A rider on the New York City subway employed a novel way of protecting his personal space on Feb. 7, Fox News reported. The seated passenger removed a bottle of ketchup from his bag and squirted a squiggly perimeter on the floor around his seat, apparently hoping to keep fellow straphangers away. Twitter erupted with funny comments after one user posted a photo: "Gotta protect yourself from the mustard demons they can't cross the barrier" and "What brand of ketchup though?" New York City Transit got a taste of the problem and promised to clean it up right away. [Fox News, 2/8/2020]

The Litigious Society

Lacie the Norwegian Forest cat is at the center of a heated two-year dispute in Brewerton, New York, that has now gone to state Supreme Court. Original owner Carol Money accuses adoptive owner Danette Romano of refusing to let Lacie sleep in bed with her, a key provision that Money says was in the adoption agreement both parties signed in April 2018. Syracuse.com reported that according to the lawsuit, Money regularly visited Lacie in her new home after the adoption and found the cat to be skittish and fearful, and became very upset after Romano's husband allegedly admitted, "We don't let Lacie sleep with us." By Dec. 20, tensions had increased to the point that Romano complained to the Onondaga County Sheriff's office and had her lawyer send Money a letter ordering her to stop contacting Romano. Money's lawsuit accuses Romano of breach of contract and lying about her intention to let Lacie sleep in her bed, and demands the return of the cat. [Syracuse.com, 12/30/2019]

Unclear on the Concept

In a report published on Feb. 18, the South Florida Sun Sentinel reveals school districts struggling to comply with the state's requirement that every school have "a good guy with a gun" are challenged to find enough qualified applicants. Among recent hiccups: Near Orlando, a safe-school officer sent her husband a nude video she recorded in a school bathroom while on her lunch break. In Hillsborough County, a school guardian thought her gun was unloaded when she shot through a mirror as she practiced in front of it for her firearms certification. Another officer pawned his service weapon and ballistic vest; his supervisor discovered he was carrying a pellet gun in his holster. Bob Gualtieri, sheriff in Pinellas County, remarked: "The reality is there is no perfect in the world." [South Florida Sun Sentinel, 2/18/2020]

The Entrepreneurial Spirit

The Spanish Civil Guard raided an underground cigarette factory on Feb. 13 and 14 in the southern province of Malaga and found a facility with a complete production line capable of producing 3,500 cigarettes an hour as well as beds and living quarters for the workers, the Associated Press reported. Access to the plant, located 13 feet under a horse stable, was disguised by a cargo container. Twenty people, from the U.K., Ukraine and Lithuania, were arrested, said police, and more than 3 million cigarettes, some hashish and marijuana, as well as weapons, were seized. [Associated Press, 2/20/2020]

Clever

Vincent Putrino, captain of the cross-country/track and field team at Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute in Troy, New York, and his teammates, craved Chick-fil-A for lunch on Feb. 22, but the only location closer than an hour and a half away was at the Albany International Airport -- beyond the security checkpoint. So, reported News10, the 18 teammates pooled their money (about $5.50 each), bought a one-way ticket to Fort Lauderdale, Florida ($98, the cheapest they could find), and sent Putrino in to collect the bounty. Putrino purchased $227 worth of food, then left the airport and joined his teammates for their midday meal. [News10, 2/23/2020]

Old Story, New Twist

An Oklahoma City homeowner hearing noises in his attic suspected squirrels might have gotten in, but when he went to inspect, he found instead ... a man, lying on a mattress. KOCO News reported on Feb. 28 the unnamed homeowner called 911 and reported a “stranger in my house. ... I have a gun on him right now.” Police responding to the call told reporters "there was actually somebody that appeared to have taken up residence in (the) attic," and the home has a staircase “that goes up the side of the house with attic access.” The homeowner escorted the squatter at gunpoint to the driveway, where officers were waiting. [KOCO, 2/18/2020]

Oops!

Dylan Bryant found more adventure than he expected on Feb. 23 as he explored a bayou in southwest Houston. Bryant told KTRK his exploration took him about 100 yards down a sewer line before he became trapped. "I can't go back because of how I had to scooch through," Bryant said. "I'm in the middle of raw, open sewage in this little bitty box." From under the street, Bryant yelled for help and a man heard him, then asked a passerby to call 911. Firefighters arrived and pulled Bryant out of his smelly predicament. [KTRK, 2/24/2020]

It's a Mystery

The Smith family of Lockport, Illinois, has a perplexing extra feature in their house that has occasionally kept the family up at night for about six years: "There are voices in the wall, and I don't know what it is," 9-year-old Brianna Smith told WLS. Music and talk radio emanate from the walls in Brianna's room in the middle of the night, but the family can't figure out why. There are no speakers in the walls, Brianna's father, Richard, said, and attempts by police to uncover the source were unsuccessful. The Federal Communications Commission couldn't help either. Richard Smith believes something in the wall is receiving a signal from one of the six radio towers near the home, but an engineer sent to the home from one of the stations told him: "I got to be honest with you, I don't know what is acting as a speaker." The Smiths have been advised to hire an engineer to pinpoint the signal and block it, but in the meantime, Brianna falls asleep in her parents' room. [WLS, 2/21/2020]

Anger Management

Ypsilanti, Michigan, police were called to an apartment complex on Jan. 16, where they found a 23-year-old man smoking a cigarette and pressing a bloody towel to his side, MLive reported. The man told officers his partner, 28-year-old Neil Patrick Wasinski, known as Nalla and referred to as "she" in court records, attacked him with a 21-inch samurai sword because he didn't buy her any marijuana. The attack resulted in multiple stab wounds to the man's arm and torso, and one of his lungs collapsed, according to police. Tracked down at her apartment, Wasinski told police to "please go away" and later claimed to have no memory of the incident. Police found a blood-stained 21-inch katana on Wasinski's bedroom floor, according to their report, and she was charged with assault and resisting arrest. [MLive, 2/25/2020]

The Selectboard of Croydon, New Hampshire, ruled unexpectedly on Feb. 18 that it would abolish the town police department and rely instead on the New Hampshire State Police for law enforcement, reported the Valley News. Croydon Police Chief Richard Lee, the sole member of the police department for almost 20 years, told the News he was asked to turn in his equipment, including his uniform, badges and the keys to his police cruiser, so at the meeting's conclusion, Lee faced the board president and "gave them my uniform shirt. I gave them my turtleneck, I gave them my ballistic vest. ... I sat down in the chair, took off my boots, took off my pants, put those in the chair, and put my boots back on, and walked out the door." Lee walked about a mile in 26-degree temperatures before his wife picked him up. The Selectboard released a statement saying the decision was "an action based upon value for the cost of the department." Resident Rick Sampson told reporters, "What kind of a town lets their chief of police walk out in a snowstorm in his underwear?" [Valley News, 2/19/2020]

Oops

An unnamed 33-year-old woman from Herminie, Pennsylvania, took an unconventional route home after a night out drinking on Feb. 16, according to City of Duquesne police. Driving a Mazda CX-5, the woman left a tavern and ended up in a rail yard near the Port Perry Railroad Bridge, a narrow span that carries one set of tracks over the Monongahela River. "The vehicle did quite well, considering it is not a locomotive," noted police, and the driver traveled a significant distance along the bridge before getting stuck. WPIX reported she called 911 for help at about 2:40 a.m., and Norfolk Southern stopped all rail traffic while the car was removed from the tracks. Police arrested the driver for DUI. [WPIX, 2/16/2020]

The Passing Parade

Three friends were wrapping up a night of dinner and drinking on Feb. 15 in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, when things got "a little out of control," according to a police report. As the night wore on, Kasey Margaret Westraad, 24, became increasingly amorous toward a resistant female friend, the friend told police, eventually escalating to the point that a naked Westraad pursued the woman outside, punching her several times in the face. Myrtlebeachonline.com reported Westraad was charged with third-degree assault and battery, damage to property and resisting arrest. [myrtlebeachonline.com, 2/16/2020]

The Smell Test

Police in Speyer, Germany, gave chase after they were passed by a car driving at high speed with its lights off on Feb. 14. The suspect, a 26-year-old man, pulled over and ran from the car, leaving a trail of scent that was so distinct officers said they were able to follow it from the car to the man, who was hiding behind a hedge. "Due to the cloud of perfume that was detected inside the car and on the man," police said, "it was possible to identify him as the driver," the Associated Press reported. His breath didn't smell so good, though: He was far over the alcohol limit. [Associated Press, 2/15/2020]

Wait, What?

The woman who attempted to board an airplane with her emotional support peacock made headlines, but in Port St. Lucie, Florida, one man is questioning why his particular support item has been banned from the dialysis center where he takes treatments three times a week. Nelson Gibson first brought an 8-by-10-inch photo of President Donald J. Trump to comfort him as he endured the 3 1/2-hour treatments, then exchanged that for a small cardboard cutout of himself standing next to a Trump photo. When he next arrived with a life-size cutout of the president, no one complained, Gibson told WPBF, but on Feb. 11, "they told me it was too much and it wasn't a rally." "It just feels like bringing something from home to make you comfortable," Gibson said, noting that others bring items, including one woman who pops bubble wrap during the entire treatment. "That's very nerve-wracking," he said. It's unclear whether Gibson will return to the center for treatments. [WPBF, 2/12/2020]

Extreme Measures

Tensions are running high in China, where the coronavirus has affected thousands of people and sparked instances of panic-buying. AFP reports that supermarkets have experienced runs on staples such as rice and pasta, but in Hong Kong, a gang of men wielding knives attacked a delivery driver in Mong Kok on Feb. 17, making off with hundreds of rolls of toilet paper worth about $130. Police said the missing rolls were recovered, and two suspects were arrested. Locals seemed baffled, with one woman telling a TV station, "I'd steal face masks, but not toilet roll." [AFP via Yahoo News, 2/17/2020]

Government at Work

Ontario's new license plates hit the roads on Feb. 1, sporting a pleasing color of blue with white numbers and letters. During the day. At night, all that's visible is a shiny blue rectangle, according to complaints on Twitter -- the numbers and letters disappear, which makes them a problem for law enforcement. "Did anyone consult with police before designing and manufacturing the new Ontario license plates?" wrote Kingston Police Sgt. Steve Koopman. "They're virtually unreadable at night." The CBC reported a government spokesperson saying authorities "are currently looking into this," but Lisa Thompson, Ontario's minister of government and consumer services, saw a political angle: "Sticking with the status quo Liberal plate that was peeling and flaking was not an option," she said. "We absolutely have confidence in our plates." [CBC, 2/18/2020]

Must-See TV

Police in Cedar Rapids, Iowa, arrested Robert Lee Noye, 52, on Feb. 17 and charged him with first-degree harassment and false imprisonment after his victim told them Noye kidnapped her and forced her to watch the 1977 historical miniseries "Roots" "so she could better understand her racism," The Gazette reported. He allegedly told her if she did not sit for the entire nine-hour series about slavery, he would "kill her and spread her body parts across Interstate 380 on the way to Chicago." [The Gazette, 2/17/2020]

Annals of Entitlement

Seloni Khetarpal, 36, threw a tantrum worthy of the terrible twos on Feb. 13 when she "repeatedly" called 911 to report that her parents had shut off her cellphone, according to court documents. Khetarpal demanded that officers respond to her home in Jackson Township, Ohio, and was warned that she should only call 911 for a legitimate emergency. Several hours later, News5 Cleveland reported, she called back, became "belligerent" and told the dispatcher she thought it was a legitimate issue. She was arrested and charged with disrupting public services. [News5 Cleveland, 2/17/2020]

Awesome!

Hell, Michigan, is inviting 29 couples to "take the leap" and tie the knot in their fair city on Feb. 29, 2020 (Leap Day), all at no cost, MLive reported. Outside the tiny chapel there, at 2:29 p.m., Reverend Vonn will join the couples in a mass ceremony. "Imagine having only to remember your wedding anniversary every four years," said the reverend. "There are some couples that are paying officiant and chapel fees to be married in the chapel at different time slots. It is going to be one Helluva Day." [MLive, 2/19/2020]

A well-meaning neighbor's attempt to save his friend from a dog attack went south on Feb. 5 in Adams, Massachusetts. Berkshire District Attorney Andrea Harrington told the Associated Press the neighbor heard yelling shortly after noon and discovered his friend being attacked by his own dog and his girlfriend's dog. The good Samaritan returned to his apartment, got the crossbow he used for hunting and fired it up a stairwell at one of the dogs. But the bolt glanced off the dog and went through the door into the apartment where it struck and killed the victim. Harrington said the dogs had a history of aggression and were usually kept in separate kennels. She described the man as "very distraught" and did not expect criminal charges to be filed. Officers responding to the scene shot both dogs. [Associated Press, 2/6/2020]

Prespective

Juan Zamora, 63, of Kissimmee, Florida, needed directions on Feb. 8 and flashed his headlights at a Marion County Sheriff's squad car to ask for help, the Ocala Star-Banner reported. Deputy Calvin Batts obliged, but during the conversation, he noticed Zamora smelled like alcohol and was unsteady on his feet, according to the arrest report. Zamora then resisted Batts' request to take a breath test, saying, "You didn't pull me over. I pulled you over," and told the officer he is "legally disabled," which would account for his instability. However, it wouldn't explain the bag of white powder found in Zamora's shirt pocket, which field-tested positive for cocaine, according to the report. Batts also reported finding a two-thirds-full bottle of Canadian whiskey and a 15-year-old passenger in the vehicle. Zamora was arrested and charged with DUI and possession of cocaine. [Ocala Star-Banner, 2/10/2020]

Police Report

Shareeka Strawn, 28, must have panicked when the car she was riding in was pulled over by police in Wichita Falls, Texas, on Jan. 15 for a minor traffic violation. According to the probable cause affidavit, Strawn, who had several outstanding warrants, identified herself as Porshala Strawn, but was apparently unaware that a records check revealed Porshala also had an outstanding warrant. The Times Record News reported Shareeka was arrested and is facing a number of charges, including allegedly giving a false name. [Times Record News, 2/4/2020]

What's in a Name?

A former employee of a finance firm is behind bars in Macon County, Tennessee, after allegedly stealing $51,000 in customer loan payments, WATE reported. Serena Swindle, 41, was arrested on Feb. 5 after a yearlong investigation by the Tennessee Bureau of Investigation. She was held on $3,500 bond at the Macon County Jail. [WATE, 2/5/2020]

Bright Idea

Ryan Sentelle State, 37, has been arrested in Salt Lake City after police said he admitted using mice and hamsters to get free hotel rooms. KUTV reported on Jan. 30 that authorities allege State would release the rodents in a hotel room, then complain about them, prompting hotel workers to offer the room for free. State faces charges of theft by deception and criminal mischief. [KUTV, 1/30/2020]

Chutzpah!

On Dec. 19, five prisoners in Belgium's Turnhout Prison escaped by climbing over a wall and jumping into a getaway car waiting nearby, Newsweek reported. Four of the men were captured within a few weeks, but officials failed to track down Oualid Sekkaki, 26, who was serving time for drug possession. Sekkaki added insult to injury when a letter arrived at the prison on Jan. 20. Inside was Sekkaki's prison badge and a card saying "Greetings from Thailand." Sekkaki, who hails from an infamous Moroccan prison-escaping family, is still at large. [Newsweek, 1/22/2020]

Awesome!

Residents of an apartment building in Kerala, India, were surprised on Feb. 3 when a pungent mixture of beer, brandy and rum began flowing from their faucets instead of water. Officials told the BBC that about 6,000 liters of alcohol confiscated on court orders had been buried in a pit nearby, but it seeped through the soil into the well used as a water source for the building. "The children couldn't go to school, and even their parents couldn't go to work," Joshy Malyiekkal, the building owner, said. [BBC, 2/6/2020]

Sweet Revenge

Housepainter Dean Reeves of Bolsover, England, came to a slow realization that his client, Terry Taylor, was never going to pay him the rest of what he says he is owed for painting Taylor's building. So in January, Reeves took his complaint public and painted a graffiti message on the building's exterior: "Want your house painting? Don’t be like Terry. Pay the bill! Now you will!" According to Oddity Central, Reeves said Taylor "changed the job, kept asking me to do extra work. ... He kept saying, 'I'll pay you tomorrow,' but tomorrow never came." For his part, Taylor denies Reeves' accusations and is threatening to press criminal charges. [Oddity Central, 2/7/2020]

Government in Action

-- The Washington, D.C., Metro has spent five years and $3.8 million building two still-unfinished bike racks at two of its stations, WJLA reported on Feb. 12. The original budget for the two covered racks, which each will house 92 bikes, was $600,000 apiece. "Quality control issues with contractors can take time to sort out," the Metro said in a statement, "but Metro determined it was important to get the project done right rather than get it done quickly." It hopes the projects, first set to be completed in December of 2015, will be finished in the next few months. [WJLA, 2/12/2020]

-- Giovanni Palmiero, 101, has been living in the United Kingdom since 1966, so logically, he applied to remain there after Brexit. Alarmingly, the Home Office demanded that Palmiero's parents confirm his identity and accompany him to an office in north London to make his application. Dimitri Scarlato, a volunteer helping Palmiero, immediately realized the computer had read his birth year as 2019 instead of 1919. "I phoned the Home Office and it took two calls and a half an hour for them to understand," Scarlato told The Guardian. Palmiero has been married to his 92-year-old wife, Lucia, for 75 years. They will be able to remain in the U.K. [The Guardian, 2/12/2020]

Clever

An unnamed 47-year-old Italian woman convicted of fraud in 2017 in Sicily has been on the run since then, The Guardian reported, eluding authorities by hiding in convents. The woman moved to the northern regions of Italy and phoned convents pretending to be a sister "looking for help and claiming she was severely ill," investigators said. As she moved from convent to convent, she changed her identity, duping nuns who trusted her and thought her to be kind. Finally, a Benedictine nun grew suspicious and phoned police, telling them her stories were "full of contradictions." Authorities verified her identity and arrested her. She now faces further charges of claiming false identity. [The Guardian, 2/13/2020]