WJAR reported that an unnamed substitute teacher was fired on Dec. 16 for smoking marijuana in a classroom at North Attleborough High School in North Attleborough, Massachusetts. Peter Haviland, principal at the school, said students reported the incident and the teacher was removed from the school premises. Haviland also said the teacher not only used the drug, but led a discussion in class about marijuana. Campuses in the district are drug-free. Well, they were. [WJAR, 12/17/2019]

Update

Last year during the holiday season, former NASA engineer Mark Rober of Santa Clarita, California, created a glitter bomb exploding package in response to having a package stolen from his front porch. This year, Rober has a new and improved version: When it is touched, the BBC reported on Dec. 17, the box explodes in glitter and emits an unpleasant odor along with a soundtrack of police chatter. As a coup de grace, it also takes a video of the thief and uploads it to the cloud. One of the sponsors for Rober's project is "Home Alone" actor Macaulay Culkin. Rober calls it a labor of love: "I have literally spent the last 10 months designing, building and testing a new and improved design for 2019," he said. [BBC, 12/17/2019]

Family Values

It may not be the oldest fruitcake still (mostly) uneaten, but it could be the most beloved. The Detroit News reported that the Ford family of Tecumseh, Michigan, has been cherishing Fidelia Ford's fruitcake since 1878 -- over five generations. Julie Ruttinger, great-great-granddaughter to Fidelia, inherited the confection from her father, Morgan Ford, who kept it in an antique glass compote dish in his china cabinet until his death in 2013. It doesn't much look, or smell, like a fruitcake anymore ("Smells like old people," Morgan once said), but Ruttinger is determined to keep Fidelia's legacy alive. Each year, Fidelia made a cake that was meant to age until the next Christmas season. But in 1878, she died before her cake could be enjoyed. When Morgan was buried, the family tucked a piece of the cake into his jacket pocket. "He took care of it to the day he left the Earth," Ruttinger said. "We knew it meant a lot to him." [Detroit News, 12/13/2019]

Irony

Two workers with the Chicago Park District were spreading salt on an icy lakefront bike path on Dec. 11 when their pickup truck hit a slick spot and slipped into Lake Michigan, the Associated Press reported. It was halfway into the water before it got stuck on a breakwall. The workers were able to escape the truck and move to the shore uninjured. Park District spokesperson Michelle Lemons reminded Chicago residents that the path slopes toward the water and lake levels are high. "It might not look like it's dangerous, but it could still be a sheet of glass," she said. [Associated Press, 12/11/2019]

No Good Deed

Virginia Saavedra, 37, ran to a home in Sophia, North Carolina, on Dec. 11, telling the resident she had just escaped being kidnapped by a stranger. When the man let her sit in his truck to warm up while he called 911, Saavedra allegedly stole the truck, according to the Randolph County Sheriff's Office. Officers responding to the 911 call spotted the truck and engaged in a 26-mile high-speed chase before trapping the truck. The Associated Press reported Saavedra then rammed a patrol car before trying to flee on foot. She was eventually charged with more than a dozen crimes, including felony assault with a deadly weapon on a government official. [Associated Press, 12/13/2019]

Bright Idea

Around 7:30 a.m. on Dec. 18, an unnamed 17-year-old girl jumped a fence at Fresno Yosemite International Airport in Fresno, California, and climbed into the cockpit of a private airplane parked there. She put the pilot's headset on and was able to start one of the engines of the small plane, but instead of flying away, she steered the plane into a chain-link fence, causing substantial damage to the aircraft, the Fresno Bee reported. Airport officials said she appeared disoriented when officers reached the plane, but no others were endangered in the incident. She was booked into juvenile hall on charges of theft of an aircraft. [Fresno Bee, 12/18/2019]

Government in Action

A sharp-eyed Twitter user spotted an unexpected country on the U.S. Department of Agriculture's Agricultural Tariff Tracker list: Wakanda. The fictional country from the "Black Panther" film made the list of free trade agreement partners. USDA spokesperson Mike Illenberg told NBC News on Dec. 18 the agency had used Wakanda to test the tracking system and had forgotten to remove it from the list. "The Wakanda information should have been removed after testing and has now been taken down." [NBC News, 12/18/2019]

Compelling Explanation

Police in Tooele, Utah, conducting a welfare check on 75-year-old Jeanne Souron-Mathers on Nov. 22, found the woman dead of natural causes in her apartment, but as they searched further, they came upon the body of her husband, Paul Edward Mathers, in a freezer chest. With his body was a notarized letter, signed by Mathers and dated Dec. 2, 2008, stating that his wife didn't kill him. "We believe he had a terminal illness," police Sgt. Jeremy Hansen told Fox13. Paul was last seen alive on Feb. 4, 2009, at a doctor's appointment at the Veterans Affairs hospital. Investigators are probing whether the couple made the plan so that Jeanne would continue to receive her husband's government benefits. A neighbor, Evan Kline, said: "The story ... was her husband walked out on her. ... It was probably the plan for her to keep the money because it was her only source of income." Officials believe she received at least $177,000 in benefits over 10 years. [Fox13, 12/16/2019]

Oops

A driver in Halifax, West Yorkshire, England, caused an "enormous bang," according to witnesses, on Dec. 14 when he lighted a cigarette in his closed car after spraying air freshener. Nearby buildings shook from the impact, and the car's windshield was blown out, along with windows of nearby businesses, the Manchester Evening News reported. The driver sustained only minor injuries. West Yorkshire Police said the situation could have been worse and implored people to open their windows when using aerosol cans and open flames.

Holiday Shenanigans

-- A group of Santas participating in SantaCon -- a bar-hopping tradition in New York City -- brought muscle along with Christmas cheer to a Long Island Railroad train on Dec. 14. According to the New York Daily News, two men were fighting on the train around 6 p.m. when one of them, a 45-year-old, stabbed the other, 22, in the leg. Neither of the men was dressed as Santa, but the Santas on the train subdued the suspect until the train reached Queens. The victim was taken to a hospital, and the MTA arrested the stabber. [NY Daily News, 12/14/2019]

-- Security officers at Vilnius Airport in Lithuania got in the holiday spirit with confiscated items seized during the screening process, reported United Press International on Dec. 12. Apparently having a lot of time on their hands, the officers built a Christmas tree using items such as scissors, knives, lighters and other goods. Lithuanian Airports called the tree an "educational masterpiece" and warned: "If you don't want your personal, yet prohibited, belongings to land on our next year's Christmas tree -- better check out the baggage requirements before you pack for your next flight." [UPI, 12/12/2019]

Joe Rwamirama, 48, of Kampala, Uganda, has an unusually practical superpower: "He is known all over the city as the man who can kill mosquitoes with his farts," local barber James Yoweri told The Sun on Dec. 10. Rwamirama said no one in his home village has ever contracted malaria because his gaseous ejections knock out insects over a 6-mile radius. "He is respectful of people around him and will only fart when there are mosquitoes around," Yoweri continued. Rwamirama hopes to market his gas and claims that insect repellant companies have been looking into its chemical secrets, but The Sun couldn't verify those claims. [The Sun, 12/10/2019]

Undignified Death

When a Shelby, Ohio, police officer responded to a call on Nov. 13 about a sick or rabid raccoon on a residential street, he had a tough decision to make. The raccoon did seem either injured or ill, and according to WJW, the officer decided it needed to be destroyed. However, there is no area animal control department, and police officers don't have the "training or equipment to capture a potentially rabid animal," officials said. And the officer was hesitant to use his firearm because of the time of day and because some residents were outside their homes. So he decided to use his vehicle to eliminate the raccoon, running over it several times to finish the job. Unfortunately, a bystander was recording the incident, and people on social media are calling for the officer's removal. The Shelby police chief responded: "The video is disturbing to watch. ... We are having an independent group, with a prosecutor, to determine if any criminal charges are appropriate (but) ... this incident doesn't violate any wildlife laws." [WJW, 11/15/2019]

Just Weird

-- It's very cold and very dark, in an existential sort of way, in Minneapolis at this time of year. To wit: Cianna Violet, 24, passes by a certain spot, near a Broadway Pizza location, as she commutes to work. In November, she noticed a yellow traffic pylon with an extra something clinging to the top and pulled over to check it out. It was a rat -- dead, frozen, sad. Until Dec. 3, when Violet noticed something about the rat had changed. Sure enough, someone had dressed the chilly little rodent and even remembered accessories, like a tiny silver backpack and fur-trimmed boots. The outfit is "100 percent seasonably appropriate," Violet told CityPages. "I'm sorry it had to die, but in death it has brought a reason to smile to hundreds." [CityPages, 12/4/2019]

-- Meanwhile, it's warm and sunny in Las Vegas, and the pigeons are wearing cowboy hats. What? On Dec. 9, KVVU reported that pigeons have been spotted with tiny red cowboy hats on their heads. Mariah Hillman, who runs an animal rescue, at first thought the little headwear was cute, but then began to worry about how the hats had been affixed to the birds' heads. "Did they glue them? ... Is it something that's going to impede their flight or attract predators?" she wondered. Hillman and her agency have been handing out business cards and asking people who see the little urban cowbirds to "just feed them until I get here. I'm only 3 miles away and I'll come trap them." [KVVU, 12/9/2019]

Bright Idea

The Raleigh (North Carolina) News & Observer reported on Dec. 9 that a 14-year-old runaway made a logical choice when deciding where to hide. Around 8:30 that morning, as workers at Bed Bath & Beyond opened the store in Greenville, they discovered someone hidden in the store and called police. Officers responded for a "breaking and entering in progress," but found only a teenage boy who had "camped out" in the store overnight. He was returned to his home. [Raleigh News & Observer, 12/9/2019]

Great Art!

In Miami Beach, Florida, you don't even have to leave the oceanfront to get caught in a traffic nightmare. For Miami's Art Basel, Argentinian artist Leandro Erlich unveiled on Dec. 3 a masterpiece three months in the making: sand sculptures of 66 actual-size cars and trucks locked in a traffic jam, which he calls "Order of Importance." His artwork is meant to bring attention to the climate crisis, Dezeen reported. The work includes several lanes of traffic split by a traffic divider. Most of the vehicles are partially submerged in a nod to rising sea levels created by global warming. "As an artist, I am in a constant struggle to make people aware of this reality," Erlich said. It is his largest project to date. [DeZeen, 12/4/2019]

Bah, Humbug!

-- Marie Bennett, 40, and Joseph Betancourt, 24, of Woodland, California, would have made the Grinch proud, but police in Red Bluff weren't having it. On Dec. 5, the two allegedly broke into the Children First Foster Family Agency, where they stole "(a) large amount of toys that were being held there for children for Christmas presents," police told Fox News. Surveillance video showed the burglars coming and going from the home next door; officers arrested Bennett and Betancourt for burglary, theft and breaking and entering, and they recovered the stolen toys, declaring, "These 'Grinches' will not be stealing Christmas from kids on our watch." [Fox News, 12/9/2019]

-- The Bosch's Country View Nursery in Allendale, Michigan, is a longtime favorite destination for Christmas tree shoppers. But sometime in early December, the Grinch visited, lopping the top halves off more than a dozen trees, according to WZZM13. It takes a fir tree between six and 10 years to grow to Christmas tree height, explained owner Brian Bosch. "Somebody had a bad day, I'm assuming," he said. "I don't know why somebody would do that." Bosch did say that the trees might recover, although it would take a few years. [WZZM, 12/10/2019]

Police Report

-- In Turlock, California, mothers became alarmed when a man turned up at their doors, asking for "five strands" of hair and fingerprints from their children in order to collect their DNA. "He said he was with Amber Alert," Lauren Hassett told KTXL on Dec. 4, and "that he needed to finish a DNA file" on her daughter. She also said the man asked for her daughter using a name the 13-year-old girl only uses online. Hassett ordered the man off her property and called police, who were later able to catch up with him. Officers said the man's business was legitimate, but "the manner in which the information was relayed led to some misunderstanding. ... The involved adult male was passing out child DNA kits, which would be retained by the family, in the event it was ever needed for future investigations." [KTXL, 12/9/2019]

-- Operation Santa's Naughty List took place Dec. 3 to 8 in Polk County, Florida, seeking to target human trafficking and prostitution, and it was beyond successful. The sting stung 124 people, including 46 customers and numerous others for different crimes, but the standout was Rodney Davis, a 56-year-old husband and security guard at Disney World, the Tampa Bay Times reported. When Davis showed up to purchase sex from an undercover detective, he was wearing ... nothing. Not even socks. Prostitutes who were identified as victims of human trafficking were taken to shelters and offered support services. [Tampa Bay Times, 12/11/2019]

Kentarias Gowans, 20, of Flowery Branch, Georgia, came up with a novel way of celebrating Thanksgiving. He was scheduled to work at the Steak 'n' Shake in Oakwood that day, but called in "intoxicated" and said he wouldn't be in. But around 10 p.m. that evening, Gowans arrived at the restaurant with a handgun, which he held to another employee's head while demanding money, the Gainesville Times reported. Multiple employees and customers called 911, and police arrived to see Gowans exiting the restaurant with his gun. He briefly raised the weapon, officers reported, but then dropped it, and he was taken into custody after a brief struggle. [Gainesville Times, 11/30/2019]

Not Santa

As Stephanie Leguia of Milton, Massachusetts, and her neighbor, Wenhan Huang, chatted in Huang's yard on Dec. 1, an unusual object slammed to the ground just feet from where they stood. Their backs were turned when what looked like a "giant silver tarp" crashed down, reported the Boston Herald. On its way, it lopped off four tree branches: "If it had hit us, we would have been dead," Leguia said. Turns out the object was an uninflated silver evacuation slide from a Delta flight arriving in Boston from Paris. The Federal Aviation Administration confirmed that the pilot had heard a loud noise as the Boeing airliner approached Logan International Airport, but the flight landed without incident. Delta and the FAA are investigating. [Boston Herald, 12/2/2019]

Least Competent Criminals

Callie Elizabeth Carswell of Morganton, North Carolina, and her fiance, Clarence Moore III, allegedly staged an elaborate crime, all in the name of love, just before Thanksgiving. Around 10 p.m. on Nov. 25, while Carswell worked at the Big Daddy convenience store, Moore entered the store carrying an ornamental sword and wearing a hat and bandanna to disguise his identity. He "demanded" money from Carswell, leaving with $2,960, the Morganton Department of Public Safety told The News Herald. When the "robber" left the store, she called 911. Police went on to work the case overnight, while Carswell and Moore made an early morning stop at Walmart to buy a ring and get engaged on the spot, documenting the big event on Facebook. But details of Carswell's story didn't add up, and investigators found evidence in her car and at their home that led them to arrest the couple. Moore confessed to the crime, but Carswell shouted at reporters as she entered the courthouse: "I will assault you! I didn't do it. ... Watch the (expletive) video and you'll see that I was (expletive) terrified. I wasn't involved." The couple were charged with armed robbery, misuse of 911 and filing a false police report. [News-Herald, 11/29/2019]

Fine Points of the Law

After a decade of wrangling through the court system, Bela Kosoian has been awarded $20,000 (Canadian) by the Supreme Court of Canada. It all started in the Laval, Quebec, Montmorency Metro station in 2009, when Kosoian was riding an escalator while looking through her purse and, pointedly, not holding the handrail. According to CBC News, a police officer told her to respect a sign asking riders to hold the rail, but Kosoian declined and then would not identify herself to the officer, who slapped her with two tickets: one for disobeying the sign and another for obstructing the work of an inspector. Kosoian sued, and the highest court agreed with her, saying: "A reasonable police officer should have known that people didn't have to hold the handrails." They called the sign a "warning" and not a law. "I knew that I didn't do anything wrong," Kosoian said. "It was the principle of it." [CBC, 11/29/2019]

Questionable Judgment

In The Hague, Netherlands, management at supermarket chain Albert Heijn is walking back a request that employees send in a photo of themselves in their underwear, in order to work out sizes for new uniforms. Workers were asked to use an "innovative mobile app" to submit the photos, AFP reported, but the company backed down after the complaints started rolling in. "The manager told us that if we don't do it, we can't be in the store anymore because we don't have the right corporate clothing," said one 17-year-old employee who works at the Nijmegen branch. But Albert Heijn said participating was voluntary and "although ... pictures were not visible to management, this should never have happened. We apologize to all involved." [AFP, 11/26/2019]

Irony

Ronald Cyr, 65, of Van Buren, Maine, became the victim of his own trap on Nov. 28 when he was shot by a handgun that he had rigged to fire whenever someone opened the front door. Cyr was able to call 911 and say that he had been shot, WAGM reported, but he later died. When officers of the Van Buren Police Department arrived, they found that along with the home's front-door booby trap, other devices were set up, prompting them to call the Maine State Police bomb squad. Homemade security devices that use weapons are illegal in the United States. [WAGM, 11/29/2019]

The Continuing Crisis

Veronica Alvarez-Rodriguez stopped at a Valparaiso, Florida, Goodwill store on Dec. 1 to pick up a gift for a baby shower she and her husband were attending. She was excited to find a Baby Einstein bouncer seat for just $9.99 -- unopened and appearing to be new, The Palm Beach Post reported. Later, at the shower in Crestview, the father-to-be opened the box and found ... a Mossberg 715T semi-automatic rifle. "You guys got me a gun!" he shouted excitedly. The gun had live ammo loaded in it, so the Crestview Police Department was summoned. Initially, officers let the future dad keep the weapon, but later asked to hold it as they investigated the incident. "Goodwill has the best treasures for $9.99," Alvarez-Rodriguez gushed. [The Palm Beach Post, 12/3/2019]

Bright Ideas

-- At her early December murder trial at Kingston Crown Court in Kingston, England, 35-year-old Asta Juskauskiene of Dartford was accused of setting up a "latter-day medieval duel" between her estranged husband, Giedruis Juskaukus, 42, and her lover, 25-year-old Mantas Kvedaras. As the story goes, according to the Telegraph, the woman had left her husband and become acquainted with Kvedaras, who was serving time in a Lithuanian prison. He was released in May, and after his arrival in England, both men claimed Juskauskiene as their own. So, logically, she decided they should fight to the death in an alleyway on June 17 -- a duel which Juskaukus did not survive. He was found with 35 stab wounds to his body and neck, and Kvedaras confessed to the attack. The prosecutor, Hugh Davies, contends that Juskauskiene manipulated the two men, harbored Kvedaras after the incident, and repeatedly lied to police. She denies conspiring to murder. [Telegraph, 12/3/2019]

-- An unnamed man was detained in Russia on Nov. 28 after it was revealed that he erected a fake border station in the woods near the country's border with Finland and charged four South Asian men to smuggle them into the European Union, the Guardian reported. He charged the men more than $10,000 for the service, but "The man never planned to carry out his promises," according to the Interfax News Agency. The man took the migrants on a circuitous route in the Vyborg region by car and on foot, at one point carrying an inflatable boat, "just in case." All five men were taken into custody. The "smuggler" may be charged with fraud. [Guardian, 12/4/2019]

Runs in the Family

On Nov. 29, Jackson County (Kansas) Sheriff Tim Morse reported that his office had arrested not one, but two, McCrackens for two separate vehicle thefts. Around 1:30 a.m., a deputy stopped Eric Dean McCracken, 36, for a traffic infraction, then arrested him after learning that McCracken was driving with a suspended license. Later that morning, the owner of the truck he was driving reported it stolen, the Topeka Capital-Journal reported. Separately, just before 5 a.m. that day, the Shawnee County Sheriff's Office started tracking a different stolen truck using GPS. When a Holton, Kansas, police officer tried to stop that truck, the driver, Keith Ray McCracken, 32, fled. He eventually stopped the vehicle and tried to escape on foot, but was caught at a convenience store. Officers believe Keith was on his way to the Jackson County Jail to bail out his brother, Eric. Both were held at the jail on multiple charges. [Topeka Capital-Journal, 11/29/2019]