After languishing for two years in the Irish legislature, the Nuclear Test Ban Bill of 2006 has recently been rethought and refurbished, according to a June report in the Irish Independent. Originally, the bill codified the U.N. Test Ban Treaty, adding some provisions specific to Ireland. Among those additions was the punishment for anyone detonating a nuclear weapon in Ireland: up to 12 months in jail and/or a fine of up to 5,000 euros (then, around $6,500), along with language that might even allow a person found guilty to apply for first-offense probation. The proposed punishment this time is expected to be considerably harsher.

-- In the 1920s, when inmate "chain gangs" were in their heyday, Alabama sheriffs were allotted a prison meal budget of $1.75 per prisoner per day, with thrifty sheriffs allowed to pocket any excess for themselves. According to a May Associated Press investigation, the policy, and the amount, are unchanged to this day in 55 of the state's 67 counties, and also unchanged is the fact that sheriffs have cut the menus so cleverly or drastically that some sheriffs still make money on the deal. (The per-meal fee under the National School Lunch program for low-income students is $2.47.)

-- Mr. Gokhan Mutlu filed a lawsuit in May against JetBlue Airways for more than $2 million after he was ordered out of his seat by the captain during a full New York-to-California flight and told to stand up or go "hang out in the bathroom" for the duration. Mutlu had only a gift ticket, and an off-duty JetBlue employee who had originally agreed to sit in the cockpit jump seat changed her mind and thus was given Mutlu's seat. Mutlu pointed out that he was un-seat-belted during turbulence and during the landing.

-- Not Exactly Hard Time: (1) In May, St. Catharines, Ontario, judge Stephen Glithero released Wayne Ryczak on 14 months' jail time already served, as punishment for strangling a prostitute in his trailer home. He claimed self-defense (improbable in such a strangulation), but had pleaded guilty to manslaughter, requesting via his lawyer a two-year sentence. (2) Last year, Stephanie Grissom, driving 71 mph in a 55-mph zone, accidentally struck and killed a Howard County, Md., traffic officer when he stepped onto the highway to motion for her to pull over. In May 2008, the case was closed, with Grissom fined $310 and three points on her record.

-- Vendors in Qingdao, China (where Olympic sailing events will take place in August), were reportedly selling, as unofficial Olympics souvenirs, key rings with heart-shaped plastic charms that contained live (at least temporarily) goldfish suspended in water. Animal protection advocates were incredulous, according to a June report in the Sydney Morning Herald.

-- Denmark has already aroused Muslims' ire for a Danish newspaper's publishing blasphemous caricatures of the Prophet Mohammad in 2006, and in June, the country's public broadcast channel DR1 sponsored an Internet-voting contest to choose among women (presumably Muslims) modeling headscarves. The winner was 18-year-old Huda Falah, who is Iraqi and one of the 46 women who submitted photographs. DR1 insisted that the contest was more about fashionable headscarves than a beauty contest for the models. Among the prizes: an iPod and a subscription to Muslim Girl magazine.

-- "This proves that we are normal," said the founder of the Liberty Gay Rodeo Association in May during the organization's event in a Philadelphia suburb. The sight of rugged cowboys and cowgirls, she said, dispels some sexual stereotypes that have plagued gays and lesbians. However, among the events (besides traditional steer riding and calf roping) was "goat dressing" (with pairs of contestants trying to put hot-pink underwear on an uncooperative goat in the shortest time, according to a Reuters report).

-- After motorist Mark Holder, 30, had a seizure in Boynton Beach, Fla., in June, his car swerved off the road and smashed into a sign, badly injuring him. Emergency workers arrived and, protecting against possible nerve damage, attempted to put a brace on to stabilize his neck. However, Holder became combative, and sheriff's deputies reported that they were forced to shoot Holder "several times" with a Taser to calm him enough that the brace could be fitted.

(1) In Singapore in June, a 36-year-old man was sentenced to 14 years in jail and 18 strokes of the cane after he was convicted of 23 counts of molesting women on elevators and other places, mostly by sniffing their armpits. (2) In June, a masochist, with tastes similar to those of the Ontario man reported here three months ago, was sentenced to four years in jail for encouraging two underage girls near Bicester, England, to kick him repeatedly in the groin until he could no longer handle the pain.

Not Ready for Prime Time: (1) James Milsom, 21, was arrested in Avon and Somerset, England, in June after a hidden camera in a police bait car caught him breaking in and swiping the GPS device. It was his third arrest in four months for breaking into a police bait car to steal a GPS (caught by the hidden camera each time). (2) In June, Reno, Nev., homicide detective David Jenkins was sitting in his unmarked car (but one with emergency lights on the dash and a police radio blaring away) when Mercedes Green, 19, hopped in and, yelling to be heard over the radio, propositioned him for sex. "You're not the police, are you?" she asked. "What do you think," he said. "I didn't think so," the streetwise woman replied. After her arrest, Green explained: "You wear glasses, and I didn't think police could wear them."

Luxury toilets were introduced in hygiene-sensitive Japan in the 1970s, and within 20 years, models were available to automatically heat bottom-splashing water, take health readings of bodily emissions, and supply music and "white noise" to mask the movements, as News of the Weird noted in 1990 and 2001. Though the world is more environmentally conscious, and Japan is among the leaders among industrial nations in energy conservation, the country has not been able to shake its obsession with smart toilets, which consume more electricity than dishwashers or clothes dryers, according to a June Washington Post dispatch from Tokyo. Said one energy consultant, "For hygiene-conscious Japanese, the romance with these toilets is equivalent to the American romance with the Hummer."

A 28-year-old woman, unnamed by the Kitsap (Wash.) Sun, was arrested in May and charged with stealing her husband's wallet and subsequently assaulting an arresting officer. According to deputies, she had awakened her husband, 24, demanding sex, but he had rebuffed her by insisting that from that point on, the two of them would quit smoking, drinking and cussing, limit their sexual activities and be "good Christians." Part or all of that did not sit well with the wife, and police arrived to witness her screaming (described as "blood-curdling"), swearing, slamming doors and complaining about her unsatisfactory sex life, while carrying around a large bottle of whiskey. At one point, she allegedly tossed the couple's 20-pound dog at a deputy (who caught it safely).

(1) Two young men and a juvenile were charged in May in Houston with corpse abuse after they allegedly dug into a grave in a cemetery in the town of Humble, removed the head, and took it away in order to use it as a bong for smoking marijuana. (2) Jorge Espinal, 44, was taken to a hospital in Fort Worth, Texas, in May after an early-morning incident (alcohol was involved) in which he used a loaded handgun to scratch a hand-to-reach itch on his back and accidentally shot himself.

(Visit Chuck Shepherd daily at http://NewsoftheWeird.blogspot.com or www.NewsoftheWeird.com. Send your Weird News to WeirdNewsTips@yahoo.com or P.O. Box 18737, Tampa, FL 33679.)

China continues to prepare for the Olympics: Officials have issued a standard chanting routine that all Chinese spectators should employ during competitions (translated as "Olympics! Add fuel!" with two claps and then both thumbs up, then "China! Add fuel!" with two more claps and raised fists, according to a June Reuters dispatch). ("Add fuel" is apparently a traditional motivational chant in China.) Also preparing was Dr. Wei Sheng, the Chinese man who holds the Guinness Book record of sticking 1,790 needles in his head at one time. In June he stuck himself with 2,008 pins in the Olympic design and colors.

-- Dozens of spas operate in Russia's Caucasus Mountains region, exploiting the mineral springs in the area, and apparently colonic treatment is a specialty. In fact, in June, the Mashuk-Akva Term spa in Zheleznovodsk unveiled a large monument to the enema (an 800-pound brass syringe bulb held aloft by three angels). "Let's beat constipation," read one banner. Said the sculptor: "This device is eternal; it will never change. We could promote this brand, turn it into a franchise with souvenirs and awards for medical doctors."

-- The reputation of the Japanese for being humble is falling to Western norms among primary-school parents, according to a June dispatch from Tokyo in The Times of London. "Across Japan, teachers are reporting an astonishing change in the character of parents" as they push for their children's "rights." In one school's performance of "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs," there were 25 Snow Whites after "monster parents" bullied officials into admitting that it was not fair to have just one kid in the title role.

-- His countrymen are too polite, wrote French doctor Frederic Saldmann in his new book (translated as "Spring Cleaning") and can improve their health by uninhibitedly embracing their bodily functions that he said too many Frenchmen suppress. According to a May dispatch from Paris in London's Daily Telegraph, Saldmann wrote that the intestines, stomach and esophagus benefit if gas is expelled promptly and pores freely excrete toxins. In fact, he wrote, doing away with antiperspirants also facilitates "a certain number of messages that are potentially very attractive to the opposite sex."

-- A 50-year-old woman, married for 30 years, asked for a divorce last October (according to the Al-Arabiya news Web site in Dubai) because her husband had peeked at her face under her veil as she slept. The man apologized and said he would never do it again, but she said the customs of her village (near the Saudi city of Khamis Mushayt) dictate that he had contaminated the marriage by seeing her face.

-- A bus service that shuttles gamblers from Colorado Springs to nearby mountain-town casinos has been awarded $382,000 in Homeland Security anti-terrorism grants, according to a May report by the Colorado Springs Gazette. Federal officials said the grants were part of the Infrastructure Protection Activities program, with the money used for "vehicle security," GPS systems and training drivers, which means, according to a bus company official, teaching them "to be aware of their surroundings, of what's unusual and the people on board."

-- Officials in Chongqing, China, abruptly shut down the lifestyle magazine New Travel Weekly in May after it published a photo spread of sexy women in lingerie posing in the rubble at one of the country's recent earthquake sites. The editorial staff was fired and the company ordered into "rectification," which is apparently the process of self-examination of what in the world the company might have been thinking.

-- You've Been Left Behind LLC has begun offering an e-mail service to Christians who are preparing for the Rapture (in which all "true" Christians ascend to heaven to meet the Lord). Since the Rapture may commence suddenly, those chosen may have to depart without saying goodbye to their less worthy friends and besides will leave their property behind during the ensuing seven years before Armageddon. For $40 a year, Christians can maintain an e-mail list of up to 62 people who would be notified and can store encrypted electronic documents, such as PIN numbers and powers of attorney. "There won't be any bodies," the Web site warns, pointing out an advantage of its service, "so probate court (would) take (all) seven years (just) to clear your assets to your next of kin."

-- "Everyone knows what an ankle is," said an official of the association of Texas medical doctors. Not so, said a lawyer representing Texas podiatrists: "You don't have an ankle. The foot actually includes the ankle." A state appeals court in March sided with the medical doctors, but the podiatrists say it's not over yet and that they may continue to treat ankles even though they are licensed to work only on feet.

-- When the recent Midwest rains hit Wisconsin, Lake Delton overflowed and completely drained out, into the lower-lying Wisconsin River, and the owner of a Lake Delton resort filed an insurance claim for "loss of income" since guests, realizing there was no "lake," had canceled their plans. So far, the resort's insurer has refused to pay because the whole thing was started by uninsured "flooding," even though the only reason for income loss is that Lake Delton is dry.

Since 2004 the Palmerton Area (Pa.) School Board has paid $45,000 for the special education of Rebecca Maykish, 17, who has an apparently devastating fear of "school," dating back to fourth grade. The mere act of spending time in a classroom, her mother says, causes her to cry nonstop for hours. The board, acknowledging her "generalized anxiety disorder," agreed to accommodate her illness by specially funding things broadly educational or therapeutic, and so far that includes not only tutors and software but modeling classes and travel, to build her self-esteem. The Morning Call of Allentown reported in May that, with the board's funds depleted, and Rebecca's continuing to drop out shortly after each school year begins, the government has begun to impose truancy fines on her mother.

-- Not Ready for Prime Time: (1) Police quickly made an arrest in Hughes, Ark. (pop. 1,800) in May after a Pepsi machine was stolen from a liquor store; the distinct dolly tracks led from the store to the man's home, and besides, he had left the machine in his front yard. (2) The armed robber of a Fifth Third Bank in Orlando, Fla., is still at large, but based on the surveillance video, a sheriff's detective said the man was "probably not familiar with handguns" because he appeared to be pointing his at himself during the robbery.

-- Dentist Who Hates It When That Happens: Anne Greer filed a lawsuit in June against Winter Park, Fla., dentist Wesley Meyers over the death of her father last year during procedures to secure his dentures with implants. During the October 2006 visit, Meyers had accidentally dropped a screwdriver down the patient's throat, which required a colonoscopy to remove. The man returned the following year to give Meyers another chance (against his daughter's wishes), and during that procedure, Meyers accidentally dropped a torque wrench down his throat, creating problems that ultimately proved fatal.

(1) Shauntel Mayo, 29, was convicted in Tyler, Texas, in May of forcing four children (the youngest beginning at age 5) to perform sex acts on stage for something called the Mineola Swingers Club. Four other adults are scheduled for trial (including Patrick "Booger Red" Kelly, 41), even though Mayo's jury deliberated only four minutes before finding her guilty. (2) Todd Barkau, 35, and a 44-year-old woman were indicted in May in Kansas City, Mo., on charges of training the woman's daughter (beginning at age 12) to become a dominatrix whose services were for sale on the Internet.

(Visit Chuck Shepherd daily at http://NewsoftheWeird.blogspot.com or www.NewsoftheWeird.com. Send your Weird News to WeirdNewsTips@yahoo.com or P.O. Box 18737, Tampa, FL 33679.)

Faced with its Alzheimer's residents' tendency to wander away, the Benrath Senior Centre in Dusseldorf, Germany, came up with a novel approach: a fake bus stop (an exact replica of a real one) out front. Straying residents might be attracted to the familiar colors and design of the kiosk (because long-term memory is typically still robust) and wait there for a bus instead of trying to "go home" on foot. But short-term, the resident is typically unaware of how long he has been waiting and will remain until a Centre employee sees him and can guide him back into the home (which often is easy because the resident has by then forgotten why he is sitting there, according to a June dispatch from Berlin in London's Daily Telegraph).

-- Minor league pitcher John Odom was traded in May by the Calgary Vipers of the independent Golden Baseball League to the Laredo Broncos of the independent United League, but his exchanged counterpart balked at leaving the U.S. for the Canadian team. The clubs huddled and announced that Odom would still report to Laredo, which would send Calgary not a player in return, but 10 bats.

-- Car dealer Walter Moore of Max Motors in Butler, Mo. (an hour south of Kansas City), announced in May a free premium to every car purchaser: either $250 worth of gasoline or a gift certificate for a handgun. He told KMBC-TV that 80 percent of customers choose the gun.

-- Technically, Macie McCartney was born on May 3 of this year in Laredo, Texas, but that appearance outside the womb was actually her second. When a large tumor showed up on Macie six months into her mother's pregnancy, surgeons actually pulled the fetus almost completely out of the uterus so they could excise the growth and then re-inserted the fetus. Following that rare procedure, the birth was normal, according to Dr. Darrell Cass, who explained it in June to viewers of NBC's "Today" show.

-- Ironies: (1) Evolution scientists at Switzerland's University of Lausanne reported in June that over the course of 30 to 40 generations, ordinary flies tend to live longer if they're stupid. The researchers guessed that heightened neural activity overtaxed their systems. (2) Cardiologists at Hartford (Conn.) Hospital, writing in the June Annals of Emergency Medicine, described a patient suffering from irregular heartbeat whose rhythm was restored to normal following a Tasering by police.

-- BBC filmmakers announced in June that they had captured, for perhaps the first time ever, an episode of pandas mating in the wild, for the "Wild China" TV series. A male is shown fighting off other males to coax a female down from a tree. What follows that, said producer Glenn Maxwell, are "loud calls which will make viewers think instantly of the Wookie character from the 'Star Wars' movies. I liken it to Chewbaccas in a pub brawl." Eventually, the female descends, and the pair get to work, "breathing hard and panting," said Maxwell. "You can see the steam coming out of their mouths."

-- Animals in Trouble: (1) China's Xinhua news agency reported in March that a farmer in Jilin province had been found with a tortoise that is addicted to nicotine. The farmer, a smoker himself, said he was surprised when the pet puffed on a cigarette he had playfully stuck in its mouth, and since then, he occasionally shares smokes with it. (2) Magistrates in Sunderland, England, accepted a guilty plea in June from Samantha Pearson and David Step for animal cruelty. The couple had relocated quarters last October but left behind a pet, Milly, to starve to death. Milly was a pet rat.

(1) High school soccer coach Sanford Kaplan, 57, was arrested in Lincoln, Neb., in May and charged with having imprisoned several underage boys in sessions in his garage in which they were bound, gagged and suspended from the rafters. (2) Track coach Lawrence "Poppy" Vincent, 74, of Bracken Christian School in Bulverde, Texas, was arrested in May and charged with indecent exposure to an undercover police officer; Vincent was wearing floral women's panties and a bra. (3) Football coach Steve Halpin, 52, was permitted to retire quietly in June from Mesquite High School near Dallas after officials discovered that he had pawned 270 items since January 2007, including school equipment (which, in each case, he had later retrieved from the pawnshop).

Washington, D.C., police chief Cathy Lanier decided in May to rehire 17 cops who had been fired for misconduct. The cases against the officers were solid, she noted, except that their hearings before a police trial board had not been held within the required 55 days after the charges were filed. D.C. courts and arbitrators had previously reinstated officers where the 55-day deadline was not met, and Lanier felt she had no choice. (However, the following week, Lanier announced she was beginning the process of re-firing the 17 officers, this time because they would be unable to perform their jobs since they could not be credible witnesses in criminal cases because of their records.)

(1) "There's really no way to explain people's fetishes," said University of Cincinnati campus police Capt. Karen Patterson, describing the arrest of Dwight Pannell, 43, for allegedly crawling under a library table, squirting liquid from a syringe on a female student's shoe, and photographing it. Pannell told police he was just trying out his new camera. (2) In February, police officer Michael Curtin, 36, was removed from the force in Munhall, Pa., and in April was charged with offering two underage girls $1,000 each to let him suck their toes.

Not Ready for Prime Time: (1) Sharon Platt allegedly stole about $5,000 from her employer, Murphy Motors of Williston, N.D., recently and left town. She was apprehended in Pittsburgh in May after she applied for a job and listed Murphy Motors as a reference, and her old employer alerted Pittsburgh police. (2) Charles Ray Fuller, 21, was arrested in Fort Worth, Texas, in April after he took a blank check belonging to his girlfriend and wrote it out to himself for $360,000,000,000.00, which he presented to Chase Bank. He remained in character after his arrest, assuring police that the check was legitimate, offered by the girlfriend's mother to help him start a record label.

Methane's longstanding menace as a climate-altering greenhouse gas is closer than ever to being controlled, said New Zealand scientists in June after genome-mapping found the source of flatulence in ruminant animals, and the researchers said they thought they could vaccinate against it. While livestock accounts for only 2 percent of U.S. greenhouse gas, it causes over half of New Zealand's. Unless the vaccination is successful, farmers will face a huge tax on methane by 2012 brought on by the requirements of the Kyoto Protocol.

(1) When a big storm came through Alma, Ark., on the evening of May 7, residents rushed out to secure themselves inside the brand-new community shelter the town had just built with great fanfare. However, as the winds raged, the 20 people who showed up had to sprawl on the ground because the shelter was locked, and the deputy with the key was busy on a call. (2) In January, Dr. Steve Paulk announced that he would commence offering breast augmentation procedures and would be working out of Moundview Memorial Hospital in Friendship, Wis.

(Visit Chuck Shepherd daily at http://NewsoftheWeird.blogspot.com or www.NewsoftheWeird.com. Send your Weird News to WeirdNewsTips@yahoo.com or P.O. Box 18737, Tampa, FL 33679.)