Two hundred boredom "activists" gathered in London in December at James Ward's annual banal-apalooza conference, "Boring 2010," to listen to ennui-stricken speakers glorify all things dreary, including a demonstration of milk-tasting (in wine glasses, describing flavor and smoothness), charts breaking down the characteristics of a man's sneezes for three years, and a PowerPoint presentation on the color distribution and materials of a man's necktie collection from one year to the next. Another speaker's "My Relationship With Bus Routes" seemed well-received, also. Observed one attendee, to a Wall Street Journal reporter: "We're all overstimulated. I think it's important to stop all that for a while and see what several hours of being bored really feels like."

(1) The Key Underwood Memorial Graveyard near Cherokee, Ala., is reserved as hallowed ground for burial of genuine coon dogs, which must be judged authentic before their carcasses can be accepted, according to a December report in The Birmingham News. The Tennessee Valley Coon Hunters Association must attest to the dog's having had the ability "to tree a raccoon." (In March, a funeral for one coon dog at Key Underwood drew 200 mourners.) (2) Safety Harbor, Fla., trailer-park neighbors Joe Capes and Ronald Richards fought in December, with sheriff's deputies called and Capes arrested for assaulting Richards. The two were arguing over whether the late country singer Conway Twitty was gay.

-- A sculpture on display at Normandale Community College in Bloomington, Minn., was stolen in December. The piece, by artist John Ilg, consisted of wire mesh over a frame, with 316 rolled-up dollar bills stuffed in the mesh. The piece was titled, "Honesty." (Attitudes have changed in the two years since the piece was first presented, at the Minnesota State Fair, when visitors liked it so much that they added rolled bills to the display.)

-- Elected officials caught violating the very laws they have sanctimoniously championed are so numerous as to be No Longer Weird, but the alleged behavior of Colorado state Sen. Suzanne Williams following her December car crash seems over-the-top. Though a strong seat belt and child-seat advocate, Williams was driving near Amarillo, Texas, with her two unbelted grandchildren when her SUV drifted over the center line and hit another vehicle head-on, killing that driver and ejecting Williams' 3-year-old grandchild, who survived with injuries. A Texas Department of Public Safety report noted that Williams was seen scooping up the child, returning him to the SUV and belting him in.

-- Unclear on the Concept: A 41-year-old woman, arrested in Callaway, Fla., in December for beating her husband with a rock, explained that she was angry that he was endangering his health by smoking despite being ill. Said she, "A woman can only take so much."

-- Katrina Camp, 30, was picked up by deputies in September on a Forest Service road near Nederland, Colo., having earlier walked away from her unclothed 2-year-old daughter, whom she had left to fend for herself in a pickup truck. Camp, however, was candid about the problem: "I suck." ("You're a parent," she told a deputy. "(Y)ou know how it is. Sometimes you just need a break.")

By his own testimony, John Ditullio is a hateful neo-Nazi who despised his next-door neighbors in New Port Richey, Fla. (a white woman with an African-American friend and a son who was openly gay), but when the son was murdered and the mother attacked in 2006, Ditullio denied involvement, and though he earned a hung jury in his first trial, his retrial was scheduled for November 2010. For each day of the trial, a makeup artist was hired (paid for by the government at $135 a day) to cover up Ditullio's swastika neck tattoo and crude-phrase cheek tattoo so as to keep jurors from being unfairly prejudiced. (Nonetheless, Ditullio was convicted in December and sentenced to death.)

Suspected of stealing scraps of copper in Riverside, Ohio, in December: Jesus Christ Superstar Oloff, 33. Arrested for sex abuse against a 6-year-old boy in Oklahoma City in October: Lucifer Hawkins, 30. On trial in December for extortion in Britain's Southwark Crown Court (threatening to reveal a sexual affair): Ms. Fuk Wu. Sought as a suspect in a convenience store killing in Largo, Fla., in December (and an example of the highly revealing "Three First Names" theory of criminal liability), Mr. Larry Joe Jerry -- who actually has four first names (Larry Joe Jerry Jr.).

-- The Toronto Public Library began its "Human Library" project in November with about 200 users registering to "check out" interesting persons from the community who would sit and converse with patrons who might not otherwise have the opportunity to mingle with people like them. The first day's lend-outs, for a half-hour at a time, included a police officer, a comedian, a former sex worker, a model, and a person who had survived cancer, homelessness and poverty. The Human Library actually harkens back to olden times, said a TPL official, where "storytelling from person to person" "was the only way to learn."

-- If Life Gives You a Lemon, Make Lemonade: (1) When Bernie Ecclestone, CEO of the Formula One racing circuit, was mugged in November and had his jewelry stolen, he sent a photograph of his battered face to the Hublot watch company and convinced its chief executive to run a brief advertising campaign, "See What People Will Do for a Hublot." (2) The treasurer of Idaho County, Idaho, turned down the November suggestion of local physician Andrew Jones -- that more cancers might be detected early if the county sent colonoscopy suggestions to residents along with their official tax notices. The treasurer said residents might find the reminders "ironic."

Ouch! (1) Joe Colclasure, 25, was arrested and charged with robbing the bank located inside an Albertson's supermarket in Palm Desert, Calif., in December. Several employees and customers had recognized Colclasure while he was committing the robbery, but it wasn't over for him until he accidentally slammed the bank's door on his hand during his getaway. The pain disabled him long enough so that an employee could hold him until police arrived. (2) Thieves often leave police-trackable trails from the scene to their home, but for alleged shoplifter Michael Barton, 29, of Venango County, Pa., the trail was of his own blood, starting at the Wal-Mart where he had cut himself badly removing razor blades from their packages in order to fit more into his pocket.

Charles Clements, 69, appeared in this space two months ago in a report on his having deliberately shot to death a 23-year-old neighbor whose fox terrier had answered a call of nature on the perfectly manicured lawn of the reportedly obsessive Clements. (According to witnesses, the victim was displaying macho bravado just before the shooting, but Clements admitted he was not under attack when he fired.) On Dec. 29, a judge in a Chicago suburb rejected requests for a 20-year sentence and ordered Clements to serve only four months -- out of jail, on probation.

A Police Officer's Dream Come True: Vincent Morrissey's police brutality lawsuit went to trial in New Haven, Conn., in December (1997), and West Haven police officer Ralph Angelo was on the witness stand, claiming that Morrissey himself had provoked the encounter by swinging at Angelo. Morrissey's attorney, skeptical of the testimony, asked Officer Angelo to demonstrate to the jury how hard Morrissey had swung at him. Before the lawyer could clarify what he meant by "demonstrate," Officer Angelo popped the lawyer on the chin, staggering him and forcing an immediate recess.

A now-10-year-old church in Denver ministers to (as contemplated by 1 Corinthians 4:11-13) the homeless, the reviled, and the persecuted and formally named itself after the actual words in verse 13, the "Scum of the Earth" Church. The congregation touts nonjudgmental Christianity; owns an elegant, aging building (but holds services elsewhere because of fire code violations); and is a rough mix of anarchists, punk rockers, environmentalists and disaffected teens perhaps mainly keen on angering their parents. "Scum" (as church members matter-of-factly call themselves) tilt mildly philosophically conservative (though not nearly evangelical), connected only by the common belief that "God is love," according to a December report in Denver's Westword.

-- Among the recent works funded by Arts Council England was a "painting" consisting of a blank canvas, for which artist Agnieszka Kurant was paid the equivalent of about $2,300 and on which she intends to paint something in the future. Rounding out her exhibition were a "sculpture" that was not really present and a "movie" that had been shot with no film in the camera.

-- In October, borrowing from the U.S. Air Guitar Championship (which honors self-made guitar "heroes" playing wild rock 'n' roll as if they were holding real guitars), the second annual Air Sex Championship was held in the Music Hall in Brooklyn, N.Y., and eventually won by Lady C. (whose performance could not easily be described). Each contestant (solo only) had two minutes to cover "all the bases": "meeting, seduction, foreplay, intercourse, and, if successful, afterglow," and exposing body parts was not allowed.

-- Questionable Judgments: (1) The New Jersey Government Record Council ruled in December that the town of Somerset had overcharged Tom Coulter in 2008 by $4.04 on the $5 it collected for a compact disc of a council meeting and must issue a refund. The town estimates that it spent about $17,000 fighting Coulter's appeals (and paying his attorney's fees). (2) Brandi Jo Winkelman, 17, was charged in September in Juneau, Wis., with violating the state's child abuse law after a schoolyard fight and risks a maximum of six years in prison. Authorities charged Winkelman even though her "victim" was a classmate older than Winkelman.

-- Police in Hyderabad, Pakistan, recently arrested a doctor for the increasingly suspect crime of insulting Islam -- after he merely tossed away the business card of a man who happened to have the last name "Muhammad." According to a December Associated Press dispatch, "dozens" of Pakistanis are sentenced to death each year for such tangential references to the holy name of Muhammad, but the government fears that trying to repeal the law might incite Muslim extremism.

If You're Not Safe in Your Own Home ...: (1) At 2 a.m. on Nov. 13 in Akron, Ohio, a 70-year-old woman was the victim of a home invasion when Cory Buckley, 22, broke in and robbed her. According to the police report, the woman was seated on the commode at the time, and Buckley was dressed in a clown mask. (2) Melissa Wagaman, 33, was convicted in November in Hagerstown, Md., of a February home invasion in which she broke into her neighbor's house while wearing only a bridal skirt and veil. She later blamed cold medicine and marijuana.

Among the Major League Baseball players (average salary: about $3.3 million) who spent time on the disabled list in 2010: Kendry Morales (Angels), who broke his leg jumping on home plate after hitting a home run; Brian Roberts (Orioles), who was out a week with a concussion when he smacked himself in the head with his bat after striking out; Chris Coghlan (Marlins), who needed knee surgery after giving a teammate a playful post-game shaving-cream pie; and Geoff Blum (Astros), who needed elbow surgery after straining his arm putting on his shirt.

Robert Hurst, 47, was charged after an incident at the cemetery in Picayune, Miss., pursuing his hobby of "orb photography" -- capturing the images of circles of light at night, especially the ones that appear to him as faces. Hurst was spotted one night in December, naked, setting up his camera, thus giving rise to a charge of indecent exposure. He explained that he thought bare skin would be the "best canvas" for orb photography.

Fortunately for Police, Disguising His E-Mail Address Did Not Occur to Him: Kyle D. Gore, 23, of Naperville, Ill., was arrested in December for allegedly downloading child pornography on his computer. Police identified Gore as the man trying to find people online who could help him have encounters with children, using the address "kdg31087@aol.com" (an unimaginative identifier for someone of Gore's initials and born, as Gore was, in 1987).

Anatomically Equipped Shoplifters: (1) Video surveillance at the Beall's Outlet store in Crestview, Fla., in December showed a woman handing clothing to a man, who would roll it up and hand it back, and the woman concealing the items in her purse, or in the case of one pair of shoes, under her breasts. The pair were charged with misdemeanor theft. (2) Ailene Brown, 28, and Shmeco Thomas, 37, were arrested in Edmond, Okla., in November and charged with shoplifting at a TJ Maxx store. Surveillance video revealed that, among the items stuffed in the pair's belly fat and under their armpits and breasts were four pairs of boots, three pairs of jeans, a wallet and gloves.

-- The federal agency that administers Medicare acknowledged to the South Florida Sun-Sentinel in November that the government often overpays for patient wheelchairs due to a quirk in its rules. Ordinary wheelchairs sell for $100 to $350, but Medicare cannot reimburse patients who buy the chairs; it can only pay for rentals (for up to 13 months), for $40 to $135 a month. (A 2009 audit found that Medicare allowed up to $7,215 for oxygen dispensers that were available for sale for $587 and $4,018 for a power wheelchair that cost suppliers $1,048.)

-- A December Wall Street Journal investigation turned up instances of physical-therapy doctors earning millions of dollars a year in Medicare payments by "treating" nonexistent patients or by overtreating real patients or by providing controversial "treatments" that other therapists say are useless. Describing the work of hard-partying, spike-haired Miami Beach doctor Christopher Wayne, one former physical-therapy association official likened Wayne's expensive "treatment" to "back rubs." (Medicare law requires prompt payment to doctors but prevents the public release of doctors' billing records -- even if all patient identification is hidden -- thus ensuring that any Medicare abuses can only be uncovered by a small team of federal investigators and not by the press unless, as the Wall Street Journal did, they investigate patient by patient.)

London's The Independent reported from Tokyo in December on the prolonged, even "epic" sulk (a state of funk called "hikikomori") that afflicts a million young professionals, who simply withdraw from their careers and hole up nearly 24 hours a day in their apartments (or rooms in their parents' homes) for months at a time, emerging only to gather food before retreating inside for TV or video games. Many psychiatrists call it merely an extreme reaction to parents who have pressured their sons to succeed. (In July 2008, the Japanese software company Avex produced a video to help those men, simply featuring a series of young women staring into the lens, occasionally saying "Good morning," so that hikikomori sufferers can practice feeling the gazes of strangers.)

Catch-22 Catches Disabled Veteran: David Henderson, a Korean War veteran long suffering from paranoid schizophrenia, applied 15 days past the deadline for enhanced care under a 2001 veterans-benefits law and thus was, as required by the statute, disqualified from the additional benefits. Henderson's doctor pointed out that major disorders such as Henderson's often leave victims unable to understand concepts like "deadlines." As U.S. Supreme Court Justice Stephen Breyer asked, during argument on the case in December, did Congress (which wrote the statute) really intend to deprive Henderson of care because of the very disability for which he sought help? (A decision is expected in the spring.)

-- Swinging bachelors often try to impress potential mates with their fancy cars, houses and jewelry, and it appears that male bowerbirds of Papua New Guinea employ a similar mating strategy by building elaborate tree homes. National Geographic magazine noted in July that the birds can "build a hut that looks like a doll's house" or "arrange flowers, leaves and mushrooms in such an artistic manner" that researchers liken them to the craftsmanship of humans. Biologists observed females gravitating to males who had such structures as a three-foot tower of twigs, nuts and beetles, decorated with "garlands of caterpillar feces glistening with dew."

-- Best Not to Ask Why: Fredrik Hjelmqvist, 45, owner of an audio shop in Stockholm, demonstrated in November his system of broadcasting music from his stomach. He swallowed a plastic capsule containing a battery-operated audio set-up, then connected an amplifier to a stethoscope and held it against his belly, and began playing recorded music, including the Village People's "YMCA," until the battery died three hours later. Hjelmqvist admitted that the audio quality was poor but still hopes to sell the system for the equivalent of about $17,000.

-- Do They Know? (1) An October Houston Chronicle review of "authorities" on animal "consciousness" suggested that perhaps dogs are embarrassed when their owners dress them in tacky Halloween costumes. "Pet Psychic" maven Sonya Fitzpatrick said she was certain that some feel shame at their owners' poor fashion sense, but another practitioner said dogs' reactions were probably only to their physical discomfort with the clothing itself. (2) A conservation organization in China's Sichuan province routinely dresses caregivers in panda suits to socialize baby pandas that have lost their mothers so that the babies do not become accustomed to humans. However, as London's Daily Telegraph reported in a December dispatch, experts acknowledge that they have no idea whether the babies are fooled.

-- The American Veterinary Chiropractic Association announced recently that it is seeking 400 dachshunds for experiments in which a chiropractic vet will "crack the backs" of dogs for an unspecified research project. Test subjects are preferred that have "uneven leg length that is influenced with neck flexion" but which have not been under the care of a chiropractor within the previous 60 days.

-- Gloria Clark, 62, was charged in the death of her 98-year-old mother in St. George, S.C., in December after the mother's body was found among squalid conditions at her home. Though Clark denied she had been neglectful, the mother's pet parrot might have disagreed. According to the police report, the parrot, in the mother's bedroom, continually squawked -- mimicking "Help me! Help me!" followed by the sound of laughter.

Life Imitates a Monty Python Sketch: An unnamed Danish man traveled to Vienna, Austria, in July for a trial on his lawsuit against the man who had sold him a defective cockatoo for the equivalent of about $15,000. In a demonstration for the judge in the courtroom's hallway, the bird flew "lopsided," with the probable cause (according to the purchaser) chronic gout. The judge's decision was not reported.

(1) An official release of San Francisco's Department of the Environment in July apparently cleared up a matter of controversy (according to a report in SF Weekly): Human semen is one organic waste product not required to be disposed of in special "compost" bags under the city's mandatory composting law. (However, "snot" must be properly bagged.) (2) The Green Party is occasionally criticized for its overrepresentation of whites and upper-income people, who are less likely to flinch at the added costs of environmental protections. In October, the Green Party candidate for governor of Illinois, Rich Whitney, was shocked to see that the sample ballot for the November election mistakenly displayed his name as "Rich Whitey." (Corrections were made in time for election day.)

Darren Suchon, 42 and unemployed (and usually home all day), was charged in October with reckless driving and assault, among other things, for allegedly running his girlfriend off the road in his zeal to catch her after she drove away with his Sony PlayStation console. She had just left for work, and Suchon weaved through traffic in Palmerton, Pa., then bumped her car when he caught up with her at a traffic light, forcing her off the road. According to witnesses, Suchon rushed the car, "clawing" at it, screaming that he would "break the (expletive) window" if he didn't get his game back.

(1) In December, Mr. Alkis Gerd'son moved out of student housing at Canada's University of Victoria, which had been his home since 1991 (even though he long ago obtained his degree and had not taken a class in 13 years). Gerd'son claims various stress disorders (over, perhaps, finding a job?) and had until now stymied efforts to evict him by filing claims before human rights tribunals. (2) Ricardo West, a professional Michael Jackson impersonator (who staged "Michael Lives! The Michael Jackson Tribute Concert") was charged in August in Allen Park, Mich., with 12 counts of child molestation.

Kids Law: (1) In July, a 5-year-old boy in Dublin, Ireland, was awarded the equivalent of about $9,900 from a shopkeeper who had grabbed his arm and accused him, erroneously, of being a thief. Under the law, the boy had to prove that he has, at age 5, a "reputation in the community" for truth-telling and that his reputation had been damaged. (2) A New York City judge ruled in October that an 87-year-old woman who was accidentally knocked down by several kids racing bicycles on the sidewalk could sue the kids, including one who was 4 years old (and who is thus legally presumed to understand the difference between "reasonable" and "unreasonable" behavior).

Thank Goodness for Narcissists: (1) Murder suspect Earle Barranco, 24, was arrested in Charlotte, N.C., in November, three weeks after allegedly killing a man in a New York City diner. Barranco was spotted at a Charlotte Bobcats basketball game, mugging for the arena's JumboTron while decked out in the distinctive jewelry he wore during the alleged murder. At the next Bobcats game a few days later, with police monitoring that same seat, Barranco was arrested. (2) Dennis Davis, 40, and his wife were convicted in October in Britain's Staines Magistrates' Court of manufacturing a line of pirated music CDs. Davis initially denied ownership of the pirated stash but was unable to explain why the CDs bore his company's label with his own photo on it.

In August (2001), Naples (Fla.) City Councilman Fred Tarrant demanded that local artist Ted Lay's "Famous Tongue Mona Al Monica" painting (side-by-side impressions of Mona Lisa, Albert Einstein and Monica Lewinsky sticking their tongues out) be removed from its place at a Naples municipal art center because he thinks Lewinsky's "tongue" too much resembled a penis (which Lay denied). According to a Naples Daily News report, Tarrant is in fact blind but said various "advisers" assured him that the tongue resembled a penis.