DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am an openly lesbian female, though I have only had a couple of brief relationships. I'm not butch, but I do have a masculine side to me. I don't wear makeup or dress "girly" -- always jeans and a T-shirt.
My daughter is getting married next year, and she wants me, as the mother of the bride, to wear a dress. I feel that I don't look good at all in dresses, and also, I have a lot of tattoos that were done at home and are really bad.
I asked her if I could wear a suit, but she doesn't really want me to. I have a year to figure this out. Should I wear a dress that she thinks I look good in? Or should I wear a suit and be comfortable?
GENTLE READER: Your daughter will be able to amass huge support from countless sources that will declare that it is "the bride’s day" and she gets to have she wants.
They are all wrong: They all encourage a bride to be selfish at the expense of others. And Miss Manners fails to understand why your daughter would want you to feel uncomfortable during her wedding.
She can ask you to dress up for the occasion, but that does not mean it has to be a dress. She can make suggestions. She can offer to go shopping with you. But you are an adult, and the final decision is yours.
(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)