Sometimes a routine traffic stop (in this case, for an expired license plate) is the most interesting incident in a cop's day. So it was on July 10 for Guthrie, Oklahoma, police officers. Around 11 a.m., they stopped a car driven by Stephen Jennings, 40, who had a friend, Rachael Rivera, 30, in the front seat, and a timber rattlesnake in a terrarium on the back seat. Jennings told police he had a gun in the car at about the same time they identified the car as stolen, reported KFOR. Upon further search, officers found an open bottle of whiskey (next to the gun) and a container of "yellowish powder" labeled "uranium." "The uranium is the wild card in that situation," Guthrie Police Sgt. Anthony Gibbs explained. Jennings told police he was trying to create a "super snake" with the radioactive uranium. Charges for Jennings included possession of a stolen vehicle and transporting an open bottle of liquor. Because it was rattlesnake season, his valid hunting and fishing license absolved him of any charges related to the snake. Police are still trying to figure out what charges might be brought regarding the uranium. [KFOR, 7/11/2019]

Right Under Their Noses

Capitol Police in Montpelier, Vermont, discovered dozens of cannabis plants growing in the flower beds along a walkway at the Statehouse on July 8. Police Chief Matthew Romei told NBC5 that it was unclear whether the more than 30 plants were marijuana or hemp, and they don't know who planted them. But since there is no criminal case, officials don't plan to have the plants tested. "It's legal to cultivate, but there are limits on where you can do it, and the Statehouse flower beds certainly aren't one of those permissible sites," Romei said. "If there is a typical Vermont story, this is probably it." [NBC5, 7/11/2019]

Secondhand High

Dr. Scott Dolginow, owner of Valley Emergency Pet Care in Basalt, Colorado, has noticed a new trend among his dog patients. He told The Aspen Times on July 11 that he's seeing three to 10 dogs a week in his veterinary office with marijuana toxicity. No, they're not toking alongside their owners around the fire pit. Dolginow's theory is the dogs are eating human feces while on trails or camping with their owners and getting a secondhand buzz. Pet owner Rebecca Cole said her dog, Marty, started staggering, vomiting and urinating on the floor after hiking with her on a trail last spring. Cole took Marty to the vet, where "they said he was high. I couldn't believe it because I don't have anything in my house." Dolginow said, "Most dogs will eat human feces given the opportunity." [Aspen Times, 7/11/2019]

Awesome!

-- When not just any old Motel 6 will do, check into The Haneda Excel Hotel Tokyu, near Tokyo's airport, and ask for the "Superior Cockpit Room." Along with two beds, a bathroom and a table, the room features a full Boeing 737-800 flight simulator that offers guests the experience of piloting a full-size jet. According to United Press International, the room rents for $234 per night, but for a 90-minute simulator session with an expert, guests will have to cough up another $277. (The simulator can't be used without supervision.) The room became available for booking on July 18. [UPI, 7/11/2019]

-- Gen. Charles Etienne Gudin, one of Napoleon Bonaparte's "favorite generals," was killed by a cannonball on Aug. 22, 1812, during the failed French invasion of Russia. Posthumously, he got the star treatment -- a street named after him in Paris, his name carved on the Arc de Triomphe, and his heart removed and brought home to be placed in a Paris cemetery chapel. But on July 6, Reuters reported, a team of archaeologists found what they believe are his remains buried (ironically) beneath the foundation of a dance floor in Smolensk, Russia. Their first clue? Gudin had lost one of his legs below the knee in battle, and indeed the skeleton was missing its left leg. Scientists will compare the skeleton's DNA with living descendants of Gudin's to confirm their suspicions. [Reuters, 7/9/2019]

That's Not the Way It Works, Karen

In Turkey's new Istanbul Airport, a first-time flyer had to be rescued on July 10 after she assumed the conveyor belt carrying luggage to the baggage sorting room was her path to the plane. The unnamed woman, juggling a carry-on and a shopping bag, stepped carefully up to the moving belt at the airport check-in and tried to climb on, but lost her balance and took a tumble. The Sun reported that airport personnel were quick to stop the conveyor belt and help her off. [The Sun, 7/11/2019]

Questionable Judgment

A. Janus Yeager, 49, of Dixon, Illinois, was arrested on July 9 as she motored toward home with an inflated kiddie pool on the roof of her SUV. CBS2 Chicago reported that Dixon police officers pulled Yeager over after being alerted that there were two children in the pool. Yeager told police she took the pool to a friend's house to inflate it, then had her daughters ride inside it "to hold it down on their drive home." Yeager was charged with two counts of endangering the health or life of a child and two counts of reckless conduct. [CBS Chicago, 7/10/2019]

Bright Idea

People in the United Arab Emirates depend heavily on expensive desalination for drinking water. But an Emirati businessman has a novel idea for providing fresh water to the Arabian gulf. Abdulla Alshehi wants to borrow an iceberg from Antarctica, EuroNews reported in May. For six years, Alshehi has been working on a plan to tow an iceberg, as much as 1.25 miles long and a third of a mile wide, the entire 5,500 miles to the UAE coast. He estimates the journey will take 10 months and the iceberg may lose about 30% of its mass, but Alshehi believes its presence could provide drinking water to about 1 million people for about five years. And that's not all. "It's expected that the presence of these icebergs may cause a weather pattern change (and) attract more rain to the region," he said. A trial run this year will move a smaller iceberg, at a cost of $60 million to $80 million. Alshehi believes the cost of the larger project will be between $100 million and $150 million. [EuroNews, 5/7/2019]

Mr. Guo in the Kitchen With a Ladle

Nearly a year after chef Xiu Bin Wang, 33, was found dead in his room above China Chef carryout restaurant in Brockenhurst, Hampshire, England, police are still trying to figure out how he died, Metro News reported. He apparently suffered a "forceful blow" to the head, and officials first fingered Zhu Long Guo, a colleague at the restaurant who admitted to striking Wang with a ladle during an altercation. "A ladle was seized, and there was a thorough investigation," Detective Constable Brad Wanless reported at an inquest on July 11. But the coroner could not make a definite determination: "I do not accept that there is a clear causal link between the admitted blow with the ladle and the death of Mr. Wang," senior coroner Grahame Short concluded. [Metro News, 7/12/2019]

Armed and Ordained

When the alarm went off at 12:40 a.m. on July 11 at the Seminole Heights Baptist Church in Tampa, Florida, Pastor Brant Adams, 40, was alerted and grabbed his handgun. He arrived at the scene just minutes later, spying a man rifling through a desk in a food pantry in the church. The intruder noticed Adams and started approaching him, so Adams drew his gun and ordered him to hit the floor, which he did. "I said, 'Dude, what are you doing?'" Adams told the Tampa Bay Times. Adams held the man, Miguel Otero-Rivera, 49, at gunpoint until police arrived, who arrested him and charged him with burglary. When police led Otero-Rivera out, he told the pastor, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry." For his part, Adams was just glad no one was hurt. "I never thought I'd pull a gun on someone," he said. "Hope the gentleman gets the help that he needs." [Tampa Bay Times, 7/11/2019]

Clay County (Missouri) Sheriff's officers didn't have to put their tracking skills to much use as they searched for a fugitive in early July near Liberty, Missouri, according to Fox2. The unnamed man, who was wanted for possession of a controlled substance, gave himself away by loudly passing gas in his hiding spot. Deputies noted on Facebook: "If you've got a felony warrant for your arrest, the cops are looking for you and you pass gas so loud it gives up your hiding spot, you're definitely having a (poop emoji) day." [Fox2, 7/9/2019]

Least Competent Criminal

In Shawnee, Oklahoma, Brandon Killian, 29, was already in trouble for brutally beating Jarric Carolina in a June brawl. But as he sat in custody, he told an officer that his face was injured from being "first socked" during the fight. When the officer left the room to get a camera, Killian, who was being recorded, punched himself multiple times in the face (strangely using one hand to propel the other fist into his cheek). Now his charges include preparing false evidence, KFOR reported. "Lying to the police and creating a false report will not be tolerated," warned District Attorney Allan Grubb. Killian is currently serving time in the Oklahoma County Jail for a separate drug court violation. [KFOR, 7/8/2019]

Awesome!

A kindly grandfather, who just wanted to treat nurses at Warrington Hospital in Cheshire, England, for the good care given to a relative, unwittingly gave them a red velvet cake laced with cannabis on May 27. According to Sky News, the man got the cake from his grandson's 18th birthday party and presented it to staff at the hospital. An unnamed staff member said three or four of the nurses were "off their faces" afterward, and another noted how "relaxed" they were. Cheshire police destroyed what remained of the cake after the incident. [Sky News, 7/6/2019]

News You Can Use

Car rental companies in Japan began noticing last summer that some customers were putting very few miles on their vehicles, so they conducted surveys to find out what renters are using the cars for, reported The Asahi Shimbun, and discovered that one in eight renters were using cars for something besides transportation, to wit: napping (most popular activity), talking on the phone, eating lunch, watching TV, putting on Halloween costumes and doing stretches said to reduce the size of their face. One respondent said she uses rented cars to store bags and other belongings because coin-operated lockers are sometimes all in use. Renting is cheap in Japan, costing only a few hundred yen (several dollars). [The Asahi Shimbun, 7/4/2019]

Bird Brain

Ted Richards of Bristol, England, isn't your run-of-the-mill bird lover. He admires parrots so much that he has had his face tattooed with feathers and his eyes colored with tattoo ink, risking blindness. HuffPost reported that Richards, who goes by Ted Parrotman, also had his ears removed, which has impaired his hearing. "Parrots only got little holes anyways, so I had them cut off," he said. "I didn't think about the complications, you know? Because if you looked at negative all the time, you'd never do anything." Well said, Parrotman. Well said. [HuffPost, 7/3/2019]

Blast From the Past

A plumber renovating the former Centralia High School in Centralia, Illinois, unearthed a 75-year-old trove of memories in late June. Inside a bathroom wall heat vent, he discovered 15 women's wallets, all from students at the school in the mid-1940s. The cash was missing, but photographs, IDs and other materials were still in the billfolds. "War is ending," said Seth Baltzell, pastor of the City Hope Church, which is converting the building. "So there are lots of things like pictures of soldiers." Baltzell posted pictures of the wallets on Facebook, and relatives of 89-year-old Betty June Sissom of Chesterfield, Missouri, saw them. "I remember I lost my wallet," Sissom told KSDK. "Oh my goodness, look at the boy's pictures I have ... They took all the money, huh?" Sorry, Betty. [KSDK, 7/8/2019]

Inexplicable

On the afternoon of July 7, Timothy Smith, 24, and his fiancee returned to their new home in Gresham, Oregon, to find things not quite right. They noted items out of place, others that didn't belong to them, a mirror ripped out of a bathroom and holes kicked in bedroom walls. Then they found a cat (wearing a green cashmere shirt belonging to Smith's chihuahua) hiding in a crawl space, The Oregonian reported, and called police. Fifteen minutes later, officers emerged from the house with Ryan Bishop, 38, wearing the woman's Christmas onesie. Smith told reporters the man had broken into the home and settled right in, eating a cupcake, making coffee, smoking Smith's weed, playing video games and collecting a clean, warm onesie out of the dryer. Bishop was charged with first-degree burglary, first-degree criminal mischief and third-degree theft. Smith is seeking a home for the cat. His fiancee declined the return of her onesie. [The Oregonian, 7/8/2019]

Oops!

-- Pool maintenance workers in Boca Raton, Florida, were interrupted on July 5 when one of them was shot in the leg with a pellet gun. "I heard him scream at the top of his lungs," homeowner E-Lyn Bryan told WPTV, "and he had blood coming out of his leg and he was shot by the hunter." Police responding to the shooting said someone hired to kill iguanas in the neighborhood shot the pool boy instead. "If neighbors are gonna be like the Wild West and shoot at everything, someone is gonna get killed," Bryan said. It was unclear whether the shooter was caught or charged. [WPTV, 7/8/2019]

-- Michael Tam, 40, of Tower, Minnesota, is in fair condition after a freak accident on July 6. Tam was attempting to move a 12-by-16-foot wooden cabin at Daisy Bay Resort "when the structure fell off the jacks, trapping him underneath," St. Louis County Sheriff's officials said. According to City Pages, a building of this size may weigh about 6,500 pounds. Tam was taken to a Duluth hospital; no details were reported about his condition. [City Pages, 7/8/2019]

Ewwww

Jung Soon Wypcha, 66, took retail competition to a new level in Indian Shores, Florida, in June, where over several days she sabotaged Lu Lu's Ice Cream shop, located next door to her Indian Shores Food Mart. The two shops share a bathroom, and starting on June 17, video showed Wypcha (1) used the bathroom with the door open and didn't wash her hands, then went to the ice cream freezer and put her hands into the containers; (2) picked her nose, then put her hands into the containers; (3) spit into the containers. Wypcha's piece de resistance took place on June 22, when she urinated into an ice cream bucket, then dumped the bucket in a sink where ice cream utensils and bowls are washed. Lu Lu's owner Paul Chiulli told the Tampa Bay Times that Wypcha ruined $2,000 worth of ice cream and forced his shop to close for five days. She was charged with criminal mischief and tampering with consumer products, both felonies. [Tampa Bay Times, 7/9/2019]

Crime Report

In late May, an inmate at Buena Vista Correctional Facility in Buena Vista, Colorado, tipped off officials that an employee there was bringing drugs into the prison. On July 2, the Department of Corrections nabbed their man: Trevor Martineau, 27 -- a corrections officer. According to KDVR, officials found a burrito with a plastic bag sticking out of the end in Martineau's lunch box. The bag contained "roughly 91 grams of meth, 26 grams of heroin and 46 strips of suboxone," along with other items. Martineau reportedly said he was paid $1,000 to pick up the drugs, and officials located $960 at his home. Martineau was charged with first-degree introduction of contraband and three charges of unlawful possession of a controlled substance. He also lost his job. [KDVR, 7/9/2019]

In Yokohama, Japan, near Tokyo, one can visit the Unko Museum -- a whole interactive experience built around "cute" poop. ("Unko" means poop in Japanese.) For example, reports the Associated Press, one can sit on a colorful fake toilet and pretend to poop as music plays, then collect a brightly colored souvenir poop to take home. An enormous poop sculpture erupts every 30 minutes, volcanolike, and spews little foam poops. In one room, visitors can play a "whack-a-mole" type game where they stomp on poops. Visitor Toshifumi Okuya was delighted: "It's funny because there are adults running around screaming, 'poop, poop,'" he said. The museum opened in March and will remain open until September. [Associated Press, 7/4/2019]

Suspicions Confirmed

In the College Station neighborhood of Pulaski County, Arkansas, traditions run deep, especially when it comes to the Fourth of July. Beneques Christopher, 19, told KSDK that the holiday "firework war" has been going on for years, and even attracts people from other neighborhoods: "They know when Fourth of July comes, this is the spot to be at." But this year, the ritual went awry, resulting in many injuries and several people facing charges. Christopher was one of the victims: "It popped right here," he said, pointing to his groin area. "And it could have been dangerous because I almost lost everything." Instead, he suffered a second-degree burn on his thigh, but he feels lucky that he didn't lose any fingers, as five others did. When police officers arrived, people started pointing fireworks at them, leaving two deputies with injuries. While a local pastor hopes to shut the tradition down, Christopher vows to continue it: "We started the tradition, and now we have to keep it going," he said. [KSDK, 7/5/2019]

Walmart Shunning

An unnamed woman pulled a stunt in a Wichita Falls, Texas, Walmart on June 25 that got her banned from the store. According to NBC News, Police Sgt. Harold McClure said a store employee reported that the woman had eaten half a cake from the bakery, then attempted to buy the other half (for half-price), saying she found the cake in that condition. While Walmart did not want to press charges, they did prohibit her from shopping at the store in the future -- a policy they're familiar with, after an incident in January at another Wichita Falls Walmart. In that case, a woman rode an electric cart around the store's parking lot while guzzling wine from a Pringles can. She was also Walmart-shunned. [NBC News, 7/1/2019]

Least Competent Criminal

A craving for cake batter ice cream brought New York City police officers to a Baskin-Robbins store in Coney Island on June 29 -- a fortuitous detour, as it turned out. The Associated Press reported that when 33-year-old Emmanuel Lovett walked into the shop and tugged on his denim shorts, a loaded pistol dropped to the floor, and officers swarmed Lovett, who, it turns out, had a robbery record that prohibited him from having a firearm. He was charged with criminal possession of a firearm. No word on whether he, or the officers, enjoyed their ice cream. [Associated Press, 7/2/2019]

Telling It Like It Is

A diner in Little Rock, Arkansas, is getting attention for a clever menu item. According to United Press International, Mama D's offers a "My Girlfriend Is Not Hungry" option, which adds extra fries, chicken wings or cheese sticks to an order to share with a dinner partner who underestimates their hunger. On its Facebook page, Mama D's said the option is "a solution for those who tend to dine with people that eat food off their plate." [UPI, 7/3/2019]

Family Values

On July 6, Okaloosa County (Florida) sheriff's deputies responded to a 911 call after a 13-year-old boy stabbed his 15-year-old brother in the arm three times with a multi-tool. The boys, from Clarksville, Tennessee, were sitting in a parked car in Crestview, Florida, when the incident occurred. Lt. Todd Watkins told Fox News that the younger boy was "tired of his brother picking on him," and he told officers he'd "rather be in jail than eight hours in the car with him." "I stabbed him and I don't care about going back to jail," he said. While the 15-year-old was in the back of an ambulance being treated, he was overheard calling some of his friends to retaliate against his younger brother. The 13-year-old was charged with aggravated battery with a deadly weapon. [Fox News, 7/7/2019]

Just Say No

An Independence Day holiday in Bodega Harbor, California, went terribly wrong for a group of six friends who rented a house there. On July 4, 32-year-old Betai Koffi of San Francisco indulged heavily in LSD, taking four doses over the course of the afternoon. He became delusional and violent with his friends, who were trying to prevent him from leaving the home. After assaulting several of his housemates and wrecking a rental car, he took off on foot and came upon a security guard. Koffi plucked a landscape light out of the ground, Sonoma County Sheriff's Sgt. Spencer Crum told KTVU, "and stabs the security guard with the metal end of it," knocking the guard to the ground. Koffi then stole the guard's pickup truck and ran down two different couples as they enjoyed an evening walk. Finally, sheriff's and highway patrol officers arrived, and Koffi aimed the truck at them and accelerated. A CHP officer fired his gun, striking Koffi three times. "If this guy had kept going, who knows what he could have done to other people," Crum said. "He was just blatantly going after people, driving after them." Eight people were injured, but all are expected to recover. [KTVU, 7/5/2019]

Dumb and Dumber

According to WHDH, two men were transported to the hospital on July 6 after both were shot in the foot while they cleaned a loaded, homemade cannon in a basement in Epping, New Hampshire. Friends drove Albert Dionne, 56, of Nottingham, New Hampshire, and Christopher Krafton, 52, of Amesbury, Massachusetts, to the Epping Fire Station in the bed of a pickup truck. The cannon, made from the barrel of a muzzleloader rifle, had been loaded and failed to discharge, so they were cleaning it. [WHDH, 7/7/2019]

Redneck Chronicles

OK, the first mistake was letting Matthew Morrison, 44, sleep in a tent on your lawn. A homeowner in Crestview, Florida, allowed Morrison to bunk on the property as a favor to someone he was trying to help. But things went south on July 6, when Morrison entered the home without permission and threw lighted firecrackers under a sleeping 9-year-old girl's bed. The homeowner chased Morrison out of the house with a stick. Morrison told Okaloosa County Sheriff's deputies it was a "prank gone wrong," but the little girl was left terrified. Lt. Todd Watkins told Fox News: "I'm not sure what he was trying to accomplish. The prank thing didn't really sound like it was a legitimate reason." Well, maybe this had something to do with it: When Morrison was arrested, officers found 2 grams of methamphetamine in his pocket. Morrison had a prior criminal history, including drug charges; he was charged with burglary and possession of methamphetamine. [Fox News, 7/7/2019]

Sweet Revenge

Serina Wolfe, 24, was about $5,000 mad at her boyfriend, Michael Crane, for his refusal to buy her a plane ticket for her return trip to New York, the Tampa Bay Times reported. So she used his credit card to pay for an expensive breakfast at Clear Sky Beachside Cafe in Clearwater, Florida, on June 27 -- REALLY expensive, because she left a $5,000 tip for the waitress. Initially, Wolfe told Crane the charge wasn't hers, and he reported it as fraudulent. But the restaurant had already paid the server the $5,000. Wolfe, of Buffalo, New York, was charged with grand theft after admitting that she was the big tipper. [Tampa Bay Times, 7/3/2019]