallowed, and they've been taken out of the competition." The disqualification cleared the way for the competition's eventual winner: the kakapo, or moss chicken, a rare nocturnal bird and the world's only flightless parrot. [NPR, 11/14/2020]

Signs of the Times

-- Alexios Gerakis, 37, a candlemaker in Thessaloniki, Greece, has updated his Santa Claus candles for 2020 with blue surgical masks covering the big elf's beard. "Because of the times, we are trying to convey a message that health comes first, then everything else," Gerakis told Reuters Television. His snowmen candles also sport masks. [Reuters, 11/18/2020]

-- And in Lajosmizse, Hungary, confectioner Laszlo Rimoczi can't keep up with the orders after he added tiny marzipan surgical masks to his chocolate Santas. He has simplified the design, Reuters reported, and has increased production to about 100 Santas a day in his rural workshop. Father Christmas "will have to wear a mask because Santa has to show a good example to people," Rimoczi said. [Reuters, 11/21/2020]