DEAR MISS MANNERS: My son-in-law’s parents, Maya and Geoff, divorced a long time ago and remarried, but the two couples remained friendly and cordial. Maya’s second husband passed away a few years back, so Geoff often helps her out with minor repairs in her house.
Now Geoff has a terminal illness. When he dies, I would like to send a condolence to Maya. How should I phrase it? “Sorry about the passing of your ex”? “Your friend”?
GENTLE READER: Refer to the deceased by name. There is, Miss Manners assures you, no need for a condolence letter to define the relationship between recipient and deceased, which the lady is, in any case, in a better position to do than you.
(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)