War Is Hell: The day before British army chef Liam Francis, 26, arrived at his forward operating base in Afghanistan, the Taliban shot down the helicopter ferrying in food rations, and Francis realized he had to make do with supplies on hand. In his pantry were only seasonings, plus hundreds of tins of Spam. For six weeks, until resupply, Francis prepared "sweet and sour Spam," "Spam fritters," "Spam carbonara," "Spam stroganoff" and "stir-fried Spam." He told the Daily Telegraph that he was proud of his work but admitted that "morale improved" when fresh food arrived.

(1) In November, Jim Bartek, 49, of Maple Heights, Ohio, announced he was ending his streak of 524 consecutive days in which he listened to the album "Nostradamus" by the heavy-metal group Judas Priest. (2) In February, Hilary Taylor, 63, of Great Yarmouth, England, revealed that she had been bequeathed her uncle Ken Strickland's collection of 3,000 watering cans. Strickland, who also kept meticulous records of the holdings, died in January.

-- Details about Britain's biggest marijuana-importing operation emerged in March following the conviction of its three managers in Southwark Crown Court. The enterprise earned the equivalent of as much as $300 million at such a rapid clip that the partners apparently were unable to use much of it, despite buying real estate, jewelry and expensive cars. An inspector said Scotland Yard found "moldy" cash "rotting away," hidden under floorboards. "(I)t was no good to anybody."

-- Recession's Over: Among the items on display in February at the Verona Luxury Fair in Verona, Italy: a hand-crafted billiards table covered in gold sheets; an armchair topped with the skin of 20 crocodiles; a 24-carat gold racing bike; a boat with a Ferrari engine; a golden coffin (with cell phone); and a diamond-studded wedding gown in pink chinchilla fur.

-- Pigs Livin' Large: (1) Among the items that celebrity farmer Cathy Gieseker bought with proceeds from the $12 million Ponzi scheme she, in February, was sentenced for perpetrating (prosecutors called her the "Midwest Madoff") was a $900 tanning bed for her "show" pigs. (2) Farmer Chang Chung-tou, of Yunlin County, Taiwan, drew praise from environmentalists in December for having "toilet"-trained almost all of his 20,000 pigs to use his 600 specially rigged plots that collect and separate urine and feces. Chang's farm conserves water and facilitates recycling.

-- Animals With Issues: (1) Ashley Saks' 2-year-old basset hound Roxy was resting comfortably in Jacksonville, Fla., in November following a vet's removal, one by one, of the 130 nails she had compulsively swallowed. (2) The polar bear Aisaqvaq produced two cubs in December at Quebec's Zoo Sauvage de Saint-Felicien. Aisaqvaq had given birth to another the previous December, but had eaten it. (3) In November, maritime rescuers were called to ocean waters off the coast of Darwin, Australia, to rescue an adult cow that was dog-paddling around and, according to a seaman, "not in a good mood."

-- Natural Selection: (1) Female cane toads are choosy at mating, according to a recent article in Biology Letters. A desirable male is permitted to hop onto the female's back and start the process, but the female is also able to inflate sacs in her body to bloat herself so large that males slide off before completing insemination. (Also, to test the strength of the male's grip, the researchers encouraged necrophilia: The scientists doused dead female toads with pheromones to measure males' horniness.) (2) Female short-nosed fruit bats in China's Guangdong Province show their preference for certain males by fellating them, according to an October journal article. Researchers observed that licked males were able to copulate longer, thus improving the likelihood of insemination. (The scientists also confirmed that bats mate while upside down.)

Later this year, manufacturer Organovo, of San Diego, will begin shipping its $200,000 ink-jet-type printers that create living organs for patients needing transplants. The 3-D "bioprinter" works by spraying extracted microscopic cells on top of each other, in pass after pass. On the bioprinter's equivalent of a sheet of paper, and under laboratory conditions, the cells fuse together and grow for weeks until an organ substantial enough for research use is created (and ultimately, substantial enough for human transplants). The bioprinter is faster than growing such organs from scratch, which scientists at the Wake Forest Institute for Regenerative Medicine have been doing for several years.

If you're wearing a ski mask and carrying a gun and walk into a store to rob it, but there are no employees there to rob, and you abort, is that an "attempted robbery"? Sanjuan Reyes, 22, and two teenagers were arrested in Joliet, Ill., in January and charged with attempting to rob the Supermercado Viva Mexico. Two acted as lookouts while the youngest, wearing a ski mask and wielding an air pistol, entered the store. Apparently, the only employees on duty were in the back room. The boy waited for a minute or so, then bailed out, and the three fled empty-handed. Joliet's deputy police chief said a crime was committed.

In March, sheriff's deputies in Kissimmee, Fla., detained a U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement agent who was working undercover but who had aroused suspicions of residents of a neighborhood. After investigating, the deputies discovered that in order to guard his identity as an ICE agent, the man was posing as an FBI agent. [Orlando Sentinel, 3-4-10]

(1) Jonathon Smith, 27, was arrested in March in Fairbanks, Alaska, shortly after his release on bail on charges that he tried to buy three trucks from local dealers using forged checks. His latest arrest came at Seekins Ford, where, according to police, he was trying to buy yet another pickup truck with a forged check. (2) Falmouth, Mass., police hired John Yarrington as a confidential informant on Feb. 16, setting him up with $100 in marked bills to make a cocaine buy from dealer Cory Noonan, which Yarrington completed. He left the scene, but less than 10 minutes later, before Noonan could be arrested, Yarrington returned and, according to police, attempted to buy more cocaine on his own.

(1) A 36-year-old man drowned in Denville, N.J., in January during a friendly swimming competition with a pal, as they raced underneath a 30-yard long ice patch on partially frozen Indian Lake. (2) New York City police believe that drug-gang hit man Hector Quinones, 44, shot three men to death in a high-rise apartment in December, but allowed a woman in the apartment to escape when he tripped on his own baggy pants while chasing her. As police arrived, Quinones climbed out onto the fire escape but accidentally fell off and broke his neck.

Two-time convicted bank robber Mark Turner filed a lawsuit against Canada's National Parole Board in 2001 because the board had released him early from prison in 1987 from a previous sentence. The board should have kept him inside until that sentence ran out in 1994, he said, and it was thus the board's fault that while on parole, Turner had robbed another bank and had again been locked up. By 1994, he said, he would have been more mature and would not have re-offended, and for the parole board's error, it should pay him the U.S. equivalent of almost $1 million.

Anthropomorphizing Little Muffy: (1) A February St. Petersburg Times report found several local people who regularly cook gourmet meals for their dogs and who revealed their dogs' (or maybe just "their") favorite recipes. "Veggie Cookies for Dogs," for example, requires whole-wheat flour, dried basil, dried cilantro, dried oregano, chopped carrot, green beans, tomato paste, canola oil and garlic. Asked one chef: Why feed "man's best friend" what you wouldn't eat yourself? (2) A day spa for dogs ("Wag Style") in Tokyo offers sessions in a hyperbaric oxygen chamber, supposedly easing doggy arthritis, healing wounds and halting aging. (Some racehorse owners are certain that the chambers help with equine muscle and joint problems, but an academic researcher told a BoingBoing.net writer that evidence of benefit is "anecdotal.")

-- At first, Rev. Fred Armfield's arrest for patronizing a prostitute in Greenwood, S.C., in January looked uncontroversial, with Armfield allegedly confessing that he had bargained Melinda "Truck Stop" Robinson down from $10 to $5 for oral sex. Several days later, however, Armfield formally disputed the arrest, calling himself a "descendant of the original Moro-Pithecus Disoch, Kenyapithecus and Afro Pithecus," a "living flesh and blood being with sovereign status," and someone who, based on his character and community standing, should not be prosecuted. Also, he claimed that any payment to "Truck Stop" with Federal Reserve Notes did not legally constitute a purchase since such notes are not lawful money.

-- Lame: (1) Glenn Armstrong, 47, had a defense ready when police accused him of taking restroom photographs of boys in Brisbane, Australia, in January. He said he was having an ongoing debate with his wife and was gathering proof that most boys are not circumcised. (2) Sheriff's deputies in Austin, Texas, arrested Anthony Gigliotti, 17, after complaints that the teen was annoying women by following them around in public and snapping photographs of their clothed body parts. Gigliotti told one deputy that he needed the photos because the sex education at his Lake Travis High School was inadequate.

-- Fredrick Federley, a member of the Swedish Parliament, said he has always campaigned as someone who does not take gifts from those he is responsible for regulating, but he was called out by the newspaper Aftonbladet in February for having accepted a free travel holiday from an airline. Federley denied that "he" accepted the trip. He reminded reporters that he is a notorious, flamboyant cross-dresser, and thus that it was his alter-ego "Ursula" who received the free holiday.

In February, the trade group Mortgage Bankers Association announced the sale of its Washington, D.C., headquarters for $41 million. The association had purchased the building in 2007, at the peak of the real estate bubble, for $79 million.

-- Craig Show, 49, filed a lawsuit in January against the Idaho State Police and the Bonner County Sheriff's Office, demanding compensation following his DUI arrest in August. Show said the cops had seized a "medicine bag" on his motorcycle and, in opening it for inspection, permitted the "mystical powers" inside to escape. The bag was blessed by a "medicine woman" in 1995 and, Show said, had been unopened since then.

-- Sabrina Medina filed a lawsuit against the Hyatt Regency Waikiki Resort in Hawaii in January, claiming that an employee had caused her husband's death. The late Humberto Murillo had swiped two 12-packs of beer from a store at the resort, but the manager pursued and confronted him. Murillo started punching, and bystanders came to the manager's aid, restrained Murillo and held him down. Murillo, who was bipolar and had marijuana in his system, passed out and asphyxiated.

-- Clumsy: (1) Teacher Karen Hollander filed a lawsuit in November against the New York City Department of Education after taking a fall on "slippery foreign substances," including condoms, on the floor at the High School of Art & Design. Since schools distribute condoms on campus, she said, the department is responsible when students open them and discard them during the lunch period, littering the floor. (2) Anthony Avery, 72, a retired insurance underwriter, filed a lawsuit in December against the exclusive Rye Golf Club in East Sussex County, England, for lingering injuries caused when he slipped on the wet floor of the club's shower room. The floor, he said, was "too" slippery.

-- Human Rights Law: Iraqi immigrant Laith Alani murdered two doctors in a British hospital in 1990 and has been confined to mental facilities ever since, taking clozapine to control his schizophrenia. Since Alani is not a citizen, the government has sought deportation, but in January the Asylum and Immigration Tribunal ruled that that would violate Alani's "human rights." Only the British hospitals, reasoned the judges, can guarantee that Alani will receive uninterrupted clozapine, without which he would become dangerous to himself and to others (that is, fellow Iraqis, after repatriation).

-- Orthodox Jewish Law: Israel Elias and his then-wife Susan Zirkin were divorced under British law in 1962, but Zirkin has been unable to remarry since then because Orthodox Jewish law does not recognize divorce unless the husband grants the wife a "get," and Elias has refused. Within the Orthodox community, Zirkin would have been shunned had she remarried, as would any children she had. A few rabbis try to work around the system, but their attempts are not widely accepted. Zirkin, now 73, was believed to be the world's longest-standing "chained" wife, but in February, after 37 years, she became a free woman. Elias passed away, and the "get" is no longer necessary.

(1) Myesha Williams, 20, and a friend walked in to the police station in DeLand, Fla., in January and demanded to know why their photos appeared in local crime news on TV. Following questioning, police decided Williams was the woman on their surveillance video robbing a beauty shop and arrested her (but since Williams' friend had left before the actual robbery, she was not charged). (2) The burglar who stole already-filled prescription orders from the West Main Pharmacy in Medford, Ore., in January puzzlingly limited his take to the pickup-ready packages filed under "O." Police guessed that the burglar must have been after the commonly stolen "oxycodone" and was unaware that outgoing prescriptions are filed by customers' last names, not their medications.

(1) Last May, a 13-year-old boy in Galt, Calif., became the most recent inadvertent beneficiary of foolish behavior. Acting on a dare, the boy had chugged eight shots of tequila and lost consciousness. A routine CT scan at the hospital exposed an until-then-unrevealed brain tumor, and the boy is slowly recovering from his arduous but lifesaving surgery. (2) In January, James Shimsky, 50, became the most recent priest in the Catholic Diocese of Scranton, Pa., to be arrested for wayward behavior (with several recent instances reported in a January edition of News of the Weird). Shimsky was arrested on a Philadelphia street for allegedly buying cocaine.

As many as 10 percent of Japanese youths may be living in "epic sulks" as hermits ("hikikomori"), according to a March 2005 Taipei Times dispatch from Tokyo, thus representing no improvement in the already alarming problem that was described in a News of the Weird report in 2000, which estimated that 1 million young professionals were then afflicted. Many of the hikikomori still live in their parents' homes and simply never leave their bedrooms except briefly to gather food. Among the speculation as to cause: school bullying, academic pressure, poor social skills, excessive video-gaming, inaccessible father figures, and an education system that suppresses youths' sense of adventure.

Pastor John Renken's Xtreme Ministries of Memphis, Tenn., is one of a supposedly growing number of churches that use "mixed martial arts" events to recruit wayward young men to the Christian gospel. Typically, after leading his flock in solemn prayer to a loving God, Pastor Renken adjourns the session to the back room, where a New York Times reporter found him in February shouting encouragement to his violent parishioners: "Hard punches!" Renken yelled. "Finish the fight! To the head! To the head!" One participant told the Times that fight nights bring a greater masculinity to religion, which he said had, in recent years, gone soft.

-- Over-Connecting the Dots: At age 8, Mike Hicks is a frequent air traveler with his mother, and while she is seldom noticed by airport screeners, "Mikey" almost always is because he shares a name with someone on the enhanced-security list that is one level below "no fly" (one of 1,600 such Michael Hickses in the U.S.). His mom told The New York Times in January that Mikey has been patted down by security since he was 2. (But sometimes government under-connects the dots. Delaware pediatrician Earl Bradley's January arrest and February indictment for allegedly sexually molesting 103 children came only after he was cleared in two police investigations in three years, involving eight complaints, and despite one ex-colleague's routinely referring to Dr. Bradley as a "pedophile.")

-- Better Late Than Never? (1) Ten days after Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab nearly brought down the Christmas Day airliner over Detroit, the State Department officially revoked his visa. (2) Eight days after the Christmas Eve demolition of Minneapolis' historic Fjelde House (as a fire hazard), the Minneapolis Heritage Preservation Commission awarded the site "interim protection" for its historic value.

-- Too Much Diversity: (1) In January, the U.S. Justice Department's Civil Rights Division posted a job announcement supposedly in line with current affirmative-action policy. The division is seeking "experienced attorneys" and was encouraging "qualified applicants with targeted disabilities" to apply. Legally protected "targeted disabilities" include the traditional, such as blindness, but also "mental retardation." (2) In February, aspirants for taxicab licenses in Portsmouth, England, were officially informed by the City Council that application forms are available in other languages or in "audio," "large print" or "Braille."

-- When "You Lie!" Doesn't Quite Capture the Moment: Legislator Abel LeBlanc was suspended from Canada's New Brunswick Assembly in February for giving middle-finger salutes to two colleagues, calling one a "punk" and declaring himself ready to "walk outside with any one of yas here." "Don't ever laugh at me," he continued. "Yes, I gave you that (the finger). And I'll give you that again. And (to another colleague) I'll give you this (finger) if you want to go outside."

Just after Christmas, the Anglican Church of St. Peter in Great Limber, England, unveiled artist Adam Sheldon's 6-foot-high representation of the crucifixion consisting of 153 pieces of toast. Sheldon browned the bread himself, then painstakingly either scraped (to lighten) or torched (to darken) each piece to fashion the tableau.

-- They Don't Make Cops Like They Used To: Sheriff's deputy John Franklin of San Luis Obispo, Calif., filed a lawsuit in December against the Catholic Church and former priest Geronimo Cuevas for the "emotional trauma" he suffered by being propositioned for sex while working undercover in 2007. Deputy Franklin was patrolling a public park near Avila Beach when Father Cuevas reached out and touched Franklin's clothed genital area. Cuevas was arrested and convicted, but Deputy Franklin said he is not yet over the feelings of "anger, rage, disgust and embarrassment."

-- Chutzpah: Former Stoughton, Mass., police sergeant David Cohen was convicted in 2007 of attempted extortion and witness-tampering and sentenced to 30 months in jail. In November 2009, he filed a formal demand for payment of at least $113,000 he said the department owes him for unused vacation, sick leave and comp time. He also claims extra pay because, while still on the job, he had to spend 481 hours in court and 280 hours preparing in order to defend himself against the criminal charges.

Arrested in January in Memphis, Tenn., and charged with having carnal knowledge of an underage girl: Mr. Knowledge Clark, 29. Arrested in January in Hellertown, Pa., and charged with cashing a stolen check: Richard Fluck, 47, and Bryan Flok, 47. Arrested in Denver in February and charged with using another person's driver's license as identification: Mr. Robin J. Hood, 34. Arrested in Kingston, Pa., in January and charged with cocaine trafficking: Carlos Laurel, 30, and Andre Hardy, 39. Arrested in February in DeFuniak Springs, Fla., and charged with possession of crystal meth: Crystal Beth Williams, 21.

(1) Victim Debra Wilson testified that she had been driven nearly into bankruptcy by loan shark Robert Reynolds, 39, who extorted over time the equivalent of about $135,000. In December, Reynolds was convicted in Durham Crown Court but ordered to repay only the equivalent of about $2,300. (However, the judge warned that if Reynolds failed to pay, he could be jailed for up to 35 days!) (2) In September 2008, veteran criminal Waled Salem and two partners were discovered burglarizing the home of businessman Munir Hussain. Salem, wielding a knife, restrained Hussain, his wife, and children and resumed the ransacking. Hussain freed himself and chased the men away, catching up only with Salem, whom he then beat with a cricket bat. In December 2009 in Reading Crown Court, Salem was sentenced to probation, but Hussain got 30 months in jail for assault.

Colt Heltsley, 20, had been spotted by police in 2008 at the Preble County (Ohio) Fair, "looking around, acting nervous" in the area of a row of portable toilets and in one 30-minute sequence continually moving empty toilets until they were close together. He was eventually convicted of voyeurism, peeping at a female using the facility. In December 2009, a state appeals court rejected Heltsley's defense that police had violated his right to privacy with their surveillance.

Elderly drivers' recent lapses of concentration, accidentally confusing the brake pedal with the gas: An 89-year-old man crashed through the front of Sussex Eyecare opticians in Seaford, England (June). A driver "in her late 80s" crashed into the Buttonwood Bakery in Hanover Township, Pa. (September). An 86-year-old man crashed into the Country Boy Family Restaurant in Dunedin, Fla. (October). An 82-year-old man crashed into the Egypt Star Bakery in Whitehall Township, Pa. (November). A 78-year-old woman drove off of a 30-foot cliff (but the car's plunge was halted when it lodged against a tree) near Hannibal, Mo. (August). A 92-year-old man crashed into the Biscuits 'N' Gravy and More restaurant in Port Orange, Fla. (January) (but was not deterred amidst the rubble he created, as he calmly went inside, sat down and ordered breakfast).

In August 1994, Sanford, Fla., judge Newman Brock picked up hair clippers and went to the local Seminole County Jail for his regular biweekly haircut from his longtime hairstylist, Rick Thrower, who was serving 45 days for DUI violations. Said Thrower, "(The judge is) a very loyal customer."