Art Comes to Life: In a 1999 episode of TV's "The Simpsons," Homer became a temporary multibillionaire by accidentally inventing a "tomacco" plant that sprouted tobacco-bred tomatoes that were hopelessly addictive from even a single bite. Inspired (and hoping to draw attention to the show's anti-smoking message), Rob Baur of Lake Oswego, Ore., tried to grow such a plant and has somewhat succeeded, although a forensic researcher believes that only the plant itself, and not the fruit, contains nicotine. In February, he announced that he would auction off the golf-ball-sized fruit.

-- Ronald Paul McAllister, 43, allegedly robbed a Bank of America branch in Tulsa, Okla., in January, during which incident he was quoted as advising a teller, "Don't do anything stupid, lady." Moments later, as McAllister fled with his loot, he forgot to take his holdup note, which was a pre-printed withdrawal slip with his name on it. He was easily tracked down, and police now say McAllister had robbed another bank in October.

-- Ariel Alonso, who lives near Roanoke, Va., was indignant when the U.S. Drug Enforcement Administration wrongly accused him of setting up a methamphetamine lab, and asked rhetorically, after the charges were dropped in January, "How do I get my ... dignity back?" The laboratory of Alonso (and his then-partner Jonathan Conrad) was in reality making the so-called "fluid of life," which they goaded customers into buying (at $20 to $40 a dose) by claiming that it is the component of human cells and can cleanse people internally and build new tissue, even though it was just potassium chloride and white grape juice. (That, apparently, is the business plan that gave Alonso "dignity.")

-- Convicted murderer Robert Ivey continued to tell a court in Montreal, Quebec, in December that (contrary to a jury's finding) he is not guilty of killing the 42-year-old victim and that if only he had enough money to challenge the conclusive DNA tests (which showed that his blood was all over the victim's apartment), he would be a free man. A few moments later during his recitation to the court, Ivey asked the judge for credit toward his sentencing because of his conscientiousness in having spent "seven hours" cleaning up the crime scene and the victim's body.

-- North Korean leader Kim Jong Il, who is widely believed by United Nations officials and Far East experts to be tolerating the starvation deaths of perhaps millions of his countrymen, launched a nationwide campaign in January to improve national health by eradicating smoking, whose practitioners, said Kim, are one of the "three main fools of the 21st century" (along with people ignorant about music and computers).

-- In November, Jacky Bibby, 52, of Whiskey Flats, Texas (near Fort Worth), first sat in a bathtub with 81 live rattlesnakes and then extended his own Guinness Book record by stuffing the tails of nine of them into his mouth. Protocol required that he band the tails together at the rattles and hold them in his mouth for 10 seconds while leaning forward. (The Associated Press reported that Bibby's day job is "marketing" for a drug treatment center.) (Also, in December, Brian Moffitt of Winnipeg, Manitoba, extended his Guinness Book record of 702 body piercings by inserting 900 surgical needles into his leg at the same time.)

-- Geologist David J. Siveter of Leicester University (England) wrote in the journal Science in December that he and his team had found a fossil 425 million years old that is probably the oldest record of an unambiguously male animal. They named the half-inch-long shellfish Colymbosathon ecplecticos, which they said means "swimmer with a large penis," referring to its organ that is one-fifth of its body length.

Eva Reyes, 71, the mother of convicted murderer David Maust of Hammond, Ind., said in December, upon being informed that Maust had been charged with three more murders: "I love David, but, yes, (the death penalty) would be the right thing to do for him (if convicted)." Also in December, Lynda Nixon, the mother of convicted double murderer Ian Huntley (Soham, England), told The Sun newspaper: "I believe Ian should not live after what he's done. I truly wish we had capital punishment" (and she went on to specify an "electric chair").

(1) The first international camel beauty pageant was held in November in the Alxa League area of the Inner Mongolia Autonomous region of China, according to an Associated Press dispatch, featuring nearly 100 dressed-up camels judged (by veteran herders) for the shine of their hair and the uprightness of their humps. (2) And a Duke Medical Center study, announced in December, concluded that doses of nicotine might reduce age-associated memory impairment ("senior moments"), thus adding to the conditions (others: schizophrenia, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder) that can benefit from nicotine.

In January, doctors at the Selian Hospital, Arusha, Tanzania, removed a toothbrush from the stomach of a 54-year-old man who had become the latest person to swallow one while brushing his teeth. And in December in Cortland, N.Y., Ron Tanner was captured after about a year on the run as a fugitive from a prison in Wyoming, where he was serving time for theft. Tanner is now the latest innocent man (the Wyoming Supreme Court recently threw out his theft conviction) jailed for escaping from a prison where he was being wrongfully detained, and he faces up to 10 years behind bars if convicted.

Even after it had learned that its chief technology officer's claim of a college computer sciences degree was bogus, the Washington, D.C., Elections Board declined to fire her, reasoning that such a degree was not important to her job (January). And the D.C. Contract Appeals Board declined to suspend a paving firm that had pleaded guilty last year to bribing district officials, thus allowing it to resume normal contracting work (January). Also in January, a government audit revealed that the district last year had failed to use (and therefore had lost) $5 million from federal grants for breakfast and lunch programs for low-income children because it could not figure out how to spend it.

The 48-year-old father of a high school basketball player, riled at the officiating of a game, was charged with assault after allegedly biting two of the three referees in an on-court brawl (Colorado Springs, Colo.). And crude oil bubbled up from the toilet and sinks of Leila LeTourneau's home, covering the floors (possibly from an old, uncapped well under the home) (Longview, Texas). And two Cubans who had tried to land in Florida last year on their pontooned 1951 Chevy truck (but were turned back by the Coast Guard) tried again with a pontooned 1959 Buick (but were again turned back).

(Send your Weird News to Chuck Shepherd, P.O. Box 18737, Tampa FL 33679 or WeirdNews@earthlink.net or go to www.NewsoftheWeird.com.)

On Jan. 16, as bonfires burned across Italy to commemorate the annual festival of St. Anthony, the town of Capena continued its yearly addition to the celebration: a day of smoking cigarettes. Residents, including children as young as 6, light up throughout the day in the town's bonfire. Italy's recent anti-smoking drive notwithstanding, many Capena parents encouraged the kids (honoring a centuries-old tradition that originated with smoking dried rosemary), pointing out that it was just one day a year, but Italian health professionals believe many kids will develop the habit nonetheless.

Jon Paul Divincenzo, 35, was arrested in Royersford, Pa., in November after police said he was the one who several times had elaborately set up and arranged mirrors in a restroom at Spring-Ford Intermediate school so that women and girls using it would be standing or sitting in just the proper locations as to be visible to Divincenzo as he hid behind an ajar door, away from their sight lines. A few days later, prosecutors charged him with having used a similar, intricate setup to spy on cheerleaders in a locker room at Methacton High School in Worcester, Pa.

-- In January, Judge Peter Garcia, driving relatives to his courthouse at noon in Covington, La., noticed an odd sight directly across the street in the municipal cemetery: Two women in pink lingerie, holding S&M accessories, were posing for a professional photo shoot among the gravestones. Garcia grabbed his camera to take his own souvenir photo, which apparently angered one of the women, who pursued Garcia back to his car, lecturing the unknown-to-her judge about various "rights" she thought she had not to be photographed. When Garcia ignored her, she began to thrash the judge's car with her whip before he finally drove away.

-- In November, according to the University of Chicago daily newspaper, Chicago Maroon, in a story about a protest by transsexual, gay and lesbian activists to designate more campus restrooms as unisex, an activist said he knew people who had contracted bladder infections from delaying their urination out of anxiety at being forced to choose between the "men's" room or the "ladies'" room. Said a lesbian activist, of the often-used ladies' room symbol of a silhouetted person wearing a dress: "Going into (that room) implies that we are willing to be associated with that image."

-- About once a month, the owners of the Marina del Rey (Calif.) Sportfishing bait shop reap a windfall. According to a January Los Angeles Times story, a Tibetan Buddhist study group drops by in a caravan after meditating on the "liberation of beings" and plunks down $1,000 to $2,000 to buy as much live bait as they can, after which they go to Marina del Rey Harbor and, in their terms, free the bait (whereupon, of course, much of it is immediately eaten by fish, anyway).

-- In January, convicted murderer Paul Charles Denyer, who told police back when he was arrested that he had picked three women to kill because he "just hate(s) (women)," began the application process at Barwon Prison (near Lara, Australia) for hormone treatment and surgery to become a woman.

-- Former Detroit police officer Adela Garcia, who retired in 1997 and who now owns the Adela's Place bar, was forced to shoot at two men in her parking lot late at night in order to stop them from allegedly assaulting customers. She fired one shot, which passed through both men, killing them. That was one shot more than she had ever fired on the street in 20 years as a police officer, even though she had several dangerous assignments.

-- The Indiana Department of Workforce Development, whose mission is to help unemployed Indianans (including those who have lost jobs because their work was contracted overseas), awarded a $15.2 million computer services contract to Tata American International Corp., to hire 65 programmers to work on the agency's information software starting in November. Two weeks later, state officials canceled the contract after realizing that Tata is a subsidiary of a Bangalore, India, company and that the 65 programmers were being brought in from India.

In December, a federal appeals court upheld Santos Reyes' 26-year prison sentence for the crime of trying to take the written portion of a driver's test for someone else (a sentence required by California's three-strikes law). And paroled sex offender Paul Frederick Goodwin, 39, of Melbourne, Fla., will be sentenced this month for purse-snatching; at his earlier parole hearing, Goodwin was so confident about going straight that he agreed that any further conviction of any kind would send him back to prison for 999 years. And in December, a Youth Court judge in Vancouver, British Columbia, went beyond guidelines to hard-sentence a now-19-year-old man for the fatal baseball-bat bludgeoning of a gay man; the hard sentence is two years in custody plus one under supervised release.

Adding to the list of stories that were formerly weird but which now occur with such frequency that they must be retired from circulation: (69) Medical examiners (or funeral home officials or medical researchers) who accidentally misplace one or more parts when a deceased's body is returned to the family, as the Massachusetts medical examiner was accused of doing (the heart of one man, the brain of another) in October. And (70) the deadly annual Muslim Hajj stampedes, which result when tens of thousands of pilgrims try to get close enough to three pillars (representing Satan) in order to toss 21 stones at them, and which this year saw 244 trampled to death (January).

After several days of hard work, a team from the Russian army was able to rescue 10 tons of beer in kegs that had sunk in a truck in the Irtysh River near the city of Omsk and then were trapped under solid ice. (The truck itself could not be pulled out, but few cared about that.) (January) And a dead, 50-ton, 50-foot-long sperm whale, being transported by flatbed truck through Tainan City, Taiwan, to the National Cheng Kung University in January exploded because of a buildup of gases from decomposition, drenching bystanders and nearby cars in an awesome deluge of blood and innards.

A 24-year-old man was charged with several flashing incidents apparently directed only at Amish men and boys (Heuvelton, N.Y.). When mercury spilled from a Cub Scout's race car, not only was the Scout disqualified for cheating, but his father (who has a background in chemistry) may be liable for a $5,000 hazardous materials cleanup (Lawrence, Kan.). And the leading Swedish veterinary organization suggested that the increase in reports of bestiality since 1999 occurred because that was the year that Sweden first banned child pornography.

(Send your Weird News to Chuck Shepherd, P.O. Box 18737, Tampa FL 33679 or WeirdNews@earthlink.net or go to www.NewsoftheWeird.com.)

While the Statue of Liberty remains shuttered for lack of $5 million in post-Sept. 11 upgrades, Congress in January mandated $10.7 billion in "earmarked" projects (also known as home-state "pork"), including: $50 million for an indoor rain forest in Iowa, $50 million to make sure a Florida beach resort bridge remains toll-free, $450,000 to decipher the gene structure of rainbow trout, $225,000 to repair a public swimming pool whose drain U.S. Rep. Jim Gibbons of Nevada clogged with tadpoles when he was a kid, $200,000 to introduce golf to youngsters, $90,000 for the Cowgirl Hall of Fame, and, ironically, $500,000 for a University of Akron program that analyzes how Congress makes difficult budget decisions.

Pilgrims recently flocked to the following places: (1) Brancaleone, Italy, to see a life-sized bronze statue of the recently sainted Padre Pio supposedly weeping blood (December); (2) Passaic, N.J., to see a 2-foot-high tree stump whose shape resembles the Virgin Mary (October); (3) Bridgeport, Conn., to see a stain-like image on the ceiling of the Holy Trinity Greek Orthodox Church resembling the Virgin Mary holding baby Jesus (December); (4) Bethlehem, to see a baby born with a birthmark across his cheek resembling the Arabic letters of the name of his uncle, a Hamas militant killed by Israeli soldiers (December).

In January, Trilane A. Ludwig, 24, called his mother from jail in Clark County, Ala., and asked that she grab the $500 from his wallet at home and come bail him out. As he almost certainly knew, the $500 was oversized, poorly made counterfeit bills, which put him in even more trouble. And in December, Tony Lee Hinrichs, 40, was arrested in Mesa, Ariz., based on video of him in the act of burglarizing the Extreme Surveillance shop; Hinrichs appeared not to be aware that the company is a security firm that might be expected to have cameras set up.

-- Brenda and Ronald Sager of Mount Pleasant Township, Pa., filed a lawsuit against Wal-Mart in January for their pain and suffering after a plastic grocery bag broke open and its contents fell on their toes. The Sagers said the allegedly overstuffed bag contained a 32-ounce jar of Miracle Whip, a 46-ounce bottle of ketchup, three 15-ounce cans of fruit, an 18-ounce bottle of ranch dressing, and a 12-ounce jar of mustard.

-- Former policeman George Gilfillan won the equivalent of about $155,000 in an Edinburgh, Scotland, court in August against a widower for a neck injury he suffered when his patrol car collided with the widower's late wife's car, which had gotten in the way of Gilfillan's pursuit of a drunk driver. Gilfillan won the money even though the judge said he was going too fast and even though part of the money was for Gilfillan's "depression" over witnessing the woman die.

-- Charles R. Grady sued Frito-Lay in 1993 after he suffered an esophageal tear and bleeding while swallowing a Doritos chip. Grady has been trying for several years to be permitted to introduce as evidence a study by a retired University of Pittsburgh chemical engineering professor who measured the downward force and quantity of saliva necessary to chew and swallow a Dorito and found them dangerously hard and sharp. In December 2003, the Pennsylvania Supreme Court sided with Frito-Lay, saying the professor's testing was not "generally accepted" science and therefore was not admissible.

-- Going beyond bar associations' supervision of lawyers' competence, clients Denzil Dean (in Clayton, Mo.) and Robert Butler (Toronto, Ontario) exacted their own remedies for what they believed to be their attorneys' substandard performance. Dean, complaining in court in January that he did not want Richard Hereford to represent him, punched Hereford in the mouth, and Butler, complaining in court in December about delays in his case, punched out attorney Iryna Revutsky.

-- Practitioners of the Santeria religion are such a presence in Miami area courtrooms, where they spread white dust on the furnishings to bring good luck to their friends and relatives, that attorneys have begun to complain about their higher dry-cleaning bills. Also found from time to time in those courthouses: remnants of Santeria-sacrificed chickens and goats, and mysterious candle formations. In a recent case, Haitian defendant Emmanuel Etienne claimed that his deceased victim had the power to turn himself into a headless donkey by "expelling three flatulents."

Tampa, Fla.: Driver Terry Lee Crouch, 29, accidentally ran over his 6-year-old son while, he told police, playing a game in which the boy tries to cling to the rear bumper while Crouch starts and stops the car attempting to dislodge him (November). And in nearby New Port Richey, Fla., a 400-pound man fell to his waist through the floor of his home at the Orangewood Lakes Mobile Home Community and said he had been trapped there for two days; a neighbor had called on him during his ordeal, but the man declined help (October). And in nearby Largo, Fla., according to police, a 41-year-old woman offered to pay three teenagers $20 to come beat up her son (but told them to be careful with the furniture) (January).

In December, a federal judge rejected the latest appeal of David Cobb, 66, a former teacher at the prestigious Phillips Academy in New Hampshire, who made News of the Weird in 1995 with his attempts to seduce children by dressing as "Pumpkin Man" and encouraging kids to fondle him. He had challenged the child pornography counts against him, claiming that some of the nude photos he had were not of children, but of adults onto whose bodies he had meticulously glued head shots of kids cut out from magazine and catalog ads.

Hunter "Red" Rountree, who pleaded guilty to having robbed a First American Bank branch in August at the age of 91, was sentenced to 12 years in prison; it was his third bank robbery in five years (Lubbock, Texas, January). Daniel Putzel, 87, was arrested and charged with running a house of prostitution (Guilford, Conn., November). An October Boston Herald column hailing the Boston South End neighborhood's alleged top cocaine dealer, Philip "Sonny" Baiona, said the fact that Baiona is 80 is a sign that the city's crime rate is tapering off.

A cleaning crew forgot to lock up at a Bank of the West branch, and a customer had the whole place to himself when he came by on the Martin Luther King holiday (but he notified the police) (Long Beach, Calif.). Officers ticketed a 19-year-old driver for running into an ambulance, charging that the man was distracted by reading a speeding ticket he had just received (South Brunswick, N.J.). A bill was introduced in the Indiana legislature permitting life-without-parole inmates to voluntarily choose to be executed.

(Send your Weird News to Chuck Shepherd, P.O. Box 18737, Tampa FL 33679 or WeirdNews@earthlink.net or go to www.NewsoftheWeird.com.)