DEAR MISS MANNERS: The people at my dentist’s front desk always refer to me as Miss Jane and my husband as Mr. Tom. We are in our 70s, and would prefer to be called Jane and Tom or Mr. and Mrs. Smith.
Do we mention this to the dentist, to the front desk people, or just let it go?
GENTLE READER: As you have not made up your own minds about whether you want to be addressed informally or formally, you should hardly blame the staff for using a compromise between the two. Especially in the South, their form is both warm and respectful.
As the situation here is professional, not personal, Miss Manners would consider the “Mr. and Mrs.” form more appropriate. But if you prefer to have them address you as pals, that is your choice. Just ask them.